would it upset anyone if youre best friend didnt txt or ring on your birthday?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,084
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my best friend and i had no contact on my birthday. :(

i had went out with her twice at the weekend (she paid one night, for my birthday), on my birthday (wednesday) i didnt even expect a card or anything on the actual day, but she didnt ring me (and she rings/txts me everyday virtually), and she didnt even txt me to wish me a happy birthday, and it really brought me down, cause everyone else was txting apart from her. she didnt contact me at all for 2 days...

then today shes txt me as if everythings normal in a completely unrelated txt about if im still going to visit her at home, and then she rang me a couple of times, but i didnt answer. cause i still feel upset...like it made me feel really down that she knew it was my birthday and didnt think it was necessary to txt me.

i dont know if im over-reacting though, i do tend to get over-sensitive sometimes around her, so i dont wanna kick off if people think it isnt a big deal...

but it felt like a big deal to me. shes my best mate and im always there for her, and she, me, but it really hurt she didnt think to contact me and acknowledge the day...am i right to feel upset?
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  • Willie WontieWillie Wontie Posts: 2,942
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    I'm not sure that my two best mates know when my birthday is. I've certainly got no idea when there's are. But then, I suspect that I am a little older than you - for me, birthdays are not a cause for celebration.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,555
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    No, it woudn't bother me; maybe she thought that taking you out at the weekend acknowledged it already - that was a really nice thing for her to do afterall.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 220
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    You say that she paid for you on 1 of your nights out so in my opinion you should just get over it.

    We all went to a gig together 3 days before mine this year, only 1 of the 6 people I went out with that night phoned on the "big day". Didnt bother me at all, the fact that they made the effort was enough for me.

    Like the 2nd poster said it must be an age thing. My birthdays just another day to me.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 51
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    Well my brother tends to forget my birthday sometimes but being a bloke he doesnt keep a calendar of important dates like my sister does.Just send a text saying "thanks for the birthday wishes" at which point the friend will be mortified they forgot and respond straight away:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,084
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    maimou wrote: »
    No, it woudn't bother me; maybe she thought that taking you out at the weekend acknowledged it already - that was a really nice thing for her to do afterall.

    i know that, im grateful for that of course.
    i just expected my best friend to care enough to txt me on the day thats all...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
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    As most people are suggesting, I think the birthday wishes would be assumed as part of the night out your friend paid for.

    It's not worth dwelling on - this is your best friend you're talking about and you shouldn't let something as small as this ruin the good friendship you have.

    Hope you had a good birthday other than that though! :)
  • smartpicturesmartpicture Posts: 1,404
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    Does she normally text you on the day? I find that some people are brought up to think the actual birthday day is very important, and some aren't. My family just aren't fussed, on my birthday only 1 of them said Happy Birthday on the day but the others got around to it eventually, no biggie. But I do have to force myself to remember that some of my friends feel differently so I try to do theirs on the right day.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,084
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    As most people are suggesting, I think the birthday wishes would be assumed as part of the night out your friend paid for.

    It's not worth dwelling on - this is your best friend you're talking about and you shouldn't let something as small as this ruin the good friendship you have.

    Hope you had a good birthday other than that though! :)

    that's true, youre right i guess. :)
    its just she normally txts me all the time, and then the one day she doesnt contact me, its my birthday. then she didnt contact me the next day either. it just made me feel down. but i'll just let it go like you said and try not to dwell on it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
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    olive0000 wrote: »
    that's true, youre right i guess. :)
    its just she normally txts me all the time, and then the one day she doesnt contact me, its my birthday. it just made me feel down. but i'll just let it go like you said and try not to dwell on it.

    Please don't - friendships are ended because of much pettier things than this and it's not worth it! I can understand the logic behind what you're saying if she is texting you all the time normally, but don't fall out with her because of it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,640
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    I get where you are coming from I have a friend like this but instead she does absolutely nothing for my birthday. To me my birthday is important as its so close to Christmas I feel it gets missed so I try and make a big thing of it ho hum. I still talk to her but I am inside slowly resenting and holding a grudge with her - don't do this it eats away at you
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,084
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    Please don't - friendships are ended because of much pettier things than this and it's not worth it! I can understand the logic behind what you're saying if she is texting you all the time normally, but don't fall out with her because of it.

    nah, i wouldnt ever end it cause of that, i value her friendship way too much to do that.
    i was gonna tell her how it made me feel, but i think i'll just keep quiet and forget it and not turn it into a big deal :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 616
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    olive0000 wrote: »
    i know that, im grateful for that of course.
    i just expected my best friend to care enough to txt me on the day thats all...[/quote]

    She cared enough to take you for a night out and pay for it.
    olive0000 wrote: »
    that's true, youre right i guess. :)
    its just she normally txts me all the time, and then the one day she doesnt contact me, its my birthday. then she didnt contact me the next day either. it just made me feel down. but i'll just let it go like you said and try not to dwell on it.


