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Absolutely gutted. How does anyone cope?
I guess I am not asking for specific advice here, more sharing of experiences.
My partner (who I met via the BB forum on here, as it happens in 2007) died the day after my birthday, 22nd March, he was in hospital and we all thought he would get better (He had been in before and came out fine)
He was with me when I had to get in touch with the Police because we (my brothers and I) were unable to contact my mum after 2 days, (and that is rare) she lived on her own and we were in contact daily. (None of us live close by) He was with me when the police came on 23rd Feb and said she had 'passed away' (I now HATE the expression 'We did everything we could - well, yes, that's your job and are you going to say you could have done more??)
I went to her house with my brothers to try and get important things as she was in a council house and they would have chucked stuff. He had to go to hospital again before her funeral, after I gave him the service card etc but he wanted to come out and be with me before he looked at it, he loved her too. (And she loved him)
All things, my birthday, the photo album I made of mum, the copy of the service were all on hold (I couldn't look at them until I could share it with Mike) until he came out.
On the morning after my birthday, 5pm I got the phone call. He never did make it back home.
I guess I am talking through things on here because it helps to write it down, but how does anyone cope with losing my mum, my best friend, and 4 weeks later losing my partner, my soulmate?.
I KNOW time will help, and I KNOW it's a step at a time, but I just feel so empty, lonely and I have a physical pain in my heart.
If you have read thus far, thank you.
My partner (who I met via the BB forum on here, as it happens in 2007) died the day after my birthday, 22nd March, he was in hospital and we all thought he would get better (He had been in before and came out fine)
He was with me when I had to get in touch with the Police because we (my brothers and I) were unable to contact my mum after 2 days, (and that is rare) she lived on her own and we were in contact daily. (None of us live close by) He was with me when the police came on 23rd Feb and said she had 'passed away' (I now HATE the expression 'We did everything we could - well, yes, that's your job and are you going to say you could have done more??)
I went to her house with my brothers to try and get important things as she was in a council house and they would have chucked stuff. He had to go to hospital again before her funeral, after I gave him the service card etc but he wanted to come out and be with me before he looked at it, he loved her too. (And she loved him)
All things, my birthday, the photo album I made of mum, the copy of the service were all on hold (I couldn't look at them until I could share it with Mike) until he came out.
On the morning after my birthday, 5pm I got the phone call. He never did make it back home.
I guess I am talking through things on here because it helps to write it down, but how does anyone cope with losing my mum, my best friend, and 4 weeks later losing my partner, my soulmate?.
I KNOW time will help, and I KNOW it's a step at a time, but I just feel so empty, lonely and I have a physical pain in my heart.
If you have read thus far, thank you.
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So sorry to hear of your losses x
I'm very sorry for your losses, I wont even pretend to understand what you are going through right now.
Do you have any other close family/friends you can talk to? Perhaps your siblings? If not I think it would be worth having a quick google for bereavement advice lines/websites because they are trained to know what to say and what advice to give. If their website has a forum you can speak to people in a similar situation to yourself to and that in itself can be a comfort.
Once again I'm very sorry for whats happened to you, allow yourself the time to grieve.
take care xxx
I don't know how you cope. I recently lost a good friend of mine, who was like a brother to me, and I don't know whether I'm coping or not. I want to think that I am. I can tell some people are whispering behind my back saying I'm not coping with it when all I'm doing really is choosing not to talk about it so much, openly. It feels, to me, like the right thing to do. Just getting on with things. I've talked to close friends I have online about it and that has been easier. They didn't know him so I guess it's a good way of getting things off your chest without it being too emotional because you're talking to a neutral party. Writing things down definitely helps.
Feel free to write more in this thread if there's anything you want or need to say. There are plenty of nice people here who will be around, and with better advice than I have to give. I wish you all the best, Poblet.
Only advice I can offer is find ways to talk about him when you need to and don't take any notice of anyone telling you that you should get over him.
Somehow you do get through it.
Sincere sympathy to you.
My husband and my dad died close together. You never get over it. If you can breath in and breath out that is an acheivement. At the very beginning I just had to sit and concentrate on that. Getting through each minute is all you can cope with at first, then each hour, then each day.
People will want to help but the reality is, at first, there is nothing they can do to make you feel any better.
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bereavement.html
Sending condulences and hug
Keep your chin up, I know it doesn't feel like it but you will feel better as every day goes by.
Always believe!:)
thinking of you x
unfortunately, there's no magic cure for the pain you're feeling. the only way to get through that I've found, is by knowing that each day it'll get a little bit less hard. so although you feel so much pain today, tomorrow will be a little less painful, and somewhere down the road you'll be able to smile again.
as others have said, don't bottle things up. is there a bereavement support group near you? or even just coming on here to vent your feelings.
also don't try to force yourself to act normal, if you need to take time off work, make sure you do. bereavement is something everyone has to experience at some point in their lives and the kindness of others never fails to amaze me
xxxx
I know you don't know me, but I'm sending you e-hugs anyway. x
As some of you have said, sometimes it helps putting it in writing and getting responses from people you don't know. I can't put my real feelings on Facebook because I have friends and family there, including my niece aged 12 who has lost her Nana and Uncle, so I have to be careful what I put.
Yes, I have family and friends but none of them live near me. Yes, they are a phone call away but often it's in the evening/night when I feel the most lonely and they are all in bed.
I figured it's safe to post here, I have been on DS for some time and, apart from the obvious trolls I know there are many good people on here. You are all examples of that, and I give you hugs and thanks for your comments and advice. xx
I lost my grandad last month and having family and friends to talk to and share all the good memories was of some help.
It is nice to see many supportive comments on here and i hope it is of some comfort. I would agree with others it is probably better to talk to someone rather than bottling everything up.
Sadly there is no much magic wand that can help but i send you lots of virtual hugs and i hope in time things get easier.