The difference between us is that as a parent I will have a love in my life and my old age that you will never ever experience. No carer will love you like that.
I think this is the sort of attitude that I hate - the parent who thinks that childless people are some lower form of life.
The drawbacks you describe about having kids will one day be applied to the drawbacks for the person/people who will care for you in your dotage. Having to bathe you, toilet you, feed you, entertain you, listen to your inane chatter about your school days, put you back to bed when you wander around at night, dress you, tolerate your geriatric crankiness....someone will need to have the patience for the constant attention you will crave when you have nobody to pay attention to you.
Just as well we have people in society willing to be paid to look after the future-you then eh...?
The difference between us is that as a parent I will have a love in my life and my old age that you will never ever experience. No carer will love you like that.
That assumes you will get on well with your children. You might not. And that happens quite often.
And your children may not want to look after you when you get old and will be quite happy for you to go to an old people's home.
They might not have the time anyway to look after you, what with other commitments, e.g. their own children and/or jobs.
You can't rely on your own children or other family members to look after you when you get old. They might, but just as equally, they might not.
People should be rewarded for not having children, not like with the present system where they are rewarded for having any number of children, with no cut off point. If it were down to me, if you want to have more than say three children, you wont get any more state handouts for their upkeep.
I think this is the sort of attitude that I hate - the parent who thinks that childless people are some lower form of life.
Quite, utterly appalling actually. It's as if we've chosen not to procreate and so can only look forward to a bleak, empty, lonely existence in our old age with nobody caring for us, not only that, we deserve it somehow! Mind boggling.
I think this is the sort of attitude that I hate - the parent who thinks that childless people are some lower form of life.
My reply was in direct response to a post that all but described children as a lower form of life.
Be child-free by choice by all means, but understand that we parents too get fed up with such people who crankily decry children as though they are insects.
My reply was in direct response to a post that all but described children as a lower form of life.
Be child-free by choice by all means, but understand that we parents too get fed up with such people who crankily decry children as though they are insects.
And you need to understand the difference between "child free" and "infertile". Not everyone is child free by choice - and your comments are an insult to anyone who can't have children.
Went through a horrible phase in my mid 20's when is dawned on me that kids probably wouldn't happen for me, realistically due my various issues, social services would be unlikely to let me keep them.
I was gutted for a few years, but pretty much at peace now, seeing friends struggle with their kids, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't cope and would never bring a life into the world to end up in the care system.
I may not lead a full life for lots of reason, but not having kids isn't one of them IMO.
I want kids too but i dont think its going to happen for me too but considering adoption. just fed up with fb people always rubbing it in. they must be aware someone on their list is having fertility problems buts its all me me.Also hurts when people who only want kids for a house and benefits always get pregnant with no problem,and people like me who really want a family cant.This world is messed up.
I am 33 and don't have kids. I have no intentions of having any either. The world is overpopulated as it is. The average baby will go through several trees worth of nappies and will go onto consume an average of 70 tonnes of food in its lifetime. Then there is the obligatory house, car and all the resources that are needed to power those things. If more people choose not to have kids the better the planet will be.
And please (I implore you) to pay for IVF treatment yourself or don't have it at all. The NHS is far too overstretched as it is and in some cases cannot afford to dispense life saving medications or perform important surgeries. It should not be used to fund lifestyle choices.
I am 33 and don't have kids. I have no intentions of having any either. The world is overpopulated as it is. The average baby will go through several trees worth of nappies and will go onto consume an average of 70 tonnes of food in its lifetime. Then there is the obligatory house, car and all the resources that are needed to power those things. If more people choose not to have kids the better the planet will be.
And please (I implore you) to pay for IVF treatment yourself or don't have it at all. The NHS is far too overstretched as it is and in some cases cannot afford to dispense life saving medications or perform important surgeries. It should not be used to fund lifestyle choices.
Do you think that people shouldn't have children if they can't afford to pay for IVF themselves? At the end of the day, just as it is your choice to not have children, it is up to others whether they do or not.
Do you think that people shouldn't have children if they can't afford to pay for IVF themselves? At the end of the day, just as it is your choice to not have children, it is up to others whether they do or not.
