what realy annoys me is that they seem to have used his dad as an excuse,surly its brendans mind telling him to rise his rists to ste & its also brendans mind that can stop it at any moment,blaming his dad seems to have been an excuse not to get the help brendan needs
i'm confused - i have never seen anyone make any excuses for brendan hitting ste.
i've seen people explain reasons which made him the person is was/is in trying to understand the basis of his character, and i've seen people sympathise with him for being raped as a child, but i have NEVER seen anyone excuse or defend his actions of beating ste.
so you think that all people in their twentis get depressed forever after a relationship ends? I can assure you it's not like that especially as the frequently the cause for the relationship to end is they already love another person. It doesn't mean they never loved thiet first partner, but that it wasn't the big love of their life. That's why there are people who have various relationship in their life. It's not black and white in real life neither on a soap.
We saw Doug being over Bex's death after a few months, does it means he never loved her?
The discussion was about the domestic violence, but the way they wrote the story implies thet Brendan and Ste are the love of each other's lives, the actor said soo too. It doesn't matter for how topic if you believe the realtionship is good, healthy or whatever.
In real life I also know people who decided never to marry after the death of her partner, but also people who married quite soon after and I never doubted that they love their partner, but we are all different and you can state your opinion as absolute facts. You can just speak for yourself, so you wiould never have a new realtionship, but other people do and you can't say they never loved their previuos partner, sorry but you dion't have the right.
Sometimes the relationship might naturally have come to an end but if you remotely cared you would have some kind of feeling of loss which would lead to depression.
And I never said I would never have a relationship after a break-up just that I believe if you genuinely care about someone you will need time to heal from the loss.
If you don't have feelings of loss or depression then they're maybe just insensitive.
i'm confused - i have never seen anyone make any excuses for brendan hitting ste.
i've seen people explain reasons which made him the person is was/is in trying to understand the basis of his character, and i've seen people sympathise with him for being raped as a child, but i have NEVER seen anyone excuse or defend his actions of beating ste.
Wanting Ste to be with Brendan by definition excuses domestic violence.
Incidentally if your brother or sister was beaten up by a partner would you want them to go back for more?
Feelings are different for everyone. It is realistic. It does not have to take a year for everyone in the world to recover from a relationship where love was involved.
Feelings are different for everyone. It is realistic. It does not have to take a year for everyone in the world to recover from a relationship where love was involved.
Then it can't have been genuine love. Mere liking!
So if you genuinely loved and lost someone you would be over them in what two- three months?
Ha ha! Thanks absolute quality! I'm laughing now!
If you love someone it will take you at very least a year to get over them. If they claim otherwise they are talking nonsense. It's a case of they liked them a little bit!
One in two marriages end in divorce because too many people settle just for the sake of it. If you aint completely in to the person what's the point? Why just settle for sake of it? Besides being incapable of being single which I think many people are,
As for Ste still loving Brendan, ridiculous! Had they broken up for three months and got back together fair enough argument but they were broke up over a year. I've been on the receiving end of domestic violence, my ex was facing three years inside for threatening to stab me and cut me up in to tidy pieces. I took him back numerously cos I loved his nice side but in the end you end up hating them! Ste left Doug for good, in real life he would hate Brendan not love him as the domestic abuse would have killed any love that Ste had.
once again i repeat, eveyone is different and everyone will take different amounts of times to cope and to move on. what's laughable is you rejecting this concept of everyone in the world being different and in different situations because it doesn't fit in with the nice simple black and white time frame that you have created for all of humanity.
and once again i repeat, ste was not ever in love with doug anyway. he cared for him. but he was always in love with brendan. i said this in my previous post. and it's been stated several times within the show. WATCH THE SHOW if you're going to comment on it! they haven't exactly shied from it!
as for the last paragraph....again, it's been pretty blatently referred to onscreen. they weren't ever "together" in a relationship in the first place, due to brendan's homophobia. ste wanted them to be, but brendan couldn't do it, and so lashed out in violence instead. that was why ste left him. but that doesn't mean that he stopped loving him. he just listened to his head and got the hell out. they were still a part of each others lives though, and ste always ran round to put brendan first before doug at every oppertunity.
