I'm not surprised about the age thing but I would've thought it was harder for gay couples to adopt than straight ones. But if not, then it was their ages that went against them. I'm sure I read somewhere that they'd wanted to adopt from Uganda or somewhere like that.
As a gay couple, I think they'd have had probs adopting from an African country, even with their influence.... also, it would have made the news and probably caused all sorts of media uproar. I imagine that would have been a factor in their decision to go with surrogacy which they knew they could keep private.
Congratulations to them. I wish them all the best and are so happy for them. Usually I'm all for adoption over surrogacy. But I think people are missing one important factor. Elton has a past history of drug use. A lot of straight people have not been able to adopt if they have been involved with drugs in the past even though they are totally clean now. When you adopt, they go over everything in your past. It's not fair how they don't give people a chance to change but hold things from the past against them in adoptions, but it's the way it is. I doubt Elton would be able to adopt even in places where gay couple adoptions are allowed.
Madonna was granted adoptions but she has no past history of drug use.
It caused an uproar in the States when Neil Patrick Harris and his partner, chef David Burtka, became "parents" of twins born by surrogacy!!!!
It caused an uproar in the USA during the 90s when Melissa Etheridge and her then lesbian partner became "parents" and when middle-aged folk-rock singer David Crosby, no less was the sperm donor!!
And the same goes for comedian/TV personality Rosie O'Donnell and her then lesbian partner became foster "parents" to kids!!!
I honestly can't believe some people's views on this thread. It's the 21st century and people are posting with such negative comments. As long as the baby is loved and cared for it doesn't matter that Elton and David are homosexual.
I'm 19 and gay and some day I may want children and just because of my sexuality it doesn't mean I should miss out on that chance and I hope when that time comes there are none of this homophobic views about.
It caused an uproar in the States when Neil Patrick Harris and his partner, chef David Burtka, became "parents" of twins born by surrogacy!!!!
It caused an uproar in the USA during the 90s when Melissa Etheridge and her then lesbian partner became "parents" and when middle-aged folk-rock singer David Crosby, no less was the sperm donor!!
And the same goes for comedian/TV personality Rosie O'Donnell and her then lesbian partner became foster "parents" to kids!!!
Actually it didn't. I used to live in the US and yes, those were covered by the media but there wasn't a huge uproar. Yes, of course, there were a few homophobic people ranting and raving, but the vast majority of people were happy for them and accepted those things. Why are you putting parents in quotes? Rosie and Melissa are real parents as much as straight parents who have kids through sex.
In fact, when gay people become parents it leads to more acceptance of them because then they have something in common with straight people. Straight people can identify with gay people who are parents much more easily than drag queens going out to clubs every night. When straight people see gay people as just like them with the usual kids problems and issues, they accept them more easily.
cant belive people are saying congratulations. children are meant to have a mother and father,not two fathers. its terrible this child will grow up thinking that he has a normal life.
What I am trying to say in my last post is, all these gay and lesbian couples seem to think that they can have their cake and eat it too and they want the best of both worlds, when in reality MORALLY THEY CANT!!!! They cant live their alternative lifestyles and yet want things that normal couples can have like kids!!!!!:mad::mad:
I honestly can't believe some people's views on this thread. It's the 21st century and people are posting with such negative comments. As long as the baby is loved and cared for it doesn't matter that Elton and David are homosexual.
I'm 19 and gay and some day I may want children and just because of my sexuality it doesn't mean I should miss out on that chance and I hope when that time comes there are none of this homophobic views about.
You might only be 19 but your post shows more maturity than some people who are twice your age.
If you want children, I hope you get your wish one day. Take no notice of what the vocal minority say and live your life in a way that makes you happy. Most people will be happy for you and those who aren't really don't matter.
Maybe they will go on a delightful gay camping holiday with Neil Patrick Harris(How I Met Your Mother) and his gay partner, David Burtka, and their twins!!!:D:D:D:D
What a sick world we live in!!!!:mad::mad::mad:
Indeed it's awful. But obviously your parents did a fantastic job.
Personally, I consider world hunger, the threat of nuclear war and the potential financial ruin of our country to be a more pressing concern than two men who can provide a loving, comfortable upbringing for a child.
What I am trying to say in my last post is, all these gay and lesbian couples seem to think that they can have their cake and eat it too and they want the best of both worlds, when in reality MORALLY THEY CANT!!!! They cant live their alternative lifestyles and yet want things that normal couples can have like kids!!!!!:mad::mad:
So gay couples are not normal couples then? Your choice of words speaks volumes about your hideous bigotted views.
