Can you fall for someone you've never met?

Dragons_Heartbeat · 19/02/08 - 00:31

Hey guys I just thought I'd ask this question can you fall for someone you've never met in person but have chatted to alot through messaging?

Biffo the Bear · 19/02/08 - 00:33

Of course you can! Even if you've not seen a picture of them then their personality can shine through.

Just make sure they're not an axe-murderer in disguise! :eek:

Dragons_Heartbeat · 19/02/08 - 00:36

Biffo The Bear wrote: »

Of course you can! Even if you've not seen a picture of them then their personality can shine through.

Just make sure they're not an axe-murderer in disguise! :eek:

Lol yeah thats the only drawback you've gotta make sure their sane first but I've kinda fallen for someone I realise I think I might actually love this guy

sorry its weird.

Biffo the Bear · 19/02/08 - 00:39

Lol, it's not weird at all! I had a similar thing with a girl from the US who'd I'd been talking to online since 1996, and we didn't actually meet until last year!

Mind you, the falling for her bit had kind of worn off by then

Just go with your instinct.

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 00:44

No, I don't think you can. It can feel like it though, and you can fall for 'part' of them. I think you can only genuinely love someone if you know them intimately - know what they are like in the morning, what they think, feel, smell like, touch etc. Thats not saying that you can't have an intense bond with someone you've not met, but I don't think it can ever be real love. People become so much more when you meet them in the flesh, and sometimes they aren't who you thought they would be. Sometimes the way they walk will annoy you, or the way they laugh. You can't get to know these things online. I met my now husband online, and although I was fond of him through chatting, it wasn't serious until we really got to know each other.

Dragons_Heartbeat · 19/02/08 - 00:46

Biffo The Bear wrote: »

Lol, it's not weird at all! I had a similar thing with a girl from the US who'd I'd been talking to online since 1996, and we didn't actually meet until last year!

Mind you, the falling for her bit had kind of worn off by then

Just go with your instinct.

Thanks for the Advice man its just weird I kind of met this guy through a Chat service and he's kind and funny and I kind of miss when I can't text him its like he's apart of my life when he's not even here.

Emerald Inns · 19/02/08 - 00:53

Welsh_Guy wrote: »

Thanks for the Advice man its just weird I kind of met this guy through a Chat service and he's kind and funny and I kind of miss when I can't text him its like he's apart of my life when he's not even here.

Aww, that's sweet

I knew someone like that too. I met him via a music chat room and we ended up messaging for an hour or so every day for about a year! He was a 29-year-old American from Indianapolis and a freelance pianist. We continued messaging and emailing for about three years, sending each other birthday and Christmas presents/cards. We exchanged photos too. And then I found out that he wasn't 29 but in HIS LATE 70s and that the photos he'd sent of him and his friends, and his cat and car, and his house, and his piano, weren't of HIM AT ALL, and that his parents weren't STILL ALIVE (several times he told me that his parents were coming around for lunch). The whole thing was A COMPLETE CROCK and TOTAL BS. Far from being 29 this guy was running around Europe during WORLD WAR TWO and I'd been lead around like a PIG with a RING THROUGH ITS NOSE. The lies he told me were unreal.

He was a pianist though.

Dragons_Heartbeat · 19/02/08 - 01:06

Emerald Inns wrote: »

Aww, that's sweet

I knew someone like that too. I met him via a music chat room and we ended up messaging for an hour or so every day for about a year! He was a 29-year-old American from Indianapolis and a freelance pianist. We continued messaging and emailing for about three years, sending each other birthday and Christmas presents/cards. We exchanged photos too. And then I found out that he wasn't 29 but in HIS LATE 70s and that the photos he'd sent of him and his friends, and his cat and car, and his house, and his piano, weren't of HIM AT ALL, and that his parents weren't STILL ALIVE (several times he told me that his parents were coming around for lunch). The whole thing was A COMPLETE CROCK and TOTAL BS. Far from being 29 this guy was running around Europe during WORLD WAR TWO and I'd been lead around like a PIG with a RING THROUGH ITS NOSE. The lies he told me were unreal.

He was a pianist though.

Woah thats terrible Emerald Inns how could he do that to you, plus thats one thing that is putting me off though that he could be someone else and not say who he really is.

johnny utah · 19/02/08 - 01:08

Welsh_Guy wrote: »

Woah thats terrible Emerald Inns how could he do that to you, plus thats one thing that is putting me off though that he could be someone else and not say who he really is.

