Is suicide selfish?

Hershal_Greene · 03/08/15 - 00:12

Heavy topic but is it their right to die?

Blackjack Davy · 03/08/15 - 00:16

Depends, if you have terminal cancer and no-one to care about you then I can see it as a viable option.

If you're young with a wife and young family then definitely yes, imagine the hell they're going to go through.

reglip · 03/08/15 - 00:20

Its only selfish by the purest definition, they lack consideration of the people close to them. But people who commit suicide, for the most part, are not mentally stable and are unable to consider the effect it will have on someone else. They are completely tied up in their depression and unable to behave any other way than selfishly. They shouldnt be judged on this shortcoming, it isnt their fault

[Deleted User] · 03/08/15 - 00:21

It is selfish but then in another sense isn't it selfish for people to expect depressed people to stay alive just for their own satisfaction?

BlueEyedMrsP · 03/08/15 - 00:24

People who are in distress (mentally unwell, depressed) are often seeking a way to end their pain, they don't want to be a burden anymore. They might feel their family is better off without them. That's not selfish. The sad thing is though, the family is left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of it. After 6 months my son's suicide still makes no sense. Probably never will. I do not think he was selfish though, just in a lot of emotional pain and unable to reach out for help.

TARDIS Blue · 03/08/15 - 00:32

BlueEyedMrsP wrote: »

People who are in distress (mentally unwell, depressed) are often seeking a way to end their pain, they don't want to be a burden anymore. They might feel their family is better off without them. That's not selfish. The sad thing is though, the family is left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of it. After 6 months my son's suicide still makes no sense. Probably never will. I do not think he was selfish though, just in a lot of emotional pain and unable to reach out for help.

I'm sorry for your loss.

FWIW I do not see it as selfish, just a sign that the deceased wasn't in a rational frame of mind when they made the decision. It's tragic all around.

Dangermoose · 03/08/15 - 00:33

Yes and no.

This is something I genuinely struggle with as I can see it from both sides.

BadLadAsh · 03/08/15 - 00:42

Dangermoose wrote: »

Yes and no.

This is something I genuinely struggle with as I can see it from both sides.

Same, I do see it as selfish to the people left behind but I can understand why someone would want to commit suicide, where they can't see a way out. We can't and shouldn't judge people who do commit suicide because we don't know what was going on in their heads and the turmoil they was going through.

BadLadAsh · 03/08/15 - 00:42

BlueEyedMrsP wrote: »

People who are in distress (mentally unwell, depressed) are often seeking a way to end their pain, they don't want to be a burden anymore. They might feel their family is better off without them. That's not selfish. The sad thing is though, the family is left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of it. After 6 months my son's suicide still makes no sense. Probably never will. I do not think he was selfish though, just in a lot of emotional pain and unable to reach out for help.

Sorry to hear that

BlueEyedMrsP · 03/08/15 - 00:44

TARDIS Blue wrote: »

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you. x

I can see how some would think it's selfish, if the person in question had young children who depended on them. However, I'm not sure that any meaningful suicide prevention would be to guilt that person into staying alive for someone else's sake. I think the way forward is to have open and frank discussion about suicide, depression, and mental illness. To chalk it up to selfishness with no further discussion gets us nowhere.

AaronWx · 03/08/15 - 00:44

Absolutely not.

Dangermoose · 03/08/15 - 00:50

BadLadAsh wrote: »

Same, I do see it as selfish to the people left behind but I can understand why someone would want to commit suicide, where they can't see a way out. We can't and shouldn't judge people who do commit suicide because we don't know what was going on in their heads and the turmoil they was going through.

I know. I try to imagine what kind of place they must be at in their heads to be able to do it. Many do genuinely think their loved ones would be better off without them. But my own opinion does still tear me in two cos I know first hand what those left behind go through.

lemoncurd · 03/08/15 - 00:51

I once saw a prawn kill itself.....was awful.

edit: oops, sorry. Misread the thread title.

Muze · 03/08/15 - 00:54

It's usually the end result of a serious problem that has been poorly treated.

i can assure you all, it's not a feeling anyone would choose!

TARDIS Blue · 03/08/15 - 00:54

BlueEyedMrsP wrote: »

Thank you. x

I can see how some would think it's selfish, if the person in question had young children who depended on them. However, I'm not sure that any meaningful suicide prevention would be to guilt that person into staying alive for someone else's sake. I think the way forward is to have open and frank discussion about suicide, depression, and mental illness. To chalk it up to selfishness with no further discussion gets us nowhere.

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

idlewilde · 03/08/15 - 01:15

My relative killed himself in 2009. Blew his brains out with his rifle in the back garden.

Misanthropy_83 · 03/08/15 - 01:26

KEZTHENUTTYBABE wrote: »

It is selfish but then in another sense isn't it selfish for people to expect depressed people to stay alive just for their own satisfaction?

I feel like I'm staying alive for other peoples satisfaction.

EbonyHamster · 03/08/15 - 01:26

Yes..

Michellerlz · 03/08/15 - 01:40

No, I don't think they are selfish. As someone who knew a young lad who committed suicide recently I feel it's incredibly sad that he felt that was his only option and couldn't talk to anyone and nobody knew how he was feeling. But I certainly don't think of him as selfish neither do his family and friends everyone is just sad they couldn't do anything.

Hershal_Greene · 03/08/15 - 02:00

EbonyHamster wrote: »

Yes..

Not been here long but I get the impression you like attention even if is negative?

TeganRhan · 03/08/15 - 02:05

Talk about jumping off the back of another thread. Either way I'd say no. Yes to those of us left behind it may seem so but really really think about it. Think of you were the one killing themselves. Literally take 3 mins. Just three. Imagine if that were your last three minutes on earth, and no matter what you'd die after it. Those killing themselves aren't thinking about themselves for godness sakes. They're in a dark place thinking what they're doing is best for everyone else. In those three minutes if you do it you may get a wiff of how terrifying it would be for them. Yet in the back of your mind you know you won't die. They don't have that safety net. Can you imagine what a place you'd have to be in mentally to actually properly do that? Really? And you call it selfish. Hell I think about it every day but I've one thing keeping me going. My mother had to burry her younger sister (cancer) two years back, my Nan her daughter. No matter how much I long it I know that's not the order of things. Some don't get that chance or are so lost in depression they just don't care. I say don't care cause it's simply that. I don't care about A LOT.

BadLadAsh · 03/08/15 - 02:06

Hershal_Greene wrote: »

Not been here long but I get the impression you like attention even if is negative?

My thoughts exactly, I was gonna reply but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Not that I'm saying it's wrong for her to say it's selfish but I like you have noticed the attention seeking.

Muze · 03/08/15 - 02:09

Hershal_Greene wrote: »

Not been here long but I get the impression you like attention even if is negative?

Surely that's the same kind of judgment the labels people who commit suicide as selfish.

We are are all on out own journey, we all have a past.....:)

TeganRhan · 03/08/15 - 02:14

Hershal_Greene wrote: »

Not been here long but I get the impression you like attention even if is negative?

Ah I would no worry, she's wrong. Her wee hamsters would happily eat her if it so happened. I belive they call it the circle of life in the lion king.

Muze · 03/08/15 - 02:17

TeganRhan wrote: »

Ah I would no worry, she's wrong. Her wee hamsters would happily eat her if it so happened. I belive they call it the circle of life in the lion king.

That's awful.....

TeganRhan · 03/08/15 - 02:20

Muze wrote: »

That's awful.....

It's ok, they'll work it off on the hamster wheel.

Hey there!

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