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Doc Martin (Part 17 Spoilers)

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Old Today, 02:18
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I have to add into this discussion something which hasn't been mentioned. It is so much of an ingrained trait in him that it literally determines almost every facet of Martin's behavior. He was emotionally and physically abused as a child and,as a result, has no self esteem.....none. He believes that he doesn't deserve her deep in his heart and soul. When you are in such a position and mindset, I can attest to personally, you have no foundation from which to "fight" or exert your opinion. It is natural and less painful to be passive or acquiesce. You feel like it's the natural order of things. "Oh, well, this is normal...everything I do turns to crap anyway. It's just the way my life is."

Aunt Ruth planted a seed of realization in his head but his thoughts are so ingrained that it's difficult to change habits established since you were born. It's like when someone says "You're pretty" and all you can think of is "No I'm not", just like when Louisa told Martin he was extraordinary.

So I've always seen that scene in the bedroom as one in which Martin is totally lost. Yes, he wants her to stay, but no, I'm such crap that I couldn't possibly ask her. That's the way it goes for me...... The final scene was after talking to Ruth. I felt that Martin had made a realization and was actually quite angry with himself. His exit wasn't meant to be cold, but more that of an angry (at himself) man who was determined to do something about how he was and how he could save their marriage. Louisa obviously was rejecting him and as such, rejecting advances of hand holding or declarations of affection.....the leaving was the only behavior possible. That's without mentioning he was almost in tears It was a brilliantly choreographed scene with layers of complexity and ambiguity.

I'm not losing faith yet. A lot of the program takes place inside. Plus, they did something totally different in S6 and some of you didn't like it. Perhaps this is a return to the comedic, "light-hearted" Doc Martin program of years past....not as meaty. I personally love when the episodes are emotionally complex.
I especially agree with the bolded sentence. And with the idea that "you don't think you deserve her" is a huge insight for him.

I know that in dramatic terms, it was better for him to stride out of her room, without any conciliatory gesture. She didn't exactly say she was still leaving -- she said she didn't want to go back to the way things were and pretend things were fine. That was an opening for him to repeat some version of the "better husband" speech: e.g. don't give up on me. I want to be a better husband, I want things to be better between us. I'm willing to work very hard on that, if you''ll help me." I mean, he'd already given her the "better husband" speech -- why not repeat it when she's awake enough to remember it? Don't you think in real life a husband in that situation would make that pitch?

Or maybe he also thought a separation to give him time to pull himself together and make some changes might be helpful. But I doubt it.

I agree -- a lot will be going on that we don't see being filmed on the streets of Portwenn. I just hope that we see some real communication between them, that isn't as ambiguous and frustrating as the scenes we've been talking about. Maybe the marriage counselor will do some helpful exposition. God, I hope so.

Whether we like the heavier, darker tone or not, I think it'll be hard to produce romantic sparkle in the situation of a man desperate to get his wife back. That's a little different than courting.
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Old Today, 16:24
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I repeat what I said before: when analyzed, these events just don't parse. Not plausibly. I'm not sure they are meant to. Perhaps we're just supposed to be left in the same state of confused sadness as our protagonists.

I could write a lengthy essay on this but will spare you (and everybody else). Just:
I think she's given up on him. I think she knows he loves her, but can't let be in an intimate relationship. I think she's gone away to think about whether or not she wants to try again, with the odds being that she'll decide that she doesn't. She might hope that somehow he could break through and give her some reason to believe that trying again would be worthwhile, but she doesn't think it's possible. (I think that's the scene in the bathroom, and that the night before the conversation was about how irrational the trip to Spain was, in his view, and not at all about his remorse and love for her.)

I'm pretty sure that if she heard the "better husband" speech at all, it just became one factor in the decision-making that she knows is in front of her. Does she believe him, or trust him? Why should she? So, I think in the end, she's going to go through with a decision to have a trial separation, which very often is the death knell of a marriage, and both know it. Hence, the sadness.

They have to separate, logically, because otherwise Martin won't have to work to "get her back" which MC has said a couple of times, is the theme of S7.
Well, why not give up on him?

Big reveal at end of Season 4 and passionate kiss. Start of Season 5--the infamous line that no one would miss her at school if she died, and a season of distance and lack of intimacy.

Big reveal at end of Season 5--Start of Season 6--(first magnificent, perfect episode, to me). Then a season of distance and lack of intimacy.

Big reveal at end of Season 6. Season 7--?

I dislike the big reveals at the end--we cannot trust them. LG cannot trust them. They by no means change anything between the characters or move their relationship forward.

DM leaving the room at the end of S6 finale reminded me of all the times they tried to have a connection but were interrupted over and over again by various situations and characters. This time, however, DM interrupted the scene on his own.

LG has been working with DM for a long time (and he with her, yes, she does need to change as well), and has been disappointed endlessly. It's kind of reached the Einsteinian sense of insanity at this point--doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Up to this point, DM seems completely resistant to self-analysis and change, from little glimpses we have gotten; he is in a perpetual personality loop.

We can only hope much of the behind the scenes scenes of S7 have a different feel to them, more talking and some physicality. And, that creative people have tempered MC's desire to make DM so unattractive and annoying, and are softening and lightening the edges.
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