Grow up and get with the modern world love. Us gays are as normal as you are and have the same rights - deal with it
What I am trying to say in my last post is, all these gay and lesbian couples seem to think that they can have their cake and eat it too and they want the best of both worlds, when in reality MORALLY THEY CANT!!!! They cant live their alternative lifestyles and yet want things that normal couples can have like kids!!!!!:mad::mad:
What about people who are in heterosexual marriages and are closeted but have kids. If they come out of the closet and get divorced, should they lose their kids?
Gay people have always had kids, but in the past they had to live a lie and pretend to be straight to have a family. But now they can do it openly. These fake marriages caused a lot of suffering for the other non-gay partner. Thank God gay people can have children now which is a natural human desire, but don't have to live a lie anymore.
I honestly can't believe some people's views on this thread. It's the 21st century and people are posting with such negative comments. As long as the baby is loved and cared for it doesn't matter that Elton and David are homosexual.
I'm 19 and gay and some day I may want children and just because of my sexuality it doesn't mean I should miss out on that chance and I hope when that time comes there are none of this homophobic views about.
You might only be 19 but your post shows more maturity than some people who are twice your age.
If you want children, I hope you get your wish one day. Take no notice of what the vocal minority say and live your life in a way that makes you happy. Most people will be happy for you and those who aren't really don't matter.
Ditto what Blondie said so well. This thread really depresses me. I really thought people were past this ignorant and petty begrudging shit.
You might only be 19 but your post shows more maturity than some people who are twice your age.
If you want children, I hope you get your wish one day. Take no notice of what the vocal minority say and live your life in a way that makes you happy. Most people will be happy for you and those who aren't really don't matter.
Actually that's just selfish, not mature. Personal fulfillment has to be balanced against other people's needs. I too hope Terry is able to father children, whether by adoption, fostering or a shared parenting arrangement, if that is his desire. But I also think that the child has rights too - for example, to have an on-going relationship with his or her biological mother if it is safe for him/her to do so. Commercial surrogacy arrangements seldom provide for that. Terry asks why should he be deprived of his 'right' to be a father because of his sexuality but the child also has a right to ask why should he be deprived of his mother at the whims of adults.
cant belive people are saying congratulations. children are meant to have a mother and father,not two fathers. its terrible this child will grow up thinking that he has a normal life.
What exactly is a normal life? One where a man meets a woman, then fall in love, get married and have 2.4 kids and a labrador. The man works hard at his job and the woman keeps house. The kids are perfect in every way and never experience bullying or any of the harsh realities of life and grow up into emotionally happy adults who go on to fall in love and have kids of their own. Their parents make great grandparents. They live a long and fullfilled life and one night, they both die in their sleep in each others arms.
This would be lovely if it was possible but it's not. There is no such thing as a "normal" life. I am one of eight kids which is stange to some but perfectly normal to me. Normal is whatever you grow up knowing and as long as this child is in a loving stable environment he will do fine, that is as long as he doesn't meet people who tell him otherwise. Even then, as long as he has a good support network, he'll more than likely have the self assurance to tell them to get stuffed and mind their own business
What about men that are single dads? Simon Carr seemed to do okay by his sons once his wife died from cancer. Jeff Brazier seems to be doing well by his sons after Jade's sad and far too untimely death from cancer.
A few of my peers were raised by their dads after their mothers walked out on them. They aren't criminals. When I had to leave my son for work reasons for 6 months, my husband coped very well as a temporary single dad.
Elton and David aren't so-called fathers, they are Zach's dads. They wanted him and will love and raise him well.
What about the biological mother in this case, it's as if she does not exist or does not have love or emotions.
If it's the norm to carry a child and then give it away, why would the mother need counselling?
I'm sure the child will be brought up in a loving environment but there is no guarantee how he will react to learning the circumstances surrounding his birth.
It's not as though the child was born in a loving relationship and for whatever reason the mother reluctanly gave up the child so it could have a better life.
I suspect Elton and his partner will be upfront with the child and may even involve the mother in the child's upbringing and they live happily ever after.
Actually that's just selfish, not mature. Personal fulfillment has to be balanced against other people's needs. I too hope Terry is able to father children, whether by adoption, fostering or a shared parenting arrangement, if that is his desire. But I also think that the child has rights too - for example, to have an on-going relationship with his or her biological mother if it is safe for him/her to do so. Commercial surrogacy arrangements seldom provide for that. Terry asks why should he be deprived of his 'right' to be a father because of his sexuality but the child also has a right to ask why should he be deprived of his mother at the whims of adults.
