But why didn’t you warn me?’ I wailed. ‘What is the point of the tarot if it predicts death and we can do nothing about it?’
She said she didn’t think it applied to any of the animals.
"I just assumed, and hoped, it was the DIrty Baker, or some other person who takes you away from me and our pets, dearest Liz."
Lizzie’s vet bills plus horse ambulances are hovering around £9,000, and the insurance company won’t pay up.
Not even the £1,200 I’m supposed to receive upon her death.
Hasn't she only been dead a few days, at the time of writing?
‘If you want to play with guns, go and fight the Taliban!’ Nic told him.
Bless. Nic hasn't picked up a newspaper for years, clearly.
So she is still a stupid selfish mare it seems. When I was depressed and tired years ago Mr BC still wanted to come round and see me, even just to sit in silence watching films. Because he missed me and wanted to hold my hand. That Lizard, is love. That is what baker boy is trying to offer you but you are just too dim to notice. I'm sure all those years of living off lettuce leaves have affected her brain you know.
Love isn't all expensive body oil, wiping the bottom of the milk bottle or having perfect lighting in the bathroom and a tidy garden. It's about being happy enough to sit in your jimjams with no make up on, having a cuddle watching something you both like and sharing a packet of biccies or making each other laugh.... just being normal and enjoying the person you are with.
It's not about you Liz, it's about poor baker boy as well. I bet all he wants to do is be able to sit on a sofa with her to have a hug without her hyperventilating because he is messing up her Prada cashmere throw that the puppy keeps weeing on)
That sums up exactly how I feel about their situation.
There's a decade between the ages of myself and my partner, and Liz and David; but we've reached an age where it's just lovely to be able to 'veg-out' and watch 'crap-TV' at weekends... even if the lightbulb in the bathroom has blown.
We give each other space during the week to run around like idiots, only to get together at the weekend, and chill... Quite often we shag like bunnies, sometimes we cuddle and stroke, and at others we just so zzz'd... that we zzzz. Those are special times for us because we have love and respect for each other.
I feel greatly for David, because whilst it's obvious for most of us that there are many fish in the sea... he's snagged a shark that's devouring him and he needs to cut it loose.
In some ways I actually feel quite sorry for the woman - she is so totally deluded and lives in a fantasy world. I actually believe that she thinks SATC is a documentary of real life. Like the characters are real people.
Ummm... as D'Scrace has been a baker for a good few years, surely he'd have become accustomed to the 3am starts ?
As for the rest, well, it's just more fodder for my increasingly tenable theory that every week she messages him, saying "this is what I've written about us this week and if you don't like it, remember, never date a journalist, I can make your life much more uncomfortable than it currently is".
This week's Dreary ? Pure fiction - only the names have not been changed. Checked Nic's FB front page - not a single word about the horse dying, from her or anyone else.
He sent me a text on Friday evening, saying he has been playing my ex’s new record and ‘I’m convinced it’s about you. Makes it uncomfortable listening.’
Oh! Guess who has a new single out... Give it up Jonesy.
. When the light settles down here in Honest Town you'll see
There's still something between you and me
And when we turn on our ways back to honest days you'll find
In some ways I actually feel quite sorry for the woman - she is so totally deluded and lives in a fantasy world. I actually believe that she thinks SATC is a documentary of real life. Like the characters are real people.
Its quite sad really.
You mean ... SATC isn't real? Nooooooooo! Surely some mistake - Lizard and I know better, oh yes we do. If we bankrupt ourselves on soft buttery suede knickers and VB schmutter, dye our tumbling locks a fetching shade of Coal Hole Nites, get ourselves plucked, Botoxed, bleached, and our wrinkles filled in, and never eat anything more hearty than half a cucumber slice, then it's just a matter of time until Mr. Big sweeps us off our Manolos and bears us to his penthouse, with working light-bulbs in the bog and a No Smoking sign hung over the bed upon which he intends to roger us left, right and sideways.
Lizard - take no notice of busy_bee - WE know the truth, don't we? When it comes to SATC, you are indeed Living The Dream ...
I really don't know why she wants him to propose, she really can't stand him. It's like they are coming to the end of a relationship where every little thing irritates, as opposed to just starting out with high hopes, expectations and fun.
Seriously, words fail me. Just read the other column. She writes about the money she was left by her mum. Is that what us funding the weekend? What about the vets bills etc..
Why do the commenters seem to think the RS was Robert Plant?
And yeah, that minibreak sounds so great. The last one IIRC was "make or break" so I seriously doubt this one will be in any way different, unless of course the Baker dumps her, which I would very much like to see.
