Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)

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  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    Long time reader but never posted in here before! I think I've managed to read through every post over the past few weeks in this thread so now I've finally caught up I thought I'd say Hi :D

    Bloody hell, do you mean this thread or this plus the other 9 parts??? Well done either way :eek: :eek: And welcome! Pull up a seat and enjoy a pint of bacon fat! :D
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    kiviraat wrote: »
    Pull up a seat and enjoy a pint of bacon fat! :D

    That made me laugh! :D:D

    Perhaps Phil could market it as a cocktail with a SmartPrice sausage as a swizzle stick and a cocktail umbrella made of bacon? ;)
  • lozengerlozenger Posts: 4,881
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    That made me laugh! :D:D

    Perhaps Phil could market it as a cocktail with a SmartPrice sausage as a swizzle stick and a cocktail umbrella made of bacon? ;)

    You know back in the day we had innumerable suggestions for Chawner endorsed merchandise on here, they could have had a field day - there were ideas for Chawner Easter Eggs which wouldn't need much changing shape - obviously we had the naked calendar idea - shots with tasteful props like Hot Cross Buns, trifle & sausages, to cover the naughty bits - a Sam doll that cried, an Emma doll that smoked, and an Aud doll that snored (or farted) A Phil doll that didn't do anything, Snowstorms, Hairdressing dolls, cakes, gym equipment, books, you name it...Even Jenny the dog could have endorsed healthy dog food..!

    The pint of fat with a cocktail sausage is boss!! Why isn't their agent (if they even exist) doing all of this?
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    Do you remember the suggestion that we paint Audrey orange and stick her in the window for Halloween, still makes me chuckle when I think of her nodding away.
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    lozenger wrote: »
    You know back in the day we had innumerable suggestions for Chawner endorsed merchandise on here, they could have had a field day - there were ideas for Chawner Easter Eggs which wouldn't need much changing shape - obviously we had the naked calendar idea - shots with tasteful props like Hot Cross Buns, trifle & sausages, to cover the naughty bits - a Sam doll that cried, an Emma doll that smoked, and an Aud doll that snored (or farted) A Phil doll that didn't do anything, Snowstorms, Hairdressing dolls, cakes, gym equipment, books, you name it...Even Jenny the dog could have endorsed healthy dog food..!

    The pint of fat with a cocktail sausage is boss!! Why isn't their agent (if they even exist) doing all of this?

    I'd love to be their agent! I'd have all of this out on the shelves faster than Dane Bower's toe :D
    greengran wrote: »
    Do you remember the suggestion that we paint Audrey orange and stick her in the window for Halloween, still makes me chuckle when I think of her nodding away.

    Scaring off all the kids so that they can eat all the selection packs of sweets that were meant for the kids :D (obviously bobbing for apples is banned in their house as well :P)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    If they think pears taste funny, then how do they think apples taste?!
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Well Halloween is only a few weeks away, so it's time to work on the Audrey pumpkins. I thought the idea of having a pumpkin in the window was to indicate you are happy for trick or treaters to come a-knocking? However, I like the idea of having a malevolent, orange painted Aud in the window and I will endeavour to carve my pumpkin like a Chawner.

    I usually make the pumpkin innards into soup, but I think this year I shall deep fry them in lard and make some kind of pumpkin chips.:D
  • LillyleiLillylei Posts: 382
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    Posting to stop it slipping off the front page.

    Has anyone else noticed that Aud seems to find everything painfull? When she tried to turn on the tv with her foot but moreso when the girls are doing her hair/make up.

    Does she really find it painfull or is it just a natural reaction to anything (like dla assesments) to enhance how ill they all are?
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    I think she probably has a lot of aches and pains due to her weight, she's only 5 foot tall and weighs more than twice what she should do. I expect her joints are groaning in protest every time she puts any pressure on them:(
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    On a brighter note, I've found a cake that has obviously been made to welcome the Chawners to Japan, for their new reality show.

    http://www.funny-games.biz/images/pictures/1366-shit-cake.jpg

    I'm not fluent in Japanese but I think the characters spell out "Welcome Chawners, Endurance Awaits!"

    :D:D
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    It's the Starlight Hike this weekend, are we taking bets on whether the Chawns turn up? Emma has posted that she has bronchitis but is going to do the hike if it kills her.Phil says they all have bronchitis, I think that's their get out plan.Can't wait fot the triumphant post on Sunday to say they've done it. Ha!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,681
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    How have they all managed to get bronchitis? They never go anywhere to risk catching it. :confused::D
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    EuroChris wrote: »
    How have they all managed to get bronchitis? They never go anywhere to risk catching it. :confused::D

    Being in a house all the time that never gets cleaned, full of dirty pets that never get cleaned either probably plays a big part.

