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Disappointed over sons wedding plans
jabegy
Posts: 6,201 Forum Member
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With nearly 6 weeks to go before my son and future daughter in laws wedding, I was informed at the weekend by him that everything had been cancelled and they are now going to go over to Las Vegas to get married. I was a bit gobsmacked when I took the phone call (I kept thinking oh! he's ringing to invite us over for a barbie seeing as how he's just got his new one fixed up) and I at first thought that they'd split up :eek:, and that's something I definitely would NOT like to see happen, my heart just went up in my mouth, when he said "the weddings been cancelled" !!!! but then added "we're getting married in Las Vegas now".
I couldn't understand it because everything had been arranged, I'd asked her a few days before if they had anything else to do and she said no it had all been done. I'd got myself a beautiful dress and hat (fascinator !) and I've lost nearly 2 stone in weight to prepare for this wedding. It would have been the only chance I'll get to see one of my sons marry, unless my youngest son finds himself a nice bloke that is, so to say I was a little bit disappointed is a bit of an understatement. I was quite depressed all day Sunday and up till Monday when he popped round for lunch.
He said it had all got a bit much for them and they spoke about it then decided that was what they wanted to do. I couldn't rant and rave about it, I've never been that sort of mum, but I did tell him I was disappointed but said "well, as long it's what you've both decided and whatever makes you happy". so they'll fly over to Vegas on the 5th, get married on the 6th and be back on the 9th. Me and the other nanny will be looking after baby Max. He said they would still be having a 'do' on the 16th at the same venue but it won't be a sit down wedding breakfast, it'll be a buffet with drinks in the evening.
So now instead of me being there and seeing them say the words, I expect I'll get a text
I couldn't understand it because everything had been arranged, I'd asked her a few days before if they had anything else to do and she said no it had all been done. I'd got myself a beautiful dress and hat (fascinator !) and I've lost nearly 2 stone in weight to prepare for this wedding. It would have been the only chance I'll get to see one of my sons marry, unless my youngest son finds himself a nice bloke that is, so to say I was a little bit disappointed is a bit of an understatement. I was quite depressed all day Sunday and up till Monday when he popped round for lunch.
He said it had all got a bit much for them and they spoke about it then decided that was what they wanted to do. I couldn't rant and rave about it, I've never been that sort of mum, but I did tell him I was disappointed but said "well, as long it's what you've both decided and whatever makes you happy". so they'll fly over to Vegas on the 5th, get married on the 6th and be back on the 9th. Me and the other nanny will be looking after baby Max. He said they would still be having a 'do' on the 16th at the same venue but it won't be a sit down wedding breakfast, it'll be a buffet with drinks in the evening.
So now instead of me being there and seeing them say the words, I expect I'll get a text
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My mum would have been very sad too.
It's hard being a parent sometimes but you sound like a great one, the disappointment will pass in time.
Let them do what they want. Don't be sad.:D
But look on the bright side .. at least you've lost someweight and got a new dress out of it
The funny part is, they were in Las Vegas early last year when she was getting over a miscarriage and they didn't know it at the time but she was already pregnant with Max. I said at the time it wouldn't have surprised me if they'd have come back married, I had a funny feeling they might, but no.
Would that have disappointed you as much or is it just the fact that it was all building up to the big day and you had something to look forward to? I can see how that would come as a shock - I would be disappointed too if I was in your shoes but then like others have said, it is their decision to make. Is it just the 2 of them or is anyone else going out there with them? They can always have a blessing or whatever they're called over here?
Better than a text I say.
They got £800 deposit back from the venue, which, as he explained was a relief, because if they hadn't, they wouldn't have been able to go. They're staying in The Venetian Hotel, it looks dead posh !
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more and as disappointed as I was, I could never stay mad at him, he's the sort of bloke who could charm the birds out of the trees and he makes me laugh. I'm just putty in his hands.
No funny enough, I wouldn't have been disappointed at all in fact I fully expected it, he'd already gone down on one knee on Valentines Day (his birthday) and she'd burst into tears. He said they did talk about it but then decided it would be better to get married in this country with friends and family round them. But he said, as it got nearer, she got more and more stressed and probably him too (although he'd never admit it !) then they both decided it wasn't what they wanted at all, they wanted it to be just about the two of them.
^^This. Wedding planning can be overwhelming and incredibly stressful for the couple, especially if relatives get involved and try to take over (not saying that's what happened here), the day becomes less like something to look forward to and more like a nightmare.
It's their day, so if they just want to take off the Vegas for a simple ceremony then good for them. I can how it could be disappointing for family members who expected a 'traditional' wedding, but ultimately it should be about the couple and what they feel comfortable with.
If ever i get married the last thing i would want is a big 'do', half hour down the registry office would be heaven.
Was Elvis at the ceremony?
Despite being sad, you've still put them first. Which is something my mother, and I would bet a few others out there would of hit the roof at first hearing, lol.
But I do understand why someone would just think ''sod it'' and book Vegas, trying to please everyone when planning YOUR wedding is bloody stessful. My mum tries not to interfere but the subtle little comments are starting to grate now....''Ooh your not inviting your uncle Jo'' ect ect.
I know it's dissapointing but you just have to suck it up, smile and be happy for them.
Ha! No, we thought about him, and a drive-thru wedding, but opted for a nice French-Canadian named Jean Claude. Given the countless number of ceremonies he performs every day, was surprisingly tender.
Saying that, I cant seem to convince my outlaws, they wont let us have the wedding of my dreams because they think its ridiculous and now have convinced my OH too
Thanks, that's nice of you to say
To be honest, some of my friends have said things like "I'd kill him !!" but that's just not me, I've never interfered and I never would. I remember telling her once I'll be the perfect mother in law because I won't interfere and I'll always ring first to see if it's convenient before I pop round, but if they ever need me for babysitting duties I'm there like a guided missile.
No, I'll get over it, I know and as each day passes I feel better, and like somebody said, at least I've lost loads of weight which I shall continue to do.
I shall wear my beautiful dress to the party but alas no hat !
Unfortunately I was in hospital, and didn't get to see it until the end of February, but it was lovely, maybe the venue that your son is marrying at, will allow the same thing. My friend's parents couldn't go to Las Vegas so they watched it online too.
Someone I know missed her son's Vegas wedding online because she forgot to take into account the time difference.
The important thing is that they love each other and have a happy marriage, the actual day itself isn't important in the great scheme of things. Although I understand your disappointment at being denied your chance as mother of the bride/groom if your other kid is gay - but it could still happen - gay weddings are legal now!