If it stopped at "stood up on a date and receiving a note" we wouldn't be discussing it would we? If you want to play humiliation top trumps, his is now on a national, if not worldwide, level. So she's worse in the end by that logic.
We don't know his name, or really anything about him? I mean he might not even exist?
All we apparently have is a handwritten note by the 'victim' to her childhood bully.
I think it has actually backfired on her, simply because she comes across as strange to do this in the first place and that the guy's humility in taking it on the chin, apologising and wishing her well for the future gives him the kudos he wouldn't have got by giving her the satisfaction of a hostile reaction.
I don't see anything strange about it. I think (if true) it was a great thing to do. If I was her I would be delighted with myself for doing it and also delighted by his response, which was much more satisfying than a hostile reaction.
She was bullied for three years. Three years of life she should have been enjoying but wasn't. It caused her to develop an eating disorder. Then one of the bullies has the gall years later to ask her on a date... And you think she shouldn't be holding a grudge?
It's a shame she left such a self-pitying note. The "bully" may well have chalked it up as another win. As a result it WASN'T the kick in the teeth she wanted.
Was it hell a strange thing to do. It was catharsis and good on her. One reason bullying persists across generations is because some people (usually the perpetrators) dismiss it as 'banter' and justify it to their adult selves as 'character building' or something their victim 'should have gotten over'. Having said that, I think the guy's response was fantastic so good on him, too. Top bloke for owning it and being so mature.
It's a shame she left such a self-pitying note. The "bully" may well have chalked it up as another win. As a result it WASN'T the kick in the teeth she wanted.
It seems to me the bully was magnaminus and self aware and has grown as a person since his school days, whilst the girl herself appears to be stuck in a rut from eight years ago. I get the feeling that he will end up living the much happier life.
Was it hell a strange thing to do. It was catharsis and good on her. One reason bullying persists across generations is because some people (usually the perpetrators) dismiss it as 'banter' and justify it to their adult selves as 'character building' or something their victim 'should have gotten over'. Having said that, I think the guy's response was fantastic so good on him, too. Top bloke for owning it and being so mature.
Indeed great action - great response, Both winners. It's feel good stuff
If they got together and tried again, they might find that the frisson leads to sex that is out of this world for both of them. She ought to give it a go.
It seems to me the bully was magnaminus and self aware and has grown as a person since his school days, whilst the girl herself appears to be stuck in a rut from eight years ago. I get the feeling that he will end up living the much happier life.
I think when someone has been bullied it can be hard to move on from because the memory of the humiliation can remain as fresh as the day it happened precisely because there was no opportunity to find closure at the time. It's probably no surprise that the victim of bullying is more affected by it, and for longer, than those who did the bullying.
That said, it's easy to forget that many childhood 'bullies' have no real idea of just how much of a negative impact their behaviour had. They weren't usually terrible people, just teens with not enough empathy, who externalised their own feelings of adolescent inadequacy by being mean to some of their peers. That doesn't excuse it obviously but most 'bullies' grow up into reasonable and decent people once the difficult years of teen angst have passed. This chap seems to have done exactly that from his response.
I hope that this young woman can move on now, not only because it was no doubt a cathartic thing to be able to get one over this guy,but also because I hope she can realise that her memories of the horrible individuals belong in the past and that those people don't really exist any more.
I think it has actually backfired on her, simply because she comes across as strange to do this in the first place and that the guy's humility in taking it on the chin, apologising and wishing her well for the future gives him the kudos he wouldn't have got by giving her the satisfaction of a hostile reaction.
That's a classy response. She was likely expecting him to feel humiliated and annoyed, and he comes back with a magnanimous reply. Even if insincere, he wins.
The reply could have easily been "Wow, way to hold a grudge. ****ing PSYCHO!!! Hope any of your future boyfriends are reading".
Who know what happens if she gets a boyfriend who then dumps her. Will she become a stalker - a bunny boiler.
Good job she ran to the papers about it so that innocent men all around the world can give her a wide berth.
^_^
That said, it's easy to forget that many childhood 'bullies' have no real idea of just how much of a negative impact their behaviour had. They weren't usually terrible people, just teens with not enough empathy, who externalised their own feelings of adolescent inadequacy by being mean to some of their peers. That doesn't excuse it obviously but most 'bullies' grow up into reasonable and decent people once the difficult years of teen angst have passed. This chap seems to have done exactly that from his response.
.
I agree some if not most grow up but of course some don't my Dad was a bully in school and carried on though his whole life and became a wife beater and physical abuser and has spent half his life in prison for assault -mugging and GBH
I was bulled in school and while some have grow up and become good people others have spent time in prison for carrying on the way they were.
Why on earth would you think that that was anyway likely???
Holding a grudge against some one from school for 8 years, concocting a plan of revenge and humiliation, writing a rather bitter note the to person in question and then selling the story to the papers.
Fabricated nonsense. Complete figment of her imagination otherwise she would name him. That note was written by somebody around 12 years old. She will be one of those lunatics on social media who latch on to people and tell them her life story and lose her temper if they don't respond to her within 5 minutes.
