Miss the church part,the speeches part and just do the disco - That's my idea of great
I love the ceremony and the speeches. It isn't a wedding invite if you are not invited to the ceremony.
Sometimes by the time the evening party happens the bride has changed out of her wedding dress.
I have been invited to a wedding in September "a day invitation" Infact we will be staying in a posh hotel over night. I am just looking on line for a nice dress to wear that's suitable to be worn all day or shall I get 2 dresses? Its so easy for men they can just wear a boring suit.
I always get out of weddings, except for my best friend's which was great as there were only four of us there! But had to go to my niece's last year as it would have caused a world of trouble, not to.
It was pretty horrifying. Weddings now seem to go on all day - just exhausting and nightmarish. We were the first to leave - and that was after 13 hours!
It's odd how it has turned from a half hour (if that) ceremony and a couple of hours booze up - which is fine - to a nightmare, day long experience. What is it with people?
The closest family and bridesmaids, etc were treated to a stay in the hotel where the reception was so they had rooms upstairs and during the reception, people kept going up for a few hours' kip, then returning refreshed whilst us lowly guests had to just sit through it. They were married in the morning but the 'first dance' (which also appears to have been fetishised into a huge ritual now) wasn't til about 7pm. And it was thought rude to leave before that. We managed to hang on a bit longer and luckily apart from one utter dick at our table, were sat with people we knew who also thought a day long wedding was a bit much. We spent the afternoon reminiscing about our own weddings which were not grim formal affairs but just fun, for people we liked.
Sad what weddings have turned into in the past decade or two. They have gone from fun, informal affairs to these horrible ordeals.
I agree with the posters saying OP has had a lucky escape.
An old friend of ours who moved to live abroad is coming back home to get married shortly and I feel a bit sneaped because he came to our wedding and we paid for him and his fiancée which we didn't really know to spend all day at our wedding, the wedding breakfast and reception. However we've just had our invite through only to find we've only been given an invite for the evening reception and I don't know how to react to this after we've been so close and they came to our wedding and we paid for them both to have a 5 course meal and all we get is an invite to an evening buffet. We don't even get to see him get married.
How would you feel and would you bother going to the evening do or say sod him and forget the whole thing? I've found out that my friend who was my best man at my wedding has in fact been invited to the day do so I feel totally pushed out. I wouldn't have minded if it was a private family affair but it clearly isn't. After talking to my best mate he says there's other friends who have only just had an evening invite too and apparently it's not gone down too well.
We paid for.... we paid for.....well, that was your choice and you don't invite anyone on the basis of "they better do the same for us when the time comes.". You just don't.
Up to you really whether you go to the evening reception or not. Do you feel like holding a grudge against the couple involved? Then decline the invite. If you feel like it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, friends are friends, you will still be part of their day and get to celebrate with them, then go and enjoy it.
Whatever you do tho, don't just turn up to the evening do just to moan about not being invited to the day do. I can see the OP considering that for some reason! :rolleyes:
I notice he still hasn't answered my question, which I have asked twice now. It speaks volumes to me.
I haven't seen him for 12 months but we've been in touch by texting but nobody else has seen him either including the friend who's got the invite as he lives and works in Dubai.
Wizard, serious question, honestly.
I know what you are asking, but I'm genuinely intrigued with the word "sneaped."
I KNOW that you mean you feel snubbed, or mildly put out about the non invite,
but is "sneaped" a typo, or is it a colloquialism where you live?
I repeat, I am NOT taking the p**s, just curious.
It must be a local term describing the feeling you get when someone you thought you could trust stabs you in the back or snubs you or does something which you feel out of character and you feel taken by surprise or disheartened by their two faced actions.
For example if you suddenly found out that someone you thought was a best friend has been slagging you off on Facebook you could feel 'sneaped'. It's used more to describe the feeling you have rather than the physical actions but we would also say, 'he's just sneaped me.' It's not quite as bad as being stabbed the back but more of a 'hey now where the hell did that come from, I feel let down, slightly betrayed and hurt.'
