I told my mum back in Feburay. She was fine about it for the first week, then promptly ignored and dismissed it. She even went as far as to say that it was people on the internet putting thoughts into my head :eek:
It's hugely embarrassing, so I don't bring it up now.
It is your own fault for going on the internets, many folks have turned gay from doing that, just look at DS and at people like Chris Moyles and Richard Allinson (now an item). :eek:
It is your own fault for going on the internets, many folks have turned gay from doing that, just look at DS and at people like Chris Moyles and Richard Allinson (now an item). :eek:
The internet isn't so bad. It's made me an expert on absolutelty everything It's a bit odd though because everyone else seems to be an expert as well, yet we can't agree on anything?
It is your own fault for going on the internets, many folks have turned gay from doing that, just look at DS and at people like Chris Moyles and Richard Allinson (now an item). :eek:
The internet isn't so bad. It's made me an expert on absolutelty everything It's a bit odd though because everyone else seems to be an expert as well, yet we can't agree on anything?
It just goes to show, don't believe everything you read on the intarwebz
just put this story in another thread so will copy and paste it here...
...our son was terrified to tell us..no idea why though but think it's just that fear that you'll not be loved by the people u expect to love u..so when he did get round to telling me first I laughed and said jokingly 'oh is that it..I'd be more worried if u were on drugs' and then told my husband 'our son is gay' and he said 'tell me something I don't know' and me saying 'no..he's telling us'..never stopped us once loving him..so what I'm saying is that it's just as scary to tell your parents when u know they'll be ok with it ....
this was years ago now as he's 21 now (think he was 16 at the time) and we still love him just as much..he is our son and nothing will change that..his brother actually gets on with him more now than they ever did (years of sharing a room and being the younger picked on brother) and that was after the oldest moved to his own place..his sister also gets along fine with him and misses him coming for visits (he works lots) and talks all the time to his other half on facebook...I bought him a gaydar keyring for his christmas that he's been trying on all his friends and thought it hilarious..we're young-ish parents though and nothing really bother's us as long as my kids are safe..that's what matters
I was 14 when I told my mum I was bi, she was ignorant about it and said she wished I was gay because now i'm going to cheat on everyone I go out with etc :rolleyes: but apart from that it wasn't an issue and I always knew that as my mum has a gay sister and a gay cousin and they are treated like any other family member.
Back in the jurassic period when I told my mother she was fairly accepting. She accepted too easily, and within a month or so, she had to see the doctor (no grandchildren plus she thought it was her 'fault'). After that she gradually accepted it.
Then, ten years ago, she became a (Born Again) Christian. And all of a sudden I was mentioned in the same categories as paedophiles & sex offenders. Obviously, it put a strain on our relationship for quite a few years. Thankfully, she has come out of her 'evangelising' period and our relationship is alot better. We dont talk about my sexuality, and it doesnt bother me as Im older and that side of life is in its...autumnal years!
As I get older, my views modify about 'acceptance'. I was never a rainbow flag clutching queen that would thrust myself at str8 people at a gay pride event. I came from a small town in Cornwall and couldnt wait to leave when I was of age, and lived in London for what I call, my 'really gay period'. When you live in gay ghettos in London (or any other big city) its fairly easy to assimilate into the crowd, whereas, if you live in the sticks, it can be a long (hard)road to acceptance.
We live in a world where people want 'quick fixes' to most aspects of their lives. Dont be surprised if a family member needs time to get their head round your sexuality. If someone doesnt accept your news, remember they might need time to process the information. Im not saying its right, its just the truth! Its easy to tap onto a forum like this and talk of 'acceptance', but real acceptance can sometimes be a long and winding road. We're all different!;)
just put this story in another thread so will copy and paste it here...
