"My goodness gracious me. I was using Facebook and I turned around to ******* who was exclaiming that she was rather damp. I discovered that she had removed four chocolate mousses from the refrigerator and collapsed onto them, then they regretfully exploded everywhere and she has smeared it into the carpet and has tramped footprints of chocolate mousse ubiquitously. I am incredibly miffed".
"My goodness gracious me. I was using Facebook and I turned around to ******* who was exclaiming that she was rather damp. I discovered that she had removed four chocolate mousses from the refrigerator and collapsed onto them, then they regretfully exploded everywhere and she has smeared it into the carpet and has tramped footprints of chocolate mousse ubiquitously. I am incredibly miffed".
Omg i was on ere and turnt round to ****** sayin she's all wt I looked and she's ad 4 coclate mousees out da fridge and feel over on top of um and they gn everywhere and she's smeared it in and trods cocolate ftprints everywhere grrrrrrrrr
Can someone please translate I'm too tired :eek:
Oh deity which I claim as mine own, I was busy upon Facebook when, on turning about, my acquaintance Asterix sayeth "I am all of this!" Perplexed, I observed the situation further and the greedy scamp had consumed four chocolate mousses from yon refrigeration device. Heady from the sugar rush, she did fall on top of the mousse receptacles and, goodness, they went all over the shop. Overcome by vexatious shock, she rubbed the foodstuff about and trod around, leaving the chocolatey marks of her feet about the abode. Fiddlesticks.
Oh deity which I claim as mine own, I was busy upon Facebook when, on turning about, my acquaintance Asterix sayeth "I am all of this!" Perplexed, I observed the situation further and the greedy scamp had consumed four chocolate mousses from yon refrigeration device. Heady from the sugar rush, she did fall on top of the mousse receptacles and, goodness, they went all over the shop. Overcome by vexatious shock, she rubbed the foodstuff about and trod around, leaving the chocolatey marks of her feet about the abode. Fiddlesticks.
I can't stand it when people air their dirty laundry on facebook. Seriously, have some dignity. :sleep: Someone was doing that yesterday. There is absolutely no need for it.
Not a status update but already had the first "If you don't wear a poppy **** off home" group join :rolleyes:
there's loads of EDL lover groups posting about bigot stories from the daily mail, like "I bet if the b&b ownerz woz muzzies they wud of got away wiv it innit!!!1"
and they moan about foreigners not speaking english, well most foreigners seem to be able to speak much better english than the wasters who can't spell and type their CVs in txt spk
My 17 year old stepson was braggin on facebook that he'd been having sex with his girlfriend. His dad replied 'Ive been having sex with my girlfriend too' Stepson went ballistic but his mates thought his dad was fab.
Well a 'friend' of mine recently posted a pic of a very large poo in a toilet with the caption underneath "my entry for
thelongestpoocompetion.com" It got 21 comments and 3 likes!!!!!!
After quite a few people complained that they were not expecting to see that when they logged on and that it had made them sick, he said he sent it accidentally from his phone, he had meant to send it to his friend but sent it to his wall instead and couldn't delete because he couldn't do it from the phone and didn't have access to a pc.
My 17 year old stepson was braggin on facebook that he'd been having sex with his girlfriend. His dad replied 'Ive been having sex with my girlfriend too' Stepson went ballistic but his mates thought his dad was fab.
I am so glad the Facebook and Twitter weren't around when I was that age.
lolz im pritay hornay rite noa thnk fuk mi momma bort sum bananas lolz brb
at least she managed to spell one word right in this status I suppose
jst wok up finkehn ov havehn a sm0k mayb blarst sum kersah or sum nter uno tha fre$h shiet lyfz finealay lookehn gud
FUKAHN FINELAY!!1!!!!11 SOZ TAH AL MI FANZ ON HEAR I CUDNT GEHT ON FAYCB0K CUZ I GOT KIKD OUTA H0ME BUT IM BAK NOA SAH AL U KUTE ***** DNT HAV TAH B WORAYD ANYMOAR!!! ALSAH 4 AL YHU HATAHZ IV LIVD ON THA STRETZ NOA SAH I NO HOWE TUF LYF KAHN GET!!!!!!!! SWAGAH :$$~!
And it just goes on and on and on..........................
