EastEnders Cliches - Past & Present

245678

Comments

  • Brummie Girl Brummie Girl Posts: 22,416
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Heather will run around the Square shuffling her feet in a agitated state (laptop and asthma inhaler optional)

    Max will shout at someone, anyone once per episode

    Yusef will stand in the middle of The Square with a smug look on his face

    The obligatory shouting/slanging match/revelation reveal in the middle of The Vic which leads to the jukebox mysteriously turning itself off

    R&R is the go to club where a character goes if they want to get very very drunk and make a fool of themselves
  • Phoenix04Phoenix04 Posts: 969
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Heather will run around the Square shuffling her feet in a agitated state (laptop and asthma inhaler optional)

    Shuffling, I agree, but I don't think she's ever run anywhere in her life
  • thejoyof_patthejoyof_pat Posts: 30,674
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    The only way for a 'proper' slater, the shows tart with a heart, to travel is by milk float.
  • ThumbolinaThumbolina Posts: 3,981
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Nobody ever finishes a drink, they always leave an inch or so in the bottom of the glass when they leave.
  • Phoenix04Phoenix04 Posts: 969
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Tamwar will stand in the corner, looking as if he's constipated :D
  • _BollyKnickers__BollyKnickers_ Posts: 4,107
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    You never go to Tescos/Morrisons/Asda to do a "big shop" - you instead pay the inflated prices of the minute mart and never buy more or less than two carrier bags full.
  • thejoyof_patthejoyof_pat Posts: 30,674
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Don't worry if you get up the duff with another man baby despite being married because in a years time you'll all be living together in perfect harmony.
  • MarcoRossiMarcoRossi Posts: 1,674
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    - You can get any job without any kind of formal application. Noone signs a contract and anyone can get hired and fired within minutes.

    - Noone needs qualification/experience to get a job.

    - Contracts don't need to be signed during sales and transfers of properties.

    - Doctors handing out medications out to patients out of GP practice.

    - Everyone needs to do at least one shift at Beale's caff.

    - Anyone will be asked to babysit anyone's baby.

    - Most houses have unlimited number of bedrooms.

    - Everyone shops at the minute mart, which seems to stock everything and anything.

    - Giving someone £20 can enable them to pay a month's rent.

    - Most people don't have to work in order to afford living in London.
  • Phoenix04Phoenix04 Posts: 969
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Tee-totallers spend every evening in the bar, drinking orange or tomato juice
  • valdvald Posts: 46,057
    Forum Member
    No one is allowed to work in the City.

    The only person in the square allowed a qualification is the Doctor.
  • Chisato GeesteChisato Geeste Posts: 20,654
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Pat and Ricky will disown Janine at least once every six months then completely forget about it for no apparent reason and carry on as normal- even if she has bragged about murdering your step-son.
  • _BollyKnickers__BollyKnickers_ Posts: 4,107
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    vald wrote: »
    No one is allowed to work in the City.

    The only person in the square allowed a qualification is the Doctor.

    Oh you can, you just can't actually go to work. You instead hang around the square with your briefcase a la Bradley so everybody knows you "work in the city".
  • valdvald Posts: 46,057
    Forum Member
    Oh you can, you just can't actually go to work. You instead hang around the square with your briefcase a la Bradley so everybody knows you "work in the city".

    How could I have forgotten Bradley :o:cry:
  • ThumbolinaThumbolina Posts: 3,981
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I'd Like To Nominate This As The Best Thread This Month!
  • valdvald Posts: 46,057
    Forum Member
    Thumbolina wrote: »
    I'd Like To Nominate This As The Best Thread This Month!

    I'll second that :D
  • BumbleSquatBumbleSquat Posts: 7,176
    Forum Member
    If you find yourself in crippling debt and must raise some urgent cash all of a sudden, you find it's so easy. You can raise anything up to £8000 in a single day, through a lucky bet or a scam. People only raise this cash at these times - and nobody thinks "Hold on, I did that so easily in one single day. If I do this for a week I could get myself out of this hole and move away to a better life!"

    If Dot offers you a cup of tea in the lauderette, you can pretty much guarantee that as a diagnosis for depression.

    Apart from the laundrette and drowning your sorrows in the Vic, other places you may sit staring into space with a face like slapped arse include - the swings of doom outside the Arches, Arthur's bench where someone will walk past and offer some words of wisdom, the War memorial (usually with a bag of chips in hand) and the park (with annoying children in background kicking football).

    The new doctor will arrive and everyone will praise them for being such a well-respected pillar of the community - but they never realise this doctor will either be a raging nutcase or will end up sleeping with half of the people living in the area within their first 6 months in the job.

    R&R hire the most pathetic bouncers ever - as you can skip the queue and barge in past them just so you can have a ruck with someone inside.
  • cartreecartree Posts: 1,562
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    If you're thinking about anyone, simply look out of your window and they'll be there, and you'll probably make eye contact. The upstairs window of the Vic is particularly good for this.
  • cartreecartree Posts: 1,562
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    You can always use reverse psychology to get anyone to do anything.
  • _BollyKnickers__BollyKnickers_ Posts: 4,107
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    cartree wrote: »
    If you're thinking about anyone, simply look out of your window and they'll be there, and you'll probably make eye contact. The upstairs window of the Vic is particularly good for this.

    Funniest post so far! :p
  • MarcoRossiMarcoRossi Posts: 1,674
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I agree, made me laugh too
  • _BollyKnickers__BollyKnickers_ Posts: 4,107
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    If two people are having a "secret" affair they'll always be in the same place at the same time looking sideways at one another and whispering, while their respective (and oblivious) other-halves are standing close by.
  • valdvald Posts: 46,057
    Forum Member
    Being faithful is an absolute nono (even for Dot ! )
  • thejoyof_patthejoyof_pat Posts: 30,674
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    attempted murder/murder/robbing someone/where in the square can all be forgiven but don't you dare insult the mitchells or else you have real problems.

    you can go 5 years without so much as a mention of your birthday.
  • _BollyKnickers__BollyKnickers_ Posts: 4,107
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Patrick deal with any emotion/problem/celebration by opening a bottle of rum.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 185
    Forum Member
    If a character is upset & leaving the square via the Tube they will always get someone run after them who wants to stop them.

    The person running after the person leaving via the Tube willl only catch up when they are through the barrier and halfway up the stairs!!
Sign In or Register to comment.