Do some people enjoy being depressed?
Neil_N
Posts: 6,026 Forum Member
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I haven't had an easy time lately. I lost my partner suddenly in October at the age of 32, plus I have had health problems and other issues too.
Despite all of this - I can smile. I am a determined person and although the pain is raw of my partners death, he wouldn't want me moping around.
What gets to me is, I have known people and know of attention seekers on FB are miserable yet they have everything. Partner, family, friends the lot. One woman in particular who has had depression issues yet and overcome gets het up over the slightest thing.
Should these people be made to realise that they should love and appreciate life?
What do you think?
Despite all of this - I can smile. I am a determined person and although the pain is raw of my partners death, he wouldn't want me moping around.
What gets to me is, I have known people and know of attention seekers on FB are miserable yet they have everything. Partner, family, friends the lot. One woman in particular who has had depression issues yet and overcome gets het up over the slightest thing.
Should these people be made to realise that they should love and appreciate life?
What do you think?
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Depression isn't just being unhappy it is an illness that affects the mind and the mind controls the body it is a difficult illness to get to grips with once it is entrenched and just saying "get on with it because I do" doesn't work.
that`s a good read if you want to gain some understanding about depression ↑ ↑
it doesn`t respect your financial, family or relationship status.
No doubt there are people who think they are depressed when they are just miserable only people who have had proper depression and battled it know the difference.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPilKUPw-y0
"You think misery will make you stand / apart from the crowd / if you had walked past me today / I wouldn't have picked you out"
Two sides to that to remember. You don't know them well enough to know what all is affecting them to feel that way. They could have medical or financial problems they're not sharing with you. Or health problems they're not aware of or that aren't understood well enough to be properly treated, which literally makes them depressed.
The other side is that they only know their own life, their own personal experiences. So maybe they could do with a broader perspective. Though it's going to take effort for all involved to get them there, especially if the ones trying to get them there are also missing something.
But yes, if someone does have financial security and good long term health, as does those close to them, then they might want to think twice about what they're about to publicly complain about regarding their own life.
Re: personality disorder - That is a very valid point. A fair few that can apply too,
Then you have never truly been there.
It doesn't matter what you have when you have depression, you are strangled by it, it's hard to even breathe because of it and you can try and put on a good face of it, but you can feel the weight of it on your back.
I have never told anyone in real life who I know that I have been/am a sufferer of depression because of your last point, inflicting it on others. People don't want to know/care.
I think you don't understand what depression is. Depression strikes people who "have everything" - that's sort of the point. When you're suffering from clinical depression you don't know why you're depressed. Some people don't feel entitled to their feelings just because they do "have everything". Depression is not about not appreciating life it's about being unable to appreciate life. It's natural to feel grief following a bereavement, whether it's a partner, friend or a pet. Imagine feeling that way just because you woke up in the morning. If you can do that you might be part of the way to understanding what depression is. Perhaps you could read up on the subject a little before you start judging people.
argh!! i played the first couple of seconds and the intro triggered a thought of an old favourite track. unfortunately i can`t remember anything but the start of the bassline of said track. >:(:D
Then you're not talking about depression.
Some of these people don't try hard enough, making things worse.
Some don't want to change and cannot be bothered.
Some people are made worse by doctors who dish out pills and offer no solution.
I myself of had a terrible year but I don't get depressed, the career I wanted my whole life is now impossible due to illness, I am now out of a job, have no friends, no girlfriend, no prospect of a future and have no idea what to do, but I still smile and get up each day, I might get the hump now and then, but that's not depression. I have had family members try and kill themselves though.
I'm not sure there are many people who actually enjoy depression, exactly, but I do believe a minority can use it as an excuse in life, work and relationships etc like a sort of card, to pull out and use, when need be.
I saw, first hand, my father with depression, and regardless of the help he'd be offered, medicinally and such, he would just dwell on the label, using it to justify decisions, or behaviour. I actually think a part of him liked the 'excuse' depression gave him, to leave a job, move house and uproot our family, or just not reach the potential he'd thought.
I honestly think depression is over diagnosed, a fall back condition, which is easy to accept for many people. Sadly, leaving real sufferers trying to compete for the services and help, clogged by some who are just dealing with normal emotional processes.
Before it happened to me I had no idea what it was to feel so hopeless; to lack the enthusiasm I had before; to feel there was nothing to look forward to and that there was no point to anything - now I do. I am over it now, because it was just the menopause and I did fully recover... but it has left me with the deepest empathy and sympathy for people who don't recover after a year or two and who live with the 'black dog' for a lifetime. I don't blame them for moaning... it is all part of the condition and if they are anything like me they know they are doing it but they simply cannot summon the resources to stop.
I don't say this about many things in life, because I can so often find some parallel experience to help me empathise... but I really don't think anyone can truly understand depression unless they have had it.
I know someone who lost a friend years ago and she wallows in the attention of that. She enjoys having people giving her tea and sympathy and attention. She has a great life, holidays, good job, marriage etc but honestly, when she wants attention she brings on the waterworks about her long departed friend.
Then theres the other end of the scale, people who are genuinley clinically depressed. It doesnt matter about what they have or dont have, their minds are ill and they cant see a way forward. I have the deepest sympathy for them as it must be terrible. Yet most of these people have a smile on their face, they hide their depression. I knew a man with a succesful career, beautiful wife, two gorgeous children, in fact he 'had it all'. Everytime i saw him he was smiling and chatty and just lovely. I got the biggest shock when i found he'd hung himself a few days after i last saw him.
Yes. That was the point of my previous post. Usually (though not always) its only the nearest and dearest know of the condition. For everyone else they do what i call the Eleanor Rigby (wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door).
Indeed. Depression can be hidden for years, which of course just makes everything worse in the long run. You become an expert at appearing to be cheerful.