Maybe it is not really in the human nature to stay faithful and we just try to do so because morality teaches us so, maybe we were not programmed to do so but have in many cases evolved to try?
Sadly I think there could be some truth in this. Longterm fidelity is something we feel is morally right but it seems to be very difficult to achieve.
Logic suggests that statistics for cheating are likely to be equal between genders and this survey doesn't reveal anything that challenges that.
Maybe it is not really in the human nature to stay faithful and we just try to do so because morality teaches us so, maybe we were not programmed to do so but have in many cases evolved to try?
Or, they don't to risk in any way losing their loved one.
Maybe it is not really in the human nature to stay faithful and we just try to do so because morality teaches us so, maybe we were not programmed to do so but have in many cases evolved to try?
If you really love your partner, why on earth would you go out of your way to destroy them ? (yes, 'destroy' is the right word to use re. extra-marital affairs etc..).
All this nonsense about 'evolving; with respect, I've never heard so much sh*t in all my life.
We have a conscious; we have a soul; we know the difference between right and wrong. That's what makes us (decent) human beings.
But many people do manage to stay faithful, and they want to be monogmous so it's not an effort for them.
Others, like myself, probably couldn't. So I avoid serious relationships altogether.
Like any other trait, individuals vary in their behaviour. I just think it would save a lot of hurt and heartache if people who find it difficult to be faithful would remain free and single. That way they won't be cheating on anyone in the first place. Social pressures to be in a relationship these days aren't nearly as strong as they used to be - so don't become involved in one if you are likely to stray! Or come out of one if you are feeling the urges to do so.
Excellent post and advice, sexy! I don't suppose I can tempt you yet ......................................?
I don't know how reliable those statistics are. I think it just depends on the individual, not which gender cheats more. But, women are let off easier than men when they cheat. Like in the movies, when a man cheats it's seen as a bad thing, but when a woman cheats it's like she's doing the right thing.
They aren't statistics, it's just questions asked of people in the street.
If you really love your partner, why on earth would you go out of your way to destroy them ? (yes, 'destroy' is the right word to use re. extra-marital affairs etc..).
All this nonsense about 'evolving; with respect, I've never heard so much sh*t in all my life.
We have a conscious; we have a soul; we know the difference between right and wrong. That's what makes us (decent) human beings.
Not animals.
So why do people feel compelled to cheat?
Why can a person not be inlove with more than one person?
Why for instance in our society are we only allowed one wife, when in others many choose and want to have multiple spouses?
I think it all comes down to respect for all. If your partner(s) are happy for you to engage in 'other stuff', then I guess nothing else can be said.
It's only when there's objection from the parties involved, that (serious) problems arise.
but if I wanted to marry 2 men and they were happy with it, I would not be allowed. i would not be allowed because of laws imposed on me which were born from i would think religion, ultimately.
Society teaches us cheating is wrong, where as other societies see monogamy as bizarre.
Marriage is bizarre to me anyway. I do not see what it achieves to be honest apart from putting restrictions and pressure on you.
If you really love your partner, why on earth would you go out of your way to destroy them ? (yes, 'destroy' is the right word to use re. extra-marital affairs etc..).
All this nonsense about 'evolving; with respect, I've never heard so much sh*t in all my life.
We have a conscious; we have a soul; we know the difference between right and wrong. That's what makes us (decent) human beings.
Not animals.
I get what you're saying here and agree about how destructive cheating can be.
But I know an number of people who have cheated ...they have a conscience, a soul (possibly), they know the difference between right and wrong and they are decent human beings.
There is also that statistic that roughly 10% of humans have a different father to the man they believe is their father - this is apparently pretty consistent through cultures and history.
It seems that monogamy isn't easy for many people.
but if I wanted to marry 2 men and they were happy with it, I would not be allowed. i would not be allowed because of laws imposed on me which were born from i would think religion, ultimately.
Society teaches us cheating is wrong, where as other societies see monogamy as bizarre.
Marriage is bizarre to me anyway. I do not see what it achieves to be honest apart from putting restrictions and pressure on you.
But cheating and polygamy are not the same thing.
It's the deciept that makes affairs morally wrong, not the idea of having multiple partners (in my opinion anyway).
but if I wanted to marry 2 men and they were happy with it, I would not be allowed. i would not be allowed because of laws imposed on me which were born from i would think religion, ultimately.
Society teaches us cheating is wrong, where as other societies see monogamy as bizarre.
Marriage is bizarre to me anyway. I do not see what it achieves to be honest apart from putting restrictions and pressure on you.
