I turned down an invite to my cousins wedding (which was cancelled a few days later) and it caused a lot of friction in the family. I just couldnt justify having a day off work and travelling there for just the reception.
My other cousins wedding im not going to. Similar situation really with it being a week day and also the travelling and the length of it. Again certain family members have gotten a bit stressed out about it but you arent obliged to go to weddings.
People shouldnt be expected to go just because they are invited but some couples dont seem to accept it and nor do their families. Its much harder to say no sometimes than it is to just go.
Years ago, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It was in a 5 star country hotel about 50 miles away from my house. She then informed me that bridesmaids all had to be there the night before for the pre wedding dinner at our own cost. She then told me I'd have to pay for my own dress, which she would buy and send me the bill for. All in all, her wedding would have cost me, personally, the best part of £500. When I politely declined, she told me I wouldn't be invited to her wedding then and hasn't spoken to me since.
I turned down an invite to my cousins wedding (which was cancelled a few days later) and it caused a lot of friction in the family. I just couldnt justify having a day off work and travelling there for just the reception.
My other cousins wedding im not going to. Similar situation really with it being a week day and also the travelling and the length of it. Again certain family members have gotten a bit stressed out about it but you arent obliged to go to weddings.
People shouldnt be expected to go just because they are invited but some couples dont seem to accept it and nor do their families. Its much harder to say no sometimes than it is to just go.
Wedding guest lists seem to cause problems in all sorts of ways... People getting upset if you turn down an invitation, people getting upset if they don't get invited, people getting upset if it's no kids allowed.
Weddings are a time when I think that the couple have a right to be selfish and invite who they want and screw anyone who isn't happy with that, but at the same time they need to not be so self-obsessed as to take offence at people turning down an invitation.
And it's only harder to say no if you care what other people think about your decision, if you can't make it to the wedding for whatever reason (or if you just don't want to go) then saying no is actually pretty simple.
Most of my friends and family are unmarried, I'm in my mid 30s and have yet to experience the spate of weddings that other people of my age seem to.
I do have one friend getting married next year and her plan is to hire a cottage in Cornwall for 2 weeks - they'll have the wedding on the middle weekend and basically people can come for as long or as short a time as they like...Family will be paid for and staying in the cottage but the rest of us will need to find a local hotel.
I've told her (as diplomatically as possible) that there is no way on God's Earth I can afford to get myself and two kids to Cornwall, not even for a night. I suppose I could leave kids at home with OH but the expense to get myself there and back along with accommodation is still very high considering I'll be on maternity leave and earning a pittance.
It's all well and good to have there elaborate ideas about your wedding but you have to accept the fact that not everyone can afford the time and money to celebrate your big day.
My BIL and his partner will also be getting married next year and it will be in Spain. They've already said they'll pay for family (they are very wealthy and would want OH and the kids there - I am just part of the package ). That's slightly different though, as they aren't expecting people to fork out masses for their wedding. They are enabling the people they want to be there to attend.
Years ago, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It was in a 5 star country hotel about 50 miles away from my house. She then informed me that bridesmaids all had to be there the night before for the pre wedding dinner at our own cost. She then told me I'd have to pay for my own dress, which she would buy and send me the bill for. All in all, her wedding would have cost me, personally, the best part of £500. When I politely declined, she told me I wouldn't be invited to her wedding then and hasn't spoken to me since.
This is part of the reason why weddings can be very expensive. We paid for our closest guests stays and for the bridesmaids dresses and groomsmens suit hire.
Years ago, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It was in a 5 star country hotel about 50 miles away from my house. She then informed me that bridesmaids all had to be there the night before for the pre wedding dinner at our own cost. She then told me I'd have to pay for my own dress, which she would buy and send me the bill for. All in all, her wedding would have cost me, personally, the best part of £500. When I politely declined, she told me I wouldn't be invited to her wedding then and hasn't spoken to me since.
