How to put someone in their place?

BigNipper · 21/09/16 - 11:38

I need to find ways to do it as there is a few people at my work who are bugging me. I'm a big guy who just wants to get on with my job but my supervisor keeps trying to annoy me pocking me and patting me on the back patronising me also he randomly laughs.

A few times a ignored this behavior and mocked him when I had the chance and then I just got on with the job and started being really polite and it worked for awhile but then he seemed to start trying to piss me off again and even impeding my work.

Zenton · 21/09/16 - 11:45

Be direct and firm. Corner him when he's on his own and invade his body space a little to intimidate him. Place your hand firmly on his shoulder and say you don't like the way you've been treated.

Also start training in either Ju Jitsui, Krav Maga or boxing. Your age and size are irrelevant. Either pursuit will help you lose weight, gain strength and confidence and will help you not to be a victim.

c4rv · 21/09/16 - 12:10

Zenton wrote: »

Be direct and firm. Corner him when he's on his own and invade his body space a little to intimidate him. Place your hand firmly on his shoulder and say you don't like the way you've been treated.

Also start training in either Ju Jitsui, Krav Maga or boxing. Your age and size are irrelevant. Either pursuit will help you lose weight, gain strength and confidence and will help you not to be a victim.

and a pair of knuckle dusters will help back up your threat.

barbeler · 21/09/16 - 15:25

See if you can film him or at least get a sound recording of him doing it, then go to HR. If he's putting his hand on your shoulder claim sexual harrassment. That ought to shut him up.

Supratad · 21/09/16 - 16:21

What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.

EvieJ · 21/09/16 - 19:41

Violence is never the answer, be a little more mature about it.

Store it all up then when he gets close, turning your body if necessary - let out the biggest fart you've got. Then act like it was him.

haphash · 21/09/16 - 19:55

Have a conversation with someone else at work and say that you're worried that the supervisor thinks your'e gay because he keeps touching you. They will then repeat this and the problem will be solved (unless he is gay and coming on to you).;-)

Toby LaRhone · 22/09/16 - 00:23

Supratad wrote: »

What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.

Bugger!
Clearly someone did that to me and I never bluddy noticed - and I just bought new clubs!!

burton07 · 22/09/16 - 13:51

Toby LaRhone wrote: »

Bugger!
Clearly someone did that to me and I never bluddy noticed - and I just bought new clubs!!

So that was you sending all those golf balls through my bathroom window. Grrr!

Lil Munchkin · 22/09/16 - 13:59

OP sounds like it's getting to you, and that's not nice, considering how many hours we spend at work. If it is your Supervisor larking about, it's not surprising that there are others being pains too. They'll be taking their cue from him, as it's obvious that he runs a 'loose ship'. He should be setting an example and employing competent work ethics within the company.

I would say not loudly, but assertively " I hope you are not going to be moaning and complaining that this work is not done or unsatisfactory, when you are preventing me concentrating and getting it done by poking me etc" If he doesn't get the message escalate it to your HR dept, and say you want to discuss your working environment

It's bullying really, but he's acting the clown to mask over it.

Hope you get it sorted, Good Luck xx

Toby LaRhone · 22/09/16 - 15:22

burton07 wrote: »

So that was you sending all those golf balls through my bathroom window. Grrr!

Keep your bra on and it won't happen!
👀

unique · 23/09/16 - 14:20

follow the companies greivance procedure and put in a complaint. if that don't put him in his place and resolve the issue just do it again and he will likely end up without a job

Bweh · 23/09/16 - 16:00

Put them off their stride.

paralax · 23/09/16 - 16:35

Be professional about it, trying to retaliate brings you down to his level.

Next time he does something you don't like, tell him you would like a private word with him, and tell him you didn't appreciate what he just did and why, and let him know you are asking him not to do it again. Make quick note and if he keeps on you can go to HR or management. If he is prodding and making personal contact tell him you don't find it funny.

These clowns are a pain in the backside sometimes.

scottl · 23/09/16 - 16:51

Yes if you don't like it You have to make sure he knows - best in private.

Problem is some people don't mind touching - supervisors should know better though.

BigNipper · 24/09/16 - 06:39

Worst thing is I've made such a effort to get on, but he seems to get bored when things are peaceful.

Pull2Open · 24/09/16 - 09:18

You say 'a few people at work' but only speak of your supervisor. What are the others doing?

BigNipper · 24/09/16 - 09:59

There is a guy who's friends with him who picks and chooses when to speak to me. Sometimes he will start a conversation and when I reply to what he's said he will act as if he can't hear me or understand. I will avoid him most of the time but even when I'm passing on information he will be like "huh?" "what?" when I know he can hear me.

EvieJ · 24/09/16 - 13:23

They sound completely childish. Don't let them drag you down or feel in any way responsible for it - they're probably a little intimidated by you because of their own insecurities. Deal with the poking and any other inappropriate behaviour and ignore any pettiness, remember its their problem not yours

mrsgrumpy49 · 24/09/16 - 22:11

paralax wrote: »

Be professional about it, trying to retaliate brings you down to his level.

Next time he does something you don't like, tell him you would like a private word with him, and tell him you didn't appreciate what he just did and why, and let him know you are asking him not to do it again. Make quick note and if he keeps on you can go to HR or management. If he is prodding and making personal contact tell him you don't find it funny.

These clowns are a pain in the backside sometimes.

Best answer of the lot imo.
We had a senior social services manager who liked to sneak up to people (mostly junior females) at the photocopier and run a finger down their back as a joke. He did it to me a couple of times and I asked for a private word in his office. I told him he was maybe unaware he was causing offence but I didn't like it and please stop.. Next thing he was 'in conference' with my line manager - seemingly frightened of getting a harrassment accusation. But in fact I hadn't told anyone. Word got round however and half the women in the office came up to say 'thank you' and an Assistant Director said 'well done'. Yet I hadn't made an official complaint - just dealt with it like an adult.

BigNipper · 25/09/16 - 08:09

Worst thing is him being aware it bothers me and doing it anyway and other people clocking on. It happened at a old job and got a bit out of hand as people were spending more time trying to tick me off rather than get to know me and have a laugh. It's the same with him as I feel it's his way of showing dominance or asserting his authority. Looks a bit ridiculous when I'm a 6 feet 6 tall 30yr old with huge beard.

Yosemite · 25/09/16 - 15:22

BigNipper wrote: »

Worst thing is him being aware it bothers me and doing it anyway and other people clocking on. It happened at a old job and got a bit out of hand as people were spending more time trying to tick me off rather than get to know me and have a laugh.

You've started umpteen threads in the past alleging bullying/victimisation/improper behavior in a variety of jobs and situations.

The only common factor is you ...

BigNipper · 25/09/16 - 22:13

You can't hold me responsible or their actions. I keep myself to myself.

gomezz · 25/09/16 - 22:24

BigNipper wrote: »

I keep myself to myself.

That in itself can be enough to wind some people up. Perhaps you could try being a bit more sociable?

Ada Rabble · 25/09/16 - 22:34

gomezz wrote: »

That in itself can be enough to wind some people up. Perhaps you could try being a bit more sociable?

Why do you consider that would wind people up?

gomezz · 25/09/16 - 22:36

They can see their attempts at being friendly as being ignored. People do not like being ignored.

Hey there!

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