About 11 years ago. At the time I had a neighbour from hell who was stalking and harrassing me on a daily basis. I was in the middle of therapy with a very weird therapist who made me feel very unsafe, I was working far too many hours in a stressful job and what with the stalker and work I felt I had no safe place to relax. I've had several depressive episodes prior to that, but this was the first time I experienced mania. I've never been so frightened in my life by how out of control I was. For several weeks I was out of touch with reality and then crashed and had months off work. I remember walking down the street and just feeling so totally out of touch with the world around me and so totally alone.
Things got better of course and in a way those experiences have helped me to recognise when I am slipping moodwise again and that makes it easier to get through.
To everyone thank you for sharing your experiences. To those who have managed to find happiness I hope this continues and I think it is inspiring for all us who are currently experiencing hard times to feel that things can get better. To everyone still in the eye of a storm don't give up the sun has to come out sometime. Hogzilla I hope you can get something done about the man who is harassing you. Scary.
God some of the stories here are terrible I don't know how some of you coped
July 2011, After about a year or so of bad pain in my stomach/ovary area (Doctors didn't know what it was and thought perhaps IBS) If my mum hadn't suggested a scan then I don't know what would have happend. The friday before I was due to go in on the Monday, I woke Friday early morning with the worst pain I have felt and was taken to hospital about 5am. at 10am I was sent for an ultrasound and they said it was ovarian cyst and to go back to the ward. At 2:00 2 doctors came in and told me I was having to have an operation. I was pretty young at the time 17 and this was my first operation. By 4 o'clock I was having an operation to remove it.
This was followed by a person (who was alot older than me 38) in my college class (who knew I had been ill since my attendance was bad) harassing me and asking all the details for serveral months afterwards.
Some really hard to read stuff here... but I am in awe of how strong you are.
Worst thing to happen to me was back in 2002, living in Cardiff in my late teens and I was walking home from a late shift as a trainee nurse assistant and was horribly attacked under a subway by a gang of youths. Beaten, mugged and hit with a wooden post. I spent 2 days in hospital, and countless interviews at the police station. During the months it took for the police to do something about it - I somehow (tho terrified) found the strength to keep going to my job, and to also work part-time in my local grocery store, 2 min walk from where i lived. One night, as we were getting ready to lock up and leave the shop - the same gang pulled the outer metal shutter down, threatening to burn the place down, calling me a 'grass' - was absolutly terrified, horrific phobia of fire!
Anyways, finally ended up in court - the main ring leader was given a 18 month banning order from coming near me, and i was awarded compensation: £30. What a joke.
I dont think I'll ever get over it fully. It took me years of building my confidence back up, and facing the fear of going out alone.. but it'll always be there you know? whenever i see a gang i just feel that pang in my tummy. I now live in Cheshire, have a lovely fiancé and get about with no problems on my own - even travel to Cardiff on my own on the train! Get me! =D
Sending all those who have suffered - with whatever - big 'be strong' hugs
Falling unwell at 12 years old what had been just a "normal" kid growing up I found myself having this wide variety of very weird symptoms.I went from being a really overweight (and very tall for my age nearly 6ft at 13).basically down to skin and bones when the doctors failed to find the reason for the illness they assumed it was a cry for help.And one thing lead to another which they accused my dad of Sexually abusing me as they discovered 'Injuries' up the Anus and Gentials.Basically for the rest of my teenage years and 20's it was my family agains the NHS.
things finally came to a head when I had a massive hemorrhage and finally the NHS realised something very serious was going on.Went to a hospital in london and they found out I had this rare strain of illness not normally seen in this part of the world mostly in Asia etc.
Its left me with lifelong problems because they failed to diagnose me.The only thing that keeps me sane Ive been told by the hospitals in london because of the information they learned how this can affect people outside Asia its helped diagnose a lot more people who would no doubt have gone through the same thing and Treatment Regimes that can help
Some great stories here, albeit some tragic. It's really inspirational to hear how most of you have managed to pull yourselves out of the deepest of holes. Really puts my silly little problems into perspective.
The months following my nervous breakdown in October 2007 when I was 16 were the worst. I was so off my head that I can barely even remember what happened. There is a period of about 6 months or so that is just a complete black void. I may as well have been in a coma for all I was aware of.
On my 13th birthday, I found out my dad was cheating on my mum, or so I thought. As I dug around a bit, listened into conversations etc, I discovered my mum and dad were only together for the sake of the kids. As the eldest I had no idea what to do and at 16 they eventually separated however I had spent 3 years carrying around the burden that all wasn't as it seemed so when they split up, I went into a major self blame mode about how I could have kept them together if I'd said something. That was my logic anyway, resulted in me being arrested the first time I met my step mum. We get on well now though and my mum and step mum also get on well so all has come good.