I've tried googling but it just says a police reprimand which doesn't make sense in context. I thought it might be a dialect word that hasn't made it to google.
to sneap means to offend - would've been easier if OP had just said that! :D
to sneap means to offend - would've been easier if OP had just said that! :D
Well it is but it's more specific than just plain offended. It's feeling hurt by someone who you consider a friend or someone who's perfectly nice to your face then goes and does something which you consider out of character. It's the feeling of being knocked back by actions which you consider to be two faced. Not necessarily behind your back. It can be to your face. The point is you feel taken by surprise and hurt or let down all at the same time.
For example if you had a work colleague who was always nice to you then you found out that he'd grassed you up to the boss you could use the word 'sneaped'.
If you're out with your mates and one of them is buying a round of drinks and he deliberately leaves you out you could feel 'sneaped'.
Well it is but it's more specific than just plain offended. It's feeling hurt by someone who you consider a friend or someone who's perfectly nice to your face then goes and does something which you consider out of character. It's the feeling of being knocked back by actions which you consider to be two faced. Not necessarily behind your back. It can be to your face. The point is you feel taken by surprise and hurt or let down all at the same time.
For example if you had a work colleague who was always nice to you then you found out that he'd grassed you up to the boss you could use the word 'sneaped'.
If you're out with your mates and one of them is buying a round of drinks and he deliberately leaves you out you could feel 'sneaped'.
I don't understand why you feel you've been 'stabbed in the back'???
Do you know how often the groom and other friends have been in touch? They might talk on the phone all the time, or Skype, or email - I don't know how you would know.
Maybe the bride has an opinion too - it's not uncommon for women to dislike, or not really care for, their partner's friends.l
This situation is obviously a big deal for you. it's a shame you're taking it so badly. Seems to me that whether you go to the evening do or not, your friendship will never be the same.
I always get out of weddings, except for my best friend's which was great as there were only four of us there! But had to go to my niece's last year as it would have caused a world of trouble, not to.
It was pretty horrifying. Weddings now seem to go on all day - just exhausting and nightmarish. We were the first to leave - and that was after 13 hours!
It's odd how it has turned from a half hour (if that) ceremony and a couple of hours booze up - which is fine - to a nightmare, day long experience. What is it with people?
The closest family and bridesmaids, etc were treated to a stay in the hotel where the reception was so they had rooms upstairs and during the reception, people kept going up for a few hours' kip, then returning refreshed whilst us lowly guests had to just sit through it. They were married in the morning but the 'first dance' (which also appears to have been fetishised into a huge ritual now) wasn't til about 7pm. And it was thought rude to leave before that. We managed to hang on a bit longer and luckily apart from one utter dick at our table, were sat with people we knew who also thought a day long wedding was a bit much. We spent the afternoon reminiscing about our own weddings which were not grim formal affairs but just fun, for people we liked.
Sad what weddings have turned into in the past decade or two. They have gone from fun, informal affairs to these horrible ordeals.
I agree with the posters saying OP has had a lucky escape.
Exactly! My oh doesnt like weddings but agreed to be best man at his mates wedding believing all he had to do was half a speech (there were two best men so they agreed to do a short speech each). He was surprised to be dragged into some of the planning, several trips to the suit hire place, paying for him and half the cost of the groom to have two stag nights, the rehearsal, decorating his car and driving the groom there, several hours of photos etc! As best man he had to be there the afternoon before the wedding, staying at the posh golf club where they were told they were not allowed to go on the green or into the pub as it was members only!
He thought he would turn up for the half hour service then maybe the wedding breakfast would be an hour or two then he could go home, but no it was a two day torture for him
I haven't seen him for 12 months but we've been in touch by texting but nobody else has seen him either including the friend who's got the invite as he lives and works in Dubai.
