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What's your opinion of Health Visitors?
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Are they a useful resource or a waste of space? Have I just been unlucky with my allocated Health Visitor?
She's a bit wishy washy and wet but also doesn't listen to the answer when she asks me a question. You get the impression that she's already made up her mind before she's heard what we have to say.
Hubby can't abide her and gets really cross that we have to see her so frequently.
At her 6 week weigh in Baby*Bex* had gained 9oz (more than half a pound) in 2 weeks. HV looked all concerned saying it wasn't enough.
My daughter is quite a sicky baby and the HV immediately suggested that the problem might need treating with medicine - I asked the doctor who said it was perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.
At 6 weeks old she also has a weepy tummy button. The HV was going on about infections and all sorts, and getting me really worried. When we saw the practice nurse to get it looked at and treated she explained that there was no problem as such and it was more or less a cosmetic issue to stop her having an 'outie'. She was surprised when I told her what the HV had said.
By the end of that visit, I was basically left feeling as though she suspected hubby and I of neglecting our child and I was really upset. Hubby says I should ignore everything she says as so far its all been discredited by other health professionals...
So - Have other people found their Health Visitors to be like this or am I just unlucky?
She's a bit wishy washy and wet but also doesn't listen to the answer when she asks me a question. You get the impression that she's already made up her mind before she's heard what we have to say.
Hubby can't abide her and gets really cross that we have to see her so frequently.
At her 6 week weigh in Baby*Bex* had gained 9oz (more than half a pound) in 2 weeks. HV looked all concerned saying it wasn't enough.
My daughter is quite a sicky baby and the HV immediately suggested that the problem might need treating with medicine - I asked the doctor who said it was perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.
At 6 weeks old she also has a weepy tummy button. The HV was going on about infections and all sorts, and getting me really worried. When we saw the practice nurse to get it looked at and treated she explained that there was no problem as such and it was more or less a cosmetic issue to stop her having an 'outie'. She was surprised when I told her what the HV had said.
By the end of that visit, I was basically left feeling as though she suspected hubby and I of neglecting our child and I was really upset. Hubby says I should ignore everything she says as so far its all been discredited by other health professionals...
So - Have other people found their Health Visitors to be like this or am I just unlucky?
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I think you probably just got a bad one.
poor you bex - i think you have been really unlucky. our hv in 2 areas have been great. really helpful and non judgemental. do you have more than one hv in your local practice? cos you can ask to see the other one if you do, and be assigned to them if you feel its more appropriate. i'd also pop a wee letter off to the practice manager detailing how she's made you feel - you should feel happy and confident with your hv, especially as at this stage they are your main medical contact woth baby. good luck, and from what you say, i'd say you're doing a great job as a mummy
*for charming, read arrogant, rude, self-opinionated, uncaring git that would not listen to anything we had to say.
Hang on in there Bex, I'm sure baby Bex is 100% fine and that you are doing a fantastic job
I believe a baby from birth should be gaining about 5 - 7 ounces a week if breastfed - are you?, if not maybe a little less. However, if your babys been a bit sickly, he/she will lose then gain and continue like that a bit until he/she stabilisers. Sheer common sense really.
Dont let this hv second guess your own maternal instincts. Who is she afterall??!!??
I understand from one the coffee morning mum's who sees the other HV from our surgery that she is just as bad, Its shame because the GPs are all wonderful.
I know I should make a complaint like Jessica suggested but I'm concerned she'll know it came from me.
We don't have to go to our own HV for weigh-ins though - I've been to one of the others once and they seemed much nicer, so I might start getting her done there instead.
I know you're right - she's definitely growing - all her clothes are getting a bit short - and she looks pink and healthy, so I don't know why I let it get to me but it does.
She is breast fed with formula top-ups due to her low birth-weight and I understand the weight gain per week is supposed to be between 4 and 7oz, so she was inside the parameters but our HV is obessed with pointing out her position on the chart, so it makes me feel bad when she drops below the bottom line. As you say though lots of factors can affect weekly weight gain and in the 2 days prior to the weigh-in she'd pooed quite a bit more than usual (!) which I suspect had an impact. Plus, she's an alert and active baby so when she's not sleeping, she's quite often awake and kicking her legs and peering about, so she burns more energy than a baby who just feeds and sleeps.
I explained all this but she seemed to let it go over her head and was still warning us that she had to stay above the line in the chart.
Its like, I'm well aware of that but I can't force bloody feed her can I?! I feed her when she demands it; which is frequently!
You could tell she wasn't listening and I'm fairly sure you could tell I was upset by the situation. I just feel like she has this really benign annoying voice which allows her to be accusatory and rude because no one expects it from people like that.
I have never had faith in them, even though I worked with health visitors a lot. I have to say that IMO there are very few around that really do know what they are talking about.