"Liz, here we are in the most romantic city in the world, and I've got something to tell you."
"Well don't just sit there. What is it? And say it clearly because I am deaf."
"I want you to know that I will always care for you. You and your gold Dunhill lighter and expensive iPad have truly enriched my life. In fact it's thanks to the iPad and its wonderful connection to the internet that I can tell you what I need to tell you. I have been able to see for some time now that I can never make you happy. And, well, I have met someone who makes ME happy and who loves me just as I am. She's an old girlfriend from years ago. We reconnected on the internet. We're going to be married."
"David! I thought you loved me! How can you do this to me here over dinner in the most romantic city in the world?"
My those poor laboratory chimps have been bashing out Liz’s column for her again on their rusty typewriters. I hope they have time to complete her ‘novel’ for her as well in time for the Xmas market next year. Hope we all got a full house on the Liz bingo cards.
Sue Needleman
Carrie Bradshaw
Expensive weekend in Paris
Expensive meal in Paris
David not proposing
Dig at David’s ex
David’s indifference 30 years ago
Fictitious Rock Star
Broken bathroom light
David's cheap presents
Dead mother
Dead horse
Bitchy dig at St. Nic
Texts, texts, texts and more ruddy texting...
Ummm... as D'Scrace has been a baker for a good few years, surely he'd have become accustomed to the 3am starts ?
As for the rest, well, it's just more fodder for my increasingly tenable theory that every week she messages him, saying "this is what I've written about us this week and if you don't like it, remember, never date a journalist, I can make your life much more uncomfortable than it currently is".
This week's Dreary ? Pure fiction - only the names have not been changed. Checked Nic's FB front page - not a single word about the horse dying, from her or anyone else.
Actually she did post about it on the 2nd November - she had obviously been embargoed until the big Dreary Reveal and fifteen people commented. Not several hundred.
Most odd - don't doubt fitnessqueen for a moment, but all I can see for 2nd November is a photo of the back of a horse's head that has nine likes and one comment of "Xx". Bizarre.
Most odd - don't doubt fitnessqueen for a moment, but all I can see for 2nd November is a photo of the back of a horse's head that has nine likes and one comment of "Xx". Bizarre.
When scrolling down it should give the option of "highlights" or "all stories" I think. Click on "all stories". It doesn't work on a mobile device as I can't see the post on my iPad but could definitely see it on my laptop earlier. I saw it when she originally posted it and went back to see it it had been deleted.
When scrolling down it should give the option of "highlights" or "all stories" I think. Click on "all stories". It doesn't work on a mobile device as I can't see the post on my iPad but could definitely see it on my laptop earlier. I saw it when she originally posted it and went back to see it it had been deleted.
Ah, so looks like her 'employer' (who btw didn't 'like' it) may have requested a delete. Thanks.
Morning all. I haven't posted for a while simply because there hasn't been much to say. The Dreary has wandered off into a weird twilight zone of unbelievable twaddle... whether it be the fictitious 'hundreds' of comments on Nic's FB page to the oh-so-subtle JK references (with a couple of her minions taking the curse off it by throwing a very odd Robert Plant red herring into the mix). I imagine it's all part of her monomania that she doesn't think that there are any other frames of reference in the world but her own written word. That and the drink-induced lapses of memory (scots accent, buzz cut, foreign hotel, alcoholic) which are starting to make her columns a childish 'spot the difference' game. I imagine we are being led through hotel reception to a 'dumped for Christmas' or 'engaged for Christmas' (the latter coming with a lavishly illustrated feature) reveal. I fing myself becoming actively disinterested in the mad old Baggage's life these days... there is nothing of interest within. Save the same old litany of animals suffering and dying.
The latest op-ed piece about how she simply loves fatties was a bit of a shark-hurdler moment in my opinion. It was laughably off the pace (again) and didn't even get the click-bait response I imagine it was hoping for. Nope... the poor old dear has shot her bolt. I would be sorry if DMGT took a leaf out of Jonesey's own book and let her continue to suffer unneccessarily.
Just had a bit of a Road-to-Damascus moment. According to Nic, Jones was utterly devastated by the ailing nag going paws up... but, evidently, not so devastated that she couldn't inform Ms Bebb that on no account was she to mention said event until the rancid old hag had announced it in the Dreary some four weeks later. Maybe it's just me but, given that Nic had far, far more contact with the horse than Jones ever did, and nursed it during pretty much all its myriad illnesses, to call such an edict heartless is a gross understatement. Disgusting... and exactly what I've come to expect of the vile old harridan.
