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Do You See Life as a Gift?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,910
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in General Discussion #1
I hear so often people say 'being alive is a 'gift' cherish it, make the most of it' blah blah

I don't quite see it this way myself. i didn't ask to be born and i had no say in the matter and had anyone asked me first i probably would have said i'll pass. Life is too much bloody hassle for my liking :D
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #2
    I don't see it as a gift, like you say I didn't ask to be born and also like you if I had of been I would have said no
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    Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #3
    pjw1985 wrote: »
    i didn't ask to be born and i had no say in the matter and had anyone asked me first i probably would have said i'll pass. Life is too much bloody hassle for my liking :D
    EbonyHamster wrote: »
    I don't see it as a gift, like you say I didn't ask to be born and also like you if I had of been I would have said no



    I can't even begin to imagine feeling like that. And I've felt so bad in the past I wondered if there was any point carrying on at all. But it was fleeting, and life got better.

    Of course you should cherish and make the most of the life you have, you don't get another one and it's the only thing you will ever have.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,910
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    #4
    Bex_123 wrote: »
    Of course you should cherish and make the most of the life you have, you don't get another one

    Is this a bad thing?! :p
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    spookyLXspookyLX Posts: 11,730
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    #5
    I used to feel like that when I was ill with depression , now I am better I am grateful I am alive
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    Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #6
    pjw1985 wrote: »
    Is this a bad thing?! :p

    It's not bad or good really, is it? It just is.
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    Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #7
    None of us had the option of being born or not, what a ridiculous concept.

    For goodness sake, start looking at life in a more positive way. I know several people who have life limiting illnesses and would swap places with you in a heartbeat.
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    Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #8
    spookyLX wrote: »
    I used to feel like that when I was ill with depression , now I am better I am grateful I am alive

    So glad you are better, Spooky.
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #9
    Frankie_Little wrote: »
    None of us had the option of being born or not, what a ridiculous concept.

    For goodness sake, start looking at life in a more positive way. I know several people who have life limiting illnesses and would swap places with you in a heartbeat.

    You have no idea what OPs life is like, ever thought he/she (sorry OP I dunno if you're male or female) has one of those conditions and that's why they feel like they do
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    TrollHunterTrollHunter Posts: 12,496
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    #10
    It's not a gift, it's just 'life'. Although if it was a gift, who would it be from?
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #11
    TrollHunter wrote: »
    It's not a gift, it's just 'life'. Although if it was a gift, who would it be from?

    Your parents, they made you
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    Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #12
    EbonyHamster wrote: »
    You have no idea what OPs life is like, ever thought he/she (sorry OP I dunno if you're male or female) has one of those conditions and that's why they feel like they do

    I'd stake my salary and my house on the fact the original poster isn't terminally ill.
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #13
    Frankie_Little wrote: »
    I'd stake my salary and my house on the fact the original poster isn't terminally ill.

    Terminally ill isn't the only problem that can make you dislike life
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    TardisSteveTardisSteve Posts: 8,077
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    #14
    i am finding life difficult to cope with at the moment , anyone who wants to swap lives with me is welcome to it
    EbonyHamster wrote: »
    Terminally ill isn't the only problem that can make you dislike life

    exactly, well said
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    LyceumLyceum Posts: 3,399
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    #15
    No and yes.

    I value other peoples lives but find my own generally pointless and a massive chore.
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    TardisSteveTardisSteve Posts: 8,077
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    #16
    Frankie_Little wrote: »

    For goodness sake, start looking at life in a more positive way. I know several people who have life limiting illnesses and would swap places with you in a heartbeat.

    it is very easy to tell someone to be positive but it mahy be very hard for that person to put it into practice,

    my mother suffers from rapid cycling bipolar http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder , right now she is going through one of her bad cycles, perhaps i should tell her to be more positive, see if it works, i doubt it will do much help somehow , she has been on a 3 week well, 3 weeks bad cycle since 2011, looking after her when she is like this is extremely difficult for me and dad wand has had a profound effect on our own mental health

    perhaps all i need to do is to be positive and all our troubles will go away
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    U96U96 Posts: 13,937
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    #17
    I think it just depends on your circumstances.Are you born into poverty with no hope?.Are you living a nightmare with health problems?.That's no gift.
    For those who aren't,i guess you could say it is.
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #18
    TardisSteve wrote: »
    it is very easy to tell someone to be positive but it mahy be very hard for that person to put it into practice,

    my mother suffers from rapid cycling bipolar http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder , right now she is going through one of her bad cycles, perhaps i should tell her to be more positive, see if it works, i doubt it will do much help somehow , she has been on a 3 week well, 3 weeks bad cycle since 2011, looking after her when she is like this is extremely difficult for me and dad who is not well himself

    perhaps all i need to do is to be positive and all our troubles will go away

    It really annoys me when people have the others are so much worse off than you so cheer up attitude!
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    TardisSteveTardisSteve Posts: 8,077
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    #19
    EbonyHamster wrote: »
    It really annoys me when people have the others are so much worse off than you so cheer up attitude!

    that annoys me too
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #20
    TardisSteve wrote: »
    that annoys me too

    Pleased its not just me that gets annoyed with that
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    Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #21
    EbonyHamster wrote: »
    It really annoys me when people have the others are so much worse off than you so cheer up attitude!

