Is the wedding still scheduled for sometime in September - ie within the next four weeks? And they're still scraping together a guest list of, oh, three in total so far (sorry, six with the collies)? I bet whoever's catering it is loving this.
The Easby Abbey-Richmond walk is a favourite for my dog and me, so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for this wedding.
In this week's diary she says she doesn't know David's dad's name. How can that be when she's met them and I presume she was introduced? Did she call him Mr Scrace all the time?!?!
Given the Dreary has a lead time of three to four weeks, she's cutting it fine for the dramatic reconciliation. Puts me in mind of the Saturday morning serials where the hero is about to be bisected by the circular saw, yet at the opening or the next episode said saw is a good two feet further away.
I'll believe in the dumping when I see the actual evidence that they have, in fact, split and are not getting married. There's a lot of crying wolf in this column.
However, because I have no life I looked back through her stuff and assuming her non-Dreary articles are relatively live, it was around the time she was in India that the Dreary complaining about David's dirty dishes and him fawning over Katie Hopkins was published. That's the only one I could imagine him getting upset about.
From there we get an article about how all men are pigs, followed by one a week later in which all women care only for men if they have financial reasons to do so. What can we infer from this series of scribblings?
From there we get an article about how all men are pigs, followed by one a week later in which all women care only for men if they have financial reasons to do so. What can we infer from this series of scribblings?
"The district nurse and social workers caring for my end-stage mum were nothing short of heroic. My mum's carers, provided by a private company but paid for by her local council, were the kindest, most patient women I have ever met.
The day my mum died, her carer was bereft, but was told to travel to her next job by public transport. Which is why I ferried her to her next assignment. It was the least I could do. The carer was so exhausted, so upset, so laden with suitcases, she fell over in the road."
This would, presumably, be one of the carers she was so scared of that she didn't visit her bed-ridden mother, according to another very recent farticle. I think we can safely conclude that she neither reads nor recalls anything she's written previously.
"The district nurse and social workers caring for my end-stage mum were nothing short of heroic. My mum's carers, provided by a private company but paid for by her local council, were the kindest, most patient women I have ever met.
The day my mum died, her carer was bereft, but was told to travel to her next job by public transport. Which is why I ferried her to her next assignment. It was the least I could do. The carer was so exhausted, so upset, so laden with suitcases, she fell over in the road."
This would, presumably, be one of the carers she was so scared of that she didn't visit her bed-ridden mother, according to another very recent farticle. I think we can safely conclude that she neither reads nor recalls anything she's written previously.
Not only that, how about the revelation that she was prescribed steroids and that made her breasts grow? That's a new one on me. Quite apart from the nasty racist swipe about refugees at the bottom of the piece. >:(
In which our heroine bravely struggles back from Heathrow to Brixton and silently retrieves her car from outside David's home, saying she can't park it there again as it's too expensive. Not that she won't need to if they have broken up! A week later she is justifying her upsetting him by writing about his drug use, when she had promised not to. Not only does she write about it again, but she does so in more detail - I can only assume the MoS pays them both well for this rubbish, so the wedding will go ahead!
She must have some sort of mental block as to previous articles she has written as she contradicts herself constantly (sometimes within the same article).
NHS is great, NHS is awful. Sue Perkins is great, Sue Perkins is awful. Women can't go bare-faced, women shouldn't dress to impress. Men are pigs. Women are pigs - it just goes on....
Its increasingly frustrating to read her stuff and it overshadows when she does actually write something readable (I know, I know, not that often).
However, it has to be planned, it has to be conscious. Hasn't it?
If he doesn't dump her now he never will. Reading this week it appears as if DScrace was left in charge of a child and got stoned in a shed. But neither he nor she have any young children so why does she keep wittering on about "what if an accident happened and you had to drive a child to hospital". Is she saying he was smoking drugs with people in charge of children- I'm confused yet again.
Its a very powerful tool she uses with family and friends- only do as I approve of or I'll write about it and make you look bad. No wonder the nephews blanked her before the funeral. It just would have been more grist for the Mail mill if she'd been there.
Jesus wept ... just read the latest 'Dreary' (I'm an insomniac) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-3235552/LIZ-JONES-S-DIARY-feel-trapped.html
What the whatsit is she ON about? All the drivel about this 'n that and t'other .... I really think the Wail on Sunday owes a 'duty of care' to this demented woman and should put her out of our misery and suggest a nice stay in The Priory.
Does anyone take her bonkers wittering seriously? Surely not.
Mr Baker has dumped me again, or perhaps not. I can no longer remember. So I just go and park outside his hovel and text him to say that he is bad at communicating.
He tells me (by text, natch) that he is going on a Not Drugs Weekend with his pals. I ask timidly if he plans to shag anyone while away. He says I'm the only woman he has ever thought about, even when shagging his wife, even when shagging all those women back in 1963 when we were neighbours. I am comforted by this but text him to say he should tidy up because I'm sitting outside in the car.