But what if the biological mother doesn't want to have a relationship with these children. If she agrees to give up right to the child, then that is the end of it. Now if the mother doesn't want to give up her rights, then the child should be able to see the child at a later age as in some adoptions. Being a mother or a father isn't about biology, it's about love.
What I am trying to say in my last post is, all these gay and lesbian couples seem to think that they can have their cake and eat it too and they want the best of both worlds, when in reality MORALLY THEY CANT!!!! They cant live their alternative lifestyles and yet want things that normal couples can have like kids!!!!!:mad::mad:
i cant make out whether you are actually being serious or not?
and what on earth is an 'alternative lifestyle'. and what is a 'normal couple' ?
Actually that's just selfish, not mature. Personal fulfillment has to be balanced against other people's needs. I too hope Terry is able to father children, whether by adoption, fostering or a shared parenting arrangement, if that is his desire. But I also think that the child has rights too - for example, to have an on-going relationship with his or her biological mother if it is safe for him/her to do so. Commercial surrogacy arrangements seldom provide for that. Terry asks why should he be deprived of his 'right' to be a father because of his sexuality but the child also has a right to ask why should he be deprived of his mother at the whims of adults.
Well I'm not going to get into an online argument about a situation which might never happen but I stand by what I said. You owe it to yourself to live your life in a way that makes you happy. Obviously, you do what you can not to hurt anyone else along the way but why should anyone live their life worrying about people who don't mean a thing to them and what they think?
There have been comments on this thread an others about having a child out of wedlock. Now, as a woman who has a daughter with my long term partner but thinks marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, why should I even listen to people I don't know who choose to judge me by some random criteria? That's how I'll live my life and that's how i would tell Terry, and anyone else, how to live theirs.
i cant make out whether you are actually being serious or not?
and what on earth is an 'alternative lifestyle'. and what is a 'normal couple' ?
Yes, what is an alternative life style? When I hear alternative lifestyle, I don't think gay. I think subcultures like goth or metalheads, who can be any sexual orientation.
Just to add here
......... and there biggest sacrifice for their choice has to be the fact they cannot have children in what is perceived as the normal way.
Their choice?
And please answer me this - when did you "choose" to become a (bigoted) heterosexual?
What I am trying to say in my last post is, all these gay and lesbian couples seem to think that they can have their cake and eat it too and they want the best of both worlds, when in reality MORALLY THEY CANT!!!! They cant live their alternative lifestyles and yet want things that normal couples can have like kids!!!!!:mad::mad:
:eek:
What, pray tell, is so immoral about falling in love with someone and wanting to start a family with them?
I'm sure the child will be brought up in a loving environment but there is no guarantee how he will react to learning the circumstances surrounding his birth.
Exactly. There is no guarantee to how any child will react to the environment they are brought up in. There are plenty of people who were raised by blood heterosexual parents who have nothing to do with their parents or who spend years in therapy trying to undo the damage caused by their parents. Social services is over ran with children who were born to couples who made absolute ****s of parents.
The only person who's opinion really matters is far too young to care what any of us here think. For all we know, he could turn out really well or he could turn into a fame hungry tabloid fodder ****, not because he is suffering any emotional tramua connected with how he was born but because he got too much love and affection, is spoiled and entitled and wants to be the latest "it" celeb
Comments
As a gay couple, I think they'd have had probs adopting from an African country, even with their influence.... also, it would have made the news and probably caused all sorts of media uproar. I imagine that would have been a factor in their decision to go with surrogacy which they knew they could keep private.
Madonna was granted adoptions but she has no past history of drug use.
It caused an uproar in the USA during the 90s when Melissa Etheridge and her then lesbian partner became "parents" and when middle-aged folk-rock singer David Crosby, no less was the sperm donor!!
And the same goes for comedian/TV personality Rosie O'Donnell and her then lesbian partner became foster "parents" to kids!!!
I honestly can't believe some people's views on this thread. It's the 21st century and people are posting with such negative comments. As long as the baby is loved and cared for it doesn't matter that Elton and David are homosexual.
I'm 19 and gay and some day I may want children and just because of my sexuality it doesn't mean I should miss out on that chance and I hope when that time comes there are none of this homophobic views about.
Actually it didn't. I used to live in the US and yes, those were covered by the media but there wasn't a huge uproar. Yes, of course, there were a few homophobic people ranting and raving, but the vast majority of people were happy for them and accepted those things. Why are you putting parents in quotes? Rosie and Melissa are real parents as much as straight parents who have kids through sex.
In fact, when gay people become parents it leads to more acceptance of them because then they have something in common with straight people. Straight people can identify with gay people who are parents much more easily than drag queens going out to clubs every night. When straight people see gay people as just like them with the usual kids problems and issues, they accept them more easily.
