Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 3)

16667697172149

Comments

  • DylanCatDylanCat Posts: 28
    Forum Member
    Liz's treatment of those she considers her inferiors is obnoxious. I too dislike dealing with foreign call centre staff as I am deaf and find some accents difficult to understand, but ask politely to deal with someone else or be transferred to a UK centre. It works. I work as a checkout cashier in a supermarket and Liz would be the customer from hell. I am experienced enough to be able to stand up to abusive bullies,but many are'nt. Does she realise that a cashier would be perfectly within her/his rights to refuse to serve her,indeed she could well be barred? Oh dear, I hope I have'nt given her an idea for another ridiculous rant - ' How the nasty chechout assistant in her polyester uniform had me ejected from (insert name of any large supermarket). Why? Why?'
  • vampyrevampyre Posts: 613
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Are Sri Lankans out of fashion does anyone know? Haven't heard about them asking for loyalty cards etc. of late?
  • Paula PanzerPaula Panzer Posts: 297
    Forum Member
    Oh dear. The Diary today features 1) yet another sick animal (and how long will she drag out the suffering of a 15-y-o collie when the fits get really bad?) 2) I didn't go skiing for Christmas with my famous boyfriend 3) the married man texted me so, with Nic's encouragement, I've booked a flight to see him 4) poor, poor me.....

    No change there, then.
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Oh dear. The Diary today features 1) yet another sick animal (and how long will she drag out the suffering of a 15-y-o collie when the fits get really bad?) 2) I didn't go skiing for Christmas with my famous boyfriend 3) the married man texted me so, with Nic's encouragement, I've booked a flight to see him 4) poor, poor me.....

    No change there, then.

    Man, Stevie Wonder could see the inconsistencies in that. :mad:
  • Amused HarpyAmused Harpy Posts: 66
    Forum Member
    Didn't she say she spent Christmas Day with her elderly mother? She seems to have contradicted herself again.

    I had a feeling she would fleetingly refer to both the FRS and SAMM when readers became disenchanted with reading about sick animal stories but it seems they are all getting an airing at the same time now. In fact, it looks like the SAMM will play a large part in her fantasy stories for
    quite some time. It's utterly ridiculous because in last week's Daily Mail she was looking for a knight in shining armour and mentioning her imaginary rock star in quite favourable terms.

    Now she's supposed to be pursuing the SAMM after receiving a rather ordinary text message. She'll spin this out for as long as she thinks she can get away with it.

    No doubt she thinks her readers are as deluded as she is.::rolleyes:
  • teacup333teacup333 Posts: 211
    Forum Member
    I take it that the 'Isobel' referred to is her partner in her wholefoods business venture.

    A word to the wise, Liz - if you're trying to get a business off the ground, you don't go swanning off to Australia via S America for god knows how long. The tea leaves tell me that before long we'll be in for, 'How my business failed (through no fault of my own, of course :rolleyes:) and now I'm bankrupt AGAIN!! boo-hoo...'
  • Lorelei LaFleurLorelei LaFleur Posts: 4,504
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Oh dear. The Diary today features 1) yet another sick animal (and how long will she drag out the suffering of a 15-y-o collie when the fits get really bad?) 2) I didn't go skiing for Christmas with my famous boyfriend 3) the married man texted me so, with Nic's encouragement, I've booked a flight to see him 4) poor, poor me.....

    No change there, then.

    She says she's like Sarah Lund.
    No you're not Liz.
    She's admirable, good at her job and more real than you.
  • Paula PanzerPaula Panzer Posts: 297
    Forum Member
    Now she's supposed to be pursuing the SAMM after receiving a rather ordinary text message. She'll spin this out for as long as she thinks she can get away with it.

    No doubt she thinks her readers are as deluded as she is.::rolleyes:

    Indeed - that's the sort of casual text most people would send to someone they know vaguely, including signing off with love, especially as a new year greeting. And that following the incredible text message from Isobel. Someone recently (ccmc?) commented that her texts sound unrealistic. Now, I'm one of those who doesn't use txt spk, but even to my eyes the one she quotes would have been a bit much to send in one text.

    But then she's always come across as believing her readers are deluded.
  • DylanCatDylanCat Posts: 28
    Forum Member
    I feel sorry for the poor,bewildered old bitch (but not for Liz, who is more barking than her dogs)
  • cathrincathrin Posts: 4,968
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Just when you think it can't get any worse, eh?! :) Today's Diary is beyond parody. It starts off with some sick-dog tales to make sure we remember Liz is an animal-lover and therefore exempt from criticism for bad behaviour, even if she's arranging a "shag-palace" (charming!) hotel room to meet a married man with tiny children.

    Then we get the now-customary ludicrously long, perfectly-crafted speeches via text message (I agree with the post earlier re this...no-one ever, ever constructs lavish sentences like this in a text message!), telling her how wonderful she is. Apparently she's now "wealthy", even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Bit of a turnaround surely?