Well, I'd say (for obvious reasons), that marriage gives that extra 'blanket' for couples to stick together (no matter what).
And if they've got kids, it makes sense for both parents not to leave (or engage in 'extra activity' outside of their partnership).
It's the deciept that makes affairs morally wrong, not the idea of multiple partners (in my opinion anyway).
Oh I know what you mean. My point is that if our society allowed us to have more than one spouse, I am sure plenty would do so and more would be open to the idea.
I am trying to ask whether we find cheating so abhorrent because society has made us that way, or whether we are creatures that were made to be monogamous.
Well, I'd say (for obvious reasons), that marriage gives that extra 'blanket' for couples to stick together (no matter what).And if they've got kids, it makes sense for both parents not to leave (or engage in 'extra activity' outside of their partnership).
I disagree, most of my friends parted not long after the vows. I actually think marriage can break a couple.
Oh I know what you mean. My point is that if our society allowed us to have more than one spouse, I am sure plenty would do so and more would be open to the idea.
I am trying to ask whether we find cheating so abhorrent because society has made us that way, or whether we are creatures that were made to be monogamous.
I suppose the nearest couples in our society have to polygamy is having an 'open relationship'.
In principle I'm not against the idea that people should be allowed as many husbands or wives as they like!
Comments
Sadly I think there could be some truth in this. Longterm fidelity is something we feel is morally right but it seems to be very difficult to achieve.
Logic suggests that statistics for cheating are likely to be equal between genders and this survey doesn't reveal anything that challenges that.
Or, they don't to risk in any way losing their loved one.
If you really love your partner, why on earth would you go out of your way to destroy them ? (yes, 'destroy' is the right word to use re. extra-marital affairs etc..).
All this nonsense about 'evolving; with respect, I've never heard so much sh*t in all my life.
We have a conscious; we have a soul; we know the difference between right and wrong. That's what makes us (decent) human beings.
Not animals.
Excellent post and advice, sexy! I don't suppose I can tempt you yet ......................................?
*sigh*
They aren't statistics, it's just questions asked of people in the street.
You've come closer than any other woman if that makes you feel better JD!
So why do people feel compelled to cheat?
Why can a person not be inlove with more than one person?
Why for instance in our society are we only allowed one wife, when in others many choose and want to have multiple spouses?
I think it all comes down to respect for all. If your partner(s) are happy for you to engage in 'other stuff', then I guess nothing else can be said.
It's only when there's objection from the parties involved, that (serious) problems arise.
*swoon*
What can I say, I'm a bit of a DS tart!
but if I wanted to marry 2 men and they were happy with it, I would not be allowed. i would not be allowed because of laws imposed on me which were born from i would think religion, ultimately.
Society teaches us cheating is wrong, where as other societies see monogamy as bizarre.
Marriage is bizarre to me anyway. I do not see what it achieves to be honest apart from putting restrictions and pressure on you.
I get what you're saying here and agree about how destructive cheating can be.
But I know an number of people who have cheated ...they have a conscience, a soul (possibly), they know the difference between right and wrong and they are decent human beings.
There is also that statistic that roughly 10% of humans have a different father to the man they believe is their father - this is apparently pretty consistent through cultures and history.
It seems that monogamy isn't easy for many people.
But cheating and polygamy are not the same thing.
It's the deciept that makes affairs morally wrong, not the idea of having multiple partners (in my opinion anyway).
Well, I'd say (for obvious reasons), that marriage gives that extra 'blanket' for couples to stick together (no matter what).
And if they've got kids, it makes sense for both parents not to leave (or engage in 'extra activity' outside of their partnership).
Oh I know what you mean. My point is that if our society allowed us to have more than one spouse, I am sure plenty would do so and more would be open to the idea.
I am trying to ask whether we find cheating so abhorrent because society has made us that way, or whether we are creatures that were made to be monogamous.
I disagree, most of my friends parted not long after the vows. I actually think marriage can break a couple.
I suppose the nearest couples in our society have to polygamy is having an 'open relationship'.
In principle I'm not against the idea that people should be allowed as many husbands or wives as they like!
If you ever run for Prime Minister, you've got my vote!
lol - Not sure that's wise. I'd pick the dishiest MP's to be in my Cabinet if I was elected PM. Sod their credentials!
They should be shouldn't they? This must be more about those who admit it!
Not really. You could have for example 5 million of one sex, but they are all cheating with members of the opposite sex who are free agents.
But I thought the free agents were considered cheating if their lover wasn't free?
I wouldn't say so. It's the attached person that's the cheat, in my view anyway. The free agent has nobody to cheat on.