Hopefully also the demons that beset their grandmother and mother will leave this next generation alone.
I feel hopeful, Tom, Bob, Tom's parents etc appear very grounded & I think they'll do everything humanly possible to give those wee boys a "normal" upbringing.
I read it as both kids were with husband but youngest was dropped off on the Sunday?
- this is from the DM though!
I have just been reading about Methadone and Pregnancy / breastfeeding (God it makes for grim reading). Even if it was just Methadone both children would have been born addicted.
Why social services were not involved I do not know. I guess they were born in private hospitals where money can buy you silence.
Very disappointing, and makes a mockery of attachment parenting - well done Peaches !!
Correct me of I'm wrong but I thought Thomas's parents were Social Workers or involved in Social Sevices in some capacity?
Because people when they have children, want them to do well, and want them to have the things they didn't have themselves. You only had to look at the pictures she posted to see the love in her eyes for her children. She tried to be the best she could be for her children. Look, everyone does the best they can in life. And some people use drugs for whatever reason. Nobody wants to be addicted though. I understand she took methadone, so she tried to get off it. I've never done a drug in my life, only alcohol, but I understand that drugs change the brain. So I do not judge her for falling back into addiction. It is something I will never understand. But as a human being, I will not judge, because I too have things I fall back on when life becomes too much for me. Maybe it's food, maybe it's drink, maybe it's sex.. Point is, we all have something. For me, I chose to think the best of people and I know my own faults, so I will not judge her. She had an addiction, a terrible secret and she died because of it. If you think yourself to be so much better, as a person, see that there is nothing to be gained by condeming a young mother who lost her life by the crutch she had to get through life. I wish the best for her children. That is all.
What a lovely thing to say when you say you don't understand addiction,it's a pity there wasn't more like you willing to try and understand the power of addiction and the devastation it can cause
One of the points a lot of people seem to miss is why Peaches started taking heroin to begin with? She knew full well what it did to her mother- I'd have thought that would have been more then enough for her to stay away from it. Maybe she didn't choose to get addicted, but she still choose to start using despite seeing what happened to her mother, it's not like she was starting in ignorance of what it does. She saw it wreck her mother's life, but she still started using anyway- that's likely the reason why some people struggle to have sympathy.
What good are counsellors. She should have checked herself into a rehab clinic and stayed there.
Instead she was flouting the media pretending to be the worlds best mother.
Precisely! Most people when they are planning to start a family look at their lifestyle and decide where they can make improvements so that any child they bring into the world is as healthy as possible and so are it's parents. The NHS offer the same advice.
It may mean losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less alcohol, avoiding certain foods ..... These all sound pretty minor compare to not taking any sort of drugs.
She was only young and could have found the very best treatment available so that she was clean before starting a family. Any addiction can be beaten if people really want to do it.
Labouring over the details of her life/death is imo totally pointless at this stage. Really, do any of the circumstances matter now? She's dead, addiction won.
All anyone can hope now is that her family as a whole manage to move on and her little boys can grow up without this casting a long shadow over their lives. And if Peaches' death highlights the grim bleakness of addiction and makes people more sympathetic towards those who are struggling with it, then that at least would be a small, positive outcome.
One of the points a lot of people seem to miss is why Peaches started taking heroin to begin with? She knew full well what it did to her mother- I'd have thought that would have been more then enough for her to stay away from it. Maybe she didn't choose to get addicted, but she still choose to start using despite seeing what happened to her mother, it's not like she was starting in ignorance of what it does. She saw it wreck her mother's life, but she still started using anyway- that's likely the reason why some people struggle to have sympathy.
This is the bit I struggle with too. I understand if she had an addiction then that was a type of illness, and she might have been generically predisposed to addictive tendencies. But what makes someone take heroin in the first place, particularly when it killed their mother? There was a conscious choice that Peaches made somewhere along the line to say yes to hard drugs.
