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BBOTS - 'domestic violence'
PepperPlant
Posts: 197 Forum Member
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So pleased with the woman who highlighted that Steven's behaviour fits the profile of a domestic abuser. Emma really shut it all down - maybe for legal reasons?
I used to work researching domestic violence and the audience member is right - his behaviour does fit the profile. If he continues treating her the way he is doing in the long term then that it will be domestic abuse - that's what emotional abuse looks like.
I can see why Emma was so keen to make it seem like an over-reaction - bad publicity if they are seen to have been supporting someone being abusive - but it is a real shame. They could be using this as an opportunity to help a lot of women. Seeing it portrayed clearly on BB might help some people. When you're in a relationship like that it can be easy to lose sight of what a healthy relationship looks like.
Edit: Just seen this is being discussed elsewhere, I will join that thread!
I used to work researching domestic violence and the audience member is right - his behaviour does fit the profile. If he continues treating her the way he is doing in the long term then that it will be domestic abuse - that's what emotional abuse looks like.
I can see why Emma was so keen to make it seem like an over-reaction - bad publicity if they are seen to have been supporting someone being abusive - but it is a real shame. They could be using this as an opportunity to help a lot of women. Seeing it portrayed clearly on BB might help some people. When you're in a relationship like that it can be easy to lose sight of what a healthy relationship looks like.
Edit: Just seen this is being discussed elsewhere, I will join that thread!
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There is nothing else I have seen that would make me scream domestic violence and I think unless you know Steven it is wrong to publicly condemn him like this.
THAT is a major effect of abuse like this. Fortunately I got away from the b that abused me (right after I'd given his a good kicking in the b--lls in my stilletos) many years ago. If I'd stayed I'd be dead.
im sure the women didnt say he was INTO domestic violence & that he was SHOWING SIGNS of it & tbh I agree.. I don't think Steven is at all violence but i reckon on the outside world he would want to know her every move.. whats on her phone.. who she talks to.. what she wears..
He has obviously been hurt in the past and is insecure, but there are ways to deal with that without controlling the person you are dating.
If BBOTS are so keen to avoid these sorts of allegations then why does the main show focus on the scenes which do look like emotional abuse? (That's not really rhetorical, something I find genuinely puzzling).
Legally of course she had to respond as she did, but they still allowed the comment to be aired.
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe.
I agree that behaviour is there that could suggest Steven was capable of psychological domestic abuse, even if he doesn't realise it.
I can relate to what you are saying I can't even look at the tv when he is on it brings back very bad times
I agree but felt that Emma repeating the expression "domestic violence" was unhelpful. It ensured that everyone, even those who might have missed the comment first time, had it reinforced in their consciousness.
Unfortunately Steven is unlikely to change, most abusers don't. When she said she felt he was belittling her he just laughed it off and discounted her.
100% in agreement with you.
The over dramatics seem to be coming from those who enjoy their own self-inflicted victim status.
To label someone as a possible wife beater is unacceptable. Yes he is an absolute moron and he is controlling, that much I agree with, but not everyone who controls goes on to be abusive. I think the fact that they are in a very high pressured environment also means everything is very much exaggerated and we all know people behave in ways that they may not in real life. I think too many people are not objective. I don't like Steven and I have made that perfectly clear in here numerous times but to accuse him of domestic violence is a step too far.
I don't condone his controlling behaviour but everyone is acting like he has actually hit Kim, he hasn't, he has made demands to know things and asked her to cut up a photo, based on her constant lies about her relationship status, lest we forget. I think it is far more to do with insecurity and the knowledge deep down that she doesnt genuinely like him that makes him constantly question her. As for him being full on with the constant 'I love you's' she has done that too, she has discussed moving in, she has agreed to marry him, she has had sex with him, it's far from a one sided thing. So people calling him an abuser and a possible wife beater because he doesn't want her to see her ex that clearly isn't an ex is just over the top dramatics.
We see 40 mins each night are you saying Steven is an abuser who is 100% unlikely to change? [that is if he is one]
The 3 times were Conor, Daley (before he was ejected), and now Steven.
Is it perhaps time that 1) people start to understand that people who notice it, notice it for a REASON, not just because they're a fan of a different hm, or a man hater, or otherwise bored, and 2) BB needs to start taking their psych screenings a little more seriously.
Please present your evidence:)
SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?
Some of those he can't do now, doesn't mean he wouldn't. It also doesn't mean he's some vicious asshole, only that he's never been taught not to behave this way. That still doesn't make it ok.
I'm sorry I disagree. Warning signbs for domestic abuse usually start with emotional abuse - accusing someone of things they haven't done - she has lied over and over which is where the main issue lies.
He hasn't displayed the typical signs of an abuser - belittling her and calling names, not allowing her to have friendships outside of the relationship, not allowing her to wear what she would like, withholding affection as punishment, having to be near her all the time and not engaging with others, using anger and shouting as a way to control her, telling her she wouldn't cope without him. These are signs typical of an abuser. He has displayed none of this.
He has only ever attempted to control the situation with her ex and I believe it is because he knows that she is lying about it. He knows her career and that she poses naked has he made any remarks about that? No. So while I think he is a **** I do not see the classic symptoms of an abuser other than on that one issue.
Oh okay!
It's just that so many people think they are judge and jury on Steven's behaviour and it's classification as domestic violence.
So, you're just sending out warning signals to Kim too?
I assume the HL ones are the ones he does? He does not call her names, he does not constantly check where she is, he does not put down her achievements, as for the sex object he had sex with her, she also chose to have sex with him does that make her an abuser? He does not control where she goes or what she does. He is overly jealous and possesive but again I will say it is not in general and is very specific to one aspect of her life - the guy she is living with.