i'm very sorry for your own abusive past. i too have been abused. i was pretty violently and emotionally abused by both my brother and and my father. thankfully never sexually. my brother made one attempt, but my parents stopped that (there's 5 years between me and my brother, so he was a very young teen at the time and i was still in primary school). my mother was also extremely abused by my father. she would take beatings for me and my sisters in our place. he had a mental and physical hold over her, in that she wasn't even allowed to leave the house without his permission. she couldn't drive, she had no access to money, he denied any of her family from seeing her for 26 years. there was even a lock on the phone.
as soon as i was old enough and my mother had managed to secretly save enough money, she got the courage to leave him. she took me, the youngest and only one still under 16 (i was 11) and we literally ran. i haven't seen my father in years and i have no desire to ever see that bastard again. my mother remarried to a wonderful man who i love wholehearedtly. but do you know what she confessed to me last year? she still sometimes thinks of my father. she still prays for him. and a part of her still does, and always will love him, even after everything that he did to her, and to us. and i can't be mad at her for that, because as horrible as it is, he WAS her life. for 26 years. she could have left at the start, or perhaps half way through when she only had 2 or 3 children. but she wasn't strong enough then. so she stayed, and she lived that life he subjected her to. half of her life now....
so please, do not try and lecture me on the nature of people or what happens when someone abuses you, because i KNOW first hand, and i will just tell you AGAIN that no two situations and no two people are the same, and you can NOT presume to dictate what would happen in people's lives and how they would react.
once again i repeat, eveyone is different and everyone will take different amounts of times to cope and to move on. what's laughable is you rejecting this concept of everyone in the world being different and in different situations because it doesn't fit in with the nice simple black and white time frame that you have created for all of humanity.
and once again i repeat, ste was not ever in love with doug anyway. he cared for him. but he was always in love with brendan. i said this in my previous post. and it's been stated several times within the show. WATCH THE SHOW if you're going to comment on it! they haven't exactly shied from it!
Have you ever been domestically abused?
You trying to make out that Ste and Brendan are some kind of massive love story.
That is ridiculous. In real life people might be in abusive relationships and go back to them but once they make a proper break they would not in a million years go back to it.
And I do watch the show.
And I do accept people are different and need different time but if it is genuine love it will be at least a year sometimes longer. Like I said I know someone never over her husband's death.
once again i repeat, eveyone is different and everyone will take different amounts of times to cope and to move on. what's laughable is you rejecting this concept of everyone in the world being different and in different situations because it doesn't fit in with the nice simple black and white time frame that you have created for all of humanity.
and once again i repeat, ste was not ever in love with doug anyway. he cared for him. but he was always in love with brendan. i said this in my previous post. and it's been stated several times within the show. WATCH THE SHOW if you're going to comment on it! they haven't exactly shied from it!
Incidentally you ignore my comment that Brendan's abuse would have killed Ste's love.
You not buy this argument? You think domestic violence doesn't destroy love?
Sometimes the relationship might naturally have come to an end but if you remotely cared you would have some kind of feeling of loss which would lead to depression.
And I never said I would never have a relationship after a break-up just that I believe if you genuinely care about someone you will need time to heal from the loss.
If you don't have feelings of loss or depression then they're maybe just insensitive.
Somtimes when you end a relationship the love is already finished so you can feel a bit sad but not actually depressed another thing is if the other person die that' s a different! But we were talking about two young people realising the story can't go on, no depression is needed and a few months are more than enough luckily. Not all the relationship have the same importance and definetly stug wasn't the love of the century. Also sorry for all my typo mistakes!
You trying to make out that Ste and Brendan are some kind of massive love story.
That is ridiculous. In real life people might be in abusive relationships and go back to them but once they make a proper break they would not in a million years go back to it.
And I do watch the show.
