Super shy 3 year old

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:25

My son who's 3 in a couple of weeks is so shy outside the house. He is so timid and dosent really join in at playgroup. He talks quietly to the teachers. He is so different in the house, talkative, mischievous, shouts, climbs.

RAINBOWGIRL22 · 16/05/13 - 00:28

Maybe this will be better in advice?

Although I fail to see what you want to achieve?

Do you need advice to coax you son out in company? Or do you want to discuss shy children in general?

(Sorry to sound harsh but I am a Mum too and they don't like Mum's all that much round here :eek:)

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:30

Pressed the done button by mistake. I worry about him starting nursery after the summer. I know that's his personality. I am rather shy myself. Is there anything I can do to help him come out his shell a bit. At playgroup if someone takes a toy from him, he'll make sure he gets it back. He won't let anyone push him around which is a good thing.

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:32

Does it matter if its in advice or general discussion. It's better than some of the tripe threads that I have read recently!!!!

Penfolds_place · 16/05/13 - 00:36

I was super shy as a little kid. It's possible he will grow out of it as a lot of kids go through it. It did kind of continue for me into adulthood but everyones different. My advice would be not to put to much pressure on him as that could make things worse. If it continues then it might be worth looking into other options to help him but 3 is a bit too young to tell. Make sure he has plenty of chances to socialise with his classmates, maybe invite playgroup friends over to your house to play? Then he will be more relaxed when he's at playgroup.

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:45

Thanks very much for your advice. Appreciate it. x

mrsdaisychain · 16/05/13 - 00:51

My grandson was just like that at his age, it's just a matter of taking it slowly, make sure that he does socialise with others of the same age. I suggested at the time to maybe get an older child to befriend him. It would make him feel important as well as the other child having a charge. It did help to, he did come out of his shell a bit.
Having a few friends round too with their parents is a good idea. It;s a good thing he is sticking up for himself.
Hope it sorts iteself out for you, it can be a worrying time.

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:52

My eldest was super shy! He is 5 now and very outgoing. I think partly to do with me having my youngest but nursery helped too and he does karate. Maybe he just grew out of it don't worry I'm sure he will be fine.

littlebooties · 16/05/13 - 00:53

I wouldn't worry too much about it, it doesn't sound unusual. The more anxious you are the more he will pick up on it, just keep socialising yourself so he can see how it's done and copy you. He's still a baby at 3 really. Have confidence in him and then he'll have it himself without thinking.

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 00:54

Hi Fiona. I would suggest you invite a wee friend or 2 back to yours to play and for lunch. Maybe a trip to the park or something? If the other mummy's come too then it gives you a chance to build up friendships that last forever. My youngest granddaughter is extremely shy too and only really speaks to people she knows really really well but can be a wee minx at home.

andersonsonson · 16/05/13 - 00:59

I hardly spoke at school and didn't get confidence until I was 20

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 01:01

andersonsonson wrote: »

I hardly spoke at school and didn't get confidence until I was 20

Wow Fiona enjoy the next 17 years of your wee one being super shy.

James Frederick · 16/05/13 - 01:05

I was just the same at that age didn't tale to other kids teachers or anyone apart from very close family members.

I'm 34 now and TBH I've even shyer now than I was then I can be physically sick if I have to talk to anyone

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 01:12

Thanks all. I will take your advice on board xx

flower 2 · 16/05/13 - 01:14

Fiona72 wrote: »

My son who's 3 in a couple of weeks is so shy outside the house. He is so timid and dosent really join in at playgroup. He talks quietly to the teachers. He is so different in the house, talkative, mischievous, shouts, climbs.

I expect, he is proving to you that he is a clever boy and taken in all that you have told him about being a 'Good Boy' at home (that he ignores sometimes cos he knows you love him

)...and is being as good as gold in public

Don't worry, completely normal

Seb Scorch · 16/05/13 - 01:17

I'd consider moving him to a new playgroup. There's probably a bad influence that the teachers don't see

[Deleted User] · 16/05/13 - 01:18

My niece is the same, very shy at nursery but get her home and she is completely different. I wouldn't worry too much about it, he'll come out of his shell in his own time.

Aarghawasp! · 16/05/13 - 03:14

littlebooties wrote: »

I wouldn't worry too much about it, it doesn't sound unusual. The more anxious you are the more he will pick up on it, just keep socialising yourself so he can see how it's done and copy you. He's still a baby at 3 really. Have confidence in him and then he'll have it himself without thinking.

Agreed, I've been a Nursery Nurse for 20 years and at 3 he's only just beginning to take his first steps of independence from you. We see it all the time in nursery class. Just provide him with the opportunities to socialise - playgroup/nursery/tumble tots/anything at all. The rest will come in time.

Xela M · 16/05/13 - 03:26

My 3-year-old daughter was the same. Although she's not shy around (most) adults, she was extremely shy around children and wouldn't play with them (unless I told her off

). I take her to a drama/singing/dancing class once a week and I couldn't believe the difference! She's the youngest one in the class and it's not the best class, but it really got her out of her shell. She does better than all the older kids. I think strangers commenting on how great she is doing made her feel important and she's a lot less shy with other kids now.

spookyLX · 16/05/13 - 04:08

My niece was also very shy at 3 , but after a month or so at playgroup she started to interact with the other kids, now she is 7 and doing really well at school she is still shy but not so much and she has a few friends now

Jaydogg_Home · 19/05/13 - 21:39

I'd say get more kids of his own age, maybe from the playgroup or your friends kids etc round to your house, he'll get there just keep him interacting with people and take them to an environment he's comfy in, has he met all his mile stones? kids learn by example and repetition, so show him how it's done and help him get there.

MarzBar85 · 19/05/13 - 22:40

My goddaughter was super shy, it was funny! Fine in the house, anywhere else she clung to mum or dad. On her first day of nursery she just scowled at the staff. Think her mum distracted her with a sweet before running out the door once.

Last summer she took part in a play in front of a audience, she really has come on leaps and bounds. She's not confident by any means, but you can talk to her outside the house Hesse days.

stud u like · 19/05/13 - 23:00

Shyness is rather difficult to get rid off. It hangs about for years if a person allows it.

Building confidence outside the home is a good idea.

big brother 9 · 19/05/13 - 23:01

maybe you could play with him in the playgroup for a short period and slowly start to pull yourself away. it worked with my daughter

lozenger · 20/05/13 - 00:07

One of my friends at Primary school had elective muteness or something (not sure what it was) I just know that we never heard her speak a single word & she was painfully shy (although apparently she was noisy as anything at home

)

Anyway, we never even questioned it, just happily played, spoke out on her behalf, kids just adapt & accept - actually we were all very protective of her and struck up a close friendship. She probably had more friends than the boistorous kids

My point is although as others have pointed out, he will quite likely grow out of it as he gets more and more friends, it's not the end of the world if he doesnt - he may be shy but will likely pick close friends and still have lots of fun.

Hey there!

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Super shy 3 year old

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