It is wrong, Domestic Abuse should be treated equally across the board. One of the things I find sad is that DA against blokes is seen as some kind of joke by many.
Should be but isn't and never has been. How else could Tracy Andrews have got away with 14 years for murdering that youth? She stabbed the guy over 42 times FGS!
And yes, its seen as 'a joke' not only by blokes, but also women who are very dismissive, casual and often play it down with "it rarely happens" etc always followed by "women suffer far worse".
Oddly enough, it seems to be seen as a joke more by other men, rather than women.
That's what I meant, sorry didn't make myself clear. These blokes were Police Officers too (long story how I got involved) and although they knew they should/should have pressed charges they feared their colleague's reactions / ridicule.
Yes i agree it is. The wacko i was involved with was drinking but her manic psychotic behaviour was far more difficult to deal with.
Mix Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction and you've got the scenario. I sometimes think i could have wrote that damn script!
One thing leads to another, when crazy people drink it's a recipe for disaster and vice versa.
That's why it's so wrong that it's seen as a male on female problem, women are just as bad as men for abusing alcohol which is generally when the troubles occur,
One thing leads to another, when crazy people drink it's a recipe for disaster and vice versa.
That's why it's so wrong that it's seen as a male on female problem, women are just as bad as men for abusing alcohol which is generally when the troubles occur,
IIRC Domestic Abuse seems to spike at times, like Christmas, due to alcohol
Haven't read thread, have people started saying 'poor woman, I bet she was under pressure and tired and emotional and couldn't handle it any more. Hopefully she gets the help she needs' yet?
Haven't read thread, have people started saying 'poor woman, I bet she was under pressure and tired and emotional and couldn't handle it any more. Hopefully she gets the help she needs' yet?
I wonder whether a certain charity will start campaigning for her release, claiming her conviction and imprisonment is 'unfair' and will deter any women from reporting 'real' domestic violence...
I appreciate not everybody has the same cosmetic make-up as me and it's not this simplistic but if I was attacked by a woman who was my partner I would have no hesitation in restraining her before running a country mile so I would never be put in that position again.
I guess manipulation is the key as to why men get caught up in these situations.
I appreciate not everybody has the same cosmetic make-up as me and it's not this simplistic but if I was attacked by a woman who was my partner I would have no hesitation in restraining her before running a country mile so I would never be put in that position again.
I guess manipulation is the key as to why men get caught up in these situations.
Most people dont show their colours for a while ( if they did we would all run) They are lovely people, who start to to distance you from your family and friends, who make you very unsure of yourself.
I expect why its not as common women on man, is men are normally still the bread winner and go out to work every day and so they will have a "get out" will have a way to stash money away.
I know that is simplistic and wont fit all cases. But I know if I had not had three young children when I met my ex, that part of my life would never have happened.
Important to note the wording from that quote too....."thought to be" and "estimated". In other words it's possibly higher. Most men don't talk about it, not even to their closest friends and often doesn't come out for years.
Mr Lakie's ex was violent and he's always been very open about it. Thankfully, it was only when she was pissed and her co-ordination was rubbish, so she never managed to do anything serious, but he has some scars as a result. The worst injury was when she threw a breadboard at him and it cut a small artery in his temple. He didn't think it was serious and didn't want to go to hospital, but his sister insisted.
She was very controlling in other ways, too, tried to isolate him from his friends and family, controlled all the money and so on. It was a very typical abusive relationship.
I knew them both before they were together and throughout the relationship, and although I knew about the violence, I had no idea about most of the rest.
However, I think if female-on-male DV was as high as 40%, we'd see more cases where women have murdered their partners in violent outbursts, so I'm a bit sceptical about that.
Mr Lakie used to just hold his ex at arm's length when she got violent. She was short, so lacked the reach to do anything. She's got short legs too, so couldn't even kick him!
She'd struggle for a few minutes and sort of burn out her rage, then collapse in a drunken stupor.
I still find it hard to get my head around domestic violence happening against men. Obviously it happens an awful lot and is just as serious as domestic violence against a women, but I just can't fathom why a man couldn't fend off a woman in such situation? Is it more because they won't rather than they can't? As when it comes to physicality the man obviously would almost always out power the female.
Domestic abuse just isn't about spousal/partner abuse. It's about all aspects of family relationships. So, when we see figures of men being victims they will also be victims of fathers. sons. brothers etc.
Surely one of the worst defences anyone has ever tried to run with. I hope the jury treat it with contempt. In fact I bet his counsel are a bit sick having to offer such a load of crap.
That's a pretty sick comment, many men are beaten by their partners.
Not a sick comment at all? I can't see your point. Just look at the number of pictures online of Tracie Andrews and ask yourself how many of the 100 plus men who killed their wives or girlfriends in the last year have got the same treatment. As with Myra Hindley, whose photograph must have been reproduced 100 times for every 1 for Ian Brady, it is the women we remember.
Should be but isn't and never has been. How else could Tracy Andrews have got away with 14 years for murdering that youth? She stabbed the guy over 42 times FGS!
.
It's hard on his family, but 14 years for a single offence IS a very normal sentence. And sentencng does not go by the number of stabbings (though unusual levels of violence can be an aggravating factor in a homicide sentence); I once dealt with a man who stabbed his father 69 times and got probation.