And I do accept people are different and need different time but if it is genuine love it will be at least a year sometimes longer. Like I said I know someone never over her husband's death.
no i'm not. i'm simply repeating what's been onscreen. what's even been in dialogue. that ste was in love with brendan - not doug.
once again i repeat, eveyone is different and everyone will take different amounts of times to cope and to move on. what's laughable is you rejecting this concept of everyone in the world being different and in different situations because it doesn't fit in with the nice simple black and white time frame that you have created for all of humanity.
and once again i repeat, ste was not ever in love with doug anyway. he cared for him. but he was always in love with brendan. i said this in my previous post. and it's been stated several times within the show. WATCH THE SHOW if you're going to comment on it! they haven't exactly shied from it!
as for the last paragraph....again, it's been pretty blatently referred to onscreen. they weren't ever "together" in a relationship in the first place, due to brendan's homophobia. ste wanted them to be, but brendan couldn't do it, and so lashed out in violence instead. that was why ste left him. but that doesn't mean that he stopped loving him. he just listened to his head and got the hell out. they were still a part of each others lives though, and ste always ran round to put brendan first before doug at every oppertunity.
i'm very sorry for your own abusive past. i too have been abused. i was pretty violently and emotionally abused by both my brother and and my father. thankfully never sexually. my brother made one attempt, but my parents stopped that (there's 5 years between me and my brother, so he was a very young teen at the time and i was still in primary school). my mother was also extremely abused by my father. she would take beatings for me and my sisters in our place. he had a mental and physical hold over her, in that she wasn't even allowed to leave the house without his permission. she couldn't drive, she had no access to money, he denied any of her family from seeing her for 26 years. there was even a lock on the phone.
as soon as i was old enough and my mother had managed to secretly save enough money, she got the courage to leave him. she took me, the youngest and only one still under 16 (i was 11) and we literally ran. i haven't seen my father in years and i have no desire to ever see that bastard again. my mother remarried to a wonderful man who i love wholehearedtly. but do you know what she confessed to me last year? she still sometimes thinks of my father. she still prays for him. and a part of her still does, and always will love him, even after everything that he did to her, and to us. and i can't be mad at her for that, because as horrible as it is, he WAS her life. for 26 years. she could have left at the start, or perhaps half way through when she only had 2 or 3 children. but she wasn't strong enough then. so she stayed, and she lived that life he subjected her to. half of her life now....
so please, do not try and lecture me on the nature of people or what happens when someone abuses you, because i KNOW first hand, and i will just tell you AGAIN that no two situations and no two people are the same, and you can NOT presume to dictate what would happen in people's lives and how they would react.
I'm sorry for your abuse and your family.
I was abused for three years. Your mother 26 so perhaps that is why he still has some kind of hold over her. The longer it goes on the longer the hold.
I still don't buy Ste and Brendan as a love story though and I hold my opinion that it takes longer than mere months to get over someone you love. But that's my opinion just. Which I am entitled to hold.
Somtimes when you end a relationship the love is already finished so you can feel a bit sad but not actually depressed another thing is if the other person die that' s a different! But we were talking about two young people realising the story can't go on, no depression is needed and a few months are more than enough luckily. Not all the relationship have the same importance and definetly stug wasn't the love of the century. Also sorry for all my typo mistakes!
Maybe sometimes but sometimes it can be the end of the world.
Then it can't have been genuine love. Mere liking!
Becausey you say so? Love is love and it comes in all different shapes and forms - people feel it - and you are just going off your own definition - everyone is different.
Becausey you say so? Love is love and it comes in all different shapes and forms - people feel it - and you are just going off your own definition - everyone is different.
Well when I lost the man I loved it took me three years to get over him and for that period I had severe depression and even thoughts of going swimming with great white sharks so it maybe influences my opinion.
But yeah you're right everyone has their own definition and viewpoint.
I think 2-3 months is more like maybe 6 months plus love. But hey everyone has a different viewpoint and experiences shape that.
It's a soap. If they want to paint the picture that people can change, I am all for it because the likelihood of people changing in real life is slim. I'll happily take the belief that they can, in the form of Ste and Brendan because they're captivating to watch.
Doug and JP have potential to be sarcastic and witty and I pray to Hod that they do that with them, rather than have them overly invested in each other, far too soon. Can they not just be a light relief couple? Are we allowed them?
And on the subject of love, I don't care how harsh or un-sympathetic I sound, but I would say it if you were my friend, just as you are a stranger. If you are that dependant on someone IN REAL LIFE that you are depressed for a year over a boy/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner leaving you (not dying, leaving) you need to reasses making someone your everything. Love is the best feeling in the world, so when it ends, of course you'll be down for a long time, but as long as you look back fondly of what you had and look forward to making new memories like that with someone else, then you're set. The idea that your other half is your life, to me, is ludicrous.