Now perhaps that in itself was part of a frailty, but there are lots of people online getting lots of kudos for saying: "the reactions to Peaches's death / cause of death show how little people understand addiction." They sit back and bask in the "I'm so understanding and not judgey" glow that they get from others... When really I think people are saying that first hit that Peaches took was (bar a nightmare forced drug consumption scenario) her choice. And the addiction flowed from there. I have made some very bad choices, but I like to think I'd say no to heroin. I don't even smoke after seeing what it's done to relatives. That doesn't make me any better a person than Peaches but I think people are allowed to point out that this was not an unstoppable train she found herself on here.
This is the bit I struggle with too. I understand if she had an addiction then that was a type of illness, and she might have been generically predisposed to addictive tendencies. But what makes someone take heroin in the first place, particularly when it killed their mother? There was a conscious choice that Peaches made somewhere along the line to say yes to hard drugs.
Now perhaps that in itself was part of a frailty, but there are lots of people online getting lots of kudos for saying: "the reactions to Peaches's death / cause of death show how little people understand addiction." They sit back and bask in the "I'm so understanding and not judgey" glow that they get from others... When really I think people are saying that first hit that Peaches took was (bar a nightmare forced drug consumption scenario) her choice. And the addiction flowed from there. I have made some very bad choices, but I like to think I'd say no to heroin. I don't even smoke after seeing what it's done to relatives. That doesn't make me any better a person than Peaches but I think people are allowed to point out that this was not an unstoppable train she found herself on here.
She strikes me as a bit flaky like she wanted to make a good impression esp with the attachment parenting bollocks.
That need to impress may have taken a dark turn if she was in a social setting with friends doing hard drugs.
Lets face it, the set she hangs out with are known for their "partying"
This is the bit I struggle with too. I understand if she had an addiction then that was a type of illness, and she might have been generically predisposed to addictive tendencies. But what makes someone take heroin in the first place, particularly when it killed their mother? There was a conscious choice that Peaches made somewhere along the line to say yes to hard drugs.
Now perhaps that in itself was part of a frailty, but there are lots of people online getting lots of kudos for saying: "the reactions to Peaches's death / cause of death show how little people understand addiction." They sit back and bask in the "I'm so understanding and not judgey" glow that they get from others... When really I think people are saying that first hit that Peaches took was (bar a nightmare forced drug consumption scenario) her choice. And the addiction flowed from there. I have made some very bad choices, but I like to think I'd say no to heroin. I don't even smoke after seeing what it's done to relatives. That doesn't make me any better a person than Peaches but I think people are allowed to point out that this was not an unstoppable train she found herself on here.
An unstoppable train is exactly what it was. Traumatised by the death of her mother, indulged by her father, allowed to run wild and have whatever she so desired, no discipline, no rules, no understanding of the real world, able to have whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, partying in every city she landed in and surrounded by hangers on and a vicious media set. Couple this with a probable addictive personality and a humongous sense of entitlement and I get the impression she felt she could do whatever she liked, even if that 'whatever' was what killed her mother.
Precisely! Most people when they are planning to start a family look at their lifestyle and decide where they can make improvements so that any child they bring into the world is as healthy as possible and so are it's parents. The NHS offer the same advice.
It may mean losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less alcohol, avoiding certain foods ..... These all sound pretty minor compare to not taking any sort of drugs.
She was only young and could have found the very best treatment available so that she was clean before starting a family. Any addiction can be beaten if people really want to do it.
Again, you are conviniently ignoring facts that she had been getting help for two and a half years, and was at a point recently before her death where she was clean and was lowering the levels of methadone she was taking.
I'm not even sure how you can compare avoiding certain foods to trying to get clean from heroin.
Addictions are never beaten. If you are an addict, you are always an addict.
I don't understand why people are saying she was "clean" when she was still taking Methadone, which is a substitute drug for heroin.
My husband and I encounter drug addicts and their children in our work and although we have sympathy for people who do get addicted, there are many complex reasons for this, as soon as they have children while still addicted then any sympathy we had completely flies out of the window. People say she loved her children, fact is she loved heroin more than her children and for it now to be revealed that she was on Methadone and chose to get pregnant shows what an irresponsible person she was. In my opinion her husband has to take some responsibility as well for bringing these two innocent children in to the world when he would know she was on Methadone.