    Someone once said to me "You wouldn't tell someone not to be happy because others have it better, so why tell someone not to be sad because others have it worse?"

    I agree completely. However, I do also think a positive attitude can make a massive difference. I am not suggesting people with depression or any health problem in fact can automatically change how their mind works or their mood or their circumstances, but sometimes there are things you can do to make it easier on yourself.

    I suffered with crippling depression for years and I still do. But I do now use CBT based techniques to help me manage some of it. I still have days where I am convinced my life is utter crap and I'd be better off not here, but now I can recognise that those thoughts are just my pesky chemically-confused brain trying to get in the way.

    At the end of the day, this is the only life I will ever have. No matter how bad things are, often you can find ways of coping and dealing with things to make it easier. I think that is what people are getting at when they say be positive. I used to get angry and think they meant I should be positive and cure my own mental illness. But that's not what they meant, rather that I should learn to live with what I have, as I'm not getting another one.
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    DinkyDoobieDinkyDoobie Posts: 17,786
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    #22
    The only part of it that is a gift is when you parents, intentionally or not gave you life. The rest of what is in the box you put in your self.
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    sandydunesandydune Posts: 10,986
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    #23
    pjw1985 wrote:
    I hear so often people say 'being alive is a 'gift' cherish it, make the most of it' blah blah

    I don't quite see it this way myself. i didn't ask to be born and i had no say in the matter and had anyone asked me first i probably would have said i'll pass. Life is too much bloody hassle for my liking :D
    Interesting, You do know, hassles can be far and in between, so if you can, each day, enjoy, something, someone may just be enough to make you smile, laugh and think of others and you are you, sometimes great and sometimes small and in every way, depending on where you are standing but aren't we all and that is what makes life worthwhile.
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    EbonyHamsterEbonyHamster Posts: 8,175
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    #24
    Bex_123 wrote: »
    Someone once said to me "You wouldn't tell someone not to be happy because others have it better, so why tell someone not to be sad because others have it worse?"

    I agree completely. However, I do also think a positive attitude can make a massive difference. I am not suggesting people with depression or any health problem in fact can automatically change how their mind works or their mood or their circumstances, but sometimes there are things you can do to make it easier on yourself.

    I suffered with crippling depression for years and I still do. But I do now use CBT based techniques to help me manage some of it. I still have days where I am convinced my life is utter crap and I'd be better off not here, but now I can recognise that those thoughts are just my pesky chemically-confused brain trying to get in the way.

    At the end of the day, this is the only life I will ever have. No matter how bad things are, often you can find ways of coping and dealing with things to make it easier. I think that is what people are getting at when they say be positive. I used to get angry and think they meant I should be positive and cure my own mental illness. But that's not what they meant, rather that I should learn to live with what I have, as I'm not getting another one.

    I think that's the problem with me, if I have a bad day I don't really have a way to cope with it
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    anne_666anne_666 Posts: 72,891
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    #25
    Bex_123 wrote: »
    Someone once said to me "You wouldn't tell someone not to be happy because others have it better, so why tell someone not to be sad because others have it worse?"

    I agree completely. However, I do also think a positive attitude can make a massive difference. I am not suggesting people with depression or any health problem in fact can automatically change how their mind works or their mood or their circumstances, but sometimes there are things you can do to make it easier on yourself.

    I suffered with crippling depression for years and I still do. But I do now use CBT based techniques to help me manage some of it. I still have days where I am convinced my life is utter crap and I'd be better off not here, but now I can recognise that those thoughts are just my pesky chemically-confused brain trying to get in the way.

    At the end of the day, this is the only life I will ever have. No matter how bad things are, often you can find ways of coping and dealing with things to make it easier. I think that is what people are getting at when they say be positive. I used to get angry and think they meant I should be positive and cure my own mental illness. But that's not what they meant, rather that I should learn to live with what I have, as I'm not getting another one.

    So sad to read of your struggle Bex. I take it you've had CBT counselling? It's a hideous life sapping illness to deal with and good for you. I wish you well love. xx
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    Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #26
    anne_666 wrote: »
    So sad to read of your struggle Bex. I take it you've had CBT counselling? It's a hideous life sapping illness to deal with and good for you. I wish you well love. xx

    Thanks Anne! Yeah I had CBT as well as just counselling and it honestly changed my life. Which is funny, as actually nothing changed in my life at all. The situation is the same and the depression is still there. I just changed how I felt about it all.

    I would never suggest CBT is the be all and end all or even that it would work for other people. But I do think it's very easy with a lot of illnesses to focus on what you can't do and compare yourself to others. I found just focusing more on what I can do and what I do have makes the days when I feel hopeless so much less draining :)
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