ETA - I should add. This whole theory goes out the window when it comes to fictional characters. Then I am all for mammoth depression stories.
Well when I lost the man I loved it took me three years to get over him and for that period I had severe depression and even thoughts of going swimming with great white sharks so it maybe influences my opinion.
But yeah you're right everyone has their own definition and viewpoint.
I think 2-3 months is more like maybe 6 months plus love. But hey everyone has a different viewpoint and experiences shape that.
Sounds like you've been through a lot but I think there's two things (arguably) wrong with your theories.
1) the obvious - that everyone is different. You read about widowers finding new love months after their ill wife died. It happens.
2) If a relationship ends abruptly, like death or one person suddenly falling out of love, it might be difficult for the other person to move on. But most relationships end slowly as one or both parties realise they're not right for each other - ie it's basically over long before the end. Ste/Doug weren't in love one minute and over the next. I could buy Doug struggling to get over Ste but not the other way around.
2) Ste and Doug were fond of each other, but they were never truly madly deeply in love. They were forced to have an accelerated plot where Doug proposed out of desperation and insecurity primarily because he was told that Brendan was Ste's true love. I think he even said it himself at one point.
It's a soap. If they want to paint the picture that people can change, I am all for it because the likelihood of people changing in real life is slim. I'll happily take the belief that they can, in the form of Ste and Brendan because they're captivating to watch.
Doug and JP have potential to be sarcastic and witty and I pray to Hod that they do that with them, rather than have them overly invested in each other, far too soon. Can they not just be a light relief couple? Are we allowed them?
And on the subject of love, I don't care how harsh or un-sympathetic I sound, but I would say it if you were my friend, just as you are a stranger. If you are that dependant on someone IN REAL LIFE that you are depressed for a year over a boy/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner leaving you (not dying, leaving) you need to reasses making someone your everything. Love is the best feeling in the world, so when it ends, of course you'll be down for a long time, but as long as you look back fondly of what you had and look forward to making new memories like that with someone else, then you're set. The idea that your other half is your life, to me, is ludicrous.
ETA - I should add. This whole theory goes out the window when it comes to fictional characters. Then I am all for mammoth depression stories.
If you have a depressive or manic depressive illness you're more likely to get depression after it though. And severe depression is not something you easily get out off by snapping your fingers.
As for Doug he married Ste so he was meant to love him he has a history of two suicide bids he may not have been diagnosed but he clearly has some form of depressive illness so him being ok in 2-3 months I don't think realistic. I think Doug would get down in fact given his history maybe even attempt suicide again. But given Esthers recent suicide bid I doubt they'll go down that way again.
But then I suppose we're only talking about this now it hasn't happened on screen so it might not be two to three months it might be months down the line.
If you have a depressive or manic depressive illness you're more likely to get depression after it though. And severe depression is not something you easily get out off by snapping your fingers.
As for Doug he married Ste so he was meant to love him he has a history of two suicide bids he may not have been diagnosed but he clearly has some form of depressive illness so him being ok in 2-3 months I don't think realistic. I think Doug would get down in fact given his history maybe even attempt suicide again. But given Esthers recent suicide bid I doubt they'll go down that way again.
But then I suppose we're only talking about this now it hasn't happened on screen so it might not be two to three months it might be months down the line.
the fact they married doesn't mean Doug was really in love with Ste, it seemd more like he thought to be in love and in all honesty the plot along with the Cindy and Tony's marriage was a non sense, it was there just for the crush and for dragging on stendan reunion, so I don't think they intend to do this kind of sl with Doug. The impression I have is he will get on with JP and he will be pretty happy. That doesn't mean he never cared for Ste, but that simply he had mistaken fondness and affection with something more.
the fact they married doesn't mean Doug was really in love with Ste, it seemd more like he thought to be in love and in all honesty the plot along with the Cindy and Tony's marriage was a non sense, it was there just for the crush and for dragging on stendan reunion, so I don't think they intend to do this kind of sl with Doug. The impression I have is he will get on with JP and he will be pretty happy. That doesn't mean he never cared for Ste, but that simply he had mistaken fondness and affection with something more.
well i suppose they're moving the character on.
