Do you know anyone who is always single?

AnnieBaker · 02/07/14 - 20:45

I used to know a girl at uni who never once had a single boyfriend or date the entire time we were there. Everyone else dated or at least had a few (or lots of) one-night-stands. She was average-looking, friendly and fun. But not very appealing to men I guess?

She is now married so something changed for her eventually.

I know a guy who has 100s of friends but has to my knowledge never actually been romantically involved with anyone. He has never shown any interest in anyone either. Sometimes he makes a comment about a girl being attractive and it takes me by surprise that he even thinks that way.

[Deleted User] · 02/07/14 - 20:46

Yes, me.

Louise32 · 02/07/14 - 20:50

AnnieBaker wrote: »

I used to know a girl at uni who never once had a single boyfriend or date the entire time we were there. Everyone else dated or at least had a few (or lots of) one-night-stands. She was average-looking, friendly and fun. But not very appealing to men I guess?

She is now married so something changed for her eventually.

I know a guy who has 100s of friends but has to my knowledge never actually been romantically involved with anyone. He has never shown any interest in anyone either. Sometimes he makes a comment about a girl being attractive and it takes me by surprise that he even thinks that way.

Or maybe she hadn't met anyone she was interested in.

Honestly single people don't have two heads!:D

I've been mostly single as the bloke's I've met have been arses.

Pumping Iron · 02/07/14 - 20:51

Off the top of my head, I don't think I do actually.

AnnieBaker · 02/07/14 - 20:56

Louise32 wrote: »

Or maybe she hadn't met anyone she was interested in.

Honestly single people don't have two heads!:D

I've been mostly single as the bloke's I've met have been arses.

I guess maybe she was just super-fussy about men?

But when you are a student and go out most nights like we did, you are going to meet so many people. Surely it's highly unlikely that for three years, she never met a guy she didn't quite fancy going on a date with?

Oml · 02/07/14 - 20:59

Yes, my uncle is permanently single but I've grown up with that, so it's doesn't really seem weird to me, especially as he is old now (I know age doesn't matter, but it does seem a bit more socially acceptable to be single when old)

However, I do have a friend from uni who was single the whole time which seemed really unusual at the time but then even more unusual that they're still single into their 30s. I understand there are all shades of sexual preferences/asexual etc but it does seem a bit weird when someone is chronically single for no apparent reason. But it's their life so as long as they're happy that's all that matters.

Louise32 · 02/07/14 - 21:00

AnnieBaker wrote: »

I guess maybe she was just super-fussy about men?

But when you are a student and go out most nights like we did, you are going to meet so many people. Surely it's highly unlikely that for three years, she never met a guy she didn't quite fancy going on a date with?

Maybe she met someone who didn't reciprocate the feelings or indeed had someone interested in her she wasn't interested in.

A lot of people settle for the sake of settling. Maybe she preferred not to or was unfortunate until meeting her husband.

There is nothing wrong with being single. Plenty of people are single.

alan29 · 02/07/14 - 21:03

Yes. I know several people who have always been single. And I know a few widows/widowers who aren't in the marketplace.

big mac · 02/07/14 - 21:03

Louise32 wrote: »

Maybe she met someone who didn't reciprocate the feelings or indeed had someone interested in her she wasn't interested in.

A lot of people settle for the sake of settling. Maybe she preferred not to or was unfortunate until meeting her husband.

This was said in another thread (not be me, although I was just about the only one who agreed with it). Just about every other poster ridiculed this opinion, but it makes sense. I see a number of people who I get the impression are in a relationship just because they want to be in a relationship, ANY relationship, rather than be single.

ThePerfectOne · 02/07/14 - 21:05

FANNY_ANNE wrote: »

Yes, me.

Me too

GeordiePaul · 02/07/14 - 21:08

Yes one of my best mates is single and has been for as long as I've known him (9 years). He's the father of a teenage lad and has, to my knowledge, only had one girlfriend,that being the mother of his child.

She's treat him like absolute crap, so although he's definitely attracted to women, in general he's not bothered about having a girlfriend or even pulling on a night out. Think he'd always rather get hammered. Saying that it would be nice for him to get lucky now and again.

Billy_Value · 02/07/14 - 21:11

FANNY_ANNE wrote: »

Yes, me.

sweet fanny anne

Jason · 02/07/14 - 21:11

Pumping Iron wrote: »

Off the top of my head, I don't think I do actually.

Right, you're chucked ..

To answer your question OP, yes, me. And I will remain that way as well.

trinity2002 · 02/07/14 - 21:11

I got to the age of 28 and decided I was fed up of being constantly psychoanalysed about being single and showing no interest in settling down with anyone, so I basically text a bloke I knew had the hots for me about 6 years previously and basically offered him a relationship....after never really having had one before! Once I made that decision I was determined to stick to it, and it ended up being 9 years of my life I'll never get back. In the end both the realisation that life was far too short, and that he'd used me just as much as I'd used him made me tell him it was over.

