The Weedy Review
As all the reviews are becoming more realistic and less nice and twee, perhaps I should change my style and be pleasant and positive about the songs for a change? Naaah…
Biebers – a bunch of nobodies singing a dull song. And lads, stop being so dull and rethink the band name. Sia – disturbing video – is that her? She’s badly in need of a good meal. Even more irritating is she appears as one of the youtube adverts as well. Heaton & Abbott – English Country and Western imitators. I don’t even like real Country and Western. Christine + Queens – feeble voice, feeble song, someone doing a silly dance in the video. Yohanna & Baggalutur – where is the toilet roll holder dress? More country and western imitators, this time Icelandic. Yawn. Fawn – oh fabulous, folk music, another favourite of mine. Not. Did I spot a hurdy-gurdy? Sugarbabes – Which incarnation of the band is this? Do I care? Nope. First Aid Kit – Swedish Country and Western. Effin ell. This is all the Common Linnets fault. George Ezra – Interesting voice, but its still an ugly boy with spots and a guitar. G.R.L.- standard girl band fare, but as there is eye candy this is the first video of the top ten I watched to the end. Oonagh – was expecting some “diddle-y-eye-day” irish girl, but it turns out she’s German. (But clearly wants to be Irish (green dress, ginger hair, folk music)). Linda Eder – turgid ballad. Yawn. Debbie Gibson – see previous comment. Just because its from the 80s, doesn’t mean its any good. The Mess – perfect description of the song, the girlband, the outfits and the singing. Damn, other people have already said that. Who says French women dress stylishly, not this lot. Reality TV talent shows are the bane of the 21st Century. Kovacs – interesting voice, tedious song. Erin Bode – am I supposed to vote for this because of the vomit-inducing sob story? Don’t count on it. Alex + Sierra – More X Factor tosh. So boring they had to have puppets in the video. Bluebells – Scottish Indie rock band from the 80s claims Wiki. That wiki must have been written by a 20 year old as we didn’t call it indie back then, and it aint rock (of any variety). Dexys Midnight Runners copycat is more like it. The FM was clearly inspired by my Fantasy 1 entry, as Claire Grogan is in the cafe in the video. (Oh, have I just given myself away?) Agseisa – Indonesian artist. Irritating whine, like a fly stuck in the ear. Kent – Swedish rock/pop band. Ordinary. Ace Wilder – forgettable, repetitive and tuneless. Like sitting on a train and finding yourself near a person with an IPod up loud. Ting-tingy-ting, ting-tingy-ting. Leningrad – described as “ska-punk” on wiki. Ok, I can live with that. But not with his terrible voice. And the girl needs feeding up. Florrie – I had a great aunt called Florrie. It isn’t her. But she could sing something better than this tuneless drivel. Mika – every year this wretch turns up in the fantasy contest, with what seems to be the same song. And every year we send him packing. Don’t let me down this year people. nick1990s entry (or BigBMad if hes playing again). Kyary Pamyu – Oh dear, which FM is hankering back for his/her childhood. Still watching CBeebies or Citv? Bizarre and not in a good way. No, spindiddly, its very wrong. Nina Perrson – Pop rock song from the lead singer of the Cardigans. A Swede, but you can tell she lives in New York City. Bland. Rebecca Ferguson – Oh dear yet another X-factor “star” – in fact the great British public pretty much picked the same singer three times in four years (Lewis/Burke/Ferguson) which simply indicates the tastes of those stupid enough to watch it. Same-old song, regurgitated. Moya – Pretty girl, miserable song. That is far too much grizzling for a 22 year old, someone pour a bottle of Lambrini into her and take her dancing. Marillion – allegedly melodic rock from the 80s, toned down to get a big mainstream hit. If you wondered why all the 20-something female chavs in their tracksuit bottoms and with their assorted multi-coloured kids hanging out outside Tescos are all called Kayleigh, this 1985 hit is the reason. Dami Im-Yet another X-Factor singer, they just all sound the same. Enjoy your five minutes of fame dear, and then get a proper job. Tila Tequila-Tiny slutty Singaporean “actress” (I use the word loosely) with a terrible song and a watchable video. Ginie Line-More French wailing misery. Marco Mengoni- Oh Lordi, now an Italian X-Factor reject. Come on people, can’t you find anything original? Bloke grizzling. Nadia Almada- Since I have never watched Big Brother I have no idea who this is. Presumably famous for five minutes in 2004, this is truly a terrible song and singing. Ella Henderson- More X-Factor shit, see Marco.