So the one person he has invited to the whole thing is making a trip from a fair old distance to be there in which case the groom probably thinks it would seem extremely mean to only have him at the evening do. If they can only afford a limited number then after family, friends coming from great distances would likely be higher on the list than those living more locally to the venue.
I can't let my hair down as the evening reception is about 25 miles away so ill have to drive and the venue doesn't have on site accommodation. I was more interested in seeing him get married and hear him make his speeches than attending the evening do. Besides we'd need a baby sitter too as it doesn't start until 7.30. The bit I really wanted to attend we haven't been asked and I think it's rude as both he and his missus came to ours and saw us get hitched. Wish I'd not bothered now and invited someone else instead. It's clear he thinks less about us than he does of others.
Fair enough if it's limited to family only or close family friends but when his best mate doesn't even get invited and you find out that he's invited a lad who he hardly has anything to do with then it really rubs salt in the wounds.
Personally I don't think you should go. I have a feeling that if you do you you will be two faced to them.
You only want equal or more payback for what you gave or 'shared' with them.
To be honest your so called 'friend' is better off without you unless you grow up.
It must be a local term describing the feeling you get when someone you thought you could trust stabs you in the back or snubs you or does something which you feel out of character and you feel taken by surprise or disheartened by their two faced actions.
For example if you suddenly found out that someone you thought was a best friend has been slagging you off on Facebook you could feel 'sneaped'. It's used more to describe the feeling you have rather than the physical actions but we would also say, 'he's just sneaped me.' It's not quite as bad as being stabbed the back but more of a 'hey now where the hell did that come from, I feel let down, slightly betrayed and hurt.'
But if you do this on Digital Spy Forums then it is perfectly ok. Yeah ok.
WUM
:sleep:
I think its the groom who lives in Dubai, not the invited friend. I reckon I was spot on in my earlier post.
Ah you could well be right.
Either way I suspect the groom doesn't see the OP as his closest friend and does the invited one. As the OP doesn't really know how much contact his mate has with anyone else he can't really say one way or the other who the groom sees as his 'best' mate.
Having read the whole thread it occurred to me, maybe you are a cling-on type friend. Meet someone once, get on with them and ever more consider them friends for life.
Not necessarily a bad thing but maybe the 'friend' is question was a victim of this and had no idea why he was invited to your wedding with the honors you gave him. He was happy to go along but felt no reason to return them as he never thought of you as much of a friend as you thought him, but he might have felt that to 'return the favor' he'd invite you to the evening do.
Seems that that is not good enough for you but at least his conscience is clear.
The other thing it might be OP, you are jealous of the bride to be and you want to take her place for the ceremony and the bridal suite.
It's not too late to go to a cross dressers shop and get a wedding dress.
Comments
Sometimes by the time the evening party happens the bride has changed out of her wedding dress.
Life really is too short - it really is!
It was pretty horrifying. Weddings now seem to go on all day - just exhausting and nightmarish. We were the first to leave - and that was after 13 hours!
It's odd how it has turned from a half hour (if that) ceremony and a couple of hours booze up - which is fine - to a nightmare, day long experience. What is it with people?
The closest family and bridesmaids, etc were treated to a stay in the hotel where the reception was so they had rooms upstairs and during the reception, people kept going up for a few hours' kip, then returning refreshed whilst us lowly guests had to just sit through it. They were married in the morning but the 'first dance' (which also appears to have been fetishised into a huge ritual now) wasn't til about 7pm. And it was thought rude to leave before that. We managed to hang on a bit longer and luckily apart from one utter dick at our table, were sat with people we knew who also thought a day long wedding was a bit much. We spent the afternoon reminiscing about our own weddings which were not grim formal affairs but just fun, for people we liked.
Sad what weddings have turned into in the past decade or two. They have gone from fun, informal affairs to these horrible ordeals.
I agree with the posters saying OP has had a lucky escape.
We paid for.... we paid for.....well, that was your choice and you don't invite anyone on the basis of "they better do the same for us when the time comes.". You just don't.
