With secondary school, when I left in May a lot of my old teachers added me, and some talk to me regularly to ask how college is going and the like. With primary school though, especially as the kids are too young to even have facebook, it's better to not acknowledge the message.
I'm of the opinion that it would be rude not to reply to the message - ignoring her could affect how she relates to future teachers, as she might think they're just pretending to like her. I would just say "Hi X, thanks for your message. I can't add you as a friend on here as teachers aren't allowed to have pupils on their Facebook, but good luck with your studies." Keep a copy of her message & your reply (a screenshot is a good way of preserving her message & your reply together), so that any future questioning on the matter isn't reliant on your memory. Now that this has happened, I suggest changing your settings so that you're not searchable & block her from sending you any further messages. If she contacts you again, don't reply.
Teacher friends of mine have been told by headteachers that they aren't to add any pupils to their social networking contacts unless they are no longer being taught by them & are also over the age of 17, & if a particular pupil keeps contacting them trying to make/maintain contact they're to let the head know. All of the teachers I know have either set their account so that they can't be found through a search or use a slightly/very different name with personal stuff like photos & so on only visible to friends etc. It's unfortunate, but you have to be far more careful these days. We didn't even have computers when I was a child, & I can recall writing to some teachers who'd left when I was only about 12-14 to let them know how I was doing. That wouldn't be accepted today.
What about sending the child a short email, which can be found on the profile page? Or is that too personal as well? I dont have anyone under the age of 18 on my FB and when friend´s kids try to add me, this is my standard response to their parents.
I'm of the opinion that it would be rude not to reply to the message - ignoring her could affect how she relates to future teachers, as she might think they're just pretending to like her. I would just say "Hi X, thanks for your message. I can't add you as a friend on here as teachers aren't allowed to have pupils on their Facebook, but good luck with your studies." Keep a copy of her message & your reply (a screenshot is a good way of preserving her message & your reply together), so that any future questioning on the matter isn't reliant on your memory. Now that this has happened, I suggest changing your settings so that you're not searchable & block her from sending you any further messages. If she contacts you again, don't reply.
Teacher friends of mine have been told by headteachers that they aren't to add any pupils to their social networking contacts unless they are no longer being taught by them & are also over the age of 17, & if a particular pupil keeps contacting them trying to make/maintain contact they're to let the head know. All of the teachers I know have either set their account so that they can't be found through a search or use a slightly/very different name with personal stuff like photos & so on only visible to friends etc. It's unfortunate, but you have to be far more careful these days. We didn't even have computers when I was a child, & I can recall writing to some teachers who'd left when I was only about 12-14 to let them know how I was doing. That wouldn't be accepted today.
She's only 8 or 9 so I doubt very much she would remember any of this in a year's time.
She's only 8 or 9 so I doubt very much she would remember any of this in a year's time.
And she shouldn't be on FB!
I agree she shouldn't be on there, but I still think it's rude not to reply. I was very close to some of my primary teachers, & if I'd taken the time to write them such a nice message I would have been hurt if they hadn't replied to me. She appreciates what the OP did enough to write saying she'll miss her & wish her well. She has demonstrated gratitude & manners, & I think the OP it's possible for the OP to do the same while also remaining professional. To not do so might give the impression that manners only work one way.
I agree she shouldn't be on there, but I still think it's rude not to reply. I was very close to some of my primary teachers, & if I'd taken the time to write them such a nice message I would have been hurt if they hadn't replied to me. She appreciates what the OP did enough to write saying she'll miss her & wish her well. She has demonstrated gratitude & manners, & I think the OP it's possible for the OP to do the same while at the same time remaining professional. To not do so might give the impression that manners only work one way.
It's not right for the OP to reply, the child in question should never have messaged her in the first place. This is why kids should not be on FB.
The OP can appreciate and I'm sure she does but she mustn't reply.
A lot of kids demonstrate gratitude and manners in our school and it's much appreciated but it doesn't mean I'll have contact with them outside school. I may wave to them in the supermarket but that's where I'll draw the line.
I too work in yr 4. They are just small kids. And like I said, child in question would have forgotten this in a year's time, they won't be mentally scarred.
Maybe they never really liked me, that they only pretended to like me because they were paid too. If that's the case, why be friends with teachers at all?'
Teachers are not pupils' friends and of course they are just to them because it's their job! There will be some kids that they hate, but they can't say that.
How do you all feel about people in there 20's adding old teachers from when they were at school?
I got along really really well with some of my old teachers but I would feel weird still adding them now as I wouldn't want them to think I'm a stalker or anything stupid like that......