With all of my eldest three I had problems with HVs. My 3 were born at a good weight but always put it on slowly and were small children. That is just the way they are. I really fought to prevent being refered to paeds and clinics and allsorts. Mums do know their own babies best and if you are happy that baby is gaining weight, growing, happy and healthy then I would just take her to the drop in clinics for weighing etc and to discuss any other issues or questions you have.
With my youngest I have not seen a health visitor outside of getting her weighed at the clinic a couple of times, since she was 6 weeks old and she is 2 next month
edit they are 4 & 9
Mind you at least you have one. In the states you are sent home from hospital and that is it you are on your own. My daughter keeps asking me things and I haven't a clue as it is so long ago which reminds me I will pm you with a question (if you don't mind) which you might know the answer to!
Anyway hang on in there and am damm sure Imogen is doing fine
I'm glad its not just me being sensitive! I would like to know of other people's experiences with HV's though - so please keep the comments coming!!
Absolutely - go ahead and drop me a line and hopefully I'll know the answer!
I didn't get time to reply to you before, but I'm glad you enjoyed your time with your girls over in Boston - it must have been so exciting to meet Rose
From my experience this is a prerequisite for being a HV!
I have three children and have been visited by about ten different ones (for some reason they don't seem to hang around for long) and I've only met one who was actually any help! Unfortunately the one our surgery has at the moment is a total drip and I've had many a disagreement with her in the past. One of the ladies at mother and baby banned her from her home last week. Try not to worry too much. I'm sure your daughter will be fine.
By the way congratulations!
EXACTLY!! That's daughter to a tee! She eats every 2- 3 hours (longer at night thank god) and she eats for bloody England but she's long and slender like her daddy. She is not a 'cuddly bundle' and is several inches longer than one f the girls in our baby group whis a day older and nearly 3lbs heavier!
Am so glad I posted this as I feel so much better
Nice thing about skinny babies is that they fit the cheap clothes in pound shops. Although if you're not cheap, like me, then you might find the fact that they don't fit the clothes for square babies as sold in M&S. And that goes double for cheap school uniforms, so enjoy that too when you get here.
Funnily enough, now she's grown up, she's short and curvy - who'd have thought it?
A couple of years (and another baby later) I was due to go into hospital for an operation on a disfigurement. My doctor had arranged that a childminder would look after the children until I was well enough to care for them again (with the childminder still helping). The HV came to say that she couldn't see why I couldn't wait until the children were older until I had the op. When I'd been out of hospital a few days she came to visit me but I wasn't in. In her report, she put down that I'd gone shopping and in her opinion was wasting and abusing the help I'd been given. This, is spite of the fact that the childminder had told her I'd gone back to hospital to have my stitches taken out!
I didn't see her after that. Then when my child was having a school medical I was given his medical report to read (including the above info) and I was appalled. Nothing but criticism and lies.
I rang my surgery to complain and was informed that she'd emigrated to Australia.
Wise move!
EDIT To the OP. go along with your gut instinct and you'll be fine. Good luck
The best 'advice' I ever had was when I rang to query a rash and rather severe cold like symptoms and asked if I could pop in to get someone to have a look (I have a local team of HV and nursery nurses who work round here so not one in particular). They were all busy and I was basically fobbed off - bearing in mind this was my third so I'd seen more or less most childhood illnesses and stuff yet it was enough to concern me. I rang my doctor, explained the situation to the receptionist and within 20 minutes had nipped to the surgery and been reassured that it was nothing to worry about.
I also had a health visitor a few years ago who did a hearing test on my middle son - my husband had taken him into the room because I had a doc's appointment at the same time. She told him afterwards the results very briefly - then came into the waiting room to me and explained it all in far greater detail, presumably daddy wouldn't have understood the information :rolleyes:
It's so much better when they start school and get handed over to the school nurse
Baby Clinic is between 11-12 in my local surgery. At one point my baby used to wake up really late so it was always pushing it to get there on time. I got there at 11.55 once - within the time I thought! But no, I was told I was too late, so I phoned the health visitor and complained. She let me bring the baby in to be weighed but told me I'd have to be there by 11.45 in future.
I've been annoyed with them ever since and they're quite p!ssy with me no whenever I go, which as a result isn't very often.
We just went along with them as I didn't realise at the time I could have just said no thanks . But I suppose even had I known I would still have carried on with it as I had no reason to find it a problem.
Ours was also a single childless woman and I did sometimes have to hold my tongue a bit when she would tell me things about what it felt like having a baby in the house . I often felt that everything was textbook to her , and she didn't take into account that the parents did have a lot better idea of what was normal for their own baby, I think even new mum's know best when to be worried .
Like Collette above , I learned to nod and smile and say thanks for calling .
She just trotted out whatever was the 'official' opinion at the time. if I ever asked why or for what reason, I was just told t'thats what we recommend'. If I ever disagreed with the 'recommended advice' she just went 'oh thats fine'.
Tbh, I only went for my fortnightly visits while I was on ML to give me motivation to get my backside up and dressed in the morning. Since I've been back at work, I haven't seen her at all as the clinic only runs from 10.30 to 12 every other Tuesday.