Which Santa myths do you tell your kids?

Cult of Z-List · 24/12/10 - 12:54

Those of us who have young children are probably already aware of the power of the three words “Santa is watching”, but what other tales have you told your children about the power of Santa?

Cult jnr Version 1.0 is a bright little five year old girl who is starting to put two and two together and so this year I felt I needed to up the game a little! So following the advice of one of my work colleagues I told her that the motion sensor on my house alarm system is the camera that he watches through, and that every time it glows red it is a reflection of his hat.

It works a treat. Now whenever I want her to sit and eat her meals, or clean up her mess, or generally stop rampaging through the house like a level 10 whirlwind I just have to look at the sensor and hey presto I have the perfect little girl.

Even better she can spend many minutes at a time just staring at the sensor and when the red light comes on she jumps up and starts leaping around shouting “Hello Santa” and reciting her Christmas wish list! I’ve no doubt she will soon notice that “santa’s camera” only works when mammy or daddy is walking past it, but in the meantime I’m going to have my fun.

Any other unusual Santa Myths out there?

And Merry Christmas to you all.

Biffo the Bear · 24/12/10 - 12:56

I tell my non-existent children that Santa is an alien who teleports into the house, and that their presents contain devices that leave a microchip in them, so they can be monitored by outer space new world order lizards from the Illuminati planet with Chinese deathcamps!

SlowRap · 24/12/10 - 12:56

I tell them that Santa is a commercialised concept, thought of by marketeers in order for us to spend more on things we don't need.

fifilapew · 24/12/10 - 12:58

Santa always knocks at my house on Xmas eve with a gift of lovely new pjs and a message to put them on and go to bed. It works like a charm.

I have a few friends who don't really bother with pretending about Santa, one said she wanted her son to be grateful to her for the presents:eek:

it doesn't even really make sense as all kids grow up and realise that their parents were 'santa' at some point and are grateful then.

BrooklynBoy · 24/12/10 - 12:58

I'd tell mine if i had them that he's a creepy old sky fairy that likes to break into the house in the middle of the night to bring special things to any children that meet with his approval.

d0lphin · 24/12/10 - 13:00

For some bizarre reason, in my husband's family they said that Father Christmas's fly [insect before anyone gets the wrong idea] was watching over you to make sure you'd been good.
I have no idea where this came from and he carried it on when our kids were younger.

Minjury · 24/12/10 - 13:00

I tell them Santa is a myth. Or I would if I had any kids. So for now I just tell other peoples kids for my amusement

tysonstorm · 24/12/10 - 13:01

That he's a drunken paedophile that hang around kids bedrooms.

Haha no, of course not.

I say he's the demonic robot Santa from Futurama who takes presents from kiddies like an extortion racket.

molliepops · 24/12/10 - 13:01

My niece is just two but she is being told Santa has a magic key as we don't have a chimney, she will be putting out mince pie and port for Santa and a handful of hay for the reindeers, we also make foot prints from glitter leading up the front door so she can see where Santa walked. So not unusual just traditional.

Tom_Tit · 24/12/10 - 13:04

We don't have a chimney so my kids always ask how he gets in and out.

I tell them he magics a chimney on top of the roof and then slides down. I have a magic santa key aswell hung up inside the house and i tell them he uses that to get back out.

At first we just told them that he got in and out with the magic key hung up near the door but then my little girl figured out he can only get out with that and not in. That's why we added the magic chimney.

It's all good fun.

Merry xmas all.

[Deleted User] · 24/12/10 - 13:12

Cult of Z-List wrote: »

Those of us who have young children are probably already aware of the power of the three words “Santa is watching”, but what other tales have you told your children about the power of Santa?

Cult jnr Version 1.0 is a bright little five year old girl who is starting to put two and two together and so this year I felt I needed to up the game a little! So following the advice of one of my work colleagues I told her that the motion sensor on my house alarm system is the camera that he watches through, and that every time it glows red it is a reflection of his hat.

It works a treat. Now whenever I want her to sit and eat her meals, or clean up her mess, or generally stop rampaging through the house like a level 10 whirlwind I just have to look at the sensor and hey presto I have the perfect little girl.

Even better she can spend many minutes at a time just staring at the sensor and when the red light comes on she jumps up and starts leaping around shouting “Hello Santa” and reciting her Christmas wish list! I’ve no doubt she will soon notice that “santa’s camera” only works when mammy or daddy is walking past it, but in the meantime I’m going to have my fun.

Any other unusual Santa Myths out there?

And Merry Christmas to you all.

We use the Santa-Cam trick too. Works like a charm!

I do think the ritual of leaving Port and mince pies and glitter feet is oh-so sweet!

Cult of Z-List · 24/12/10 - 13:19

SlowRap wrote: »

I tell them that Santa is a commercialised concept, thought of by marketeers in order for us to spend more on things we don't need.

The long winter evenings must just fly by in your house.

Shady123 · 24/12/10 - 13:21

Awww some of the posts here are warming my heart

I don't have any kids yet but when I do I want them to believe in Santa because as a kid it always made me more excited for Christmas. Surely nobody resents their parents when they discover santa doesn't really exist, they're still getting the presents they want but the myth of Santa livens things up and spreads a bit of Christmas cheer

Im sure when I'm mum I'll go all out and get hubby to dress
like Santa when he puts the presents out or fills the stockings. If they're anything like I was then they'll wait up for Santa to arrive

and of course the footprints (if there's snow that is) are a nice touch

[Deleted User] · 24/12/10 - 13:22

We will be making some special reindeer oats in a while (porridge oats and glitter) to sprinkle in the garden so the reindeer can find their way to our house.

Before bed the kids will put out mince pies, milk and carrots (for the reindeer) and hang up their Christmas stocking and my daughter leaves father Christmas a thank you note and she always gets a note from him in return.

He is a messy so and so too as he always leaves a sparkly mess around the floor as well.

[Deleted User] · 24/12/10 - 13:25

Minjury wrote: »

I tell them Santa is a myth. Or I would if I had any kids. So for now I just tell other peoples kids for my amusement

Santa isn't a myth, he's an anti-mafia cop!
http://itn.co.uk/16a6f89b6904930685db895e9d91966f.html

Minjury · 24/12/10 - 13:26

Old ma oggy wrote: »

Santa isn't a myth, he's an anti-mafia cop!
http://itn.co.uk/16a6f89b6904930685db895e9d91966f.html

Woah, thats me proved wrong. Go on Santa!

[Deleted User] · 24/12/10 - 13:48

I don't have kids, so I tell my dogs instead that Santa is on his way, they're very excited

. Although if the poodle tries to "have his way" with my poor dog again I've told him he won't be getting anything at all :mad:.

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Which Santa myths do you tell your kids?

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