Something has to be done to stop the cycle of these poor children being brought up by drug addicted parents, personally we would put contraceptive in the Methadone. This was discussed in Scotland but then there were cries of what about the human rights of the drug addicts, what about the human rights of the children they are bringing in to the world, they are far more important. You can just see what type of lives these poor children are going to have, they have virtually no chance, it breaks our hearts. We have no children and we wish we could take all of these children and give them a better life.
When like my husband you have to regularly go in to a drug addicts house and give them an injection to reverse a heroin overdose and there are children there some of the people who have sympathy for Peaches Geldof might change their mind about her. He feels sick to the pit of his stomach when he sees these poor children. There is no excuse for someone in her position who had plenty of money and family support to take drugs when she was in charge of a baby, totally selfish and despicable act.
Also to those posters who say you shouldn't judge people, get in to the real world. It's human nature to judge everyone, whether it be for their looks, their personality, their actions and surely that's what a forum is for to voice your opinion.
I don't understand why people are saying she was "clean" when she was still taking Methadone, which is a substitute drug for heroin.
My husband and I encounter drug addicts and their children in our work and although we have sympathy for people who do get addicted, there are many complex reasons for this, as soon as they have children while still addicted then any sympathy we had completely flies out of the window. People say she loved her children, fact is she loved heroin more than her children and for it now to be revealed that she was on Methadone and chose to get pregnant shows what an irresponsible person she was. In my opinion her husband has to take some responsibility as well for bringing these two innocent children in to the world when he would know she was on Methadone.
Something has to be done to stop the cycle of these poor children being brought up by drug addicted parents, personally we would put contraceptive in the Methadone. This was discussed in Scotland but then there were cries of what about the human rights of the drug addicts, what about the human rights of the children they are bringing in to the world, they are far more important. You can just see what type of lives these poor children are going to have, they have virtually no chance, it breaks our hearts. We have no children and we wish we could take all of these children and give them a better life.
When like my husband you have to regularly go in to a drug addicts house and give them an injection to reverse a heroin overdose and there are children there some of the people who have sympathy for Peaches Geldof might change their mind about her. He feels sick to the pit of his stomach when he sees these poor children. There is no excuse for someone in her position who had plenty of money and family support to take drugs when she was in charge of a baby, totally selfish and despicable act.
Also to those posters who say you shouldn't judge people, get in to the real world. It's human nature to judge everyone, whether it be for their looks, their personality, their actions and surely that's what a forum is for to voice your opinion.
Great - so that means I get to judge the judgemental types on here for having no compassion, no understanding of addiction and no desire to educate themselves out of their ignorance? You included - I'm sure you don't mind.....
Again, you are conviniently ignoring facts that she had been getting help for two and a half years, and was at a point recently before her death where she was clean and was lowering the levels of methadone she was taking.
I'm not even sure how you can compare avoiding certain foods to trying to get clean from heroin.
Addictions are never beaten. If you are an addict, you are always an addict.
No you are misreading. I am saying she should have got herself clean BEFORE she started her family. NHS advice, which most mothers follow is to prepare your body to carry a new life and not to do anything which would harm them.
I don't understand why people are saying she was "clean" when she was still taking Methadone, which is a substitute drug for heroin.
My husband and I encounter drug addicts and their children in our work and although we have sympathy for people who do get addicted, there are many complex reasons for this, as soon as they have children while still addicted then any sympathy we had completely flies out of the window. People say she loved her children, fact is she loved heroin more than her children and for it now to be revealed that she was on Methadone and chose to get pregnant shows what an irresponsible person she was. In my opinion her husband has to take some responsibility as well for bringing these two innocent children in to the world when he would know she was on Methadone.
Something has to be done to stop the cycle of these poor children being brought up by drug addicted parents, personally we would put contraceptive in the Methadone. This was discussed in Scotland but then there were cries of what about the human rights of the drug addicts, what about the human rights of the children they are bringing in to the world, they are far more important. You can just see what type of lives these poor children are going to have, they have virtually no chance, it breaks our hearts. We have no children and we wish we could take all of these children and give them a better life.