Certainly not the best years of my life, and all because I spent that much time listening to people telling me there was something wrong with me that I started to believe them.

tghe-retford · 02/07/14 - 21:11

Ask my friends, family and work colleagues and they'll all be able to name the same person who just happens to have the same name as I d... oh, wait.

[Deleted User] · 02/07/14 - 21:13

ThePerfectOne wrote: »

Me too

:).

[Deleted User] · 02/07/14 - 21:15

Billy_Value wrote: »

sweet fanny anne

Don't you start....

Louise32 · 02/07/14 - 21:16

big mac wrote: »

This was said in another thread (not be me, although I was just about the only one who agreed with it). Just about every other poster ridiculed this opinion, but it makes sense. I see a number of people who I get the impression are in a relationship just because they want to be in a relationship, ANY relationship, rather than be single.

I know people who've broken up and then few weeks later oh here's my new boyfriend.

Now ok granted maybe in some cases like that there was an affair going on or something but I do get the impression a lot of people are afraid of being alone.

Pumping Iron · 02/07/14 - 21:16

JasonWatkins wrote: »

Right, you're chucked ..

To answer your question OP, yes, me. And I will remain that way as well.

I was thinking of people I know in 'real life' not on DS, you silly billy.

Louise32 · 02/07/14 - 21:18

trinity2002 wrote: »

I got to the age of 28 and decided I was fed up of being constantly psychoanalysed about being single and showing no interest in settling down with anyone, so I basically text a bloke I knew had the hots for me about 6 years previously and basically offered him a relationship....after never really having had one before! Once I made that decision I was determined to stick to it, and it ended up being 9 years of my life I'll never get back. In the end both the realisation that life was far too short, and that he'd used me just as much as I'd used him made me tell him it was over.

Certainly not the best years of my life, and all because I spent that much time listening to people telling me there was something wrong with me that I started to believe them.

You should have ignored them.

I'm almost in my mid thirties and I can't stand the expectation that a lot of people have-namely by mid thirties one should be married with kids.

It's not for everyone.

Jason · 02/07/14 - 21:19

Pumping Iron wrote: »

I was thinking of people I know in 'real life' not on DS, you silly billy.

There's a "real life" ?

:o

MarzBar85 · 02/07/14 - 21:19

I'm like that. I flit between having a boyfriend and not wanting a relationship. It's led me into sticky situations, which I can laugh about with my friends (eventually!)

I'm glad I don't need a man on my arm to define who I am.

AnnieBaker · 02/07/14 - 21:19

trinity2002 wrote: »

I got to the age of 28 and decided I was fed up of being constantly psychoanalysed about being single and showing no interest in settling down with anyone, so I basically text a bloke I knew had the hots for me about 6 years previously and basically offered him a relationship....after never really having had one before! Once I made that decision I was determined to stick to it, and it ended up being 9 years of my life I'll never get back. In the end both the realisation that life was far too short, and that he'd used me just as much as I'd used him made me tell him it was over.

Certainly not the best years of my life, and all because I spent that much time listening to people telling me there was something wrong with me that I started to believe them.

it sounds like that relationship was probably doomed from the start. It's not the best start really, there should be a spark of attraction for both people ....

I don't think anyone has ever psychoanalysed or pressured either of the two people in my OP. I don't think anyone really mentioned anything about this girl at uni. I just vaguely remember waiting for the day she would finally tell us about a bloke she'd met last night ... and it never happened ....

Thinking about it now there's someone else in our family who has remained single and is now in her 60s. I think she did date quite a bit, but never met the right man

[Deleted User] · 02/07/14 - 21:21

Louise32 wrote: »

I know people who've broken up and then few weeks later oh here's my new boyfriend.

Now ok granted maybe in some cases like that there was an affair going on or something but I do get the impression a lot of people are afraid of being alone.

http://dreamerrambling.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/born-alone-die-alone/

tghe-retford · 02/07/14 - 21:22

Louise32 wrote: »

I know people who've broken up and then few weeks later oh here's my new boyfriend.

Now ok granted maybe in some cases like that there was an affair going on or something but I do get the impression a lot of people are afraid of being alone.

I know of people like that, the idea of being single casts so much fear into them that any option to avoid it is taken. People whom split up with someone, go out persistently and find an emergency soulmate within a week. Fear of the unknown I suppose.

I'm the exact opposite and I would be fearful of entering a new relationship, even going on a dating site strikes fear and something that I keep on putting off.

big mac · 02/07/14 - 21:24

Louise32 wrote: »

I know people who've broken up and then few weeks later oh here's my new boyfriend.

Now ok granted maybe in some cases like that there was an affair going on or something but I do get the impression a lot of people are afraid of being alone.

I think part of it is to do with social status. For want of a better phrase, it looks "cool" if you have a boy/girlfriend, especially when attending social occasions and things like that.

Hey there!

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