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Apple thief

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    trevor tigertrevor tiger Posts: 37,996
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    Chop the tree down and pave the garden over. That'll soon put a stop to it.
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    Rab64Rab64 Posts: 1,296
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    Why not pick them all yourself, and store them
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    plateletplatelet Posts: 26,387
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    Rich_L wrote: »
    Can they climb trees?

    nope but they can bite the butt of someone climbing down a ladder :D
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    eveningstareveningstar Posts: 19,015
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    If the wife didn't ask where he got apples at midnight she must be a shameless two bit brass. I understand there's a few of those on the loose so hope she's not going to corrupt your Geraldine.
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    Addisonian wrote: »
    Did Geraldine enjoy the pie?

    She said it was ok but she doesn't know it was made with stolen apples.
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    Did you go outside and ask what he was up to?
    (26 so far!)
    Would you do anything with all the apples yourself?

    My neighbour has an apple tree that is incredibly fruitful.
    She just lets them drop and rot.
    Such a waste.

    No, it was the middle of the night. I didn't know if he was armed or not. I read about a Have A Go Hero recently who got stabbed by a burglar.
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    NormandieNormandie Posts: 4,617
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    mo mouse wrote: »
    At first, I wasn't too bothered but last summer, I saw him up a ladder in my garden in the middle of the night and he was putting them into a Tesco carrier bag.
    mo mouse wrote: »
    No, it was the middle of the night. I didn't know if was armed or not. I read about a Have A Go Hero recently who got stabbed by a burglar.
    Hang on, I remember you from another thread... you're a fairly harmless wum...
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    If the wife didn't ask where he got apples at midnight she must be a shameless two bit brass. I understand there's a few of those on the loose so hope she's not going to corrupt your Geraldine.

    I think it's likely that his wife knows he does it. The way they look at me out of their window when I leave for work isn't very nice.
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    edExedEx Posts: 13,460
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    When he's not looking go round and saw about half a metre off his ladder. He'll think eating all those apples is causing him to shrink.

    Or inject the apples with oestrogen so that he grows boobs. That'll teach him.
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    bri160356bri160356 Posts: 5,147
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    mo mouse wrote: »
    I think it's likely that his wife knows he does it. The way they look at me out of their window when I leave for work isn't very nice.

    That just makes my blood boil, Mo. It’s well out of order! >:(

    I bet they’re eating your apples when they look at you through the window as well.........probably get a kick out of it, the degenerate swine’s.
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    bri160356 wrote: »
    That just makes my blood boil, Mo. It’s well out of order! >:(

    I bet they’re eating your apples when they look at you through the window as well.........probably get a kick out of it, the degenerate swine’s.

    Thanks Bri. Appreciate it.
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    lozengerlozenger Posts: 4,881
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    mo mouse wrote: »
    Are you being serious ?

    Of course! Why wouldnt I be :confused:

    I saw it on River Cottage - Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall caught rabbits stealing his carrots in the same manner.
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    eveningstareveningstar Posts: 19,015
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    Living next door to hardened criminals like these can't be easy. I don't want to be overdramatic here Mo, but have you considered hired assassins?
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    JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    Living next door to hardened criminals like these can't be easy. I don't want to be overdramatic here Mo, but have you considered hired assassins?

    Sound advice. Sounds like it's time to bring out the big guns, Mo. Literally.

    How did the decorating go, by the way? Did you manage to grout the wallpaper?
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    Living next door to hardened criminals like these can't be easy. I don't want to be overdramatic here Mo, but have you considered hired assassins?

    Now I know you're pulling my leg.
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    JulesF wrote: »
    Sound advice. Sounds like it's time to bring out the big guns, Mo. Literally.

    How did the decorating go, by the way? Did you manage to grout the wallpaper?

    Thanks. No, I did a bit of reading up on it and grouting is only for tiles in the bathroom. I eventually finished the wallpapering and it doesn't look too bad.
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    ACL777ACL777 Posts: 1,665
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    I hope you get the situation sorted. This is the best thread I have ever read. Your neighbours steal your apples in the middle of the night and then bake a pie with your apples and give it to you and Geraldine (who I guess is your wife) who doesnt know about the apple thefts. To top it off when you leave for work your thieving neighbours give you evil looks from behind thier net curtains every morning. Its like a tale from "ever decreasing circles".
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    ACL777 wrote: »
    I hope you get the situation sorted. This is the best thread I have ever read. Your neighbours steal your apples in the middle of the night and then bake a pie with your apples and give it to you and Geraldine (who I guess is your wife) who doesnt know about the apple thefts. To top it off when you leave for work your thieving neighbours give you evil looks from behind thier net curtains every morning. Its like a tale from "ever decreasing circles".

    Well, that's pretty much what has been happening. Another point is that I saw them both in the supermarket a while back and when they got to the bit where the fruit is, they walked straight past the apples without buying any. They bought oranges and bananas though so that kind of proves my point if I did have to go to court.
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    ACL777ACL777 Posts: 1,665
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    Brilliant detective work.
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    UffaUffa Posts: 1,910
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    If you need witnesses mo you can count on us. :)
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    ACL777ACL777 Posts: 1,665
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    Why don't you speak to Geraldine about it. From what I have read you have yet to sit her down and explain the ghastly situation.
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    ACL777 wrote: »
    Why don't you speak to Geraldine about it. From what I have read you have yet to sit her down and explain the ghastly situation.

    She's a bit highly strung to be honest so I don't want to worry her.
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    gdjman68wasdigigdjman68wasdigi Posts: 21,705
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    so clearly this didnt happen then

    i love DS sometimes
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    iCandy77iCandy77 Posts: 1,457
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    so clearly this didnt happen then

    i love DS sometimes

    Haha! Right enough!

    I wonder if this is the same fictional neighbour who asked him to be his fictional best man?! Lets see where mo takes the story from there...!!
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    mo mousemo mouse Posts: 38,764
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    iCandy77 wrote: »
    Haha! Right enough!

    I wonder if this is the same fictional neighbour who asked him to be his fictional best man?! Lets see where mo takes the story from there...!!

    No, that's the neighbour on the other side at number 57.
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