When like my husband you have to regularly go in to a drug addicts house and give them an injection to reverse a heroin overdose and there are children there some of the people who have sympathy for Peaches Geldof might change their mind about her. He feels sick to the pit of his stomach when he sees these poor children. There is no excuse for someone in her position who had plenty of money and family support to take drugs when she was in charge of a baby, totally selfish and despicable act.
Also to those posters who say you shouldn't judge people, get in to the real world. It's human nature to judge everyone, whether it be for their looks, their personality, their actions and surely that's what a forum is for to voice your opinion.
Great post and I agree with it all. My neighbour fosters newborn babies who are born to drug addict mothers. It is pitiful to hear them wailing.
This is the bit I struggle with too. I understand if she had an addiction then that was a type of illness, and she might have been generically predisposed to addictive tendencies. But what makes someone take heroin in the first place, particularly when it killed their mother? There was a conscious choice that Peaches made somewhere along the line to say yes to hard drugs.
I've never done heroin but I have been very close to people who used to do so, habitually, and I would say it would be a combination of:
1) Access and familiarity - when your friends are doing it, and it's easy to get, and they're not dropping dead all over the place, you become less afraid of it. As a teen I was absolutely terrified by the concept of drugs - all drugs, any drugs. By the time I was 20 I had certainly tried the drugs my friends took, even though they were soft drugs.
2) When you're young you think you're bulletproof anyway so your "dance with death" isn't something you fully comprehend. Or if it is, it's like you actually do have a death wish, which some would argue we all have to a greater or lesser degree.
3) Apparently heroin is the best drug in the universe for some kinds of people, namely emotionally vulnerable and/or insecure ones. It makes you feel incredibly safe and secure and unworried. For someone like Peaches who by all accounts did not feel that way, it would certainly have been very hard to give up. Ex-junky friends have also likened it to a lover.
What I am about to say I hope it doesn't come across as too harsh:
I still have sympathy for Peaches and her family. Especially the babies. However since finding out that she had been on methadone for 2 and a half years I really can't help questioning why she had 2 children within that time? Why did either of them (referring to Tom also) think it acceptable that they should have children born addicted to methadone? Especially the second child, first I can maybe understand but why not wait until you're off methadone? I can't help thinking she might have overcome the addiction if she had given herself more time to wean down the methadone properly etc.
And I'm sorry but I do agree with the fact this has tainted the view she has presented of attachment parenting. It's terribly sad that when she died people kept talking about her This morning appearance with Katie Hopkins about how she won the debate but it means very little now.
I really hope those babies will be okay, it's them I feel most for the in this situation.
People say she loved her children, fact is she loved heroin more than her children and for it now to be revealed that she was on Methadone and chose to get pregnant shows what an irresponsible person she was.
Any addiction can be beaten if people really want to do it.
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
None of us are perfect.
Although I wasn't a great fan of Peaches Geldof, I entirely agree with your post. I didn't know her well enough to make any judgements about her or her family. True none of us perfect.
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
None of us are perfect.
Refreshing to see a post on this thread that's compassionate, insightful and free of judgement. Agree entirely.
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
None of us are perfect.
Or to look after her children anymore - they are the ones who I feel the most for in this situation. And to think one of them (at age 1) was on their own for fifteen hours as she lay dying in the next room just about breaks my heart.
From an article in The Independent...
"The private picture of Peaches Geldof emerged yesterday as a mother of two young children who had returned to using heroin after two-and-a-half years of methadone treatment and counselling.
She had spoken about her drug abuse previously, but had described it as youthful experimentation. “Yeah, I’ve taken drugs. Yes, I have had experiences, and a few of those experiences were unsavoury, not ones I want to repeat, but I was growing up, I wanted the experience,” she said in a 2009 interview. “It made me feel sick. I wasn’t hugely into drugs, and I’m sober now…. I’m not Amy Winehouse. I never have been. I wasn’t a crackhead.”
Comments
I feel hopeful, Tom, Bob, Tom's parents etc appear very grounded & I think they'll do everything humanly possible to give those wee boys a "normal" upbringing.
Correct me of I'm wrong but I thought Thomas's parents were Social Workers or involved in Social Sevices in some capacity?