    *germs* :p;)
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    I wonder if Emma has given up smoking since getting bronchitis? Have they really got bronchitis though, or is it just a bit of a cough?

    Sam has had so much sick leave, I wonder if she's still working at the pizza place?
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    I wonder if Emma has given up smoking since getting bronchitis? Have they really got bronchitis though, or is it just a bit of a cough?

    Sam has had so much sick leave, I wonder if she's still working at the pizza place?

    It's just a blind so they can say they're too ill to do the hike.:eek:
  • lozengerlozenger Posts: 4,881
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    greengran wrote: »
    It's just a blind so they can say they're too ill to do the hike.:eek:

    They're not ill are they.?? Why-ever didn't they mention it?
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    lozenger wrote: »
    They're not ill are they.?? Why-ever didn't they mention it?

    It's because they don't like to make a fuss . They like to keep themselves to themselves and not ask for sympathy.
  • ElliotSaundersElliotSaunders Posts: 403
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    kiviraat wrote: »
    Bloody hell, do you mean this thread or this plus the other 9 parts??? Well done either way :eek: :eek: And welcome! Pull up a seat and enjoy a pint of bacon fat! :D

    Thank you! Just this one! I'm not quite that sad....yet!:p Oooo! Bacon fat! does it come with a slice of bread too dunk in it?:D
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Thank you! Just this one! I'm not quite that sad....yet!:p Oooo! Bacon fat! does it come with a slice of bread too dunk in it?:D
    Of course. Fried bread with a side dish of smart price sausages. Calorie free if you eat them standing up.
  • orangesmartieorangesmartie Posts: 3,709
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    Does anyone know if/when bio will be repeating the three series? I still haven't seen the early eps of S1 and i'm in need of the dietary and exercise motivation that the Chawns give me. I am very grateful to them. They have inspired me to lose 50lb so far, but without them on my screen, my devotion is waning and I am sinking into Chawn like ways.

    Actually, i stopped watching them during the last re-run because they made me so cross, but they do have their uses.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 304
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    Does anyone know if/when bio will be repeating the three series? I still haven't seen the early eps of S1 and i'm in need of the dietary and exercise motivation that the Chawns give me. I am very grateful to them. They have inspired me to lose 50lb so far, but without them on my screen, my devotion is waning and I am sinking into Chawn like ways.

    Actually, i stopped watching them during the last re-run because they made me so cross, but they do have their uses.

    I don't have the Bio channel so I've only seen what people have put on youtube. Is the series anywhere?

    A smart price sausage and a pork-pie milkshake to anyone who knows!:D
  • AlberonAlberon Posts: 482
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    We haven't had the usual 'hav a gud weakend' messages from Phil yet on Facebook, but he has posted another link to the Starlight Hike in Clitheroe with the cryptic message
    starts tonight

    Just like the last time he posted a link he's not actually claiming any of the Chawners will be there.

    I'm sure his Facebook 'friends' will chase him for photos and a report of the night, just as I'm sure they'll all be ignored.
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Does anyone know if/when bio will be repeating the three series? I still haven't seen the early eps of S1 and i'm in need of the dietary and exercise motivation that the Chawns give me. I am very grateful to them. They have inspired me to lose 50lb so far, but without them on my screen, my devotion is waning and I am sinking into Chawn like ways.

    Actually, i stopped watching them during the last re-run because they made me so cross, but they do have their uses.
    50lbs weight loss!:eek: Blimey that is chawnertastic, well done.

    Is this any good? It looks like the series is available for free downloading.:)

    http://go.sky.com/vod/content/SKYENTERTAINMENT/content/seriesId/6e5d510681b39210VgnVCM1000002c04170a________/content/default/promoPage.do
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    Joey1985 wrote: »
    I don't have the Bio channel so I've only seen what people have put on youtube. Is the series anywhere?

    A smart price sausage and a pork-pie milkshake to anyone who knows!:D

    The few clips on YouTube are all that can be seen on the net..

    Don't think there's anywhere you can see the whole series.

    Sorry! :(

    EDIT: Just seen your post tenorlady. Tried to view that myself, but you have to be a Sky customer and I'm not......:(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 304
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    The few clips on YouTube are all that can be seen on the net..

    Don't think there's anywhere you can see the whole series.

    Sorry! :(

    EDIT: Just seen your post tenorlady. Tried to view that myself, but you have to be a Sky customer and I'm not......:(

    Oh well, not to worry, maybe it will be uploaded to 1channel.ch or something, one day.......

    Chunky fix denied:(
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