Mum died yesterday...confused
toyotacity
Posts: 762 Forum Member
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I had a phone call from my dad yesterday to say my mum died in a house fire.
I'm just so confused as i've never had to deal with this before, and i'm not particularly close to my dad but i'm travelling up from Manchester to South Shields tomorrow to see him
My mum had no money, neither does my dad and I earn 23k with around £1,000 in savings
I'm just worried as to how to pay for the funeral, i've been told I can't get help as i'm not on benefits, so funeral companies allow you to pay off so much at a time
Also to complicate things further i've just had chemo on Weds 28th Sept and have another 2 lots left to go over the next 4 weeks
Can a funeral be delayed until after chemo, or can it be scheduled so that it takes place when my side effects aren't too bad which is usually 7 days after chemo has taken place
I want to do whats right for my mum, and also she'd want me to think about my health.
I've spoken to the coroner and there's an inquest that's taking place
Any thoughts would be most welcome
I'm just so confused as i've never had to deal with this before, and i'm not particularly close to my dad but i'm travelling up from Manchester to South Shields tomorrow to see him
My mum had no money, neither does my dad and I earn 23k with around £1,000 in savings
I'm just worried as to how to pay for the funeral, i've been told I can't get help as i'm not on benefits, so funeral companies allow you to pay off so much at a time
Also to complicate things further i've just had chemo on Weds 28th Sept and have another 2 lots left to go over the next 4 weeks
Can a funeral be delayed until after chemo, or can it be scheduled so that it takes place when my side effects aren't too bad which is usually 7 days after chemo has taken place
I want to do whats right for my mum, and also she'd want me to think about my health.
I've spoken to the coroner and there's an inquest that's taking place
Any thoughts would be most welcome
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Comments
You and your dad can plan your mum's funeral around that, I'm sure. The undertakers will be able to help you with all the details.
Best wishes.
Did the coroner say she would be released before the inquest takes place? There may be a delay before the funeral can take place anyway, and the family can have some control over date selection.
My mother died when I was young so I did not have financial worries to deal with.
I would recommend a visit to Citizens Advice. Maybe an idea to find out if your mother have any insurance or pension that would pay out as a result of her passing.
My deepest sympathy to you and your loved ones at this difficult time
The only thing I can advise is to look after yourself and your dad. Have your chemo as planned and plan the funeral around that, as someone mentioned above.
The funeral directors will be so knowledgeable so you can, I'm sure, explain the situation and let them plan the basics for you. If you give them a budget, they will work to that.
Again, I'm so sorry for you.
My mum had no life insurance, my mum and dad were never married so he can't claim anything, they split up in 1985
My mum wouldn't want me to delay chemo now i've only got 2 lots left so i'll fit it around that, my next lot is a week on Wednesday
The coroner mentioned a intermediate death certificate and that she'll be released at some point next week
I'll go to the police tomorrow to see what was recovered from the house, I know she had no insurance or anything
I'll start ringing round funeral directors on Monday when some of the chemo fuzz has worn off
Post #8 said "my mum and dad were never married"
I'm sure you can work something out with the funeral company so don't worry about it.
Woodbush, yes thats the one on the NE news, I haven't seen it myself but my friends back home have told me about it
I know she'll be looking down, happy that my friends are looking after me, and that she's willing me to stay strong, get better and make her proud each and every day
My mother passed away earlier this year, and it is difficult to deal with, but all of the people you do have to contact and deal with know what they are doing and are very helpful. Every step of the way we were being told what we needed to do next.
If you're the kind of person who likes to read a lot of information, then the direct,gov website has a very helpful section on all of the things you need to do, and it's full of advice . I know that I was checking it all of the time to make sure everything was covered http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/index.htm
I believe you said that your parents weren't married? There are a couple of benefits your father could receive if they were married. There is a section on paying for a funeral that might be helpful.
My condolences OP, and I wish you well in your treatment.
Please take some time out for yourself, and let your dad take on some of the responsibility, for your benefit.