Up to you really whether you go to the evening reception or not. Do you feel like holding a grudge against the couple involved? Then decline the invite. If you feel like it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, friends are friends, you will still be part of their day and get to celebrate with them, then go and enjoy it.
That's gonna be my new cool word.
What on earth does sneaped mean?
I have never heard of it before!
I haven't seen him for 12 months but we've been in touch by texting but nobody else has seen him either including the friend who's got the invite as he lives and works in Dubai.
It must be a local term describing the feeling you get when someone you thought you could trust stabs you in the back or snubs you or does something which you feel out of character and you feel taken by surprise or disheartened by their two faced actions.
For example if you suddenly found out that someone you thought was a best friend has been slagging you off on Facebook you could feel 'sneaped'. It's used more to describe the feeling you have rather than the physical actions but we would also say, 'he's just sneaped me.' It's not quite as bad as being stabbed the back but more of a 'hey now where the hell did that come from, I feel let down, slightly betrayed and hurt.'
to sneap means to offend - would've been easier if OP had just said that!
Well it is but it's more specific than just plain offended. It's feeling hurt by someone who you consider a friend or someone who's perfectly nice to your face then goes and does something which you consider out of character. It's the feeling of being knocked back by actions which you consider to be two faced. Not necessarily behind your back. It can be to your face. The point is you feel taken by surprise and hurt or let down all at the same time.
For example if you had a work colleague who was always nice to you then you found out that he'd grassed you up to the boss you could use the word 'sneaped'.
If you're out with your mates and one of them is buying a round of drinks and he deliberately leaves you out you could feel 'sneaped'.
I don't understand why you feel you've been 'stabbed in the back'???
Do you know how often the groom and other friends have been in touch? They might talk on the phone all the time, or Skype, or email - I don't know how you would know.
Maybe the bride has an opinion too - it's not uncommon for women to dislike, or not really care for, their partner's friends.l
This situation is obviously a big deal for you. it's a shame you're taking it so badly. Seems to me that whether you go to the evening do or not, your friendship will never be the same.
Exactly! My oh doesnt like weddings but agreed to be best man at his mates wedding believing all he had to do was half a speech (there were two best men so they agreed to do a short speech each). He was surprised to be dragged into some of the planning, several trips to the suit hire place, paying for him and half the cost of the groom to have two stag nights, the rehearsal, decorating his car and driving the groom there, several hours of photos etc! As best man he had to be there the afternoon before the wedding, staying at the posh golf club where they were told they were not allowed to go on the green or into the pub as it was members only!
He thought he would turn up for the half hour service then maybe the wedding breakfast would be an hour or two then he could go home, but no it was a two day torture for him
It's just a word that he had "up his sleeve"...
So the one person he has invited to the whole thing is making a trip from a fair old distance to be there in which case the groom probably thinks it would seem extremely mean to only have him at the evening do. If they can only afford a limited number then after family, friends coming from great distances would likely be higher on the list than those living more locally to the venue.
Personally I don't think you should go. I have a feeling that if you do you you will be two faced to them.
You only want equal or more payback for what you gave or 'shared' with them.
To be honest your so called 'friend' is better off without you unless you grow up.
WUM
:sleep:
Either way I suspect the groom doesn't see the OP as his closest friend and does the invited one. As the OP doesn't really know how much contact his mate has with anyone else he can't really say one way or the other who the groom sees as his 'best' mate.
Not necessarily a bad thing but maybe the 'friend' is question was a victim of this and had no idea why he was invited to your wedding with the honors you gave him. He was happy to go along but felt no reason to return them as he never thought of you as much of a friend as you thought him, but he might have felt that to 'return the favor' he'd invite you to the evening do.
Seems that that is not good enough for you but at least his conscience is clear.
The other thing it might be OP, you are jealous of the bride to be and you want to take her place for the ceremony and the bridal suite.
It's not too late to go to a cross dressers shop and get a wedding dress.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y116/stewieimages/11-20-05-014.jpg