Welcome to Heat 2, y’all. Below you’ll find 35 songs battling it out to win this heat. The running order was created using Random.org, so I’m sorry if you got a crappy draw! Anyway…
Voting closes at 17:00 on Sunday 13th July with results taking place at 18:00. Failure to vote constitutes a [highlight]33% reduction[/highlight] in your overall points, and you are banned from taking part in the next heat. Votes in the normal Eurovision style (12-1).
Still waiting for 17 voters. Voting closes tomorrow at 17:00 with results from around 18:00!
Just a heads up that I am going to be hosting the contest following the best of the NF rejects which opens up well later today.
The contest will be best song by a non-singer and as per the rules I will be accepting entries from Wednesday, but just wanted to let you all know so you can get some pre-work in if you want. I won't install too many rules in, but as long as your entrant is not or was not primarily known as a singer or was not trying to forge out a music career they will probably be allowed,
Anyways, that's for Wednesday so more details will be posted then.
Just a heads up that I am going to be hosting the contest following the best of the NF rejects which opens up well later today.
The contest will be best song by a non-singer and as per the rules I will be accepting entries from Wednesday, but just wanted to let you all know so you can get some pre-work in if you want. I won't install too many rules in, but as long as your entrant is not or was not primarily known as a singer or was not trying to forge out a music career they will probably be allowed,
Anyways, that's for Wednesday so more details will be posted then.
So does it matter if it's an original song or cover version of a known song? This sounds really hard, at least there's prep time though.
Just a heads up that I am going to be hosting the contest following the best of the NF rejects which opens up well later today.
The contest will be best song by a non-singer and as per the rules I will be accepting entries from Wednesday, but just wanted to let you all know so you can get some pre-work in if you want. I won't install too many rules in, but as long as your entrant is not or was not primarily known as a singer or was not trying to forge out a music career they will probably be allowed,
Anyways, that's for Wednesday so more details will be posted then.
Bit confused. Can it be any song as long as the singer is not famous and How do You define non-singer?
Comments
Though the entry can change according to the rules
"You got comments spilling out your bag."
Now you say it, it does sound exactly like that!
Yep! http://esctoday.com/85364/malta-mesc-2015-national-final-november-22/
Could this be the earliest selection date ever?
As all the reviews are becoming more realistic and less nice and twee, perhaps I should change my style and be pleasant and positive about the songs for a change? Naaah…
Biebers – a bunch of nobodies singing a dull song. And lads, stop being so dull and rethink the band name.
Sia – disturbing video – is that her? She’s badly in need of a good meal. Even more irritating is she appears as one of the youtube adverts as well.
Heaton & Abbott – English Country and Western imitators. I don’t even like real Country and Western.
Christine + Queens – feeble voice, feeble song, someone doing a silly dance in the video.
Yohanna & Baggalutur – where is the toilet roll holder dress? More country and western imitators, this time Icelandic. Yawn.
Fawn – oh fabulous, folk music, another favourite of mine. Not. Did I spot a hurdy-gurdy?
Sugarbabes – Which incarnation of the band is this? Do I care? Nope.
First Aid Kit – Swedish Country and Western. Effin ell. This is all the Common Linnets fault.
George Ezra – Interesting voice, but its still an ugly boy with spots and a guitar.
G.R.L.- standard girl band fare, but as there is eye candy this is the first video of the top ten I watched to the end.
Oonagh – was expecting some “diddle-y-eye-day” irish girl, but it turns out she’s German. (But clearly wants to be Irish (green dress, ginger hair, folk music)).
Linda Eder – turgid ballad. Yawn.
Debbie Gibson – see previous comment. Just because its from the 80s, doesn’t mean its any good.
The Mess – perfect description of the song, the girlband, the outfits and the singing. Damn, other people have already said that. Who says French women dress stylishly, not this lot. Reality TV talent shows are the bane of the 21st Century.
Kovacs – interesting voice, tedious song.