Why on earth would you think that that was anyway likely???.
I agree for some reason people are thinking she spent the last 8 years sat in a basement cutting photos up of him while stalking him and laughing like 80's cartoon villain.
When in reality she bumped into him at random he didn't know who she was but fancied her now and asked her on a date seems like he even approached her and she came up with that plan in a few seconds.
One thing I have noticed on threads like this you can always tell who the bullies were in school as they still think they were in the right and the victim deserved it and it was their own fault if they got upset about getting bullied.
Fabricated nonsense. Complete figment of her imagination otherwise she would name him. That note was written by somebody around 12 years old. She will be one of those lunatics on social media who latch on to people and tell them her life story and lose her temper if they don't respond to her within 5 minutes.
Naah, there's probably some bare bones of truth in it but the so-called note would likely have been written by someone on the Daily Mirror (probably work experience!) staff to embellish the story, along with some of the facts no doubt. How would the Mirror even possess a note she left in a restaurant for someone else?
Yes it could be attention-seeking fabrication from either her or the Mirror, but my money's on the embellishment angle. Good luck to her either way, if she was indeed bullied at school.
Holding a grudge against some one from school for 8 years, concocting a plan of revenge and humiliation, writing a rather bitter note the to person in question and then selling the story to the papers.
Conclusion?
The Bunniest of Boilers.
Daft conclusion. She suffered from her bullying, Wonderful note. Conclusion. Good on her.
Comments
Not if she sneezes during.
We don't know his name, or really anything about him? I mean he might not even exist?
All we apparently have is a handwritten note by the 'victim' to her childhood bully.
I don't see anything strange about it. I think (if true) it was a great thing to do. If I was her I would be delighted with myself for doing it and also delighted by his response, which was much more satisfying than a hostile reaction.
It's a shame she left such a self-pitying note. The "bully" may well have chalked it up as another win. As a result it WASN'T the kick in the teeth she wanted.
It seems to me the bully was magnaminus and self aware and has grown as a person since his school days, whilst the girl herself appears to be stuck in a rut from eight years ago. I get the feeling that he will end up living the much happier life.
Indeed great action - great response, Both winners. It's feel good stuff
I think when someone has been bullied it can be hard to move on from because the memory of the humiliation can remain as fresh as the day it happened precisely because there was no opportunity to find closure at the time. It's probably no surprise that the victim of bullying is more affected by it, and for longer, than those who did the bullying.
That said, it's easy to forget that many childhood 'bullies' have no real idea of just how much of a negative impact their behaviour had. They weren't usually terrible people, just teens with not enough empathy, who externalised their own feelings of adolescent inadequacy by being mean to some of their peers. That doesn't excuse it obviously but most 'bullies' grow up into reasonable and decent people once the difficult years of teen angst have passed. This chap seems to have done exactly that from his response.
I hope that this young woman can move on now, not only because it was no doubt a cathartic thing to be able to get one over this guy,but also because I hope she can realise that her memories of the horrible individuals belong in the past and that those people don't really exist any more.
Who know what happens if she gets a boyfriend who then dumps her. Will she become a stalker - a bunny boiler.
Good job she ran to the papers about it so that innocent men all around the world can give her a wide berth.
^_^
I agree some if not most grow up but of course some don't my Dad was a bully in school and carried on though his whole life and became a wife beater and physical abuser and has spent half his life in prison for assault -mugging and GBH
I was bulled in school and while some have grow up and become good people others have spent time in prison for carrying on the way they were.
Innocent men don't bully and I'm sure she will be pleased to be given a wide berth by anyone who thinks her behaviour was psychotic.
You don't think innocent men who read the story might have second thoughts about dating her after what she's done?
Holding a grudge against some one from school for 8 years, concocting a plan of revenge and humiliation, writing a rather bitter note the to person in question and then selling the story to the papers.
Conclusion?
The Bunniest of Boilers.
I agree for some reason people are thinking she spent the last 8 years sat in a basement cutting photos up of him while stalking him and laughing like 80's cartoon villain.
When in reality she bumped into him at random he didn't know who she was but fancied her now and asked her on a date seems like he even approached her and she came up with that plan in a few seconds.
One thing I have noticed on threads like this you can always tell who the bullies were in school as they still think they were in the right and the victim deserved it and it was their own fault if they got upset about getting bullied.
Naah, there's probably some bare bones of truth in it but the so-called note would likely have been written by someone on the Daily Mirror (probably work experience!) staff to embellish the story, along with some of the facts no doubt. How would the Mirror even possess a note she left in a restaurant for someone else?
Yes it could be attention-seeking fabrication from either her or the Mirror, but my money's on the embellishment angle. Good luck to her either way, if she was indeed bullied at school.
Agreed.
You can they are the ones who try and still put the victim down and big up the bully
Victim blaming is bounced about quite a lot. Especially to those taken in by a daily mail sad face.
You mean like make up a scenario where she has been stalking him and plotting this for the last 8 years.
No not intelligent innocent men,