12 year old son was drinking today
fluffybunyip
Posts: 4,909 Forum Member
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I don't know if I'm overreacting or not!
Earlier today, my son and two girls that he hangs around with came back to my house. The two girls were clearly drunk and admitted it. I phoned the dad of one, and he picked the girls up, and was going to tell the other mum. Later, I found out that my son had had some of the alcopops as well, just not as much.
I obviously don't want him to think it's ok, he was 12, drinking out in public with drinks that one of the girls had stolen from her mum's house. But I don't want to overreact either and make a hash of it. Has anyone any experiences or ideas that they could help out with?
My friend thinks getting him to drink something horrible like a teaspoon of his dad's whisky would be a good idea, whereas I'm more tempted to ground him.
Thanks in advance.
Earlier today, my son and two girls that he hangs around with came back to my house. The two girls were clearly drunk and admitted it. I phoned the dad of one, and he picked the girls up, and was going to tell the other mum. Later, I found out that my son had had some of the alcopops as well, just not as much.
I obviously don't want him to think it's ok, he was 12, drinking out in public with drinks that one of the girls had stolen from her mum's house. But I don't want to overreact either and make a hash of it. Has anyone any experiences or ideas that they could help out with?
My friend thinks getting him to drink something horrible like a teaspoon of his dad's whisky would be a good idea, whereas I'm more tempted to ground him.
Thanks in advance.
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Comments
And eh, I think making him drink whiskey's a bit pointless. That's not going to put him off alcopops as they taste completely different and this was probably only a one time thing. Most are going to try alcohol at some point, but I agree that 12 is too young to simply get away with it. I say ground him for like a day (I don't really know how grounding works as my parents never did it to me) or shout at him enough to scare him away from ever doing it again.
My sister once had to be sneaked out of a school window for drinking a considerably large amount of Cointreau. If she had been caught by the head teacher she would have been expelled. As it was the teacher that handled it was beyond understanding.
My best friend had to spend the remainder of her school years with the unfortunate nickname 7-Up after getting drunk at a house party aged 13.
If I remember correctly all of the above resulted in lengthy groundings. I don't remember any of them doing it again.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/HealthAndRelationships/ConcernedAbout/DG_183882
http://www.thecoolspot.gov/
http://www.jrf.org.uk/publications/teenage-drinking-cultures
Is that not what grounding is? Rather than watching TV and going out, you have to do chores. I would've thought a whole day of that would be enough punishment, but like I said I was never punished in that way as a child so I'm not exactly an expert.
Well either way he needs to learn that drinking isn't always "cool" and whilst perfectly fine in moderation, in a controlled environment, even at 12, that necking alcopops your friend took from home is neither. He probably realises it is bad, but is probably also at the age where he might want to try it and have more independence with his friends - none of this is (strictly) bad. However he needs to learn that it is dangerous.
There is always the argument that if you drink in a controlled environment from around that age you will potentially be less likely to drink outside that because you don't need to do anything to get a drink, you sometimes get one with a meal. Whether or not it is already too late for that is a different matter.
Part of me would be inclined to agree with your friend and say that if he gets some really disgusting alcohol or enough to make him puke up and have a sore head for a while he will realise the danger. Neat vodka is a lot more gross than whisky...
He let himself down, he let you down.
He is 12, he was curious, alcopops,, nice colours and a story to tell, return of school.
Don't demonise the drink or make it a mystery.
By the time they were 12 and older I was allowing our kids if they asked, they could have some wine at dinner or maybe a small beer.
We never made it a no go area, it was amazing how many rarely bothered, prefering pop but it was no big thing.
We took the attitude if any of our kids were going to drink, we would far rather them hanging their heads outside our windows or in the toilets bowls throwing up, then doing it on the sly in a back alley, in a neighbor hood and we didn't know where they were.
There were some paralytic moments but they were very rare.
1 week end into his 2nd week end grounding, sit down at dinner, pour yourself some wine or even a larger, pour him a glass too, same amount as yours, just do it say nothing, do it again, two-three days later, have an alcopop between you.
Whether you do that or not, don't demonise the drink, punish the irresponsibility and the theft, don't try scare stories, it was alcopops, he wasn't injecting.
although I do actually stand by the above in a somewhat immature way, I was actually brought up in cotton wool, with very little social life with others, which did not do me many favours when I grew older and gained a somewhat geek status and hence why I'm here, in these forums I suppose.
All that said, no criminal record and a good, secure life later, they (my parents) did not do a bad job I suppose.
I think another poster is right, talk to him about the dangers of alcohol, but don't demonise it, because it will only become more attractive to him. I would also ground him, making him drink whiskey is pointless he may like it, I liked Jack Daniels when I was young but don't anymore.
I understand British families are not keen on their kids drinking like I did, but I grew up between UK and Spain where it is quite normal to drink.
Children of a few days old should NOT be given alcohol.........
It is hardly quantitive research though is it.
My grandad smoked to he was 90.......never did him any harm.
It's not about research but voicing opinions/experience on a situation.
http://www.archive.official-documents.co.uk/document/cm41/4177/contents.htm
But your Grandad lived till he was 90.
Wouldn't that be a better lesson in dispair and mental illness?
But the advice is flawed.
It is one of those urban myths (dispelled by research) that giving alchol to children encourages responsible alcohol use.
Hi seacam,
Joining this forum would give him that particular lesson.
And now that the cork is out of the bottle so to speak, how you deal with it.
Wait until he is 16+ then let him drink.
Drinking got worse the older my peers got. Luckily I did not live in Canterbury so I missed out on it but a lot of my peers got drunk on the Dane John. When they were 15, a 12 year old came with them and drank too much and had to have his stomach pumped.
After that our year head went to all the off licences and told them not to supply to minors.
What was the quality of his life like though?