    Then, of course, we get the conflicting-with-other-things-she's-written RS/SAMM babblings. I wish she'd make her mind up whether she's blissfully part of a couple with the RS or not. In her "I want to be swept off my feet" article the other day, she actually seemed to change her mind halfway through the article: one minute she was in a relationship with her dream man, the next she was bemoaning her manless state! (It's not even the first time she's meandered from single to loved-up within a few paragraphs!)

    And finally we get the jaw-droppingly offensive "planning to go and meet the married man in hotel room" stuff. Apparently it's all OK to do this, despite the wife and kids, because hey, he's not happy! Oh, that's all right then!
  • vampyrevampyre Posts: 613
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Vile though he is, I'm sure Nirpal could possibly have felt unhappy at times with his perfect spouse.
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    cathrin wrote: »
    Just when you think it can't get any worse, eh?! :) Today's Diary is beyond parody. It starts off with some sick-dog tales to make sure we remember Liz is an animal-lover and therefore exempt from criticism for bad behaviour, even if she's arranging a "shag-palace" (charming!) hotel room to meet a married man with tiny children.

    Then we get the now-customary ludicrously long, perfectly-crafted speeches via text message (I agree with the post earlier re this...no-one ever, ever constructs lavish sentences like this in a text message!), telling her how wonderful she is. Apparently she's now "wealthy", even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Bit of a turnaround surely?

    Then, of course, we get the conflicting-with-other-things-she's-written RS/SAMM babblings. I wish she'd make her mind up whether she's blissfully part of a couple with the RS or not. In her "I want to be swept off my feet" article the other day, she actually seemed to change her mind halfway through the article: one minute she was in a relationship with her dream man, the next she was bemoaning her manless state! (It's not even the first time she's meandered from single to loved-up within a few paragraphs!)

    And finally we get the jaw-droppingly offensive "planning to go and meet the married man in hotel room" stuff. Apparently it's all OK to do this, despite the wife and kids, because hey, he's not happy! Oh, that's all right then!

    It would be even more offensive if a single syllable of it were true. :rolleyes:
  • CyanideCindyCyanideCindy Posts: 495
    Forum Member
    Today's Diary is dreadful.
    The inconsistencies and poor writing (eg the impossibly long text) must surely be deliberate, written purely to get hits to the Mail/MOS site. I'm not a writer, but surely even the most junior journalist would have proof read that and realised it's nonsensical.
    Liz has been a journalist for how long - 30 years? She's taking the piss.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
    Forum Member
    Why is she even going to Australia, regardless of route/ shag palaces/ wealth, power (seriously? Arse up much?) etc, she says it is to visit her sister and nieces. Week before last none of her family spoke to her....maybe they have been won round by her compassion in not spending Christmas skiing with a FRS and instead spending it with a fake dog she sometimes pretends is their mum?
  • StressMonkeyStressMonkey Posts: 13,347
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Why is she even going to Australia, regardless of route/ shag palaces/ wealth, power (seriously? Arse up much?) etc, she says it is to visit her sister and nieces. Week before last none of her family spoke to her....maybe they have been won round by her compassion in not spending Christmas skiing with a FRS and instead spending it with a fake dog she sometimes pretends is their mum?

    If I had a sister like Liz I probably wouldn't read what she wrote after the first three or four dozen articles. Mostly through shame.

    But, there are a lot of far worse things that family can do to you than Liz (with her zero credability) outing you as a drunk or claiming you as a sibling.

    Sadly I don't think Australia is going to be good for her. While they are a lovely bunch (all 22.5 million) they have a sterio type of being somewhat brusk that is largely earned. Yet they have a charm that goes hand in hand. They'll call a spade a spade, but tell you it's a pretty bloody good spade.

    While Liz is discourteously blunt (the very definition of brusk) she can not take it. Ozzie charm or no.
  • fitnessqueenfitnessqueen Posts: 5,185
    Forum Member
    Why is she even going to Australia, regardless of route/ shag palaces/ wealth, power (seriously? Arse up much?) etc, she says it is to visit her sister and nieces. Week before last none of her family spoke to her....maybe they have been won round by her compassion in not spending Christmas skiing with a FRS and instead spending it with a fake dog she sometimes pretends is their mum?

    Must stop reading this at work- snorted loudly in front of the boss....:o
  • SeabirdSeabird Posts: 1,048
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Why is she even going to Australia, regardless of route/ shag palaces/ wealth, power (seriously? Arse up much?) etc, she says it is to visit her sister and nieces. Week before last none of her family spoke to her....QUOTE]


    Well, without doubt it will be a freebie, it WON'T be a holiday, because Liz doesn't take holidays of course. It will give her several articles, the trauma of going through airport check-in/security. Not being upgraded to first-class. Families with small children daring to travel on the same plane as her. And God help the person sat next to her who eats meat in her prescence. She's going at the hottest time of the year there so there's another whinge, the women will be soooo unstylish, surely they should be wearing pantyhose and full makeup despite the heat. She will slag off her sister and family and un-earth some more family skeletons. Still, at least she's got the joy of trying to break up someone's marriage and family to look forward to on the way back. Class act our Liz.
  • fitnessqueenfitnessqueen Posts: 5,185
    Forum Member
    Seabird wrote: »
    Why is she even going to Australia, regardless of route/ shag palaces/ wealth, power (seriously? Arse up much?) etc, she says it is to visit her sister and nieces. Week before last none of her family spoke to her....QUOTE]