What it is about weddings that makes usually calm and rational people selfish, demanding and oblivious to real life.
The "no kids invited" thing seems to be a modern phenomenon. I attended my first wedding at about 18 months old, then another at 6, and went to countless evening receptions as a child, there were always other children there. Now it seems that either only the children of the couple are invited, or children who are bridesmaids/pageboys. I've even been to a few wedding over the past few years where there have been no children at all in attendance, I find that really sad for some reason.
Why has it suddenly become acceptable to exclude kids from the celebrations?
The "no kids invited" thing seems to be a modern phenomenon. I attended my first wedding at about 18 months old, then another at 6, and went to countless evening receptions as a child, there were always other children there. Now it seems that either only the children of the couple are invited, or children who are bridesmaids/pageboys. I've even been to a few wedding over the past few years where there have been no children at all in attendance, I find that really sad for some reason.
Why has it suddenly become acceptable to exclude kids from the celebrations?
Probably because some parents find it acceptable to let kids scream/cry/run up and down the aisle during the most important moment of a person's life.
You disappoint me, Mr epicurian. I was hoping for a more stereotypical response like 'limey son-of-a-bitch' from yourself and 'con' from J-F.
Con is a bit strong M'sieu Bickle, by your posts you seem a reasonable guy.
How about fils de salope,? or Blaireau? Un Blaireau is a badger, but the word also substitutes as something like 'moron'.
I may have gone for tete de noeud, but the first e in tete needs a circumflex over it, and I can't do that on this iPad
The last thing I need is a grammar nazi from the Academie francaise, (which needs an acute accent over the first e in Academie, and a cedilla under the c in francaise), kicking the door down and demanding to see my papers.
Probably because some parents find it acceptable to let kids scream/cry/run up and down the aisle during the most important moment of a person's life.
Some, but not all.
I went to a family wedding a few years ago where someone had to turn down the invitation for both the day and night due to not having any childcare because all of the babysitters they'd use in any other circumstances were at the wedding! The bride and groom were very rigid and refused point blank to budge on their "no children" rule, even for the night do. They knew the circumstances as well. It pissed off a lot of people in the family who thought there were out of order and mean spirited, and I know it's changed my opinion of them greatly as well.
Probably because some parents find it acceptable to let kids scream/cry/run up and down the aisle during the most important moment of a person's life.
I have absolutely NO desire to get into a kids okay/kids not okay argument, but, I have been to many weddings back home in France where kids are there at the reception, and in the church or mairie.
Often at the reception, a table is set up exclusively for the kids, where they'll sit and eat their dinner, dessert, cakes, whatever, some of the 12 - 14 year olds will be allowed one glass of wine too.
Often this kids table will be in the centre of the room or hall, surrounded by the adults tables, where the parents can cast a baleful eye if little Guillaume looks like he may be starting to act up.
Also the kids can see their parents and plead, "Maman, Papa, je veux quelque chose."
"Mum, Dad, I want something."
Any kid who looks like he or she may want to run around will be turned to stone by one look from their mothers, but the same mothers will dance with them when the music starts, and no kid, not one, will EVER get a smack.
I went to a family wedding a few years ago where someone had to turn down the invitation for both the day and night due to not having any childcare because all of the babysitters they'd use in any other circumstances were at the wedding! The bride and groom were very rigid and refused point blank to budge on their "no children" rule, even for the night do. They knew the circumstances as well. It pissed off a lot of people in the family who thought there were out of order and mean spirited, and I know it's changed my opinion of them greatly as well.
Yes some but not all, however you often won't know if any of your guests fall into that "some" until they're allowing their child to ruin your day.
The bride and groom in your example probably refused to budge because they didn't want to deal with the moaning that would come from all the other people who hadn't been able to bring their children to the wedding. The bride and groom clearly didn't want the person there enough to change their rule and that is completely their prerogative.