It seems to work like that. We always get loads of domestic violence referrals in early January.
I'm told by social workers it's a peak time for emergency child protection orders, too.
Only last year did I start to celebrate Christmas again, after 17 years of hiding away and not wanting to think about that time and the memories it brought.
I expect why its not as common women on man, is men are normally still the bread winner and go out to work every day and so they will have a "get out" will have a way to stash money away.
My partner and his violent ex had their own business and worked from home, so he didn't have that.
He stashed money away, but had to do it in cash as she accessed all the accounts (their business was accountancy and payroll), but she found it.
They had a good lifestyle, loads of holidays, partying, meals out, nice cars etc, but she controlled all the spending. He had no money of his own.
Almost 40 per cent of domestic violence victims are thought to be male, with an estimated 720,000 men attacked in the last year, compared to 1.2million women.
My partner and his violent ex had their own business and worked from home, so he didn't have that.
He stashed money away, but had to do it in cash as she accessed all the accounts (their business was accountancy and payroll), but she found it.
They had a good lifestyle, loads of holidays, partying, meals out, nice cars etc, but she controlled all the spending. He had no money of his own.
I worked full time after a while but all my money went to pay bills and his went into his pocket for going out with his mates. by then my spirit was fairly broken and I just existed
I had nothing to show for my 12 hour and sometimes more work day. My life changed when I got a new job with higher pay and managed to squirrel money away. I got away but then had to put up with being stalked and my kids being stalked.. The police moved me right away in the end. That's when I had a breakdown once the stress was gone I had nothing to fight for anymore.
Still that's all over now, its left its mark but I survived it.
Comments
Alcohol is a big problem, people can get very aggressive when they drink.
And yes, its seen as 'a joke' not only by blokes, but also women who are very dismissive, casual and often play it down with "it rarely happens" etc always followed by "women suffer far worse".
That's what I meant, sorry didn't make myself clear. These blokes were Police Officers too (long story how I got involved) and although they knew they should/should have pressed charges they feared their colleague's reactions / ridicule.
Mix Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction and you've got the scenario. I sometimes think i could have wrote that damn script!
One thing leads to another, when crazy people drink it's a recipe for disaster and vice versa.
That's why it's so wrong that it's seen as a male on female problem, women are just as bad as men for abusing alcohol which is generally when the troubles occur,
IIRC Domestic Abuse seems to spike at times, like Christmas, due to alcohol
Try reading the thread rupert.
Does it matter? It's not a competition. All forms of DV should be condemned in equal terms no matter what sex the perpertrator is.
I guess manipulation is the key as to why men get caught up in these situations.
Most people dont show their colours for a while ( if they did we would all run) They are lovely people, who start to to distance you from your family and friends, who make you very unsure of yourself.
I expect why its not as common women on man, is men are normally still the bread winner and go out to work every day and so they will have a "get out" will have a way to stash money away.
I know that is simplistic and wont fit all cases. But I know if I had not had three young children when I met my ex, that part of my life would never have happened.
Mr Lakie's ex was violent and he's always been very open about it. Thankfully, it was only when she was pissed and her co-ordination was rubbish, so she never managed to do anything serious, but he has some scars as a result. The worst injury was when she threw a breadboard at him and it cut a small artery in his temple. He didn't think it was serious and didn't want to go to hospital, but his sister insisted.
She was very controlling in other ways, too, tried to isolate him from his friends and family, controlled all the money and so on. It was a very typical abusive relationship.
I knew them both before they were together and throughout the relationship, and although I knew about the violence, I had no idea about most of the rest.
However, I think if female-on-male DV was as high as 40%, we'd see more cases where women have murdered their partners in violent outbursts, so I'm a bit sceptical about that.
Mr Lakie used to just hold his ex at arm's length when she got violent. She was short, so lacked the reach to do anything. She's got short legs too, so couldn't even kick him!
She'd struggle for a few minutes and sort of burn out her rage, then collapse in a drunken stupor.
Domestic abuse just isn't about spousal/partner abuse. It's about all aspects of family relationships. So, when we see figures of men being victims they will also be victims of fathers. sons. brothers etc.
It seems to work like that. We always get loads of domestic violence referrals in early January.
I'm told by social workers it's a peak time for emergency child protection orders, too.
Bah! Why bother to read what people have written before chucking random abuse at them!
Only last year did I start to celebrate Christmas again, after 17 years of hiding away and not wanting to think about that time and the memories it brought.
My partner and his violent ex had their own business and worked from home, so he didn't have that.
He stashed money away, but had to do it in cash as she accessed all the accounts (their business was accountancy and payroll), but she found it.
They had a good lifestyle, loads of holidays, partying, meals out, nice cars etc, but she controlled all the spending. He had no money of his own.
Never knew the figure was so high.
I worked full time after a while but all my money went to pay bills and his went into his pocket for going out with his mates. by then my spirit was fairly broken and I just existed
I had nothing to show for my 12 hour and sometimes more work day. My life changed when I got a new job with higher pay and managed to squirrel money away. I got away but then had to put up with being stalked and my kids being stalked.. The police moved me right away in the end. That's when I had a breakdown once the stress was gone I had nothing to fight for anymore.
Still that's all over now, its left its mark but I survived it.
Oh yeah. Certain comments have proved that.