2nd time was just last summer, my marriage fell apart and I found myself living in a homeless shelter with an alcohol and crack addiction to feed. And also doing smoking weed on a regular basis. Thankfully this only lasted for around 3 months and I pulled myself out of it again.
I had a nervous breakdown 6 years ago, easily the worst time of my life. I was obsessed that my wife was going to die, so would follow her to work and wait outside until she finished, every day for months. I developed severe OCD, and would wash my hands until they bled, I would need to have my food tested in case it was poisoned, and I would have horrible thoughts that still continue to this day, i check the door about 100 times every time i leave the house, plus so many other things. I have around 200 scars on my arms from where I have cut myself whilst in a panic. And have attempted suicide several times.
I am better now, although not fully recovered. I'm on lots of medication and get Psychiatric and Psychological care, and am now back working. The government doesn't see me as disabled however, so I don't get DLA, so barely scrape by a living. The NHS saved my life, without tha I wouldn't be here.
I had a nervous breakdown 6 years ago, easily the worst time of my life. I was obsessed that my wife was going to die, so would follow her to work and wait outside until she finished, every day for months. I developed severe OCD, and would wash my hands until they bled, I would need to have my food tested in case it was poisoned, and I would have horrible thoughts that still continue to this day. I have around 200 scars on my arms from where I have cut myself whilst in a panic. And have attempted suicide several times.
I am better now, although not fully recovered. I'm on lots of medication and get Psychiatric and Psychological care, and am now back working. The government doesn't see me as disabled however, so I don't get DLA, so barely scrape by a living. The NHS saved my life, without tha I wouldn't be here.
The last 5 years since I developed M.E. have been the worst. My friends faded away and now I basically just exist alone and forgotten, another statistic for the Department of Work of Pensions. These 5 years have brought no joy, just unrelenting sickness. I would give anything to feel well again.
I have just probably come out of the worst time of my life so far. I left school in 2009 and applied for a psychology course at the college, I didn't really enjoy it so dropped out thinking maybe I needed some time to grow up a little. Started working for a shop from early 2010, it didn't work out again. Then I couldn't find a job and it felt like I was stuck and going nowhere fast. I would fall asleep at around 2 in the morning and wake up around 12 in the afternoon, which probably sounds like bliss to some but after a while it became annoying as I would waste most of the day at home doing nothing. I couldn't find a job so went on JSA. I applied for college again but just missed the deadline, my friends seemed to be living their lives but I felt like I was stuck and I didn't want to tell anyone, and it felt like I was screaming on the inside and I couldn't let it out. I started have dark thoughts, like would anyone really care if I killed myself. This went on until about April this year when I applied for college again and got accepted, I am not enjoying the course, however it did help me realise that no matter how bad things could get, I will always have options.I am a lot more positive about things now and probably feel the best I have since 2007/08. I have rewrote my CV and sending it out to places of work and I am thinking about applying for the army or royal marines next.
Reading this thread is up there, who knew that so many people on the internet would have mental issues?
The worst time of my life was the moment I decided that I would have to leave my wife. I'm not going into specifics, but let's just say that I left her because if I didn't she would have been miserable for a very long time. I don't regret leaving her, I know it was the right thing to do, but that split second when I realised it was the only way, well that was really shit.
The last 5 years since I developed M.E. have been the worst. My friends faded away and now I basically just exist alone and forgotten, another statistic for the Department of Work of Pensions. These 5 years have brought no joy, just unrelenting sickness. I would give anything to feel well again.
I know how you feel. I've had ME for 16 years, I have no friends either. ME is what caused my nervous breakdown.
Hang in there though. Things can improve.
I believe ME is caused by something else, and is a self perpetuating set of symptoms. Keep chasing it up at the doctors. I've yet to find the cause for mine, but I still hope that I will one day and can go back to normal.
It was about 4 years ago started off me being woken up by bailiffs at my door demanding I leave then and there I lost my home had to go through a court case as the company my mum had mortage with broke terms and conditions ,by time we won the case the house had been sold and we lost over £100k on sale so had to start again.
I moved somewhere on temp basis where I was mugged and started to suffer insomnia depression we moved 6 month later , where one morning I thought wow real painfull period turns out I was having a miscarriage which was shocking as I was on pill and we used protection . From this I felt so lost and as I was coming around to being me my mum died suddenly no illness or warning , I had to break in and I found her body I was happy though that her friend rang me as I know she was missed within 12hrs of last being seen , she had been out for meal night before and as she was not seen by midday people were worried. After her death it took a year to have a certificate given and even that was natural causes as no reason was found so no real answers.
This year I have had health issues which has changed my life alot BUT even though I have gone through more in the last 4 years of my 26 yr life than some go through in a lifetime I still smile as I know people are worse off from me and each one of my events have shown me how many people I have to care for me and the happy memories we shared.