    Texts and phone calls work both ways you know.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,084
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    olive0000 wrote: »
    i know that, im grateful for that of course.
    i just expected my best friend to care enough to txt me on the day thats all...

    She cared enough to take you for a night out and pay for it.




    Texts and phone calls work both ways you know.

    yeah i realise that, but i dont think its unreasonable to want her to contact me on my birthday...
    anyway, im not gonna dwell on it, i realise its not worth getting down over anymore :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 9,177
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    I would be a bit pissed off if my best friend didn't contact me on my brithday tbh, all of my friends and even work friends text me or phone me so for my best friend not to I would be a bit miffed.

    As she took you out for your birthday and paid you obviously mean a lot to her, so I would forget about it this time. She may have just completely forgot to text you as I doubt she did it purposely :)
  • Phil 2804Phil 2804 Posts: 21,846
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    Hang on she treated you to a night out to celebrate your birthday and rings virtually every day regardless. Maybe she was busy at work and forgot. Best friends make mistakes too. Don't take it to heart. My mates never make a big deal about my birthday because they all know it annoys me and they respect that. Its just another day to me.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,683
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    All the other friends may have contacted you, but, did the rest of them take you out for a birthday treat?

    She may have just been a bit lapsydazicle & forgotten when it actually came to the day, maybe she had other more trivial problems.. perhaps that's why she called you when you ignored it, she might have been phoning to apologise..!

    I understand why you're a little bit miffed but I don't think it's worth ignoring her calls, she made the effort when she took you out, it's not like she didn't bother at all.:)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,101
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    My best mates frequently forget my birthday but reserve the right to get huffy if I forget theirs!

    I wouldn't worry about it, these things happen, don't take it to heart.
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    I think you're being a wee bit oversensitive, especially since she had already acknowledged it the weekend before. Maybe it simply slipped her mind or she may have even thought it fell on the day she took you out.

    I forgot my Boyfriends birthday and only remembered it late in the evening, luckily he didn't care.
  • cfc86cfc86 Posts: 31,809
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    Not really. I'd be more upset if a family member didn't text or ring on my birthday.
    A couple friends do text though and girlfriend if I have one. Saying that though I don't really care about my birthday that much so why should I expect others to?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,631
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    I'm with the OP on this as the very same thing happened to me last year on my birthday. When a good friend usually calls, or at the very least emails on the day, and (in my case) did neither, it was very upsetting. But I know I'm too sensitive for my own good! :o To add to it, the birthday card arrived in the post a day late. Soon got over it though. Good friendships survive things like that. :D
  • NoDiceNoDice Posts: 2,228
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    I wouldnt bat an eyelid.:)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,083
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    I wouldn't be bothered, we always forget each other's BD's and at this age we would rather forget them!
    OP she took you out, so that sounds like she cares :)
  • bobblabobbla Posts: 11,806
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    It might have bothered me when i was younger and got myself worked up about such things. These days i wouldn't be bothered at all as long as i knew they were a good friend.

    Its like Valentines day - if a partner does something for you just because they love you (dinner, flowers, chocolate) its more meaningful and special than when they do it because the calendar date demands it.

    You have a good friend who took you out for a special night because they care about you - treasure that and and don't forget the actual day means nothing, its the sentiment behind the day thats important and she didn't forget that.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 13,717
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    She took you out at the weekend for your birthday at her expense, & I think she may not have realised that you expected a text on top of that - it would have been nice to get one, but it's not like you hadn't seen her already in relation to your birthday. I'd make sure you answer her next call, or better still phone her yourself. Good friends are hard to find, but easy to lose. :)
  • PsychosisPsychosis Posts: 18,591
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    Does she KNOW it's a big deal to you and that you'd be this upset if she didn't call?

    I never call my friends on their birthdays, and they rarely call me. We just don't care or have any real interest in celebrating birthdays - and we're in our twenties, so it's not a case of being afraid of our old age! :D

    I agree with the comment someone else made about Valentines day... things should happen because people really mean them, not because they feel obligated to on a particular date.
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