Asking a policeman out on a date, inappropriate?
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Hello
I have an anti-social neighbour and the police were called out a couple of months ago, I went out to see the commotion and saw a rather attractive male police officer outside who seemed to find me attractive too, neither of us said anything and I went back in doors. Next day two other officers came asking for a statement from me as the anti-social neighbour came on to me and one of the cleaners in the flats. They asked if I was gay and I told them it had nothing to do with them, but yes I am. Just before Easter my neighbour was being a nuisance again and I made an appointment with the police to make another statement. I wondered since they all know I'm gay they might send a gay officer or gay friendly officer. To my surprise they sent the rather attractive police officer and we flirted with each other while I gave a statement. He gave me his police mobile number and email in case I needed help with the neighbour again. He was very professional and so I don't want to get him into trouble, but I was wondering about sending him an email asking him out on a date. Is it wise to or should I just leave him alone? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I have an anti-social neighbour and the police were called out a couple of months ago, I went out to see the commotion and saw a rather attractive male police officer outside who seemed to find me attractive too, neither of us said anything and I went back in doors. Next day two other officers came asking for a statement from me as the anti-social neighbour came on to me and one of the cleaners in the flats. They asked if I was gay and I told them it had nothing to do with them, but yes I am. Just before Easter my neighbour was being a nuisance again and I made an appointment with the police to make another statement. I wondered since they all know I'm gay they might send a gay officer or gay friendly officer. To my surprise they sent the rather attractive police officer and we flirted with each other while I gave a statement. He gave me his police mobile number and email in case I needed help with the neighbour again. He was very professional and so I don't want to get him into trouble, but I was wondering about sending him an email asking him out on a date. Is it wise to or should I just leave him alone? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
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Comments
I am having trouble, is this true? Seems very unprofessional of the officers. Did he give you his personal email address?
Hi. I did say I don't want to get him into trouble, so I do find your reply rather unhelpful. Thanks anyway.
No, his police email address.
What outcome do you expect? Its obvious he will get into trouble if you get involved with him in this way.
Then I doubt he has done anything wrong. My advice would be to wait a few months, and then try and find him on social media, perhaps add him as a friend, if he accepts then see what happens.
But as he is a human being a relationship is not forbidden by his job, You just need to be careful how you go about making that happen
Unless you happen to see him out of work time (In a non stalker way) then i don't see how you could pursue this
That's why I was asking for advice. I think a lot of police live in one area and work in another, so the likelihood of bumping into him off duty is slim.
Do you know his name?
Yes, his name is in the email address and his sergeant told me his name when I made the appointment, even the sergeant called herself by her first name as they seem to want to come across as friendly these days.
Have another ciggy and vodka
He knows I rent and that I'm moving out in June. I also don't smoke or drink, but if you do then please feel free.
Then try to find him on Facebook or something, and add him in a few weeks, if he accepts then he wants to know you, if not its game over.
Thanks, I'll try that.
If you think he is gay then you will still have to tread carefully. The police force is a rather 'macho' environment and he may keep that information to himself at work.
The only thing you can really do is try to engineer a chance meeting when he is not in work.
Do also not leave any messages on the work mobile.
Please be discrete as you do not know for sure the officer is gay and if he is out at work. If you do happen to meet him again by chance, don't engineer it, you could ask or give him a note to open when he is off duty. The later is what I did and it worked.
But above all judge if the whole scenario is realistic before going any further.
Good luck
I would say I can judge when someone is flirting with me, plus we were looking at each other for far too long on two occasions now and he stayed chatting after finishing the statement the second time we saw each other. I actually said I'd better let him get on with his work and he asked if I was sure I didn't have any other questions for him, he looked a bit rejected to be honest.
Thanks. I've been on a couple of dates with a policeman once before, I know with their long shifts it can be difficult, it's the reason it only lasted two dates.
How did you know he seemed to find you attractive?
Why did they ask if you were gay? Was it relevant to the reason the police were called out because of your anti social neighbour?
Because he kept looking at me when he should have been throwing my neighbour in the back of a police van. Yes, the neighbour had sexually harassed me and a cleaner and the neighbour told them it was me who fancied him. I don't want advice about the neighbour since the police are dealing with it.
Yup. Charming WDC who we invited in to give us some advice on something. Got chatting about other stuff and I asked if she'd fancy a drink sometime when she was off duty. She told me relationships were fine, as long as the person wasn't any part of any ongoing investigation to avoid conflicts of interest. So if you're a witness at the moment, it probably wouldn't be appropriate.
ps..
You're probably going to have to wait until it's dealt with then.
You missed your chance. You should have asked if you could have a feel of his truncheon and followed that with a coy smile and a cheeky wink.
If he doesn't inform them and then it is somehow discover then he is very likely to be in trouble.