What are your thoughts on gay people adopting?
GayAtheist
Posts: 1,484 Forum Member
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This may seem like a random thread to many of you, however as the title suggests I was wondering if you guys have any thoughts on us gay folk adopting?
My reason for asking is as follows. Whilst I never used to be keen on children (being the eldest of four boys), as I am getting a little older my thoughts are that perhaps I might like to adopt a child who needs a loving home. I had thought for many years that maybe this isn't something that I wanted to do, but I have had thought about it for a while recently. My close friends (who are mostly heterosexual, married and with kids) suggest that I will be a great dad, as I am allegedly paternalistic. I am not sure of this myself.
Anyhow, enough about me. What are your views on this? (I mean from a general point of view, as you guys obviously don't know me from Adam). I am especially interested, as I would be a single parent. Have any of you guys adopted, as a single parent? I'd be grateful for the opinion and knowledge of others.
Thanks in advance. GayAtheist.
My reason for asking is as follows. Whilst I never used to be keen on children (being the eldest of four boys), as I am getting a little older my thoughts are that perhaps I might like to adopt a child who needs a loving home. I had thought for many years that maybe this isn't something that I wanted to do, but I have had thought about it for a while recently. My close friends (who are mostly heterosexual, married and with kids) suggest that I will be a great dad, as I am allegedly paternalistic. I am not sure of this myself.
Anyhow, enough about me. What are your views on this? (I mean from a general point of view, as you guys obviously don't know me from Adam). I am especially interested, as I would be a single parent. Have any of you guys adopted, as a single parent? I'd be grateful for the opinion and knowledge of others.
Thanks in advance. GayAtheist.
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Comments
Nothing wrong with it.
Ta muchly. I am afraid the username is not very original - but there you go.
Interesting post, i enjoyed reading it, i would like to be honest but probs will get a lot of stick for it, SO if i may!!! here goes!!
Being gay for me is not the issue, i have more an issue with a single person adopting, obviously any single parent can have a loving secure home but if statistics show kids do better in a household with a mother and father then it is in these kids best interest to be placed in such an enviornment!!
I would be happier with a gay couple in a civil partnership.
That's fine if the kids are old enough to make that choice, but what about kids who are adopted as babies?
I'm a top, "straight acting" so can do it.
Fair enough. I understand where you are coming from and appreciate your input. At the same time, though, I have seen some kids from two parent families who have had, sadly, had an appalling childhood. So, maybe, while statistics may discover the exceptions, they aren't the rules surely? Or am I being naive?
Sadly my opinion is that the time is not quite right to treat a gay couple as one would a heterosexual one. Hopefully one day that will come, but not quite now.
(note I have not said gay people should not adopt. There are circumstances where it would plainly be the right thing to do).
Removing/reducing homophobia is obviously what we should be aiming for,and I don't think that battle will be lost or won with gay people adopting. Gay adoption should come second to educating society
If a single person or a gay couple or a three-handed black welsh lesbian wants to give a child a good home and the relevant authorities are satisfied in the proper way, if the alternative is no adoption at all then I don't think its very relevant at all.
I'm bisexual, and I agree that I wouldn't want to adopt if I was with a guy.
Totally. I understand this completely. I wouldn't want to adopt a child if they weren't comfortable. It would obviously be a two way thing, with the childs needs being paramount (I could adapt to what they wanted in most cases, I think).
May I ask why? I ask that from genuine interest, not in a judgemental way.
I dont think you are being naive at all, but as i understand it they say "The best interest of the child", as a smoker i am deemed (or my enviornment) unsuitable, i have brought up two wonderful kids but by their measure i would not qualify!
As long as the child is in a loving home, brought up having solid values and good morals then it shouldn't ever matter.
I have heard *some* people who've used the fact that some gay people are very promiscuous and therefore the relationship isn't suitable for a child but who is to say a heterosexual couple will go the distance over a gay relationship. Straight relationships fail all the time so that shouldn't have a bearing on it either.
I think you should go for it. The rigorous process will show that you will be the right person to adopt I'm sure.
I would love to adopt so good luck with whatever you decide
Again, I understand where you are coming from. I share similar traits (although I don't personally like the use of "straight acting", but I get what you are saying). That is cool though for you. I don't consider those who haven't necessarily contributed sperm to not be real dads, but as I say, I see where you are coming from.
My (personal) thoughts on this though are that there are so many kids born into this world with a poor childhood and I wish I could give them a better life, without needing to create new beings. Obviously this is personal, so please don't judge me on this (or if you do, be kind, thanks. Lol)
Anything that prevents a child being brought up in care is helping the child out of hell.
Worrying about whether the adopting parents are gay or atheists is a ludicrous irrelevance.
Indeed. This is another option discussed with my straight counterparts. I, however, think I might get attached to the children needing fostering, especially where they have dealt with neglect or abuse (that would be heartbreaking). But this might not happen of course!
Wherever possible, two parents are better than one:)
I totally see the best interest of the child being paramount, I don't deny that and I would promote that totally. However, I didn't realise they were that strict. I am a smoker also, hopefully not for long, but didn't realise they took that in to account. I don't doubt you are a great parent (sorry don't know your gender). Surely, it is how you deal with such things that is important? Again, I am being naive, I need to do some further research on this, although the posts on here are helping.
Personally I don't think two men should raise a baby, the baby needs it's mother at this delicate time, atleast till the kid has grown up abit. I think two lesbians are ok.
How do you think the child would react to having two fathers instead of a mother and father ?
Is that ever been a problem ?