It's not mean-spirited and it's not worthy of changing your opinion of someone... It was their wedding and it was their decision who they wanted there. It's not about you, or the person who couldn't make it, or any other members of the family - it's about the happy couple having the day that they want.
I prefer weddings where no kids are allowed... I get to let my hair down and enjoy myself without having to worry about being responsible for 2 children, and when my kids ask why I didn't take them I get to blame someone else. Win-win situation
Yes some but not all, however you often won't know if any of your guests fall into that "some" until they're allowing their child to ruin your day.
The bride and groom in your example probably refused to budge because they didn't want to deal with the moaning that would come from all the other people who hadn't been able to bring their children to the wedding. The bride and groom clearly didn't want the person there enough to change their rule and that is completely their prerogative.
It's not mean-spirited and it's not worthy of changing your opinion of someone... It was their wedding and it was their decision who they wanted there. It's not about you, or the person who couldn't make it, or any other members of the family - it's about the happy couple having the day that they want.
I prefer weddings where no kids are allowed... I get to let my hair down and enjoy myself without having to worry about being responsible for 2 children, and when my kids ask why I didn't take them I get to blame someone else. Win-win situation
I just think it's a bit sad. When I was growing up weddings were about family and fun, now they are all about out doing each other,, who has the best venue/dress/cars/presents etc. They seem to bring out the very worst in people as well, please don't get me started on gift lists or those silly poems asking for money!
I just think it's a bit sad. When I was growing up weddings were about family and fun, now they are all about out doing each other,, who has the best venue/dress/cars/presents etc. They seem to bring out the very worst in people as well, please don't get me started on gift lists or those silly poems asking for money!
But really and truly they should be about the couple and the happiness of the couple... And if that happiness comes from having a night of fun with no children there then so be it.
It doesn't have to be about oudoing each-other... Some people have small weddings that are child-free. Some people have a child-free wedding purely because they're having a small wedding and want to fill their limited space / use their limited budget on as many of their friends as possible, not a few of their friends and their kids.
I don't see anything wrong with a gift-list as long as it caters for those on a tight budget too... Better to get something you want and will use than to have guests waste money on a present that you have no need or desire for.
The poems asking for money are a bit cheesy though, better to just be direct and say that you want donations.
They had big weddings in the 70s too you know. And there are plenty of low-key weddings nowadays. Weddings are different, depending on what couples want. I don't think things have actually changed much, have they?
I fully agree with this.
When my uncle and aunt married in 1979, the wedding was so lavish that it was quite overwhelming. A wedding breakfast at a five-star hotel, then a cathedral wedding and a wedding reception at the same hotel, then a morning breakfast before seeing the couple off for their honeymoon.
His wife's younger sister married two years later, and it was a simple affair. A local church wedding, then an open-air wedding dinner in the back garden of their parents' home.
Con is a bit strong M'sieu Bickle, by your posts you seem a reasonable guy.
How about fils de salope,? or Blaireau? Un Blaireau is a badger, but the word also substitutes as something like 'moron'.
I may have gone for tete de noeud, but the first e in tete needs a circumflex over it, and I can't do that on this iPad
The last thing I need is a grammar nazi from the Academie francaise, (which needs an acute accent over the first e in Academie, and a cedilla under the c in francaise), kicking the door down and demanding to see my papers.
:D:D
Well, firstly, many thanks for introducing me to some new French swearwords - blaireau, who'd have thought it, eh? I always feel you guys are in the vanguard of European swearing, although I fear the Germans will continue to lead the field in this vital aspect of our culture.
As for your problèmes with reflecting French letters (no sniggering at the back) correctly on the ipad, have you tried holding the key in question? You should find the various options appear above and can be sélèçted.
I dunno why so many on DS are so willing to go back to 70's and 80's land.
I mean going back to granny's house for a spread after a wedding?? Hahah don't make me laugh. I'm not into all that commitment BS or nice principles about "life long marriages". Leave that crap to the daily mail and conservatives.
So if I have a wedding it will be an upmarket affair with a bit of class and suave for my enjoyment.
