Worst Facebook status updates

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 893
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    goonst wrote: »
    I just had another skim over Luke's wall and oh god.

    They cannot be for real.

    Look at the comment chain underneath his post about the dentist.

    Luke:

    im glad we can nver wait aswell and it will always be this way for us babe i promise you that and your right we will always feel the sameway bout everything babe and it will never change mot ever im glad we both promise that to eachother and that will always be good with me babe promise you that and it would be better tommorow cus my tablets run out then and i have dentist on thursday babe and im glad thats all that matters to us aswell babe

    Rachel:

    I'm glad we feel the sameway bout that and i'm glad it will always be this way for us and i'm glad we promise eachother that babe and i'm glad we both know that we will always feel the sameway bout everything and i'm glad we know it won't ever change not ever and i'm glad we promise eachother that to baby and i'm glad it will always be gd wiv you babe and i'm glad you promise me that and that's fine babe i will stay tommorrow and i hope they sort yr tooth out and that is all that will ever matter to us babe i have no doubts bout that and thanks babe and i'm sure i will feel lot's better

    :eek:

    Gotta be some kind of record.
  • PrincessEssexPrincessEssex Posts: 1,414
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    I know its bad seeing as "Luke" doesn't know about this thread but it is awfully funny!!
  • MsWilder11MsWilder11 Posts: 13,498
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    Has he just got fb solely for her???
  • GalindaGalinda Posts: 695
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    Like a few ohers have mentioned, the constant baby updates are the most annoying. Its shocking how many people think they have a child genius because he/she pooed in a potty way before all his/her nursery friends.

    A girl on my facebook who is constantly going on about her baby has just changed her profile pic to one of those keep calm and carry on posters but saying keep calm and love *daughters name* and her partner has the same pic blerghhh! Would she find it funny if i ask who it is, do you think?! :D
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    Chewed to **** today think school run tunes blasting n house work thn trip to council n sunnys , can't wait to get out of this town
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    Omg go bank chatted up my 2 piss eds lol bork
  • SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
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    She's always "Glad to hear it"!
    Luke Lawton
    had a lovely evening with my beautiful wifey Ms Rachael to be Lawton Davies and is now off to bed to dream about her cant wait to spend all day evening and night with her tommorow really lookinb forward to it nunight baby girl sweetdreams missing you loads and love you billions and forevr and always wifey xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
    Share · Friday at 20:53 via Mobile ·

    Rachael Davies glad to hear it babe and i had a lovely evening wiv you to hubby and i'm glad to hear it babe and i'm off to bed sn to
    Friday at 21:21 · 1
    Rachael Davies dream bout you to hubby and i'm glad to hear it babe and i can't wait to spend the day evening and night wiv you
    Friday at 21:24 · 1
    Rachael Davies tommorrow either babe and i'm glad we are both really looking forward to it nunight baby boi sweetdreams missing you
    Friday at 21:27 · 1
    Rachael Davies loads and love you billions and forever and always hubby xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx and i can't wait to
    Friday at 21:30 · 1
    Rachael Davies be Mrs Lawton love you Mr Lawton xxxxx xxxxx
    Friday at 21:32 · 1

    Oh and Rachael likes 'I am Addicted To You Baby'. Yes, safe to say she is addicted!
  • sam.hall13sam.hall13 Posts: 203
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    goonst wrote: »
    Got caught up with some AIM & GREP UK work last night and then put the world to rights until stupid AM with my AIM Florida brother from a different mother [John] "AdeKwit" [Smith.] Gonna bump some underground fuego and keeps the cogs at AIM HQ turning.

    Take AIM against an AmeriKKKa that continues to oppress anyone who speaks out against injustice. KILLUMINATI by TAKING AIM!!!

    This is a real banger hermano. It's great to see you all collabing on such potent tracks. Props fam. Happy New Year homie! :) AIM!

    ...

    Bitch, you are a squat, 30-something year old white woman from Edinburgh. What the hell are you doing? Big ups to your ****ing homies? Are you kidding me?

    I used to have grudging respect for this woman because she does support some worthwhile causes and does occasionally pull out an action with the AIM (anti-injustice movement) which I can support. Then I hung out with her a couple of times...alarm bells started ringing when she thought it was super ironic and awesome to snort coke and speed off the bible - and god knows that £100s worth of powder only funds justice. Then every single time she made it to an action she would get thirsty for Starbucks or hungry for McDonalds. Num num num, I hate capitalism, I am all about the animal rights, num num num bacon.

    Not to mention the fact that she would almost never show or she'd be hours late. Why? Because she had a big night or three. We all know that's why. Everyone. But she has an endocrine disorder and she trots that out as her excuse every single time, and there have been hundreds of times. She goes out and gets absolutely hammered, absolutely wasted. Coincidentally she feels ****ing lousy in the morning - damn disease playing up! Nothing to do with the vodka or the coke.

    This would annoy me in anyone, but the fact that she thinks she's this ****ing crusader for justice is what really makes it.