You might only be 19 but your post shows more maturity than some people who are twice your age.
If you want children, I hope you get your wish one day. Take no notice of what the vocal minority say and live your life in a way that makes you happy. Most people will be happy for you and those who aren't really don't matter.
Indeed it's awful. But obviously your parents did a fantastic job.
Personally, I consider world hunger, the threat of nuclear war and the potential financial ruin of our country to be a more pressing concern than two men who can provide a loving, comfortable upbringing for a child.
So gay couples are not normal couples then? Your choice of words speaks volumes about your hideous bigotted views.
Grow up and get with the modern world love. Us gays are as normal as you are and have the same rights - deal with it
What about people who are in heterosexual marriages and are closeted but have kids. If they come out of the closet and get divorced, should they lose their kids?
Gay people have always had kids, but in the past they had to live a lie and pretend to be straight to have a family. But now they can do it openly. These fake marriages caused a lot of suffering for the other non-gay partner. Thank God gay people can have children now which is a natural human desire, but don't have to live a lie anymore.
Ditto what Blondie said so well. This thread really depresses me. I really thought people were past this ignorant and petty begrudging shit.
Actually that's just selfish, not mature. Personal fulfillment has to be balanced against other people's needs. I too hope Terry is able to father children, whether by adoption, fostering or a shared parenting arrangement, if that is his desire. But I also think that the child has rights too - for example, to have an on-going relationship with his or her biological mother if it is safe for him/her to do so. Commercial surrogacy arrangements seldom provide for that. Terry asks why should he be deprived of his 'right' to be a father because of his sexuality but the child also has a right to ask why should he be deprived of his mother at the whims of adults.
This would be lovely if it was possible but it's not. There is no such thing as a "normal" life. I am one of eight kids which is stange to some but perfectly normal to me. Normal is whatever you grow up knowing and as long as this child is in a loving stable environment he will do fine, that is as long as he doesn't meet people who tell him otherwise. Even then, as long as he has a good support network, he'll more than likely have the self assurance to tell them to get stuffed and mind their own business
What about the biological mother in this case, it's as if she does not exist or does not have love or emotions.
If it's the norm to carry a child and then give it away, why would the mother need counselling?
I'm sure the child will be brought up in a loving environment but there is no guarantee how he will react to learning the circumstances surrounding his birth.
It's not as though the child was born in a loving relationship and for whatever reason the mother reluctanly gave up the child so it could have a better life.
I suspect Elton and his partner will be upfront with the child and may even involve the mother in the child's upbringing and they live happily ever after.
But what if the biological mother doesn't want to have a relationship with these children. If she agrees to give up right to the child, then that is the end of it. Now if the mother doesn't want to give up her rights, then the child should be able to see the child at a later age as in some adoptions. Being a mother or a father isn't about biology, it's about love.
i cant make out whether you are actually being serious or not?
and what on earth is an 'alternative lifestyle'. and what is a 'normal couple' ?
Well I'm not going to get into an online argument about a situation which might never happen but I stand by what I said. You owe it to yourself to live your life in a way that makes you happy. Obviously, you do what you can not to hurt anyone else along the way but why should anyone live their life worrying about people who don't mean a thing to them and what they think?
There have been comments on this thread an others about having a child out of wedlock. Now, as a woman who has a daughter with my long term partner but thinks marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, why should I even listen to people I don't know who choose to judge me by some random criteria? That's how I'll live my life and that's how i would tell Terry, and anyone else, how to live theirs.
Yes, what is an alternative life style? When I hear alternative lifestyle, I don't think gay. I think subcultures like goth or metalheads, who can be any sexual orientation.
Their choice?
And please answer me this - when did you "choose" to become a (bigoted) heterosexual?
Oh, you should see some of the threads in GD about IVF. There are a lot of perfect people on DS who love to judge from their ivory towers.
:eek:
What, pray tell, is so immoral about falling in love with someone and wanting to start a family with them?
Exactly. There is no guarantee to how any child will react to the environment they are brought up in. There are plenty of people who were raised by blood heterosexual parents who have nothing to do with their parents or who spend years in therapy trying to undo the damage caused by their parents. Social services is over ran with children who were born to couples who made absolute ****s of parents.
The only person who's opinion really matters is far too young to care what any of us here think. For all we know, he could turn out really well or he could turn into a fame hungry tabloid fodder ****, not because he is suffering any emotional tramua connected with how he was born but because he got too much love and affection, is spoiled and entitled and wants to be the latest "it" celeb
Just because my opinion is different to yours you say im a bigot
I am entitled to mine as you are yours and i dont call names so get over it ok?