I still think that if there is a need to respond, then sending a card to the pupil via the school is the best way and I'm sure the pupil would appreciate the gesture. Maybe send a card to the whole class saying something nice and mention that you were sorry to have not had the opportunity to wish those that weren't there on the last day well in person.
But I would certainly not reply in any way online.
I still think that if there is a need to respond, then sending a card to the pupil via the school is the best way and I'm sure the pupil would appreciate the gesture. Maybe send a card to the whole class saying something nice and mention that you were sorry to have not had the opportunity to wish those that weren't there on the last day well in person.
But I would certainly not reply in any way online.
I still think that if there is a need to respond, then sending a card to the pupil via the school is the best way and I'm sure the pupil would appreciate the gesture. Maybe send a card to the whole class saying something nice and mention that you were sorry to have not had the opportunity to wish those that weren't there on the last day well in person.
But I would certainly not reply in any way online.
This if you have to.
Maybe you should also drop your old school a line and say perhaps they need to state something about how contacting teachers on FB, Twitter etc is inappropriate.
Thank you very much for the replies, everyone. I've been thinking about everyone's contributions and I've decided neither to reply nor add as a friend; the consequences are just too risky Instead, I'm going to send a card for the whole class that the new teacher can read to them How does that sound?
Thank you very much for the replies, everyone. I've been thinking about everyone's contributions and I've decided neither to reply nor add as a friend; the consequences are just too risky Instead, I'm going to send a card for the whole class that the new teacher can read to them How does that sound?
I think you're going with the safest option, OP.
There are some idealists in this thread who don't seem to appreciate how screwed up the world is when it comes to relations between adults and children - it's pretty much a total a no-no for an adult to be friends with children at all, anymore, whether they are teachers or whatever. Even sending an innocent reply to someone via the internet could open a whole can of worms. Some people seem very naive when it comes to just how easily adults can get into trouble for even acknowleding a child's existence, these days. It's sad that this is the way of the world, but it is how it is. You can NEVER be too paranoid when it comes to this issue.
My Year 10/11 English teacher has added me but its been two and a half years since I left school so think thats okay.
But a Year 4 having Facebook!? I wasn't even allowed on the internet when I was that age!
We didn't have the internet until I was in year 7!
I added my old geography teacher when she left as she was my favourite teacher and we got on well. She left to go on maternity leave and decided to not come back. That was in year 10 or something and I added her when I got facebook in 2007! So that's 4 years or so (wow, that long LOL) since I had seen her. I'm pretty sure it was year... oh wait. It might have even been year 9 as I don't remember her being there when the old staff room was turned into a geography room... well, whatever, lol. But still, there was a gap and it wasn't until I had finished school (2005) and got facebook (2007).
She doesn't really use it though and it's been a long time since I added her.
I know it seems rude to ignore her, but she's young and will soon forget.
I work in a special school and we have an internet policy that states we are not allowed to add pupils until they have left for at least 12 months and are over 18.
I never request former pupils but I do occassionally accept them if it's after a couple of years. But I am careful who I add.
Edit: just read the OPs solution, it sounds best all round:)
There are some idealists in this thread who don't seem to appreciate how screwed up the world is when it comes to relations between adults and children - it's pretty much a total a no-no for an adult to be friends with children at all, anymore, whether they are teachers or whatever. Even sending an innocent reply to someone via the internet could open a whole can of worms. Some people seem very naive when it comes to just how easily adults can get into trouble for even acknowleding a child's existence, these days. It's sad that this is the way of the world, but it is how it is. You can NEVER be too paranoid when it comes to this issue.
This post is just silly and the last line made me go :eek:
This is another reason why I no longer live in the UK.
Here on our Greek island, people do check up on each other frequently - but only because they like to help out in times of trouble. All this stupidity about not taking photos of children, or not communicating with them because someone might report you, simply doesn't exist here.
Yes there are probably paedophiles around. But the Greeks dish out their own kind of justice, which usually doesn't involve the authorities.
Am a teaching Assistant and many a pupil has tried to add me. If they request me, I reject it but I simply let them know why. As you are no longer at the school, I would simply reply to the message and leave it at that imo.
I have 3 Parents on my facebook, but that's only because I know them tbh. I wouldn't accept any parents request either tbh. As then I have the task of making some of my pictures private, because my bf was a teacher at the school and simply don't want them knowing my business of what I done on holiday lol.
This is another reason why I no longer live in the UK.
Here on our Greek island, people do check up on each other frequently - but only because they like to help out in times of trouble. All this stupidity about not taking photos of children, or not communicating with them because someone might report you, simply doesn't exist here.