We'll see how it pans out on the show.
And yeah Cindy and Tony's marriage was ridiculous. You're right the weddings most likely were a plot device for the bus crash just. Though the bus crash was awesome!
And yeah Cindy and Tony's marriage was ridiculous. You're right the weddings most likely were a plot device for the bus crash just. Though the bus crash was awesome!
tell me about it, both marriages where over by christmas.:rolleyes:
Comments
i'm confused - i have never seen anyone make any excuses for brendan hitting ste.
i've seen people explain reasons which made him the person is was/is in trying to understand the basis of his character, and i've seen people sympathise with him for being raped as a child, but i have NEVER seen anyone excuse or defend his actions of beating ste.
Sometimes the relationship might naturally have come to an end but if you remotely cared you would have some kind of feeling of loss which would lead to depression.
And I never said I would never have a relationship after a break-up just that I believe if you genuinely care about someone you will need time to heal from the loss.
If you don't have feelings of loss or depression then they're maybe just insensitive.
Wanting Ste to be with Brendan by definition excuses domestic violence.
Incidentally if your brother or sister was beaten up by a partner would you want them to go back for more?
Then it can't have been genuine love. Mere liking!
once again i repeat, eveyone is different and everyone will take different amounts of times to cope and to move on. what's laughable is you rejecting this concept of everyone in the world being different and in different situations because it doesn't fit in with the nice simple black and white time frame that you have created for all of humanity.
and once again i repeat, ste was not ever in love with doug anyway. he cared for him. but he was always in love with brendan. i said this in my previous post. and it's been stated several times within the show. WATCH THE SHOW if you're going to comment on it! they haven't exactly shied from it!
as for the last paragraph....again, it's been pretty blatently referred to onscreen. they weren't ever "together" in a relationship in the first place, due to brendan's homophobia. ste wanted them to be, but brendan couldn't do it, and so lashed out in violence instead. that was why ste left him. but that doesn't mean that he stopped loving him. he just listened to his head and got the hell out. they were still a part of each others lives though, and ste always ran round to put brendan first before doug at every oppertunity.
i'm very sorry for your own abusive past. i too have been abused. i was pretty violently and emotionally abused by both my brother and and my father. thankfully never sexually. my brother made one attempt, but my parents stopped that (there's 5 years between me and my brother, so he was a very young teen at the time and i was still in primary school). my mother was also extremely abused by my father. she would take beatings for me and my sisters in our place. he had a mental and physical hold over her, in that she wasn't even allowed to leave the house without his permission. she couldn't drive, she had no access to money, he denied any of her family from seeing her for 26 years. there was even a lock on the phone.
as soon as i was old enough and my mother had managed to secretly save enough money, she got the courage to leave him. she took me, the youngest and only one still under 16 (i was 11) and we literally ran. i haven't seen my father in years and i have no desire to ever see that bastard again. my mother remarried to a wonderful man who i love wholehearedtly. but do you know what she confessed to me last year? she still sometimes thinks of my father. she still prays for him. and a part of her still does, and always will love him, even after everything that he did to her, and to us. and i can't be mad at her for that, because as horrible as it is, he WAS her life. for 26 years. she could have left at the start, or perhaps half way through when she only had 2 or 3 children. but she wasn't strong enough then. so she stayed, and she lived that life he subjected her to. half of her life now....
so please, do not try and lecture me on the nature of people or what happens when someone abuses you, because i KNOW first hand, and i will just tell you AGAIN that no two situations and no two people are the same, and you can NOT presume to dictate what would happen in people's lives and how they would react.
Have you ever been domestically abused?
You trying to make out that Ste and Brendan are some kind of massive love story.
That is ridiculous. In real life people might be in abusive relationships and go back to them but once they make a proper break they would not in a million years go back to it.
And I do watch the show.
And I do accept people are different and need different time but if it is genuine love it will be at least a year sometimes longer. Like I said I know someone never over her husband's death.
Incidentally you ignore my comment that Brendan's abuse would have killed Ste's love.
You not buy this argument? You think domestic violence doesn't destroy love?