Jane Austen had exactly the same problems as me, even down to the rescue animals that pissed everywhere. When she wrote about her awful neighbours they threw eggs at her carriage and told her that an unmarried woman was an abomination. Oh we writers have it terribly bad. My unpopularity is down to my talent and being famous, not because I'm rancid and mean to anyone who crosses me. Jane would understand.
Quote: ''At a meeting with my new, brilliant accountant, I was told, ‘The tax people have no sympathy for anyone in the public eye.’ I wonder what they think the advantages are, exactly? Having your home shot at? Eggs smashed on your car? People knowing your private business? Tradesmen charging you more because they think you must have money? Having to sell your home at a huge loss due to stalkers? Being banned from your own sister’s funeral? A policeman telling you to your face, ‘I bet people feel sorry for you; rich woman with no friends’? A death threat posted to your new home, so you know that person knows where you live?'' Unquote.
So.....after a whole raft of complaints and whinging she seems to think she should be exempt from paying tax because she's a writer in the public eye. She's feeling sorry for herself because neighbours egg her home/car, the naughty man next door prevents her from selling her house, and best of all, people 'knowing her private business' is the cause of her problems. I've got an idea. STOP BLOODY WRITING ABOUT IT!
Amazing how the tax problems have miraculously sorted themselves, so this is why she can afford visits to Lime Wood etc. Cue more buying VB dresses and Prada biker boots.....
Is this woman so thick that, when she is downgraded from secure staff to a freelance writer, she doesn't immediately go and see her bank advisor or someone and get advice on how to manage her affairs - what's she going to do to fill her spare time, does she need an accountant, what about an assistant, ask other people doing the same thing how they manage, ask the tax office - they give free advice!! As she seems to work mainly for the MOS, it doesn't seem too hard or complicated!
Did she not consider the possible implications of the cack handed way she dealt with her neighbour or anything else!
Jesus didn't just weep - he lying on the floor drumming his heels, like Violet Elizabeth Bott!
If she was actually given the boot, then it seems remiss of the Mail not to ensure she had some kind of exit counselling which would have included financial advice. But then they probably didn't think a single woman who'd spend the past 30 years rolling in cashmere and facelifts wouldn't understand how the self-employed get along.
I'd have more respect for her if she took ownership of her actions. SHE chose to write about her neighbour, and now as a result she finds it's hard to sell her house because she's plastered its failings all over the internet (lack of a kitchen as well). Well, that's to be expected, isn't it.
The article about anorexia with her "well-meaning" failed attempts to get someone a job by telling potential bosses that she's been out of commission with an eating disorder display a really high level of belief that she actually has positive influence. I wouldn't even go into that level of detail if I was trying to get a similar position for someone with one of my friends, let alone some random in the fashion industry.
Mr Baker has dumped me again, or perhaps not. I can no longer remember. So I just go and park outside his hovel and text him to say that he is bad at communicating.
He tells me (by text, natch) that he is going on a Not Drugs Weekend with his pals. I ask timidly if he plans to shag anyone while away. He says I'm the only woman he has ever thought about, even when shagging his wife, even when shagging all those women back in 1963 when we were neighbours. I am comforted by this but text him to say he should tidy up because I'm sitting outside in the car.
Jane Austen had exactly the same problems as me, even down to the rescue animals that pissed everywhere. When she wrote about her awful neighbours they threw eggs at her carriage and told her that an unmarried woman was an abomination. Oh we writers have it terribly bad. My unpopularity is down to my talent and being famous, not because I'm rancid and mean to anyone who crosses me. Jane would understand.
Haha!
God that reminds me. The remark about the "Filipina floozy". Seriously, Liz, even if you make tacky racist jokes to David and he's cool about it - perhaps there is some unshared backstory about his interest in Filipina women, whatever - there is no excuse whatsoever for including it in your column.
If she was actually given the boot, then it seems remiss of the Mail not to ensure she had some kind of exit counselling which would have included financial advice. But then they probably didn't think a single woman who'd spend the past 30 years rolling in cashmere and facelifts wouldn't understand how the self-employed get along.
Not to mention the amount of effort she puts in to telling us how super-intelligent and self-sufficient she is.
God that reminds me. The remark about the "Filipina floozy". Seriously, Liz, even if you make tacky racist jokes to David and he's cool about it - perhaps there is some unshared backstory about his interest in Filipina women, whatever - there is no excuse whatsoever for including it in your column.
I didn't get the Filipina reference, just presumed she was pissed again. It wasn't even as coherent as her normal word salad, it's degenerating into word soup.
Comments
Which of the two pairs might that be ?
Well, if they are her best pair I dread to think what state the other pair is in.