Erin Bode – am I supposed to vote for this because of the vomit-inducing sob story? Don’t count on it.
Alex + Sierra – More X Factor tosh. So boring they had to have puppets in the video.
Bluebells – Scottish Indie rock band from the 80s claims Wiki. That wiki must have been written by a 20 year old as we didn’t call it indie back then, and it aint rock (of any variety). Dexys Midnight Runners copycat is more like it. The FM was clearly inspired by my Fantasy 1 entry, as Claire Grogan is in the cafe in the video. (Oh, have I just given myself away?)
Agseisa – Indonesian artist. Irritating whine, like a fly stuck in the ear.
Kent – Swedish rock/pop band. Ordinary.
Ace Wilder – forgettable, repetitive and tuneless. Like sitting on a train and finding yourself near a person with an IPod up loud. Ting-tingy-ting, ting-tingy-ting.
Leningrad – described as “ska-punk” on wiki. Ok, I can live with that. But not with his terrible voice. And the girl needs feeding up.
Florrie – I had a great aunt called Florrie. It isn’t her. But she could sing something better than this tuneless drivel.
Mika – every year this wretch turns up in the fantasy contest, with what seems to be the same song. And every year we send him packing. Don’t let me down this year people. nick1990s entry (or BigBMad if hes playing again).
Kyary Pamyu – Oh dear, which FM is hankering back for his/her childhood. Still watching CBeebies or Citv? Bizarre and not in a good way. No, spindiddly, its very wrong.
Nina Perrson – Pop rock song from the lead singer of the Cardigans. A Swede, but you can tell she lives in New York City. Bland.
Rebecca Ferguson – Oh dear yet another X-factor “star” – in fact the great British public pretty much picked the same singer three times in four years (Lewis/Burke/Ferguson) which simply indicates the tastes of those stupid enough to watch it. Same-old song, regurgitated.
Moya – Pretty girl, miserable song. That is far too much grizzling for a 22 year old, someone pour a bottle of Lambrini into her and take her dancing.
Marillion – allegedly melodic rock from the 80s, toned down to get a big mainstream hit. If you wondered why all the 20-something female chavs in their tracksuit bottoms and with their assorted multi-coloured kids hanging out outside Tescos are all called Kayleigh, this 1985 hit is the reason.
Dami Im-Yet another X-Factor singer, they just all sound the same. Enjoy your five minutes of fame dear, and then get a proper job.
Tila Tequila-Tiny slutty Singaporean “actress” (I use the word loosely) with a terrible song and a watchable video.
Ginie Line-More French wailing misery.
Marco Mengoni- Oh Lordi, now an Italian X-Factor reject. Come on people, can’t you find anything original? Bloke grizzling.
Nadia Almada- Since I have never watched Big Brother I have no idea who this is. Presumably famous for five minutes in 2004, this is truly a terrible song and singing.
Ella Henderson- More X-Factor shit, see Marco.
I have to vote for 10 of these?
Who's for the Red Dwarf Theme in the next Fantasy?!
Still waiting for 17 voters. Voting closes tomorrow at 17:00 with results from around 18:00!
PON PON WAY WAY WAY PON PON WAY PON WAY PON PON
Oooh good, it'll be a belated birthday treat.
It's disturbingly catchy I'll give it that.
The contest will be best song by a non-singer and as per the rules I will be accepting entries from Wednesday, but just wanted to let you all know so you can get some pre-work in if you want. I won't install too many rules in, but as long as your entrant is not or was not primarily known as a singer or was not trying to forge out a music career they will probably be allowed,
Anyways, that's for Wednesday so more details will be posted then.
So does it matter if it's an original song or cover version of a known song? This sounds really hard, at least there's prep time though.
This picture of Moran breaks my heart
I'm allowing cover versions, as from my recollection a lot songs by people who are known in other roles are actually covers.
I thought it was something a little different but a bit hard, that's why I am giving you all a bit extra time.
No.
The contest will be best song by a non-singer and as per the rules I will be accepting entries from Wednesday,
I think it's just extra time for us to get our thinking caps on.
Oooooh! I got a bit confused by people saying they got their entries, I thought that meant they had already submitted them.
Bit confused. Can it be any song as long as the singer is not famous and How do You define non-singer?