what's your favourite light bulb joke?
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how many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
one.
one.
0
[Deleted User]
Posts: 3,787 [Deleted User]
Posts: 3,787 [Deleted User]
Posts: 3,787
Comments
None, we all live in eternal darkness.
Let me get back to you on that !
ONE FOR CHRISTS SAKES <sobs>
Just one and they don't have to unscrew it. They just hold onto the bulb, stay still and the world revolves around them.
My favourit Watt ?
Ten. One to change the bulb. Nine to stand around and say "I could have done that".
A: More guns
How many members of the royal family does it tae to change a lightbulb?
None - surely that comes under the duties of Silver Lightbulb in Waiting?
Five....
One to point out the same bulb has already been changed 20 times before.
One to claim bulbs don't last like they used to since the recent influx of cheap Eastern European imports.
One to bemoan the lack of basic household electrical skills amongst the modern youth.
One to ask why Muslims aren't interested in helping to change our light bulbs.
And one to find a Daily Mail link about a family of 6 who've never changed a light bulb, as the government moves them to a new council house every time one blows.
(the light remains unchanged, as the project goes wildly off-course)
You forgot the one who blames the last Government for the fact the light bulb has to be changed in the first place.
And the one who asks "shouldn't this be moved to Chatter?"
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's a trick question, feminists change f.ck all.
None. The bulb is both changed and not changed at the same time but opening the door will collapse the wave function to tell you which one it is.
One . Two. One two three four.
How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?
One . Two. One . Two.
How many AVTECHS does it take to change a light bulb?
None ! Avtech is not afraid of the dark
BECAUSE IT JUST BLOODY DOES, OK?!?!
2 - 1 to change the bulb and 1 to sing about how good the old one was!
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.
Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."
One
How many dyslexic Germans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Nein
Unless the lightbulb is in the kitchen, a woman has no business changing light bulbs and should leave it to a man.
You forgot ' and one to point out that if you don't like it,don't watch it.Simples'. :rolleyes:;)
Seven
One to change the lightbulb
Two to claim that they are bored before he gets it out of the box.
Two to claim it wasn't as good as it they had read about it and who in God's name decided to let the person who changed it change it.
One to say that it was a brilliant changing of the light bulb and anyone who doesn't think so is just trolling.
One to say he can say what he wants and who appointed you as the moderator.
Just one, but he will not change it in a boat, he will not change it on a goat!
He will not change it far and wide, he will not change it as a bride!
He will not change it on a beach, he will not change it with a Sneech!
He will not change it here nor there. . .
In fact, he will not change one anywhere!
0.999999999........