...our son was terrified to tell us..no idea why though but think it's just that fear that you'll not be loved by the people u expect to love u..so when he did get round to telling me first I laughed and said jokingly 'oh is that it..I'd be more worried if u were on drugs' and then told my husband 'our son is gay' and he said 'tell me something I don't know' and me saying 'no..he's telling us'..never stopped us once loving him..so what I'm saying is that it's just as scary to tell your parents when u know they'll be ok with it ....
this was years ago now as he's 21 now (think he was 16 at the time) and we still love him just as much..he is our son and nothing will change that..his brother actually gets on with him more now than they ever did (years of sharing a room and being the younger picked on brother) and that was after the oldest moved to his own place..his sister also gets along fine with him and misses him coming for visits (he works lots) and talks all the time to his other half on facebook...I bought him a gaydar keyring for his christmas that he's been trying on all his friends and thought it hilarious..we're young-ish parents though and nothing really bother's us as long as my kids are safe..that's what matters
Actually it was 94% of the population tat identified as straight (important word that - identified as when other surveys have been done they've asked about sexual behaviour and not simply how someone thinks of themselves) 1,5% identified as gay or bisexual and around 4% refused to say.
I read about that survey, apparently gaydar has over 2 million members so there is definately something wrong with the 1.5% figure. They do say it's full of married men though.
My old man once came out with the word woofter, not in derogatory way ie: he was not being negative to gay people. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, when we had got home i asked what he was thinking of and he genuinley did not realise it was offensive...Doh!
I told my mum and dad last year, on Xmas day, that I was in a relationship with someone. The inevitable, "What's her name?" came up and I simply said, "Funny you should ask, as his name is Lewis." The reaction I got was, "As long as you two are happy then that is great. When do we get to meet him?"
People need to stop looking at it as "Gay and "Straight" and just accept the fact that people will go out with others that suit themselves best. It would save a lot of hassle for folks.
I so totally agree. The people who seem to have most issues about being gay and "coming out" are the people who are gay themselves - others just continue with their lives - not making any issues about not being gay
I don't care who fancies who or which sex they are ... its their life and none of my business
I read about that survey, apparently gaydar has over 2 million members so there is definately something wrong with the 1.5% figure. They do say it's full of married men though.
Yeah, but they're all straight, and have only joined Gaydar out of idle curiosity
Overall, times are changing and coming out will not be the same as it was the last generation.
Most parents 30+ will have grown up in the 90's where homosexuality was pretty much accepted by the general public. They will not be as alarmed or ignorant to what it is to be gay. i am not saying it will be easy but i should think generally speaking it will be easier than it was.
Adopter, I'm not trying to disrespect your parents but I agree that's unfair for you being told off for saying shit but your father could say ******. I actually disagree with your mother, I think woofter is disgusting personally.
It is disgusting and she knows it's offensive. But she reckons that gay means happy and that the word has been stolen.
My brother was kicked out of the navy back in the 90s for being gay. Thing was, he never advertised it during his time with them, just got on with the job and was actually celibate. One of his mates from home sent him a copy of Boyz magazine though, which another guy found and reported him for having. He says he could have denied it but decided to come clean. He spend two weeks in a military prison awaiting his tribunal and was discharged from the Navy.
My mother didn't know he was gay, in fact none of us knew for sure although I had always suspected as much. He told me first though as he knew it wouldn't bother me because I had gay friends. I even remember the phone call, he called me and said he had something to tell me about why he had to leave the navy and I just said "What, that you're gay?, I already knew" to which he jokingly replied "Well why the f**k did you not tell me back then?" I persauded him to go and visit my mum and tell her in person though, not just a phone call, which he did. At first she was a a bit taken aback, thinking maybe it was the way she brought him up (he was very mollycoddled and spoiled by her when he was younger and went everywhere with her, whereas I was more independent). It took a while to persuade her that him being gay had nothing to do with anything she did, it was just that he was gay. She even called the Terrence Higgins Trust for advice on handling the situation and they were very good, and patient with her.
Umpteen years later and no one bats an eyelid, the family accept it fine and treat him no differently and everyone in the village know he is gay and don't give a hoot. As it should be really. I suppose in that respect he is very lucky compared to some gay men and women in other situations who are badly treated when they come out.