    /rant :o

    That mare is not getting into the USA anytime this century, does the moron not realise the TSA/Homeland Security read stuff like that?
  • sam.hall13sam.hall13 Posts: 203
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    goonst wrote: »
    I just had another skim over Luke's wall and oh god.

    They cannot be for real.

    Look at the comment chain underneath his post about the dentist.

    Luke:

    im glad we can nver wait aswell and it will always be this way for us babe i promise you that and your right we will always feel the sameway bout everything babe and it will never change mot ever im glad we both promise that to eachother and that will always be good with me babe promise you that and it would be better tommorow cus my tablets run out then and i have dentist on thursday babe and im glad thats all that matters to us aswell babe

    Rachel:

    I'm glad we feel the sameway bout that and i'm glad it will always be this way for us and i'm glad we promise eachother that babe and i'm glad we both know that we will always feel the sameway bout everything and i'm glad we know it won't ever change not ever and i'm glad we promise eachother that to baby and i'm glad it will always be gd wiv you babe and i'm glad you promise me that and that's fine babe i will stay tommorrow and i hope they sort yr tooth out and that is all that will ever matter to us babe i have no doubts bout that and thanks babe and i'm sure i will feel lot's better

    :eek:

    Luke & Rachel - the reason why giving brotherly love to your sister is wrong.:D
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    My 16 year old cousin has liked a status from a 16 year old lad that says 'like if you want a phone call'. She's the type that likes all the statuses such as 'like this and I'll rate you' or 'like this and I'll inbox you'.
  • pugamopugamo Posts: 18,039
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    My 16 year old cousin has liked a status from a 16 year old lad that says 'like if you want a phone call'. She's the type that likes all the statuses such as 'like this and I'll rate you' or 'like this and I'll inbox you'.

    Hope its not a dirty phone call!
  • EraserheadEraserhead Posts: 22,016
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    I'm so glad I deleted my FB account. I got fed up with pathetic notifications from bored friends like "Katie has planted some strawberries on her farm" (stupid retarded FB game). I don't f***ing care!

    The last straw was a friend posting about 20 photos a day of his new bloody dog. Ugly thing it was, too.

    God I hate people :(
  • CUP OF TEAAA!CUP OF TEAAA! Posts: 4,821
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    I just want to echo what lots of others have said: Oh my God at Luke Lawton! I literally can't believe that! Nothing wrong with a bit of romance, but THAT should be illegal. Everyone should send a link of his account to their friends! I know I will, can you imagine if it went viral? :eek: Is anyone going to show it to their friends?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,725
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    That Luke Lawton is comical:D:D

    "is so lucky to have the beautiful wifey Rachael Davies in my life and cant wait to marry her next june missing you loads and love you billions wifey xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx"

    Are they renewing their vows already?:eek::D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 998
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    any status that includes the phrase 'last night's antics'.
  • hobbleithobbleit Posts: 10,709
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    Any status that includes "gawjuss"
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    pugamo wrote: »
    Hope its not a dirty phone call!

    Don't know ha ha don't think I'd know how to do a dirty phone call at 16, but you don't know with kids these days.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,012
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    goonst wrote: »
    I just had another skim over Luke's wall and oh god.

    They cannot be for real.

    Look at the comment chain underneath his post about the dentist.

    Luke:

    im glad we can nver wait aswell and it will always be this way for us babe i promise you that and your right we will always feel the sameway bout everything babe and it will never change mot ever im glad we both promise that to eachother and that will always be good with me babe promise you that and it would be better tommorow cus my tablets run out then and i have dentist on thursday babe and im glad thats all that matters to us aswell babe

    Rachel:

    I'm glad we feel the sameway bout that and i'm glad it will always be this way for us and i'm glad we promise eachother that babe and i'm glad we both know that we will always feel the sameway bout everything and i'm glad we know it won't ever change not ever and i'm glad we promise eachother that to baby and i'm glad it will always be gd wiv you babe and i'm glad you promise me that and that's fine babe i will stay tommorrow and i hope they sort yr tooth out and that is all that will ever matter to us babe i have no doubts bout that and thanks babe and i'm sure i will feel lot's better

    :eek:
    I hope they sort both their brains out:p
  • AdcmAdcm Posts: 1,587
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    is Luke Lawton a real person? :o
  • paulmasterpaulmaster Posts: 237
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    i have pm this thread 2 him
  • buffyslaybuffyslay Posts: 1,582
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    paulmaster wrote: »
    i have pm this thread 2 him

    oh! my! god!
  • buffyslaybuffyslay Posts: 1,582
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    Omg go bank chatted up my 2 piss eds lol bork

    i have no idea what this means?
  • jojo2008jojo2008 Posts: 4,910
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    paulmaster wrote: »
    i have pm this thread 2 him

    Brilliant :D
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    buffyslay wrote: »
    i have no idea what this means?

    I think she got chatted up at the bank by 2 drunks. Just a guess. It's difficult deciphering the statuses she puts.
  • marcina bolanmarcina bolan Posts: 645
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    dentures wrote: »
    any status that includes the phrase 'last night's antics'.

    ditto the ones that simply put 'wrecked.com'.
This discussion has been closed.