I've never understood the four week time-lapse before her drooling the Dreary out into a filched exercise book in green ink, and its publication. It's not like it goes through any editing...
Comments
"I just assumed, and hoped, it was the DIrty Baker, or some other person who takes you away from me and our pets, dearest Liz."
Hasn't she only been dead a few days, at the time of writing?
Bless. Nic hasn't picked up a newspaper for years, clearly.
That sums up exactly how I feel about their situation.
There's a decade between the ages of myself and my partner, and Liz and David; but we've reached an age where it's just lovely to be able to 'veg-out' and watch 'crap-TV' at weekends... even if the lightbulb in the bathroom has blown.
We give each other space during the week to run around like idiots, only to get together at the weekend, and chill... Quite often we shag like bunnies, sometimes we cuddle and stroke, and at others we just so zzz'd... that we zzzz. Those are special times for us because we have love and respect for each other.
I feel greatly for David, because whilst it's obvious for most of us that there are many fish in the sea... he's snagged a shark that's devouring him and he needs to cut it loose.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2853106/Liz-Jones-s-Diary-plan-romantic-make-mini-break-Paris.html
In some ways I actually feel quite sorry for the woman - she is so totally deluded and lives in a fantasy world. I actually believe that she thinks SATC is a documentary of real life. Like the characters are real people.
Its quite sad really.
As for the rest, well, it's just more fodder for my increasingly tenable theory that every week she messages him, saying "this is what I've written about us this week and if you don't like it, remember, never date a journalist, I can make your life much more uncomfortable than it currently is".
This week's Dreary ? Pure fiction - only the names have not been changed. Checked Nic's FB front page - not a single word about the horse dying, from her or anyone else.
Oh! Guess who has a new single out... Give it up Jonesy.
You mean ... SATC isn't real? Nooooooooo! Surely some mistake - Lizard and I know better, oh yes we do. If we bankrupt ourselves on soft buttery suede knickers and VB schmutter, dye our tumbling locks a fetching shade of Coal Hole Nites, get ourselves plucked, Botoxed, bleached, and our wrinkles filled in, and never eat anything more hearty than half a cucumber slice, then it's just a matter of time until Mr. Big sweeps us off our Manolos and bears us to his penthouse, with working light-bulbs in the bog and a No Smoking sign hung over the bed upon which he intends to roger us left, right and sideways.
Lizard - take no notice of busy_bee - WE know the truth, don't we? When it comes to SATC, you are indeed Living The Dream ...
But now, all the comments have disappeared... was it something we said?
And yeah, that minibreak sounds so great. The last one IIRC was "make or break" so I seriously doubt this one will be in any way different, unless of course the Baker dumps her, which I would very much like to see.
"Liz, here we are in the most romantic city in the world, and I've got something to tell you."
"Well don't just sit there. What is it? And say it clearly because I am deaf."
"I want you to know that I will always care for you. You and your gold Dunhill lighter and expensive iPad have truly enriched my life. In fact it's thanks to the iPad and its wonderful connection to the internet that I can tell you what I need to tell you. I have been able to see for some time now that I can never make you happy. And, well, I have met someone who makes ME happy and who loves me just as I am. She's an old girlfriend from years ago. We reconnected on the internet. We're going to be married."
"David! I thought you loved me! How can you do this to me here over dinner in the most romantic city in the world?"
"Well that's why I'm paying for dinner...."
Sue Needleman
Carrie Bradshaw
Expensive weekend in Paris
Expensive meal in Paris
David not proposing
Dig at David’s ex
David’s indifference 30 years ago
Fictitious Rock Star
Broken bathroom light
David's cheap presents
Dead mother
Dead horse
Bitchy dig at St. Nic
Texts, texts, texts and more ruddy texting...
Actually she did post about it on the 2nd November - she had obviously been embargoed until the big Dreary Reveal and fifteen people commented. Not several hundred.
When scrolling down it should give the option of "highlights" or "all stories" I think. Click on "all stories". It doesn't work on a mobile device as I can't see the post on my iPad but could definitely see it on my laptop earlier. I saw it when she originally posted it and went back to see it it had been deleted.
Ah, so looks like her 'employer' (who btw didn't 'like' it) may have requested a delete. Thanks.
I can also see numerous posts about homeless animals in need of owners. Shudder. Don't let them go to Liz!
The latest op-ed piece about how she simply loves fatties was a bit of a shark-hurdler moment in my opinion. It was laughably off the pace (again) and didn't even get the click-bait response I imagine it was hoping for. Nope... the poor old dear has shot her bolt. I would be sorry if DMGT took a leaf out of Jonesey's own book and let her continue to suffer unneccessarily.