I had to start completely again it was scary but I sure as hell know what I want from life now
It was about 4 years ago started off me being woken up by bailiffs at my door demanding I leave then and there I lost my home had to go through a court case as the company my mum had mortage with broke terms and conditions ,by time we won the case the house had been sold and we lost over £100k on sale so had to start again.
I moved somewhere on temp basis where I was mugged and started to suffer insomnia depression we moved 6 month later , where one morning I thought wow real painfull period turns out I was having a miscarriage which was shocking as I was on pill and we used protection . From this I felt so lost and as I was coming around to being me my mum died suddenly no illness or warning , I had to break in and I found her body I was happy though that her friend rang me as I know she was missed within 12hrs of last being seen , she had been out for meal night before and as she was not seen by midday people were worried. After her death it took a year to have a certificate given and even that was natural causes as no reason was found so no real answers.
This year I have had health issues which has changed my life alot BUT even though I have gone through more in the last 4 years of my 26 yr life than some go through in a lifetime I still smile as I know people are worse off from me and each one of my events have shown me how many people I have to care for me and the happy memories we shared.
I had to start completely again it was scary but I sure as hell know what I want from life now
Thats exactly what used to help me, knowing that (sadly) there are lots of people going through tougher times, and you needed to be strong and try not let anything get you down.
Well done on the big change around what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger eh?
Have a lovely Christmas!
x o x
Seeing my mother rot away for 3 years with cancer (especially in the final 6months when we were told there was nowt they could do for her), thought i was ok for the first year after her death then bang, started suffering with my nerves,going out at times when i wouldn't run into people i knew more or less disconnected from family. hopefully now on the mend.
My husband started suffering with depression, then became totally delusional. Over a period of about 5 months I tried to get the GP and other doctors to see how ill he was, but it took that long until he became psychotic and had to be sectioned. He managed to successfully appeal against the section..came home, tried to kill himself...back in hospital again.
Then, when he seemed a bit better, out again only to go missing.
He's home again now, and seems to be slowly recovering, heavily medicated and not 'himself'. But I'm struggling with anxiety and stress that it might all kick off again.
Sorry, reading your experiences has humbled me, and helped me to realise that that things could be SO much worse.
My husband started suffering with depression, then became totally delusional. Over a period of about 5 months I tried to get the GP and other doctors to see how ill he was, but it took that long until he became psychotic and had to be sectioned. He managed to successfully appeal against the section..came home, tried to kill himself...back in hospital again.
Then, when he seemed a bit better, out again only to go missing.
He's home again now, and seems to be slowly recovering, heavily medicated and not 'himself'. But I'm struggling with anxiety and stress that it might all kick off again.
Sorry, reading your experiences has humbled me, and helped me to realise that that things could be SO much worse.
I'm sorry to hear your husband has been having a rough time. I can sort of understand...but I'm the one who is ill and my husband has looked after me while I've panicked, tried to self harm, drove me to hospital and drove after me when I ran out of the house etc.
I just wanted to say that it's often the carer in these situations who needs supporting too. I hope you have help for yourself also. It is so very hard but coming through the other side I can see how much my wonderful husband has done for me and it is slowly bringing us closer together. I truly hope this can happen for you too xx
When I was 15 my Dad was diagnosed with cancer... found him collapsed in the bathroom with blood everywhere from an ulcer bursting in his stomach... three months later he died. Shortly after that me and my sister were involved in a car accident which has left me with metal inserted into my leg and arm due to the severity of the breaks and a six week hospital stay. Slowly spiralled into depression, but it took two years from the car accident to finally be diagnosed with depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress which had resulted in me cutting myself off completely from friends, quitting my university course and having panic attacks when trying to attend a new course.
Although I have had therapy to deal with this, its now... six years on and I still have moments where i'm not 100% but take each day as it comes and try to be positive.
Comments
Things got better of course and in a way those experiences have helped me to recognise when I am slipping moodwise again and that makes it easier to get through.
July 2011, After about a year or so of bad pain in my stomach/ovary area (Doctors didn't know what it was and thought perhaps IBS) If my mum hadn't suggested a scan then I don't know what would have happend. The friday before I was due to go in on the Monday, I woke Friday early morning with the worst pain I have felt and was taken to hospital about 5am. at 10am I was sent for an ultrasound and they said it was ovarian cyst and to go back to the ward. At 2:00 2 doctors came in and told me I was having to have an operation. I was pretty young at the time 17 and this was my first operation. By 4 o'clock I was having an operation to remove it.
This was followed by a person (who was alot older than me 38) in my college class (who knew I had been ill since my attendance was bad) harassing me and asking all the details for serveral months afterwards.
I would never wish an ovarian cyst on anyone.