I've just come across someone who a friend shared a photo of, from one of those embarrassing photos pages.
She has 4,000+ friends and 9,000+ subscribers, once you've seen the statuses this may become clear why
Anyway some of the statuses are just :eek:
The girls job is 'full time mommy' which if true I find rather scary. Here are some of her statuses starting with the most recent
<snipped for sanity>
Jesus, did anyone else find their reading speed slowing to a crawl in the effort to focus on each group of letters and decode them?
How does someone learn to write like that? Do you have to learn English first and then work at f*cking it up or do you end up with that gobblydegook by failing to learn English? It's like reading the output of a mental patient.:eek:
Not a status update but already had the first "If you don't wear a poppy **** off home" group join :rolleyes:
Yep, seen plenty of photos of a cenotaph and poppy wreaths with this underneath. The saddest part is learning its been 'liked' by people you'd previously thought had some sense.
There's a girl who is my FB friend (used to work with her). She lost 2 stone & when she's not ranting about some random sh!te or how 'insecure' she feels, she posts pictures of herself in a new dress/outfit, prompting everyone to go 'oh babes, u look amazing!' even though she looks like a lollipop head. The only reason I keep her on my timeline is because she spouts some quality nonsense, lol.
Comments
Some people truly beggar belief. Absolutely mental! :eek:
Innit!!!
Oh deity which I claim as mine own, I was busy upon Facebook when, on turning about, my acquaintance Asterix sayeth "I am all of this!" Perplexed, I observed the situation further and the greedy scamp had consumed four chocolate mousses from yon refrigeration device. Heady from the sugar rush, she did fall on top of the mousse receptacles and, goodness, they went all over the shop. Overcome by vexatious shock, she rubbed the foodstuff about and trod around, leaving the chocolatey marks of her feet about the abode. Fiddlesticks.
Innit.
Love it!
Someone had written their status as: time to f*ck some bitches
His dad had commented underneath: Leave the neighbours dogs alone
Well played, sir!
I know. I'm still laughing.
I can't stand it when people air their dirty laundry on facebook. Seriously, have some dignity. :sleep: Someone was doing that yesterday. There is absolutely no need for it.
I like his Dads style :cool:
there's loads of EDL lover groups posting about bigot stories from the daily mail, like "I bet if the b&b ownerz woz muzzies they wud of got away wiv it innit!!!1"
and they moan about foreigners not speaking english, well most foreigners seem to be able to speak much better english than the wasters who can't spell and type their CVs in txt spk
I see what you did there.:p
No comments yet, 1 person has liked it (I swear it wasn't me:D)
FFS just write "Needs attention!"
She has 4,000+ friends and 9,000+ subscribers, once you've seen the statuses this may become clear why
Anyway some of the statuses are just :eek:
The girls job is 'full time mommy' which if true I find rather scary. Here are some of her statuses starting with the most recent
469 people liked this :eek:
at least she managed to spell one word right in this status I suppose
And it just goes on and on and on..........................
:eek::eek:
That is just incomprehensible!
its hard to believe Whitney now when i hear her singing
"i believe the children are the future"
Oh God. And I can genuinely believe there are people out there actually like this...........
The reason I discovered her is because someone shared a photo of her taking a selfie (camera phones have a lot to answer for!) , under which she wrote
"u hate mi cuz u noe ur boyfrend wud **** mi
if ur taggd i want u to **** mi
I shall spare you the details of the photo, needless to say it hurt my eyes :eek:
http://www.facebook.com/eshlass/photos_stream#!/shortestshorts
Took my ages to try and I understand what those words actually were.
Jesus, did anyone else find their reading speed slowing to a crawl in the effort to focus on each group of letters and decode them?
How does someone learn to write like that? Do you have to learn English first and then work at f*cking it up or do you end up with that gobblydegook by failing to learn English? It's like reading the output of a mental patient.:eek:
I feel like an idiot because I can't understand these at all. I can't even begin to work out what "r00t nd b00tz" means.
Yep, seen plenty of photos of a cenotaph and poppy wreaths with this underneath. The saddest part is learning its been 'liked' by people you'd previously thought had some sense.
That is actually the joy of Facebook for me, seeing people waste their lives on there. I rarely post anything myself.
The comments should then be 'ATTENTION GIVEN'.
In that case, I think most of us are idiots!