One bad reference
![[Deleted User]](https://we.vanillicon.com/v2/eecf91f98a82bdd6392296340734710f.svg)
[Deleted User]
Posts: 1,397 Forum Member
✭✭✭
Ok... here goes:
I've been temping for around four months at a copmpany I love, in a job I really enjoy. Possibly the only job I've ever really enjoyed and can see a genuine future in. I had to go through a pretty tough recruitment in order to get to this stage, but have been conditionally offered a job, pending references.
Here's the rub.
Basically, in my last job (prior to working here for four months), I got on great with my boss, worked hard etc and I know he will give me a really fantastic reference. The job I had prior to that would have been fine, although because it was through an agency, they will not be able to provide a reference. I was really counting on that for a reference but all my current employer can do is contact the agency to find out the dates when I was working there, but they won't be able to provide any information such as character references or anything to do with the quality of my work and so on. This is a real blow as this job was very relevant to what I am doing now so I'm gutted about that.
The job I had prior to this was in a restaurant, and not relevant at all to what I'm doing now, though the reference I get will be fine so I'm not worried about it.
I should mention at this point that I have a medical condition that my employer is fully aware of. I'm really well now and it doesn't affect my ability to work at all, and they have been really happy with what I've done there. The condition I have does mean that it can manifest itself mentally.
About four or five years ago I was having a really awful time in my personal life with an ex boyfriend who was abusive verbally, mentally and physically. He made me feel like complete dirt and as though I wasn't worth anything. I can say without any doubt that it was the worst time of my whole life full stop, even worse than when I have been physically poorly and in hospital. When we were together and I was living with him, I got a job in an insurance company, which I initially really enjoyed. It was something to strive for and our relationship wasn't a total disaster when I got the job. Things were going ok, but then my ex's abusive behaviour became worse and worse.
I started missing work, not because I was covered in bruises or anything - he was 'only' physically violent towards me on two occasions - but because I felt so low I couldn't leave the house. I began calling in sick at first, but then didn't do that either. I couldn't even go to the doctor because I just didn't want to leave the house.
Where I was living at the time was quite far away from my parents and I didn't want them to worry and didn't want to move away from my ex because I was in love with him (despite the bullying). I didnt go to work, I didn't call any of my friends any more.
I received letters from work enquiring as to my whereabouts; informing me of a disciplinary hearing; and finally, informing me I had been sacked.
I went home to my parents and sunk into an even worse depression. My physical health deteriorated and I was hospitalised. Eventually I got back on my feet and got the restaurant job, and progressed slowly but surely, month by month, to get to the point I'm at now. I don't recognise who I was then - it was a different person.
My work place were not fully aware of my condition because I couldn't leave the house, let alone talk to anyone on the phone. It was awful.
The thing is, all this can be backed up (now) with comprehensive reports from my consultant team at the hospital, and also by an independent occupational health assessment. I'm just terrified that this one awful reference will reflect badly on me forever. My current employer goes back a full five years for references, regardless of age, etc.
They are understanding about the physical side of my condition and I can't fault them for that, but I'm so worried about this one reference. I'm worried it could cost me not only my job but my future in this line of work. I just feel so down about the whole thing, as I was so excited about the conditional offer.
Any advice/help?
I know you guys don't know my company or how they work etc but I'd just appreciate some impartial opinions.
Thanks
I've been temping for around four months at a copmpany I love, in a job I really enjoy. Possibly the only job I've ever really enjoyed and can see a genuine future in. I had to go through a pretty tough recruitment in order to get to this stage, but have been conditionally offered a job, pending references.
Here's the rub.
Basically, in my last job (prior to working here for four months), I got on great with my boss, worked hard etc and I know he will give me a really fantastic reference. The job I had prior to that would have been fine, although because it was through an agency, they will not be able to provide a reference. I was really counting on that for a reference but all my current employer can do is contact the agency to find out the dates when I was working there, but they won't be able to provide any information such as character references or anything to do with the quality of my work and so on. This is a real blow as this job was very relevant to what I am doing now so I'm gutted about that.
The job I had prior to this was in a restaurant, and not relevant at all to what I'm doing now, though the reference I get will be fine so I'm not worried about it.
I should mention at this point that I have a medical condition that my employer is fully aware of. I'm really well now and it doesn't affect my ability to work at all, and they have been really happy with what I've done there. The condition I have does mean that it can manifest itself mentally.
