What dodgy stuff goes on in your workplace?

Martin Blank · 15/03/13 - 20:52

Perhaps you knowingly doctor measurment reports for parts you supply to customers. Maybe you chuck a bit of horse meat in with the beef products. Could it be you've put the wrong body in a coffin and watched a burial knowing that it's not the right person? Maybe you just have a complete disregard for health and safety.

It stemmed from a discussion I was having with a work colleague about stuff that probably goes on in 'reputable' businesses around the country that people just don't realise happens. Like the 'lips tips and hooves' that go into all the reformed meat / kebabs - could some underworld gangsters be slipping in a finger or 2? Who's to know?

Think of this thread as an amnesty / venting excercise for those that either knowingly...or against their better judgement...get up to some unscrupulous acts in their 9 to 5.

sweh · 15/03/13 - 20:53

Are you asking me to become a whistleblower? Never! I'm not a grass. :mad:

Nothing exciting... I saw someone steal a pen.

decobelle · 15/03/13 - 20:55

My trainee is also an Ann Summers rep and spends a lot of time flogging this stuff when she's supposed to be working (we are not affiliated with Ann Summers in any way), She thinks I don't know, but to be honest I don't really have enough work that she is capable of doing so I let it slide...for now

RogerBailey · 15/03/13 - 20:56

You would not believe it.

In fact I would not be exaggerating to say it would make the front page of the papers of half the stuff was told.

Bluray · 15/03/13 - 20:58

Back in the 80s when I worked at a Wimpy bar we had to take it in turns to sit out of the way and pick bits of mould out of burger buns so the manageress cut down on her loss following her crap ordering.
True story.

Yera · 15/03/13 - 20:59

My boss is supposed to have one of the board of directors co sign on cheques and letters and sometimes she just forges his signature - also she drinks at work ( miniature wine bottles!!!) and thinks we don't notice!!!!
I am taking a career break but my colleagues tell me she is still at it :eek:

annette kurten · 15/03/13 - 21:00

i used to get pissed behind the bar, give my friends free drink and snort off the safe with the boss.

edit: and rob money and drink.

in my defence i was very high.

ic · 15/03/13 - 21:13

affairs,theft,fraud,corruption .Just the usual things that go on in an everyday global company .

[Deleted User] · 15/03/13 - 21:14

Only me and my boss here. Worst thing happened waas I found a load of pictures of his nob on my computer. I have never been able to look at him in the same way.

Mrs Mackintosh · 15/03/13 - 21:21

In my role as a Learning Assisant I'm supposed to support children with audited hours. The most hours any child can be awarded is 5 per week. Some of the children I'm supposed to be supporting are lucky if they get an hour a week with a one to one LA. The school seem to take it that if you're in the class with the child, that's somehow fulfilling the remit. It most certainly isn't. If I was unfortunate enough to have a child who warranted 5 hours learning support a week I'd be furious if the support was being used elsewhere.

Mrs Mackintosh · 15/03/13 - 21:21

ladymoanalot wrote: »

Only me and my boss here. Worst thing happened waas I found a load of pictures of his nob on my computer. I have never been able to look at him in the same way.

That's hilarious.:D

[Deleted User] · 15/03/13 - 21:22

Mrs Mackintosh wrote: »

That's hilarious.:D

Really disturbing thing was, these pictures were taken whilst I was away working with him. He had been snapping himself in different positions in his hotel room:D

Yera · 15/03/13 - 21:22

ladymoanalot wrote: »

Only me and my boss here. Worst thing happened waas I found a load of pictures of his nob on my computer. I have never been able to look at him in the same way.

That would freak me out!!! :eek:

Mrs Mackintosh · 15/03/13 - 21:23

My Dad worked in a crematorium and he said what went on there was really disturbing.

Auntie Climax · 15/03/13 - 21:32

Something went missing once. Just after I started there. It wasn't me, but I bet they think it was.

Bedsit Bob · 15/03/13 - 21:35

Work, and I do my best to dodge it.

I have a friend who used to work for a Funeral Director, and he tells me the wrong body in a coffin does happen, from time to time.

Indeed, one of his colleagues lost his job, over just such an incident.

Watcher #1 · 15/03/13 - 21:41

People on forums when they should be working...:o

klaxonman · 15/03/13 - 21:44

The worst thing I can think of off the top of my head at the moment is when we get reminders to complete online training/awareness courses by a certain date, some people, (especially me!

) simply ignore the reminders and let the deadline slip. I've done so before, quite recently actually, and the issue hasn't yet been chased up!

Porcupine · 15/03/13 - 22:07

In an old job of mine we used to surf the porn sites a lot ... and blame the owners son when it was discovered.

I have also been known to forge one of my bosses signatures. I have signed for all sorts of things, including winding down an old company.

[Deleted User] · 15/03/13 - 22:10

Mrs Mackintosh wrote: »

My Dad worked in a crematorium and he said what went on there was really disturbing.

Did he used to climb into the coffins and burst out of them dressed as a corpse shouting BOO!

klaxonman · 15/03/13 - 22:12

Porcupine wrote: »

In an old job of mine we used to surf the porn sites a lot ... and blame the owners son when it was discovered.

I have also been known to forge one of my bosses signatures. I have signed for all sorts of things, including winding down an old company.

Does that company no longer exist anymore? :eek::D

GeoBa92 wrote: »

Did he used to climb into the coffins and burst out of them dressed as a corpse shouting BOO!

I was thinking more sexual type of things!

Porcupine · 15/03/13 - 22:14

klaxonman wrote: »

Does that company no longer exist anymore? :eek::D

Nope. I keep telling my bosses that if I end up doing 5-10 in the pen ... they had better visit me.

Paul_DNAP · 15/03/13 - 22:17

In my old job we had to do a regular online training for US anti-trust laws (bribery etc.) - I spent one afternoon going through it eight or nine times logged in as different people - including the HR manager - as I was the only one to make a note of the assessment answers from the previous years

silversox · 15/03/13 - 22:43

We're a very small on-line radio station with only a few staff. They're always playing practical jokes on one another. I have to check everything in my office before I sit down. Worst scenario is when they put a horrendous picture on my desktop when my back is turned! It's been quiet this week so boss has joined me watching Cheltenham races!!

Can anyone tell me how 4 blokes and 1 girl can use 5 toilet rolls overnight? :eek:

Mrs Mackintosh · 15/03/13 - 22:46

GeoBa92 wrote: »

Did he used to climb into the coffins and burst out of them dressed as a corpse shouting BOO!

I wouldn't put that past my Dad for a minute!

klaxonman wrote: »

I was thinking more sexual type of things!

God no. My old man was very straightforward regarding that kind of thing.

RandomSally · 15/03/13 - 22:47

silversox wrote: »

We're a very small on-line radio station with only a few staff. They're always playing practical jokes on one another. I have to check everything in my office before I sit down. Worst scenario is when they put a horrendous picture on my desktop when my back is turned! It's been quiet this week so boss has joined me watching Cheltenham races!!

Can anyone tell me how 4 blokes and 1 girl can use 5 toilet rolls overnight? :eek:

They're taking them home.

Hey there!

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