I have planned for the day I die if I'm in hospital.
Rowan Hedge
Posts: 3,861 Forum Member
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Yes I have it all planned, if I'm in hospital then I want no family with me as I pass, no matter what they say or want I don't want them sitting watching me pass on.
It's not selfish it's my wish and they have to respect it, they have all been told and have grudgingly accepted its what I want. I have witnessed many patients pass on through my job and I'd rather spare my relatives the pain of sitting watching me die.
Hopefully I'll die suddenly and during sleep, I'm not afraid of dying as I feel its the last true great adventure we will all eventually have as we transverse into the afterlife.
It's not selfish it's my wish and they have to respect it, they have all been told and have grudgingly accepted its what I want. I have witnessed many patients pass on through my job and I'd rather spare my relatives the pain of sitting watching me die.
Hopefully I'll die suddenly and during sleep, I'm not afraid of dying as I feel its the last true great adventure we will all eventually have as we transverse into the afterlife.
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Just back from dealing with a patient who passed and got me thinking about the discussion I had with the family, this is the time when the body is at its lowest ebb and prime for passing over.
A relative of mine died quite recently and I've been thinking about the day I die too, where I'd be buried, where I have my funeral. I think it's quite natural at times like these. I don't think your wishes are selfish at all. If you have the opportunity to plan your death and the subsequent events, go for it!
Saddest days of my life.
I have a life threating illness and I hope I go quietly and my wife doesn't suffer.
Really sorry to hear that.
Best wishes to you and your family!
What a way to go - instantly, in a pub, surrounded by your mates and having a good laugh.
Shocking for the people with him, though. They thought he'd just fallen off the bar stool and just took the piss for a couple of minutes before they realised something was up.
As they were all gathered there he suddenly opened his eyes - which made them all gasp and reel back in horror - as if he was about to shout, "YOU!! YOU BASTARDS - GUARDS - SEND THEM ALL TO THE SALT MINES."
But that didn't happen. He closed his eyes again - and just died.
I appreciate that the OP doesn't want thier family to have to 'suffer' the trauma of watching them die - but I imagine, for his or her family - that *that* would be far preferable to however your final lonely moments would play out in thier imaginations.
I was with my Mother when she died - and yes, it was the most ghastly, harrowing moment of my life. But I can cope with it, knowing that my being there with her, helped ease her passing. That I was of comfort to her. That she wasn't all alone.
A slightly different situation but a family friend died suddenly a few years ago, she was in her 50s, as fit as a fiddle, extremely slim, and would ride a push bike daily. She was sat in her kitchen late one evening reading a book when she had a heart attack and died. Her husband heard her hit the floor and rushed to her but she was already gone. In the days that followed her husband was going through paperwork etc when he found letters in a box she had written for her loved ones. She'd written one each for her husband and kids and also left details of what she wanted at her funeral and where she wanted her ashes scattered. Her death was obviously very sudden and she'd written these letters purely in case anything should ever happen to her. But knowing exactly what she wanted made it much easier for her family.
None of us knows when our time will be up, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow or diagnosed with a terminal illness. I was in a situation earlier this year that was dangerously close to being life threatening. Just a normal day that could've easily ended in tragedy. It made me think about my own life and mortality a lot - if I hadn't been found when I was I probably wouldn't be here now waffling away in this post! I'll leave it for my family to decide if they want to be with me when my time comes. I don't like the thought of my kids watching me die - it was distressing enough for them to witness what happened to me earlier this year, but if they wanted to be there then I would accept that. They're the ones who will be left behind when I'm gone, I wouldn't want them spending the rest of their lives wishing they had been with me.
She was peaceful and where she wanted to be.
All these years later the peacefulness and dignity of her passing bring me and other members of my family great comfort.
A family member of mine died exactly 2 months ago today & had made wishes a few months beforehand I believe. (I say I believe as I don't know when they were made). I told both my parents that they need to have a rough idea soon of what they want. We know what my Mum would like, just waiting on my Dad lol.
Am really sorry to hear what you've been through, and what faces you,my oh has 'joked' about what he wants today when he dies, I've just sat here an said yeah, but tbh, it scares the shite out me..
Last great adventure? Gasping for breath, pain, drowning in our own fluids, fear, confusion, drifting in and out of consciousness and probably feeling like you've been going through all this your whole life... I wish I had your mindset!
Looking at death through rose-tinted glasses?
There is no afterlife, you have been watching too much science fiction. Like before you were born so you will be when you die
nothing
Wow did i write this? you have echoed my exact sentiments, especially about having absolutely zero fear of death and the incredible adventure of the afterlife to come.
Also I'd rather not have any kind of funeral service and just be cremated by professional undertakers with no relatives, eulogies etc.
One day, though I'll not hold my breath, one of you atheists might come up with a decent explanation of how inanimate physical matter can create awareness.
Physical matter as a property is wholly inanimate, it has no ability to perceive or be aware, but if you throw enough of it together then it magically has the power to perceive, it becomes conscious.
The irony is that atheists believe in a miracle that even God could not manage - they believe in a universe that came from nothing, a 'something' created from total non-existence.
And they accuse others of believing in fairy tales.;)
My feelings too. I don't want people, family or otherwise gawking at me, I'm too private for that.
My mother died 5 years ago. It was expected but we weren't sure when it would happen. On the last weekend [unbeknown to us at the time] all 3 of us children visited her, me on the Saturday and she was very calm, smiling and told me she loved me [very unusual!] and of course vice versa, it was a lovely visit. Sister visited on the Sunday, as did my brother as he was going away the next day.
She died on the Monday morning, with a nurse there with her. I was at home 25 miles away, sister at work, brother travelling. I was very upset but on reflection this would have suited her very well, she'd made her farewells and let us lead our lives without bothering us, and she was very private. She also found it easier to relate to strangers during difficult situations. It may seem bizarre to some but I think this was the passing she wanted.