I was surprised by the reaction of my family when I 'came out', not that they'd ever given off any 'homophobic' vibes BUT i think most people before coming out have that niggling doubt in their minds that they'll be accepted by their family. When i told them it was pretty much an 'Oh right, well we already knew' kinda thing. It's never been an issue with them or my friends.
I was surprised by the reaction of my family when I 'came out', not that they'd ever given off any 'homophobic' vibes BUT i think most people before coming out have that niggling doubt in their minds that they'll be accepted by their family. When i told them it was pretty much an 'Oh right, well we already knew' kinda thing.
I always wonder if parents know, as many say they do, why they just not sit down and have a conversation about it. i know my dad asked me at 15 if I was, as i really had no interest in males or anything feminine. It turned out I wasn't but would it not be reassuring if a parent sat down and explained in a diplomatic way they are ok about things.
Or should it always be up to the child to make the move?
I always wonder if parents know, as many say they do, why they just not sit down and have a conversation about it. i know my dad asked me at 15 if I was, as i really had no interest in males or anything feminine. It turned out I wasn't but would it not be reassuring if a parent sat down and explained in a diplomatic way they are ok about things.
Or should it always be up to the child to make the move?
My little brother is as gay as a window. We all knew it a long time before he did. When he was about 15, he brought a nice boy to my Mums and that was that. It was never an issue, he didn't "come out". I think too big a deal is made of declaring your sexuality now. It puts a huge amount of pressure on young gay people. Anyway, my brother has been with the nice boy for 8 years, and they got married last year. It was never an issue in my family. My brother in law was the same I guess, his family didn't have a problem with it either.
I came out 2 year ago to my mum and dad.Pretty basic. I say I’m in a relationship, they say who she is... I say it’s a he... I think they were more annoyed it came out on facebook lol!
We (husband and myself) are pretty certain that one of our sons is gay (he's only 10). It's of absolutely no importance to us, although I'm worried (in a furious "mother" way) of any negative reactions from other people. I just want my kids happy, their sexual orientation is irrelevant.
I'm also completely indifferent to grandchildren, I couldn't care less if I don't get any from any of my kids.
I came out aged 18 (I'm 32 now) and my parents' reaction was generally positive. I think like a lot of parents, because of their feelings of protectiveness to their children they worry about other people's reactions they had a bit of a "shock" when I announced it but it was nothing and within a few hours everything was, and still is hunky dory.
In fact I sometimes think my parents love my partner more than they do me :eek::D
Comments
It is your own fault for going on the internets, many folks have turned gay from doing that, just look at DS and at people like Chris Moyles and Richard Allinson (now an item). :eek:
Nah, I blame it on TV and subliminal messaging
It just goes to show, don't believe everything you read on the intarwebz
NHS or private?
...our son was terrified to tell us..no idea why though but think it's just that fear that you'll not be loved by the people u expect to love u..so when he did get round to telling me first I laughed and said jokingly 'oh is that it..I'd be more worried if u were on drugs' and then told my husband 'our son is gay' and he said 'tell me something I don't know' and me saying 'no..he's telling us'..never stopped us once loving him..so what I'm saying is that it's just as scary to tell your parents when u know they'll be ok with it ....
this was years ago now as he's 21 now (think he was 16 at the time) and we still love him just as much..he is our son and nothing will change that..his brother actually gets on with him more now than they ever did (years of sharing a room and being the younger picked on brother) and that was after the oldest moved to his own place..his sister also gets along fine with him and misses him coming for visits (he works lots) and talks all the time to his other half on facebook...I bought him a gaydar keyring for his christmas that he's been trying on all his friends and thought it hilarious..we're young-ish parents though and nothing really bother's us as long as my kids are safe..that's what matters
Private - as I have no life I have plenty of spare cash!:D
Then, ten years ago, she became a (Born Again) Christian. And all of a sudden I was mentioned in the same categories as paedophiles & sex offenders. Obviously, it put a strain on our relationship for quite a few years. Thankfully, she has come out of her 'evangelising' period and our relationship is alot better. We dont talk about my sexuality, and it doesnt bother me as Im older and that side of life is in its...autumnal years!