About four or five years ago I was having a really awful time in my personal life with an ex boyfriend who was abusive verbally, mentally and physically. He made me feel like complete dirt and as though I wasn't worth anything. I can say without any doubt that it was the worst time of my whole life full stop, even worse than when I have been physically poorly and in hospital. When we were together and I was living with him, I got a job in an insurance company, which I initially really enjoyed. It was something to strive for and our relationship wasn't a total disaster when I got the job. Things were going ok, but then my ex's abusive behaviour became worse and worse.
I started missing work, not because I was covered in bruises or anything - he was 'only' physically violent towards me on two occasions - but because I felt so low I couldn't leave the house. I began calling in sick at first, but then didn't do that either. I couldn't even go to the doctor because I just didn't want to leave the house.
Where I was living at the time was quite far away from my parents and I didn't want them to worry and didn't want to move away from my ex because I was in love with him (despite the bullying). I didnt go to work, I didn't call any of my friends any more.
I received letters from work enquiring as to my whereabouts; informing me of a disciplinary hearing; and finally, informing me I had been sacked.
I went home to my parents and sunk into an even worse depression. My physical health deteriorated and I was hospitalised. Eventually I got back on my feet and got the restaurant job, and progressed slowly but surely, month by month, to get to the point I'm at now. I don't recognise who I was then - it was a different person.
My work place were not fully aware of my condition because I couldn't leave the house, let alone talk to anyone on the phone. It was awful.
The thing is, all this can be backed up (now) with comprehensive reports from my consultant team at the hospital, and also by an independent occupational health assessment. I'm just terrified that this one awful reference will reflect badly on me forever. My current employer goes back a full five years for references, regardless of age, etc.
They are understanding about the physical side of my condition and I can't fault them for that, but I'm so worried about this one reference. I'm worried it could cost me not only my job but my future in this line of work. I just feel so down about the whole thing, as I was so excited about the conditional offer.
Any advice/help?
I know you guys don't know my company or how they work etc but I'd just appreciate some impartial opinions.
Thanks
0
Comments
Standard references that just confirm dates worked are increasingly common as HR departments are outsourced, more people have flexible working histories etc. Can you rememebr who was your main contact at the agency- if they are still there woulod they be prepared to give you a more detailed reference? Alternatively, what about your line manager at the company the agency placed you. If they have positve memories of you would they help?
It was my old line manager at that place who I contacted and she sent me a nice email she was sorry but she couldn't give one. It was a HUGE organisation, so lots of people have moved on. The agency would never remember me; I only went into the office once and never had any contact with them so I'd just be a name with a list of dates on a file.
I forwarded the email from my old line manager to the new place just so they know that I tried to get a reference from her, but it's nothing like the same as an actual reference.
My new place deal a lot with this issue (only getting agency refs) and haven't said that they won't accept a reference from the agency - I think that'll be ok, though not very detailed sadly. They didn't say it'd be a problem. Most people at my old place were temps.
Did you fill in a formal application form for this job- if so did it ask if you have ever been dismissed from a job for gross misconduct?
I did fill out a formal application for it and I was NEVER asked to state whether or not I had been dismissed for gross misconduct. That's good right? I didn't lie.
Also, their form is quite misleading,as they say the use references covering at least the last 5 years and/or at least 2 jobs including current/most recent employer.
I gave them, on my form, the detailed information of my last 2 jobs, as well as the most recent (so three in total). They then asked me for refs covering five years. Something doesn't sit right - according to their form, I am only obliged to give refs from the last two years plus my most current. But now they're asking me for five years.
It seems off to me. I've been really honest about it and about the hard time I was going through, and they did say that they get five years' worth of refs to have the best possible picture, but that things are taken in context.
I'm just feeling really down about it because if I don't get this job because of that reference, it'll be like all the work and things I've gone through to get to this point in the last four years will have been for nothing.
That would be your two previous employers (ok, not technically, but you have a proper excuse - include the email from your agency).
I agree about the transferrable skills part, as it is relevant, though not as much as the last three jobs I've had.
To be honest, I didn't include it on the application, because then I'd have had reams and reams of stuff that was only partially relevant to what I was doing, and I was under the impression that I only had to give them the last two (or three) and not five years' worth.
The email was directly from my former line manager. It was a nice email saying good luck and everything, but she stressed it wasn't policy to give written references and definitely not for temps. I think she'd be in breach of company policy if she did that and she's always been very professional.