    Well, without doubt it will be a freebie, it WON'T be a holiday, because Liz doesn't take holidays of course. It will give her several articles, the trauma of going through airport check-in/security. Not being upgraded to first-class. Families with small children daring to travel on the same plane as her. And God help the person sat next to her who eats meat in her prescence. She's going at the hottest time of the year there so there's another whinge, the women will be soooo unstylish, surely they should be wearing pantyhose and full makeup despite the heat. She will slag off her sister and family and un-earth some more family skeletons. Still, at least she's got the joy of trying to break up someone's marriage and family to look forward to on the way back. Class act our Liz.

    I wonder if security will make her take her Laboutins off again and then refuse to give her silk slippers to wear so her feet have to touch the same floor as the feet of other lower beings...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
    Forum Member
    Noooo! Not the floor! She will be cursed if she has to stand on floor that others have stood upon, possibly in Primark socks! If she doesn't get off with the SAMM it will probably be due to lower class footrot that the horrible security robots deliberately infected her with because they are so jealous of her, aren't they? Aren't they? Nic will have to make an emergency dash to Peru bearing a Louis Vuitton suitcase of Homeopathic lamisil. And then bereft of Nic's dubious care, many animals never before mentioned will all die horribly and Liz will have wasted her knee wax and teeth steam and it will be just like when nirpal did, well anything really, and it will all be the fault of the nasty foreigners at security who clearly discriminated against her for her lack of feral children and it is all so unfair and none of it is her fault ever, ever, ever, ever!!!!!!
  • DylanCatDylanCat Posts: 28
    Forum Member
    I would pay to see the old bat in full on rant mode being handcuffed and sat on by airport security. I don't think she would though,like most bullies she is very brave in print,on the phone or when dealing with someone she thinks can't answer back. Face to face with someone who is used to dealing with abuse..............don't think so.
  • fitnessqueenfitnessqueen Posts: 5,185
    Forum Member
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1206187/LIZ-JONES-MOANS-About-airport-security-ruining-holiday-Angelinas-crime-fashion.html
    Second, they ask me to remove my shoes, despite the fact I normally travel in Havaiana flip-flops, in which it is impossible to secrete bombs or sharp implements.

    Now, I don't really do walking on nylon carpet that has been trodden on by myriad members of the public.

    I have, in the past, just stood there, asking for a white pair of spa slippers, to no avail.


    For anyone who thought I was being far-fetched about the shoe removal.....
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
    Forum Member
    To quote the vile Littlejohn 'you couldn't make it up'....
  • Paula PanzerPaula Panzer Posts: 297
    Forum Member

    This was another holiday for the woman who never takes them. Does she really think her readers, who all have to suffer the same indignities without being issued with white spa slippers (eh? she thinks she can even specify the colour?) and don't travel in sensitive Yves Saint Laurent jackets, will sympathise with her? No wonder the Moans got pulled.
  • teacup333teacup333 Posts: 211
    Forum Member

    this has clearly be written in absentia by the patented Liz Jones Article Generator - just type in a few key terms, like, 'Yves Saint Laurent', 'horrid plastic tray', 'Marc Jacobs', 'nylon carpet', 'white spa slippers' -.press 'Enter' - and job done! :D
  • astorastor Posts: 575
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Seabird wrote: »
    Sadly Astor has demonstrated that it seems to be impossible to get a serious viewpoint on the merits of Liz's articles. I think most of us almost feel sorry for Liz on a personal level, she is genuinely troubled and the Mail are encouraging her demented rantings, what we are discussing is the vitriol, lies and personal attacks that make up most of Liz's prolific outpourings. Her supporter/s seem very passionate about defending her but lack the ability to rationally explain why they admire her and why she is so misunderstood without resorting to playground speak. I honestly don't think anything has ever been written on this forum that isn't true about Liz's offensive witterings, we merely point out and question the many inacuracies of them. Again, we welcome anyone who can state clearly and logically why we have got her so very, very, wrong.

    I think I have said quite clearly, that I just enjoy reading her columns, because they are quite fun easy reading on a Sunday morning. As I've already said, I take everything with a pinch of salt. I really don't feel the need to dissect her every word and ask for a pat on the back for catching her out !

    I just assume it's all a bit embellished !

    Re "playground speak" this column does itself proud with delightful comments like "mad old bat ", "raddled old hag " " there's more sh*t in her columns than in a public convenience ".And more...

    Playground speak at it's best I'd say.

    Which is all absolutely fine. This is hardly the Literary Review after all - just a bit of snidey chat on an internet showbiz discussion forum.
This discussion has been closed.