My friend tried for 7 years before getting pregnant. She didn't change anything, it was just her time. Well she started drinking hot water with lemon 2 weeks before she conceived but I'm pretty sure that's a coincidence.
In the same vein I could say that if someone has smoked and developed lung cancer then the NHS shouldn't have to pay either as it is a lifestyle choice. Apologies to anybody who has or is going through this kind of situation, it was the first one that came to mind.
Young people, including children are dying, vital services are being cut in the NHS.
If you want a child, pay for it!!!
(that's what you'd say to people on benefits no?)
I am extremely lucky to have my 3 healthy, happy children and my own 2 healthy, happy grandchildren, as well as my son's partners 6 children. I would never tell anyone else whether they should or should not have children. Everybody's financial situation is their own business, not mine. Children are a real joy but everybody should have the choice whether they do or do not have children.
I am 33 and don't have kids. I have no intentions of having any either. The world is overpopulated as it is. The average baby will go through several trees worth of nappies and will go onto consume an average of 70 tonnes of food in its lifetime. Then there is the obligatory house, car and all the resources that are needed to power those things. If more people choose not to have kids the better the planet will be.
And please (I implore you) to pay for IVF treatment yourself or don't have it at all. The NHS is far too overstretched as it is and in some cases cannot afford to dispense life saving medications or perform important surgeries. It should not be used to fund lifestyle choices.
that is a touch unfair - the mental effects of infertility are devastating
In the same vein I could say that if someone has smoked and developed lung cancer then the NHS shouldn't have to pay either as it is a lifestyle choice. Apologies to anybody who has or is going through this kind of situation, it was the first one that came to mind.
The difference being is that the average smoker pays more in cigarette duty over the time period that they smoke than for the cost of any potential hospital treatment needed. So, effectively smokers generally fund their own healthcare.
The difference being is that the average smoker pays more in cigarette duty over the time period that they smoke than for the cost of any potential hospital treatment needed. So, effectively smokers generally fund their own healthcare.
Hi jra. Yeah sorry I was trying to sound sarcastic but guess I failed. Slinks off to chatter.
My parents battled with fertility problems for years with mum having operations to remove cysts from her wombs and ovaries yet they kept growing back and she told me dad had a low sperm count so they had given up when I came along and was born when mum and dad were 45. I'm sure in a ideal world she'd of had me earlier and I do wish they were younger so I'd have more time with them but that's not always necessarily the case as I had a friend whose parents died when they were in their fifties and she was a teenager.
As for me, a part of me would like to be a mum but I'm currently undergoing investigations as sex is painful for me so would have to get through that barrier first. I also worry about the process of giving birth as sex is painful enough as it is so I dread to think of the pain giving birth naturally. Of course there is C-section but I'd worry about it mucking my stomach muscles up as I know a couple of people who have had them who find it extremely difficult to lose weight.
My parents had us quite late - my mam was 33 when she had her first and 44 when she had her last. I had a similar situation as scar_tissue where unfortunately with having older parents, meant I sadly had not enough time with my mam and I'm now looking after my dad who is 62 and not well.
I can't stand people who act as if having children is lifes one main achievement and once you've fulfilled that criteria, your life is complete. Mainly because there are so many rubbish parents around and so many people who would do anything for a child that cannot have one. There are so many ways to have an happy life, we can't all follow the family route and its just ridiculous to assume so tbh
I always thought I was going to be a favorite auntie rather than a mother but my boyfriend is so keen to have children and it's scaring me the thought of my baby having a similar childhood to my own with older, unwell parents if i don't make a decision some oon Im only 25 and I feel a clock ticking oh dear!!!
that is a touch unfair - the mental effects of infertility are devastating
People dealt with it in previous decades though pre-IVF. They just got on with life. I think people were made of tougher stuff then because if they could not have a baby they had to either accept it or adopt. My cousin and his wife had six years of IVF failures which was far more devastating than anything - how many times do you want to experience your body saying 'NO'...? and they paid for their IVF treatment.
And who have children to care for them in old age. I would never want that. So selfish.
Very much this.
I have 2 children but when I'm old I will make sure that I've saved up enough in my life to have a carer looking after me. I want my children to be out there living their lives, building their own families and following their dreams, not running round caring for me.
Comments
I think this is the sort of attitude that I hate - the parent who thinks that childless people are some lower form of life.