Somtimes when you end a relationship the love is already finished so you can feel a bit sad but not actually depressed another thing is if the other person die that' s a different! But we were talking about two young people realising the story can't go on, no depression is needed and a few months are more than enough luckily. Not all the relationship have the same importance and definetly stug wasn't the love of the century. Also sorry for all my typo mistakes!
no i'm not. i'm simply repeating what's been onscreen. what's even been in dialogue. that ste was in love with brendan - not doug.
i didn't ignore it. i accidentally posted too early, then went back in to respond to that highly personal segment. see my previous post.
I'm sorry for your abuse and your family.
I was abused for three years. Your mother 26 so perhaps that is why he still has some kind of hold over her. The longer it goes on the longer the hold.
I still don't buy Ste and Brendan as a love story though and I hold my opinion that it takes longer than mere months to get over someone you love. But that's my opinion just. Which I am entitled to hold.
Maybe sometimes but sometimes it can be the end of the world.
If you cared it's the end of the world.
Becausey you say so? Love is love and it comes in all different shapes and forms - people feel it - and you are just going off your own definition - everyone is different.
Well when I lost the man I loved it took me three years to get over him and for that period I had severe depression and even thoughts of going swimming with great white sharks so it maybe influences my opinion.
But yeah you're right everyone has their own definition and viewpoint.
I think 2-3 months is more like maybe 6 months plus love. But hey everyone has a different viewpoint and experiences shape that.
Doug and JP have potential to be sarcastic and witty and I pray to Hod that they do that with them, rather than have them overly invested in each other, far too soon. Can they not just be a light relief couple? Are we allowed them?
And on the subject of love, I don't care how harsh or un-sympathetic I sound, but I would say it if you were my friend, just as you are a stranger. If you are that dependant on someone IN REAL LIFE that you are depressed for a year over a boy/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner leaving you (not dying, leaving) you need to reasses making someone your everything. Love is the best feeling in the world, so when it ends, of course you'll be down for a long time, but as long as you look back fondly of what you had and look forward to making new memories like that with someone else, then you're set. The idea that your other half is your life, to me, is ludicrous.
ETA - I should add. This whole theory goes out the window when it comes to fictional characters. Then I am all for mammoth depression stories.
Sounds like you've been through a lot but I think there's two things (arguably) wrong with your theories.
1) the obvious - that everyone is different. You read about widowers finding new love months after their ill wife died. It happens.
2) If a relationship ends abruptly, like death or one person suddenly falling out of love, it might be difficult for the other person to move on. But most relationships end slowly as one or both parties realise they're not right for each other - ie it's basically over long before the end. Ste/Doug weren't in love one minute and over the next. I could buy Doug struggling to get over Ste but not the other way around.
2) Ste and Doug were fond of each other, but they were never truly madly deeply in love. They were forced to have an accelerated plot where Doug proposed out of desperation and insecurity primarily because he was told that Brendan was Ste's true love. I think he even said it himself at one point.
If you have a depressive or manic depressive illness you're more likely to get depression after it though. And severe depression is not something you easily get out off by snapping your fingers.
As for Doug he married Ste so he was meant to love him he has a history of two suicide bids he may not have been diagnosed but he clearly has some form of depressive illness so him being ok in 2-3 months I don't think realistic. I think Doug would get down in fact given his history maybe even attempt suicide again. But given Esthers recent suicide bid I doubt they'll go down that way again.
But then I suppose we're only talking about this now it hasn't happened on screen so it might not be two to three months it might be months down the line.
the fact they married doesn't mean Doug was really in love with Ste, it seemd more like he thought to be in love and in all honesty the plot along with the Cindy and Tony's marriage was a non sense, it was there just for the crush and for dragging on stendan reunion, so I don't think they intend to do this kind of sl with Doug. The impression I have is he will get on with JP and he will be pretty happy. That doesn't mean he never cared for Ste, but that simply he had mistaken fondness and affection with something more.
well i suppose they're moving the character on.
We'll see how it pans out on the show.
And yeah Cindy and Tony's marriage was ridiculous. You're right the weddings most likely were a plot device for the bus crash just. Though the bus crash was awesome!
tell me about it, both marriages where over by christmas.:rolleyes:
I think statistically there's more divorces and breaks up at New Year but they can't even blame stress of Christmas as even before that!