Web cam - they are never flattering but at least you know your going to like each other if you like the cam:D

nogoodbyes · 19/02/08 - 01:16

Well my mate says he is going out with a girl from the usa who already has a boyfriend, and he is thinking of meeting this girl even though he has never met her.

WhiteStripe · 19/02/08 - 01:17

It is possible.

johnny utah · 19/02/08 - 01:20

nogoodbyes wrote: »

Well my mate says he is going out with a girl from the usa who already has a boyfriend, and he is thinking of meeting this girl even though he has never met her.

Its always a good reason to meet someone you like

nogoodbyes · 19/02/08 - 01:23

johnny utah wrote: »

Its always a good reason to meet someone you like

Not if there living in a different country its not.

johnny utah · 19/02/08 - 01:26

nogoodbyes wrote: »

Not if there living in a different country its not.

Why not?

rockerchick · 19/02/08 - 01:28

I just don't understand how you can fall for someone you've never met! It could be anyone using any picture and making up anything about themselves.

ikkleosu · 19/02/08 - 01:33

I think it's understandable to have feelings for someone in this situation - BUT what you are in love with is an IDEA of them because you do not know if this is what the person is like. It may be deliberate lies, or more likely it's just that in text someone can come across totally differently than they do in real life.

It happened to me so many times with friends I met online where they were totally different in real life to how I imagined them - and this was people I'd seen photos of and chatted to for hours and hours.

Enjoy yourself but try not to get too carried away that you are in love with the guy, until you've met him and filled in all the blanks.

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 01:38

Emerald Inns wrote: »

He was a pianist though.

Well, that's something I suppose...... oh erm.. maybe not then

nogoodbyes · 19/02/08 - 01:48

johnny utah wrote: »

Why not?

Because it would be too dangerous if you hardly know them.

Emerald Inns · 19/02/08 - 01:55

LadyLucretia wrote: »

Well, that's something I suppose...... oh erm.. maybe not then

Don't worry, I'm over it

:)

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 02:22

Welsh_Guy wrote: »

Hey guys I just thought I'd ask this question can you fall for someone you've never met in person but have chatted to alot through messaging?

You can, but it doesn't work out very often; having a virtual relationship rarely equates to having something in real life, don't get your hopes up.

System · 19/02/08 - 06:25

I fell in love with someone I'd never met. Been together 11 years now and celebrate my eighth wedding anniversary this year. So I do believe that you can fall in love with someone you've never met even if it is just the idea of who they are at the time. Meeting in real life is the true test. I took one look at my OH the first time we met up and decided that this was the man I was going to marry.

Your bullsh*t meter should let you know very quickly if someone is taking the mick.

premier1st · 19/02/08 - 07:00

I guess you can. Someone I worked with said her stepdaughter fell in love with someone on the net and now they're living together. That's probably the 1/200 chance where it worked out. You have to be sooo careful. It helps if you have their work email address. I know it sounds stalky but Google the person then you have more insight. Mind you, they could be impersonating a random person they Googled!

Inspiration · 19/02/08 - 08:08

Theres three stages, each has to work out for it to become a long lasting relationship. Talking online, talking on the phone, meeting up. The online part is by far the easiest. Sounds like you're in lust right now after that. Talking on the phone is more difficult as it's a lot more honest about your personality and who you are.. no where to hide if an uncomfortable silence pops up. And finally meeting up... spending time together.

premier1st: 1/200 odds?! It's far better odds than that. I know of at least 5 couples who met online and got married. Possibly more but I'm half asleep.

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 10:11

I met a guy in a chat room back in 1999 and it was 3 months before we met and we had fallen in love before that happened and had both said i love you. We have now been together 8 1/2 years and will celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary in April. I can't imagine my life without him as he is my best friend and the person i love most in the world.

So YES it can happen.

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 10:29

Yes it is possible

[Deleted User] · 19/02/08 - 10:35

You can fall for someone online before you meet them. I have. You get to know someone by talking a lot to them. I met my OH online and the first time we ever spoke on the phone it was for 5 hours, there was not one silent embarrasing moment between us and there never has been. It was a bonus that she's absolutely gorgeous too. We've now met a couple of times and I love her very very much. We get on really really well and it's a really good relationship

Hey there!

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