How honest are you in friendships?
frisky python
Posts: 9,737 Forum Member
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I've had a rather emotional two weeks with a close friendship. Basically I was not honest how I felt about something, tried to brush it all under the carpet and ignore it, then it all came to a head and we had a fall out (for which I apologised). I wasn't honest because I thought telling the truth would hurt both my friend and I. I am currently receiving therapy over depression and anxiety, which I have had for many years and I find I am extremely emotional and when things get tough I do have suicidal thoughts. :-/
So, are you honest with your friends? Do you find it easy to be honest or is it hard work and like walking a tightrope?
So, are you honest with your friends? Do you find it easy to be honest or is it hard work and like walking a tightrope?
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I'm fairly honest. It all depends on the context and type of friendship. Sometimes a white lie is best, other times brutal honesty is best. With my very close friends, it is extremely easy to always be honest. I'm so honest with them that it borders on insulting.
You may not especially get on with a friends partner, but what would be the use in saying that if it doesn't affect your relationship with them?
Similarly, you may not like their carpet, but admitting to that isn't really about honesty, more personal taste.
If, however, you've been lying about summat big, such as being a mass murderer, then that's an issue.
To most people it wouldn't even register to be honest. My husband thinks it's nothing, but then he's a bloke and he sees things in a very different way.
I did think about Advice, but as I really don't want to put what happened out "there" I decided to ask about honesty in friendships as a general thing instead. Whether it's just me that finds it difficult and it's easy for everyone else.
And as I said, I have anxiety and depression which really makes things difficult, so yes there is a lot more going on, for me at least.
So I don't plan to change anytime soon. People know I will be honest, if they don't want to hear it, they probably don't ask me and go to someone else.
This is the difficulty. I've been told I should've been honest but I've observed that friends wanting honesty are not always honest themselves about feelings or situations, or don't really like the honest response. I'm finding it a minefield, I don't really want to fall out with anyone. I did once and the fall out affected my family hugely so I'm kind of at pains to avoid it.
Honest most of the time, with diplomacy when required.
In other words, I'll tell them if I think the guy/girl they've just started seeing is a a$$hole, but I don't usually feel the need to tell them that their baby looks like an angry pink potato.
Same here - but it depends on how close I am to that person and how much I care about them. If I'm not close and aren't that bothered, I'll tell them pretty much what they want to hear, as long as it is still being honest. Most people only want "honesty" if it is flattering to them and doesn't challenge them
There was a close friend I used to play cricket with. When I criticised another team member he wouldn't say anything. He never said anything bad about anyone. He's gone now.
I aspire to be more like him.
I am guarded even if they are close to me. I feel alot more safer in an armour suit than to trust another human being. I am honest and do have a tendency to blurt out things.