Would you date/marry someone who is HIV+?

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  • jackoljackol Posts: 7,887
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    Voynich wrote: »
    You'd be very 'safe' anyway being asexual.

    Is he asexual? Funny he has never mentioned it
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,681
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    I would date/marry somebody who is HIV+. As long as you take precautions and practice safe sex, then I don't see what the problem is?
  • chris1978chris1978 Posts: 1,931
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    Honest but incredibly ill-informed. Too many people on this thread are stuck in the 1980s. A person on HIV treatment with an undetectable viral load is as good as uninfectious. Someone who is diagnosed early and starts treatment on time can expect a normal life expectancy. Yet all these posts fixating on the 'threat' from someone with HIV and having to watch them die early.

    The irony is these people who say they'd run a mile if someone told them they're HIV positive would quite happily have sex with someone who says nothing about HIV. You're far safer having sex with an HIV positive person on treatment with an undetectable viral load than having sex with someone about whose HIV status you know nothing.

    Sources:
    http://www.aidsmap.com/Studies-heterosexual-transmission/page/1322862/

    http://namlife.org/cms1254901.aspx

    This post says it all. Totally agree with everything here.
  • OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    It wouldn't stop me. There are ways to protect yourself.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,182
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    I did when I was about 17. He had only just been diagnosed so wasn't in the best head space so we split up. It wasn't a big deal for me a the time and it still isn't now. I wanted to have sex with him but he wasn't ready for that, it was just a badly timed relationship.

    I have a friend who has HIV and he's convinced he can't get a relationship because of it but it's more due to the fact that he puts no effort into finding anyone. He expects them to roll up to his front door I think.
  • DarociaDarocia Posts: 220
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    I probably wouldn't.

    I suspect they would tell me of the HIV before the relationship progressed, in which case it would probably put me off and the relationship would go no further. If they didn't tell me until after the relationship started then I doubt I could trust them.

    This does seem hypocritical of me because I've had an STD and was just lucky it wasn't HIV. However I've been too careful since to willingly put myself through another HIV test.
  • *Clem**Clem* Posts: 4,101
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    No, I wouldn't.
  • Linda_AndersonLinda_Anderson Posts: 169
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    Honest but incredibly ill-informed. Too many people on this thread are stuck in the 1980s. A person on HIV treatment with an undetectable viral load is as good as uninfectious. Someone who is diagnosed early and starts treatment on time can expect a normal life expectancy. Yet all these posts fixating on the 'threat' from someone with HIV and having to watch them die early.

    The irony is these people who say they'd run a mile if someone told them they're HIV positive would quite happily have sex with someone who says nothing about HIV. You're far safer having sex with an HIV positive person on treatment with an undetectable viral load than having sex with someone about whose HIV status you know nothing.

    Sources:
    http://www.aidsmap.com/Studies-heterosexual-transmission/page/1322862/

    http://namlife.org/cms1254901.aspx

    I honestly didn't know that. Medical treatment has come a long way the last few years.
  • Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    to be im not worthy of dating anyone else any way

    That's very :( and hard to believe.
  • tellywatcher73tellywatcher73 Posts: 4,181
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    It would depend how they were dealing with it. If they were in an okay place about and were responsible with medication, precautions etc then I'd consider it but I wouldn't want it to end up being the main focus of a relationship.
  • Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    EuroChris wrote: »
    I would date/marry somebody who is HIV+. As long as you take precautions and practice safe sex, then I don't see what the problem is?

    For me the problems would be that I want children and I much prefer sex without a condom.

    I would sleep with someone with HIV if they were incredibly fit, but wouldn't have a relationship with them.
  • That_GuyThat_Guy Posts: 1,421
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    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people. To those who said no, would you marry or have a relationship with a cancer patient if it was contagious? Or is it just because it's HIV?
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people. To those who said no, would you marry or have a relationship with a cancer patient if it was contagious? Or is it just because it's HIV?

    I would say the same answer to Cancer if it was contagious or not it wouldn't be a fear of catching anything but the fear of watching someone I loved die that would put me off
  • Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people. To those who said no, would you marry or have a relationship with a cancer patient if it was contagious? Or is it just because it's HIV?

    No, I wouldn't want to 'contract' cancer either.
  • TenukTenuk Posts: 24
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    I wouldn't. What of it? You wouldn't date or marry anyone if you knew there was no possibility of getting 100% out of the relationship. Wouldn't be fair to either party
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    to be im not worthy of dating anyone else any way
    Let's not make the thread about you. There's a perfectly good (?!) advice forum to find out why you are so undatable.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,764
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people.
    Well that's the thing - every one of us does have a horrible side, sadly, and to be realistic, none of us is without our own prejudices.
  • jrajra Posts: 48,325
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    jackol wrote: »
    Is he asexual? Funny he has never mentioned it

    He has actually.
    http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showpost.php?p=64977052&postcount=52

    And maybe not the only occasion.
    Muze wrote: »
    Ooooooohh :o

    I thought you were suggesting that he could catch HIV by having someone brush is teeth.... my bad.

    It's technically possibly if you share a tooth brush, but who does, I wonder.
  • bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people. To those who said no, would you marry or have a relationship with a cancer patient if it was contagious? Or is it just because it's HIV?

    No, again.

    I think it's just self preservation rather than a "horrible" side.

    Would you perform oral sex with somebody if the resultant bodily fluids always carried the norovirus and you could keep on getting it ?......

    ......but you were married to them and they wanted it.....?

    Who would be showing a horrible side in that scenario ?
  • That_GuyThat_Guy Posts: 1,421
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    blueblade wrote: »
    No, again.

    I think it's just self preservation rather than a "horrible" side.

    Would you perform oral sex with somebody if the resultant bodily fluids always carried the norovirus and you could keep on getting it ?......

    ......but you were married to them and they wanted it.....?

    Who would be showing a horrible side in that scenario ?
    There are ways to perform oral sex safely, sweetheart. Why don't you grow up and post on here when you have something mature to add to the conversation? Cheers.
  • Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    There are ways to perform oral sex safely, sweetheart. Why don't you grow up and post on here when you have something mature to add to the conversation? Cheers.

    What 'grown up' things have you added....sweetheart?
  • Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    Ugh. This thread brings out a horrible side in people.

    Or maybe their honest side?
  • SemieroticSemierotic Posts: 11,131
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    I'm sorry, but I wouldn't want anything to do with them, if I knew they were HIV+! :o

    I'm glad you included the blushing emoticon because that's a pathetic thing to say.
  • bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    That_Guy wrote: »
    There are ways to perform oral sex safely, sweetheart. Why don't you grow up and post on here when you have something mature to add to the conversation? Cheers.

    The personalised insults always start when the respondent is totally stumped by the question posed.

    So says over 9 years experience of DS ;)
  • jrajra Posts: 48,325
    Forum Member
    blueblade wrote: »
    The personalised insults always start when the respondent is totally stumped by the question posed.

    So says over 9 years experience of DS ;)

    Personally, I don't see why there is a problem with being (very) careful with the sexual partners you chose these days and even if it is apparently safe to have unprotected sex with someone you know to be HIV positive, what happens if they miss or stop treatments.
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