Worst thing to happen to me was back in 2002, living in Cardiff in my late teens and I was walking home from a late shift as a trainee nurse assistant and was horribly attacked under a subway by a gang of youths. Beaten, mugged and hit with a wooden post. I spent 2 days in hospital, and countless interviews at the police station. During the months it took for the police to do something about it - I somehow (tho terrified) found the strength to keep going to my job, and to also work part-time in my local grocery store, 2 min walk from where i lived. One night, as we were getting ready to lock up and leave the shop - the same gang pulled the outer metal shutter down, threatening to burn the place down, calling me a 'grass' - was absolutly terrified, horrific phobia of fire!
Anyways, finally ended up in court - the main ring leader was given a 18 month banning order from coming near me, and i was awarded compensation: £30. What a joke.
I dont think I'll ever get over it fully. It took me years of building my confidence back up, and facing the fear of going out alone.. but it'll always be there you know? whenever i see a gang i just feel that pang in my tummy. I now live in Cheshire, have a lovely fiancé and get about with no problems on my own - even travel to Cardiff on my own on the train! Get me! =D
Sending all those who have suffered - with whatever - big 'be strong' hugs
things finally came to a head when I had a massive hemorrhage and finally the NHS realised something very serious was going on.Went to a hospital in london and they found out I had this rare strain of illness not normally seen in this part of the world mostly in Asia etc.
Its left me with lifelong problems because they failed to diagnose me.The only thing that keeps me sane Ive been told by the hospitals in london because of the information they learned how this can affect people outside Asia its helped diagnose a lot more people who would no doubt have gone through the same thing and Treatment Regimes that can help
2nd time was just last summer, my marriage fell apart and I found myself living in a homeless shelter with an alcohol and crack addiction to feed. And also doing smoking weed on a regular basis. Thankfully this only lasted for around 3 months and I pulled myself out of it again.
I am better now, although not fully recovered. I'm on lots of medication and get Psychiatric and Psychological care, and am now back working. The government doesn't see me as disabled however, so I don't get DLA, so barely scrape by a living. The NHS saved my life, without tha I wouldn't be here.
I can sympathies with a lot of that
On a smaller scale mind. So sorry for your ordeal
It's okay
I appreciate the thought.
I have come to terms with it now, and I realise everyone has their own problems.
The worst time of my life was the moment I decided that I would have to leave my wife. I'm not going into specifics, but let's just say that I left her because if I didn't she would have been miserable for a very long time. I don't regret leaving her, I know it was the right thing to do, but that split second when I realised it was the only way, well that was really shit.
I know how you feel. I've had ME for 16 years, I have no friends either. ME is what caused my nervous breakdown.
Hang in there though. Things can improve.
I believe ME is caused by something else, and is a self perpetuating set of symptoms. Keep chasing it up at the doctors. I've yet to find the cause for mine, but I still hope that I will one day and can go back to normal.
I moved somewhere on temp basis where I was mugged and started to suffer insomnia depression we moved 6 month later , where one morning I thought wow real painfull period turns out I was having a miscarriage which was shocking as I was on pill and we used protection . From this I felt so lost and as I was coming around to being me my mum died suddenly no illness or warning , I had to break in and I found her body I was happy though that her friend rang me as I know she was missed within 12hrs of last being seen , she had been out for meal night before and as she was not seen by midday people were worried. After her death it took a year to have a certificate given and even that was natural causes as no reason was found so no real answers.
This year I have had health issues which has changed my life alot BUT even though I have gone through more in the last 4 years of my 26 yr life than some go through in a lifetime I still smile as I know people are worse off from me and each one of my events have shown me how many people I have to care for me and the happy memories we shared.
I had to start completely again it was scary but I sure as hell know what I want from life now
I just soldiered on.
Thats exactly what used to help me, knowing that (sadly) there are lots of people going through tougher times, and you needed to be strong and try not let anything get you down.
Well done on the big change around
Have a lovely Christmas!
x o x
Then, when he seemed a bit better, out again only to go missing.
He's home again now, and seems to be slowly recovering, heavily medicated and not 'himself'. But I'm struggling with anxiety and stress that it might all kick off again.
Sorry, reading your experiences has humbled me, and helped me to realise that that things could be SO much worse.
I'm sorry to hear your husband has been having a rough time. I can sort of understand...but I'm the one who is ill and my husband has looked after me while I've panicked, tried to self harm, drove me to hospital and drove after me when I ran out of the house etc.
I just wanted to say that it's often the carer in these situations who needs supporting too. I hope you have help for yourself also. It is so very hard but coming through the other side I can see how much my wonderful husband has done for me and it is slowly bringing us closer together. I truly hope this can happen for you too
Although I have had therapy to deal with this, its now... six years on and I still have moments where i'm not 100% but take each day as it comes and try to be positive.