As I get older, my views modify about 'acceptance'. I was never a rainbow flag clutching queen that would thrust myself at str8 people at a gay pride event. I came from a small town in Cornwall and couldnt wait to leave when I was of age, and lived in London for what I call, my 'really gay period'. When you live in gay ghettos in London (or any other big city) its fairly easy to assimilate into the crowd, whereas, if you live in the sticks, it can be a long (hard)road to acceptance.
We live in a world where people want 'quick fixes' to most aspects of their lives. Dont be surprised if a family member needs time to get their head round your sexuality. If someone doesnt accept your news, remember they might need time to process the information. Im not saying its right, its just the truth! Its easy to tap onto a forum like this and talk of 'acceptance', but real acceptance can sometimes be a long and winding road. We're all different!;)
Love it!:D
I read about that survey, apparently gaydar has over 2 million members so there is definately something wrong with the 1.5% figure. They do say it's full of married men though.
I so totally agree. The people who seem to have most issues about being gay and "coming out" are the people who are gay themselves - others just continue with their lives - not making any issues about not being gay
I don't care who fancies who or which sex they are ... its their life and none of my business
Yeah, but they're all straight, and have only joined Gaydar out of idle curiosity
Most parents 30+ will have grown up in the 90's where homosexuality was pretty much accepted by the general public. They will not be as alarmed or ignorant to what it is to be gay. i am not saying it will be easy but i should think generally speaking it will be easier than it was.
It is disgusting and she knows it's offensive. But she reckons that gay means happy and that the word has been stolen.
First time ever I feel compelled to :rolleyes:
My mother didn't know he was gay, in fact none of us knew for sure although I had always suspected as much. He told me first though as he knew it wouldn't bother me because I had gay friends. I even remember the phone call, he called me and said he had something to tell me about why he had to leave the navy and I just said "What, that you're gay?, I already knew" to which he jokingly replied "Well why the f**k did you not tell me back then?" I persauded him to go and visit my mum and tell her in person though, not just a phone call, which he did. At first she was a a bit taken aback, thinking maybe it was the way she brought him up (he was very mollycoddled and spoiled by her when he was younger and went everywhere with her, whereas I was more independent). It took a while to persuade her that him being gay had nothing to do with anything she did, it was just that he was gay. She even called the Terrence Higgins Trust for advice on handling the situation and they were very good, and patient with her.
Umpteen years later and no one bats an eyelid, the family accept it fine and treat him no differently and everyone in the village know he is gay and don't give a hoot. As it should be really. I suppose in that respect he is very lucky compared to some gay men and women in other situations who are badly treated when they come out.
I always wonder if parents know, as many say they do, why they just not sit down and have a conversation about it. i know my dad asked me at 15 if I was, as i really had no interest in males or anything feminine. It turned out I wasn't but would it not be reassuring if a parent sat down and explained in a diplomatic way they are ok about things.
Or should it always be up to the child to make the move?
Good question.
I'm also completely indifferent to grandchildren, I couldn't care less if I don't get any from any of my kids.
In fact I sometimes think my parents love my partner more than they do me :eek::D
Their suitcase on the doorstep if ever either of my two came out as gay.
It's a lie most of the time. There are many lies within the gay mythology, many.
Myth I: The Gay Community.
Fact: It doesn't exist outside of a few big-city ghettos.
Myth II: Mothers Always Know
Fact: No, they don't.
Myth III: 'Come Out' And Everything Is Lovely
Fact: No, it often isn't.
Myth IV: All Gay Men Are Good-Looking
Fact: No, they're not.
Myth V: All Gay Men Love Kylie and Judy Garland
Fact: No, they really don't.
The list is endless.