What a lovely thing to say when you say you don't understand addiction,it's a pity there wasn't more like you willing to try and understand the power of addiction and the devastation it can cause
Precisely! Most people when they are planning to start a family look at their lifestyle and decide where they can make improvements so that any child they bring into the world is as healthy as possible and so are it's parents. The NHS offer the same advice.
It may mean losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less alcohol, avoiding certain foods ..... These all sound pretty minor compare to not taking any sort of drugs.
She was only young and could have found the very best treatment available so that she was clean before starting a family. Any addiction can be beaten if people really want to do it.
^^^^this
This is the bit I struggle with too. I understand if she had an addiction then that was a type of illness, and she might have been generically predisposed to addictive tendencies. But what makes someone take heroin in the first place, particularly when it killed their mother? There was a conscious choice that Peaches made somewhere along the line to say yes to hard drugs.
Now perhaps that in itself was part of a frailty, but there are lots of people online getting lots of kudos for saying: "the reactions to Peaches's death / cause of death show how little people understand addiction." They sit back and bask in the "I'm so understanding and not judgey" glow that they get from others... When really I think people are saying that first hit that Peaches took was (bar a nightmare forced drug consumption scenario) her choice. And the addiction flowed from there. I have made some very bad choices, but I like to think I'd say no to heroin. I don't even smoke after seeing what it's done to relatives. That doesn't make me any better a person than Peaches but I think people are allowed to point out that this was not an unstoppable train she found herself on here.
She strikes me as a bit flaky like she wanted to make a good impression esp with the attachment parenting bollocks.
That need to impress may have taken a dark turn if she was in a social setting with friends doing hard drugs.
Lets face it, the set she hangs out with are known for their "partying"
An unstoppable train is exactly what it was. Traumatised by the death of her mother, indulged by her father, allowed to run wild and have whatever she so desired, no discipline, no rules, no understanding of the real world, able to have whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, partying in every city she landed in and surrounded by hangers on and a vicious media set. Couple this with a probable addictive personality and a humongous sense of entitlement and I get the impression she felt she could do whatever she liked, even if that 'whatever' was what killed her mother.
Again, you are conviniently ignoring facts that she had been getting help for two and a half years, and was at a point recently before her death where she was clean and was lowering the levels of methadone she was taking.
I'm not even sure how you can compare avoiding certain foods to trying to get clean from heroin.
Addictions are never beaten. If you are an addict, you are always an addict.
My husband and I encounter drug addicts and their children in our work and although we have sympathy for people who do get addicted, there are many complex reasons for this, as soon as they have children while still addicted then any sympathy we had completely flies out of the window. People say she loved her children, fact is she loved heroin more than her children and for it now to be revealed that she was on Methadone and chose to get pregnant shows what an irresponsible person she was. In my opinion her husband has to take some responsibility as well for bringing these two innocent children in to the world when he would know she was on Methadone.
Something has to be done to stop the cycle of these poor children being brought up by drug addicted parents, personally we would put contraceptive in the Methadone. This was discussed in Scotland but then there were cries of what about the human rights of the drug addicts, what about the human rights of the children they are bringing in to the world, they are far more important. You can just see what type of lives these poor children are going to have, they have virtually no chance, it breaks our hearts. We have no children and we wish we could take all of these children and give them a better life.
When like my husband you have to regularly go in to a drug addicts house and give them an injection to reverse a heroin overdose and there are children there some of the people who have sympathy for Peaches Geldof might change their mind about her. He feels sick to the pit of his stomach when he sees these poor children. There is no excuse for someone in her position who had plenty of money and family support to take drugs when she was in charge of a baby, totally selfish and despicable act.
Also to those posters who say you shouldn't judge people, get in to the real world. It's human nature to judge everyone, whether it be for their looks, their personality, their actions and surely that's what a forum is for to voice your opinion.
Great - so that means I get to judge the judgemental types on here for having no compassion, no understanding of addiction and no desire to educate themselves out of their ignorance? You included - I'm sure you don't mind.....
No you are misreading. I am saying she should have got herself clean BEFORE she started her family. NHS advice, which most mothers follow is to prepare your body to carry a new life and not to do anything which would harm them.