Erm, why are you bothering to get married if it is not for life? By the way, 'suave' is an adjective, not a noun. My sympathy goes to your future 'bride'.
I dunno why so many on DS are so willing to go back to 70's and 80's land.
I mean going back to granny's house for a spread after a wedding?? Hahah don't make me laugh. I'm not into all that commitment BS or nice principles about "life long marriages". Leave that crap to the daily mail and conservatives.
So if I have a wedding it will be an upmarket affair with a bit of class and suave for my enjoyment.
BIB - Surely the whole point of getting married is to make a life long commitment to the person you love?
And that is exactly why I'll be having a big flashy wedding. I only intend to get married once and therefore I want it be something spectacular, a once in a lifetime event. Not a spread at granny's house or a buffet in a hired hall, that's the kind of party I would put on for a child's birthday or some other regular celebration.
However for couples that do want that sort of wedding, good for them and I hope they have fabulous days that they fondly remember for the rest of their lives. Hearing people criticise those who choose to have bigger weddings is getting tiresome though.
I dunno why so many on DS are so willing to go back to 70's and 80's land.
I mean going back to granny's house for a spread after a wedding?? Hahah don't make me laugh. I'm not into all that commitment BS or nice principles about "life long marriages". Leave that crap to the daily mail and conservatives.
So if I have a wedding it will be an upmarket affair with a bit of class and suave for my enjoyment.
My, what a catch you will be for some lucky person. But good luck with your suave wedding.
Years ago, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It was in a 5 star country hotel about 50 miles away from my house. She then informed me that bridesmaids all had to be there the night before for the pre wedding dinner at our own cost. She then told me I'd have to pay for my own dress, which she would buy and send me the bill for. All in all, her wedding would have cost me, personally, the best part of £500. When I politely declined, she told me I wouldn't be invited to her wedding then and hasn't spoken to me since.
You can see why people talk about Bridezillas. I have heard of pending brides stamping their pretty feet and dictating their parents' choice of clothes, their in-laws choice of clothes, demanding that the fortunate bridesmaids buy hand tailored dresses and going almost mad with greed over the present list.
The "no kids invited" thing seems to be a modern phenomenon. I attended my first wedding at about 18 months old, then another at 6, and went to countless evening receptions as a child, there were always other children there. Now it seems that either only the children of the couple are invited, or children who are bridesmaids/pageboys. I've even been to a few wedding over the past few years where there have been no children at all in attendance, I find that really sad for some reason.
Why has it suddenly become acceptable to exclude kids from the celebrations?
I think the whole atmosphere of wedding changed when it stopped being assumed (or pretended ) that the couple had not yet had sex. The old fashioned tradition of saying goodbye to the bride and groom after the family reception was based on the idea that they were longing to be alone together. Now we are probably safer to assume that they would far rather have a big flashy party with all their friends, and be treated as king and queen for the duration. I can't remember anyone ever dreaming of excluding children from the kind of church-and-dinner wedding of my youth, but if we are talking stately homes and classy themed receptions, children can come to strike people has nothing but noisy nuisances. I have seen someone on here bleating that pushchairs would ruin their wedding photographs; heaven help any friend or family member of that person who needs to use a wheelchair. I think it is a shame myself; but I still see weddings as a fundamental rite of passage and the union of two families, and think that children, as well as one's less ornamental uncles and aunts, are part of the deal.
I just think it's a bit sad. When I was growing up weddings were about family and fun, now they are all about out doing each other,, who has the best venue/dress/cars/presents etc. They seem to bring out the very worst in people as well, please don't get me started on gift lists or those silly poems asking for money!
Yes, I completely agree with you.
What is a wedding if not a celebration of family and friendship? We seem to be turning so many things into flashy, vulgar displays of excess. School discos replaced by Americanised 'proms', hen and stag parties characterised by being expensive. We are losing something here.