Yes there are probably paedophiles around. But the Greeks dish out their own kind of justice, which usually doesn't involve the authorities.
I agree that the UK is absolutely ludicrious when it comes to this stuff, but there doesn't seem to be any way to prevent the stupidiy from growing, so people need to be extremely careful. It's a bunch of crap, and I hate it, but there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it.
I don't see why you can't reply to the message, thank her for her message, wish her good luck in the future, and tell her you're not allowed to add pupils.
Comments
Teacher friends of mine have been told by headteachers that they aren't to add any pupils to their social networking contacts unless they are no longer being taught by them & are also over the age of 17, & if a particular pupil keeps contacting them trying to make/maintain contact they're to let the head know. All of the teachers I know have either set their account so that they can't be found through a search or use a slightly/very different name with personal stuff like photos & so on only visible to friends etc. It's unfortunate, but you have to be far more careful these days. We didn't even have computers when I was a child, & I can recall writing to some teachers who'd left when I was only about 12-14 to let them know how I was doing. That wouldn't be accepted today.
And she shouldn't be on FB!
It's not right for the OP to reply, the child in question should never have messaged her in the first place. This is why kids should not be on FB.
The OP can appreciate and I'm sure she does but she mustn't reply.
A lot of kids demonstrate gratitude and manners in our school and it's much appreciated but it doesn't mean I'll have contact with them outside school. I may wave to them in the supermarket but that's where I'll draw the line.
I too work in yr 4. They are just small kids. And like I said, child in question would have forgotten this in a year's time, they won't be mentally scarred.
Teachers are not pupils' friends and of course they are just to them because it's their job! There will be some kids that they hate, but they can't say that.
I got along really really well with some of my old teachers but I would feel weird still adding them now as I wouldn't want them to think I'm a stalker or anything stupid like that......
I doubt it would be an issue at this age...
But a Year 4 having Facebook!? I wasn't even allowed on the internet when I was that age!
i would however, copy the message and paste it into an email and send it to yourself, so that you have a copy of the message and the date stamp.
This way, if anything is said in the coming months, you can back yourself up without spending ages trying to find the message reply in face book
But I would certainly not reply in any way online.
This.
This if you have to.
Maybe you should also drop your old school a line and say perhaps they need to state something about how contacting teachers on FB, Twitter etc is inappropriate.
I think you're going with the safest option, OP.
There are some idealists in this thread who don't seem to appreciate how screwed up the world is when it comes to relations between adults and children - it's pretty much a total a no-no for an adult to be friends with children at all, anymore, whether they are teachers or whatever. Even sending an innocent reply to someone via the internet could open a whole can of worms. Some people seem very naive when it comes to just how easily adults can get into trouble for even acknowleding a child's existence, these days. It's sad that this is the way of the world, but it is how it is. You can NEVER be too paranoid when it comes to this issue.
We didn't have the internet until I was in year 7!
I added my old geography teacher when she left as she was my favourite teacher and we got on well. She left to go on maternity leave and decided to not come back. That was in year 10 or something and I added her when I got facebook in 2007! So that's 4 years or so (wow, that long LOL) since I had seen her. I'm pretty sure it was year... oh wait. It might have even been year 9 as I don't remember her being there when the old staff room was turned into a geography room... well, whatever, lol. But still, there was a gap and it wasn't until I had finished school (2005) and got facebook (2007).
She doesn't really use it though and it's been a long time since I added her.
I work in a special school and we have an internet policy that states we are not allowed to add pupils until they have left for at least 12 months and are over 18.
I never request former pupils but I do occassionally accept them if it's after a couple of years. But I am careful who I add.
Edit: just read the OPs solution, it sounds best all round:)
This post is just silly and the last line made me go :eek:
I mean, really?
People like you make everything worse!
Here on our Greek island, people do check up on each other frequently - but only because they like to help out in times of trouble. All this stupidity about not taking photos of children, or not communicating with them because someone might report you, simply doesn't exist here.
Yes there are probably paedophiles around. But the Greeks dish out their own kind of justice, which usually doesn't involve the authorities.
I have 3 Parents on my facebook, but that's only because I know them tbh. I wouldn't accept any parents request either tbh. As then I have the task of making some of my pictures private, because my bf was a teacher at the school and simply don't want them knowing my business of what I done on holiday lol.
I agree that the UK is absolutely ludicrious when it comes to this stuff, but there doesn't seem to be any way to prevent the stupidiy from growing, so people need to be extremely careful. It's a bunch of crap, and I hate it, but there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it.