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Surrogacy
I wondered if any DS'ers had any experience of this. As many DS'ers will know me and Mr Shadow27 have been going through IVF and we are at a cross roads after our 6th cycle ended with a miscarriage in September.
We have just one frozen embryo left and have been told that the next step is to go through to egg collection and embryo fertilisation to see if there are chromosome disorders. We already know that my husband's little fellas need a map (!) and I need a daily cocktail of 11 meds plus 2 injections post transfer to carry a pregnancy. So it's proving very hard to realise our dreams of being parents. We are at a crossroads and have been pondering surrogacy as one of several options (the other being another go with IVF or donor egg/sperm depending on the outcome of the chromosome tests). Adoption is not for us for many reasons, not least that we've been through so much exposure during IVF I'm not sure that we feel capable of revealing more to social services.
We would be interested in hearing from anyone about it. I realise it's deeply personal so appreciate it's asking an awful lot so I am grateful for any replies. Thank you.
We have just one frozen embryo left and have been told that the next step is to go through to egg collection and embryo fertilisation to see if there are chromosome disorders. We already know that my husband's little fellas need a map (!) and I need a daily cocktail of 11 meds plus 2 injections post transfer to carry a pregnancy. So it's proving very hard to realise our dreams of being parents. We are at a crossroads and have been pondering surrogacy as one of several options (the other being another go with IVF or donor egg/sperm depending on the outcome of the chromosome tests). Adoption is not for us for many reasons, not least that we've been through so much exposure during IVF I'm not sure that we feel capable of revealing more to social services.
We would be interested in hearing from anyone about it. I realise it's deeply personal so appreciate it's asking an awful lot so I am grateful for any replies. Thank you.
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Comments
I don't suppose you'll get many experienced replies unfortunately.
My first thought would be that you would need to get a surrogate mother that had done it before. I would be worried about a first time volunteer who may go through the pregnancy and birth and decide to keep the child. Hormones are pretty powerful!
I hope you succeed eventually.
I don't think I'll get many replies but maybe someone know of someone who has and it's all useful.
He would understand and has mountains of money:)
I've read your story and know how much you want this.
Try anything!
Good luck, whatever you do.
Thanks moza
And mog123, who knows!
Hard doesn't even begin to cover it but it's between me and my husband when it's time to stop and not something I want to discuss on DS.
I live in a small village and a lady has just brought a little girl home from America..her daughter..I dont know all the ins and outs but do know mum is 50 and has 6 sons..dads sperm was used..the sad part of the story is about a month before baby was due the ladies husband died suddenly..she has still gone ahead and brought baby home..and although living in a village there has been lots and lots of idle gossip..my own feelings are how lovely that she has her husband living on in her daughter and her time must be taken up looking after little one that the grief has almost had to take a back seat and she has just had to get on and cope..a very sad story but also an uplifting one..they are a lovely family and have always been very supportive of their boys spending lotas of time taking them to sports etc..
I wish you all the luck in the world..I have got 3 sons..but it wasnt plain sailing and I know I would have taken any steps neccesary to be a mum so dont make decisions based on others opinions..do what is right for you x
I have thought long and hard about saying this. As someone who has been there and worn the T-shirt I think that there does come a point when you have to live your life for what is is rather than what you wish it could be. It may not be something you want to discuss on here but please don't put your life on hold for ever.
Sorry I should specify a surrogate mother was used..which is why I added this post..
I have also had friends offer to carry a child for me but I think with someone you know who will then keep knowing you and the child it would be a bit weird.
you probably have done research but here is the law surrounding it
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1985/49
and helpful websites
http://www.surrogacyuk.org/
http://www.surrogacy.org.uk/About_COTS.htm
http://www.britishsurrogacycentre.com/
with all the very best of luck to you whatever you decide.
Good luck Shadow xx
To surrogate a child which is biologically the natural parents, certainly for me, would not have the same emotional bond that a child which was genetically the surrogate carrier child. Do you know anyone who would be prepared to carry a child for you?......a family member perhaps?
Good luck Shadow, your quest for a child is well known on here and many of us have lived through your despair when things have not gone well. I wish you all the luck
Once again thanks a million for the replies. I think we're so exhausted by all the options it gets a bit muddled!
how do you feel about a donor?