And who have children to care for them in old age. I would never want that. So selfish.
That assumes you will get on well with your children. You might not. And that happens quite often.
And your children may not want to look after you when you get old and will be quite happy for you to go to an old people's home.
They might not have the time anyway to look after you, what with other commitments, e.g. their own children and/or jobs.
You can't rely on your own children or other family members to look after you when you get old. They might, but just as equally, they might not.
People should be rewarded for not having children, not like with the present system where they are rewarded for having any number of children, with no cut off point. If it were down to me, if you want to have more than say three children, you wont get any more state handouts for their upkeep.
Quite, utterly appalling actually. It's as if we've chosen not to procreate and so can only look forward to a bleak, empty, lonely existence in our old age with nobody caring for us, not only that, we deserve it somehow! Mind boggling.
My reply was in direct response to a post that all but described children as a lower form of life.
Be child-free by choice by all means, but understand that we parents too get fed up with such people who crankily decry children as though they are insects.
And you need to understand the difference between "child free" and "infertile". Not everyone is child free by choice - and your comments are an insult to anyone who can't have children.
I was gutted for a few years, but pretty much at peace now, seeing friends struggle with their kids, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't cope and would never bring a life into the world to end up in the care system.
I may not lead a full life for lots of reason, but not having kids isn't one of them IMO.
I have three hammies
And please (I implore you) to pay for IVF treatment yourself or don't have it at all. The NHS is far too overstretched as it is and in some cases cannot afford to dispense life saving medications or perform important surgeries. It should not be used to fund lifestyle choices.
It wouldn't be children looking after me. It would be a qualified adult. Your problem is?
Do you think that people shouldn't have children if they can't afford to pay for IVF themselves? At the end of the day, just as it is your choice to not have children, it is up to others whether they do or not.
They shouldn't expect others to pay for it though
In the same vein I could say that if someone has smoked and developed lung cancer then the NHS shouldn't have to pay either as it is a lifestyle choice. Apologies to anybody who has or is going through this kind of situation, it was the first one that came to mind.
Yes, basically.
Young people, including children are dying, vital services are being cut in the NHS.
If you want a child, pay for it!!!
(that's what you'd say to people on benefits no?)
I am extremely lucky to have my 3 healthy, happy children and my own 2 healthy, happy grandchildren, as well as my son's partners 6 children. I would never tell anyone else whether they should or should not have children. Everybody's financial situation is their own business, not mine. Children are a real joy but everybody should have the choice whether they do or do not have children.
that is a touch unfair - the mental effects of infertility are devastating
The difference being is that the average smoker pays more in cigarette duty over the time period that they smoke than for the cost of any potential hospital treatment needed. So, effectively smokers generally fund their own healthcare.
Hi jra. Yeah sorry I was trying to sound sarcastic but guess I failed.
As for me, a part of me would like to be a mum but I'm currently undergoing investigations as sex is painful for me so would have to get through that barrier first. I also worry about the process of giving birth as sex is painful enough as it is so I dread to think of the pain giving birth naturally. Of course there is C-section but I'd worry about it mucking my stomach muscles up as I know a couple of people who have had them who find it extremely difficult to lose weight.
I can't stand people who act as if having children is lifes one main achievement and once you've fulfilled that criteria, your life is complete. Mainly because there are so many rubbish parents around and so many people who would do anything for a child that cannot have one. There are so many ways to have an happy life, we can't all follow the family route and its just ridiculous to assume so tbh
I always thought I was going to be a favorite auntie rather than a mother but my boyfriend is so keen to have children and it's scaring me the thought of my baby having a similar childhood to my own with older, unwell parents if i don't make a decision some oon
You have plenty of time left don't worry
People dealt with it in previous decades though pre-IVF. They just got on with life. I think people were made of tougher stuff then because if they could not have a baby they had to either accept it or adopt. My cousin and his wife had six years of IVF failures which was far more devastating than anything - how many times do you want to experience your body saying 'NO'...? and they paid for their IVF treatment.
Very much this.
I have 2 children but when I'm old I will make sure that I've saved up enough in my life to have a carer looking after me. I want my children to be out there living their lives, building their own families and following their dreams, not running round caring for me.