Great post and I agree with it all. My neighbour fosters newborn babies who are born to drug addict mothers. It is pitiful to hear them wailing.
I've never done heroin but I have been very close to people who used to do so, habitually, and I would say it would be a combination of:
1) Access and familiarity - when your friends are doing it, and it's easy to get, and they're not dropping dead all over the place, you become less afraid of it. As a teen I was absolutely terrified by the concept of drugs - all drugs, any drugs. By the time I was 20 I had certainly tried the drugs my friends took, even though they were soft drugs.
2) When you're young you think you're bulletproof anyway so your "dance with death" isn't something you fully comprehend. Or if it is, it's like you actually do have a death wish, which some would argue we all have to a greater or lesser degree.
3) Apparently heroin is the best drug in the universe for some kinds of people, namely emotionally vulnerable and/or insecure ones. It makes you feel incredibly safe and secure and unworried. For someone like Peaches who by all accounts did not feel that way, it would certainly have been very hard to give up. Ex-junky friends have also likened it to a lover.
I still have sympathy for Peaches and her family. Especially the babies. However since finding out that she had been on methadone for 2 and a half years I really can't help questioning why she had 2 children within that time? Why did either of them (referring to Tom also) think it acceptable that they should have children born addicted to methadone? Especially the second child, first I can maybe understand but why not wait until you're off methadone? I can't help thinking she might have overcome the addiction if she had given herself more time to wean down the methadone properly etc.
And I'm sorry but I do agree with the fact this has tainted the view she has presented of attachment parenting. It's terribly sad that when she died people kept talking about her This morning appearance with Katie Hopkins about how she won the debate but it means very little now.
I really hope those babies will be okay, it's them I feel most for the in this situation.
That's truly heartbreaking. It's hard to think of a worse start in life, poor little mites.
Posts such as this make life sound so incredibly simple and straight forward.
Why do I choose to defend her? Maybe because she isn't around to defend herself. Maybe because I suspect that behind all the glamour of "celebrity" there was probably an extremely vulnerable young girl who had a screwed up start to her own life and who was probably just trying her best to get herself by and make the best of her life and try to deal with the numerous issues she had going on.
Why did she have kids and throw herself into parenting? Probably because she hoped it would be something to consume her life enough that she wouldn't think about drugs or need to turn to drugs. If she had her love for her kids and had parenting.. why would she need drugs. That's perhaps what she hoped or thought. And sadly it appears she lost that particular battle.
We all have our demons. We all have skeletons. We all have vices. We all do things that aren't healthy for us. Some of us are on the lower end of the scale and have an addiction to coffee, chocolate or junk food. Some of us smoke. Some of us drink too much. Some of us use drugs or prescription medication. And some of us use heroin. No one is perfect. Not a single one of us.
I honestly believe she was trying her best. Yes, she died and she's left her kids without a mother. And that's tragic. But no one here as far as I'm aware knew her well enough to be able to announce on a forum that she loved drugs more than she loved her kids. You didn't know her. I just struggle with this concept that we can sit here on a forum and condemn others who have passed away and ridicule their decisions in life. Who are we to do that?
None of us are perfect.
Excellent post, not one bit do I disagree with.
Great post.
Agreeing with others here. An excellent post.
Although I wasn't a great fan of Peaches Geldof, I entirely agree with your post. I didn't know her well enough to make any judgements about her or her family. True none of us perfect.
Refreshing to see a post on this thread that's compassionate, insightful and free of judgement. Agree entirely.
From an article in The Independent...
"The private picture of Peaches Geldof emerged yesterday as a mother of two young children who had returned to using heroin after two-and-a-half years of methadone treatment and counselling.
She had spoken about her drug abuse previously, but had described it as youthful experimentation. “Yeah, I’ve taken drugs. Yes, I have had experiences, and a few of those experiences were unsavoury, not ones I want to repeat, but I was growing up, I wanted the experience,” she said in a 2009 interview. “It made me feel sick. I wasn’t hugely into drugs, and I’m sober now…. I’m not Amy Winehouse. I never have been. I wasn’t a crackhead.”
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/peaches-geldof-her-final-day--and-her-fatal-decision-9624279.html