Relationship Age Difference

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:10

I'm 15 and for a couple of months have been chatting with a boy who is 18, I realy enjoy his company and have feelings for him, he has also told me he likes me and about two months ago asked me to be his girlfriend, I turned him down because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he said if I liked him he would wait untill I was ready. However I'm still unsure about the age difference, I know three years isn't alot and many of my friends have boyfriends older than 18, but he would be my first serious boyfriend and I don't know how my parents would take it, I also wouldn't know how to tell them as they are quite old-fashioned and protective of me, he has suggested that we wait untill I'm sixteen as it may be easier for them to accept but I still don't think my parents would be happy with the idea

..

I'm not sure what advice I'm after from this thread if I'm being honest, I think I just need to hear other's opinions and any advice you can give would be appreciated

ThinWhitePuke · 28/12/10 - 23:13

As long as you don't shag till 16 (he can be done for statutory rape till then) then go for it, 3 years gap is nothing

Lola UK · 28/12/10 - 23:15

If I were you i'd carry on what I was doing, but just not put a label on it!

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:18

He sounds like a nice lad and that he is being very considerate. Its not such a big age gap IMO. When are you 16?

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:21

As time goes on this age gap will become nothing at all, but in the "here and now" I can see how you might deem it an issue. The fact at 15 you have taken this into consideration shows (to me anyway!) that you have some maturity about you. Why not try an easy going relationship for now, do what most teens do (I assume, it's been a while and was quite an odd teen myself

), you know, cinema, doing the gooey eyes to each other over a "romantic dinner" of Big Mac, that sort of thing

. Just see how it goes, but don't let him pressure you into anything you are not ready for

.

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:23

I was going out with a 15/16 year old when I was 18 with no problems really. If anything, she was more mature than I was

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:36

Thanks everyone

I know three years isn't a big deal and if I were older I'd think nothing of it, but as I'm under 16 my parents will have a problem with it and probably wouldn't let me see him, so I don't want to keep making him wait for me if I can't be with him, I don't know if I'm making any sense at all :P

[Deleted User] · 28/12/10 - 23:49

xSmithiee wrote: »

Thanks everyone I know three years isn't a big deal and if I were older I'd think nothing of it, but as I'm under 16 my parents will have a problem with it and probably wouldn't let me see him, so I don't want to keep making him wait for me if I can't be with him, I don't know if I'm making any sense at all :P

All parents are different, but you are growing up. This doesn't mean instant all adult access in terms of respecting who you go out with though. It's about compromise, bringing him round to meet your parents first, telling them where you are going, what time you will be back etc. As things go along I'm sure the fact you talk to them first and showing you can be trusted/a level of maturity means getting more freedom. That's how it worked for me anyway, like I said all parents are different!

[Deleted User] · 29/12/10 - 00:00

Neb Adra wrote: »

All parents are different, but you are growing up. This doesn't mean instant all adult access in terms of respecting who you go out with though. It's about compromise, bringing him round to meet your parents first, telling them where you are going, what time you will be back etc. As things go along I'm sure the fact you talk to them first and showing you can be trusted/a level of maturity means getting more freedom. That's how it worked for me anyway, like I said all parents are different!

Thanks for your help

I'm going to wait untill I'm 16 before we make anything official, if he's happy to wait untill then I know he's not just using me. Hopefully if I'm honest with my parents, like you say, they will accept him in time, I'm just worried about their reaction atm.

[Deleted User] · 29/12/10 - 00:07

xSmithiee wrote: »

Thanks for your help I'm going to wait untill I'm 16 before we make anything official, if he's happy to wait untill then I know he's not just using me. Hopefully if I'm honest with my parents, like you say, they will accept him in time, I'm just worried about their reaction atm.

You seem very sensible to me, just also remember that you only go through your teens once and enjoy yourself as well! The only advice I can give about your parents is be honest but also cautious. I myself would probably say that this guy is a friend, he's really nice, polite etc. It helps to mention good points like he's going to be a doctor or work for NASA one day

. If that's not true then I'm sure there are other things about him that will make your parents see that he's not just an older guy trying to take advantage of their little girl. But for now, just enjoy a good friendship with this lad, if he's a good 'un he will understand the wait.

[Deleted User] · 29/12/10 - 03:17

As long as you're careful, age gap relationships can work. I'm 26, and my fiance's 35.

Hey there!

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