The Easby Abbey-Richmond walk is a favourite for my dog and me, so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for this wedding.
Pity Sue has a girlfriend isn't it? Liz has the church booked yet the role of spouse is now vacant ...
However, because I have no life I looked back through her stuff and assuming her non-Dreary articles are relatively live, it was around the time she was in India that the Dreary complaining about David's dirty dishes and him fawning over Katie Hopkins was published. That's the only one I could imagine him getting upset about.
From there we get an article about how all men are pigs, followed by one a week later in which all women care only for men if they have financial reasons to do so. What can we infer from this series of scribblings?
That she couldn't even lie straight in bed?
"The district nurse and social workers caring for my end-stage mum were nothing short of heroic. My mum's carers, provided by a private company but paid for by her local council, were the kindest, most patient women I have ever met.
The day my mum died, her carer was bereft, but was told to travel to her next job by public transport. Which is why I ferried her to her next assignment. It was the least I could do. The carer was so exhausted, so upset, so laden with suitcases, she fell over in the road."
This would, presumably, be one of the carers she was so scared of that she didn't visit her bed-ridden mother, according to another very recent farticle. I think we can safely conclude that she neither reads nor recalls anything she's written previously.
Not only that, how about the revelation that she was prescribed steroids and that made her breasts grow? That's a new one on me. Quite apart from the nasty racist swipe about refugees at the bottom of the piece. >:(
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-3232400/LIZ-JONES-Forced-NHS-27-years-shock-had.html
Would explain a lot...
NHS is great, NHS is awful. Sue Perkins is great, Sue Perkins is awful. Women can't go bare-faced, women shouldn't dress to impress. Men are pigs. Women are pigs - it just goes on....
Its increasingly frustrating to read her stuff and it overshadows when she does actually write something readable (I know, I know, not that often).
However, it has to be planned, it has to be conscious. Hasn't it?
Its a very powerful tool she uses with family and friends- only do as I approve of or I'll write about it and make you look bad. No wonder the nephews blanked her before the funeral. It just would have been more grist for the Mail mill if she'd been there.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-3235552/LIZ-JONES-S-DIARY-feel-trapped.html
What the whatsit is she ON about? All the drivel about this 'n that and t'other .... I really think the Wail on Sunday owes a 'duty of care' to this demented woman and should put her out of our misery and suggest a nice stay in The Priory.
Does anyone take her bonkers wittering seriously? Surely not.
He tells me (by text, natch) that he is going on a Not Drugs Weekend with his pals. I ask timidly if he plans to shag anyone while away. He says I'm the only woman he has ever thought about, even when shagging his wife, even when shagging all those women back in 1963 when we were neighbours. I am comforted by this but text him to say he should tidy up because I'm sitting outside in the car.
Jane Austen had exactly the same problems as me, even down to the rescue animals that pissed everywhere. When she wrote about her awful neighbours they threw eggs at her carriage and told her that an unmarried woman was an abomination. Oh we writers have it terribly bad. My unpopularity is down to my talent and being famous, not because I'm rancid and mean to anyone who crosses me. Jane would understand.
So.....after a whole raft of complaints and whinging she seems to think she should be exempt from paying tax because she's a writer in the public eye. She's feeling sorry for herself because neighbours egg her home/car, the naughty man next door prevents her from selling her house, and best of all, people 'knowing her private business' is the cause of her problems. I've got an idea. STOP BLOODY WRITING ABOUT IT!
Amazing how the tax problems have miraculously sorted themselves, so this is why she can afford visits to Lime Wood etc. Cue more buying VB dresses and Prada biker boots.....
Did she not consider the possible implications of the cack handed way she dealt with her neighbour or anything else!
Jesus didn't just weep - he lying on the floor drumming his heels, like Violet Elizabeth Bott!
I'd have more respect for her if she took ownership of her actions. SHE chose to write about her neighbour, and now as a result she finds it's hard to sell her house because she's plastered its failings all over the internet (lack of a kitchen as well). Well, that's to be expected, isn't it.
The article about anorexia with her "well-meaning" failed attempts to get someone a job by telling potential bosses that she's been out of commission with an eating disorder display a really high level of belief that she actually has positive influence. I wouldn't even go into that level of detail if I was trying to get a similar position for someone with one of my friends, let alone some random in the fashion industry.
The crap with David is just turgid nonsense.
Haha!
God that reminds me. The remark about the "Filipina floozy". Seriously, Liz, even if you make tacky racist jokes to David and he's cool about it - perhaps there is some unshared backstory about his interest in Filipina women, whatever - there is no excuse whatsoever for including it in your column.
Not to mention the amount of effort she puts in to telling us how super-intelligent and self-sufficient she is.
I didn't get the Filipina reference, just presumed she was pissed again. It wasn't even as coherent as her normal word salad, it's degenerating into word soup.