Well, firstly, many thanks for introducing me to some new French swearwords - blaireau, who'd have thought it, eh? I always feel you guys are in the vanguard of European swearing, although I fear the Germans will continue to lead the field in this vital aspect of our culture.
As for your problèmes with reflecting French letters (no sniggering at the back) correctly on the ipad, have you tried holding the key in question? You should find the various options appear above and can be sélèçted.
Posted from my ipâd.
Zut alors! Je serai l'oncle d'un singe! It works, it works!
I knew how to do it on an iMac, but I'd never tried it on the iPad.
Merci mon ami.
Don't see the point. It seems like an utter waste of what is these days mostly mummy and daddy's money. It just seems like an excuse to show off and flash the cash.
Our wedding was nice but not over the top and everybody says how it was the best wedding they have ever been to. We did/made most of the things ourself and hired a ceilidh band so everyone got up dancing and mingling instead of sitting bored and listening to the usual crap disco. Instead of a fancy evening buffet we had posh chip cones and bacon and sausage butties. We held it in an oak timbered and glass barn style function room overlooking a golf course. They had fairy lights and it looked magical. The whole wedding came in just under £3k which is still more than I would have liked to have spent.
We cut back on stuff like wedding cars which seemed a waste seeing as the wedding and reception took place in one venue so who was gonna see it anyway? Instead we decorated our cars with ribbon and bows and got our dads to drive us. We didn't bother dressing the chairs and putting bows on them as we thought again it was a total waste and also I think they look twee and aren't as comfortable to sit on. We had friends to do things like flower arranging and bought or made all the table decorations ourselves, made personalised favours and printed our own invites. I got a friend who's a toastmaster who by chance also does magic and is a kids entertainer so guests were entertained with table magic after the daytime meal and another friend who's an excellent amateur photographer. Instead of champagne for the toasts, the venue allowed us to buy our own for a small corkage price per bottle. However the venue didn't stipulate how big the bottles could be so we bought a case of those 3ltr bottles of Aldi lambrini copy and there was hardly anyone who didn't finish their glass unlike other weddings we've been to where hardly anyone likes the taste of champagne and half of it gets thrown away. The couple who's Karaoke we go to every week also run a flower shop so she supplied our flowers and button holes at cost price and arranged them for us for free as a wedding present and he ended the night with an hour of disco after the band had finished. Our biggest cost was the caterers, venue hire and my wife's dress which she had no option but to have custom made.
Personally if it was up to me I'd have said sod the lot of you and gone to Florida and got married on Miami beach with just close family and spent the money on ourselves but it was a great day and I'm not just saying that because it was our weeding. We've been to loads of weddings that have all been the same. Drab function room with buffet followed by a naff disco and people just sit around bored. Nobody was bored at our wedding as there was something for everyone.
£29 in a registry office. £20 from gran for sandwiches. Cheap £10 dress from what everyone wants shop. Friend gave me a hat and her dad took the four of us there, he even put ribbons on the car. 5th January 1990. Yes we are still together. Spending large amounts on a wedding has nothing to do with people splitting up the same as going cheap. It's the people. If you can afford then go for it
I do think some people like the idea of a big flashy wedding more than the marriage itself.
Comments
Years ago, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It was in a 5 star country hotel about 50 miles away from my house. She then informed me that bridesmaids all had to be there the night before for the pre wedding dinner at our own cost. She then told me I'd have to pay for my own dress, which she would buy and send me the bill for. All in all, her wedding would have cost me, personally, the best part of £500. When I politely declined, she told me I wouldn't be invited to her wedding then and hasn't spoken to me since.
Wedding guest lists seem to cause problems in all sorts of ways... People getting upset if you turn down an invitation, people getting upset if they don't get invited, people getting upset if it's no kids allowed.
Weddings are a time when I think that the couple have a right to be selfish and invite who they want and screw anyone who isn't happy with that, but at the same time they need to not be so self-obsessed as to take offence at people turning down an invitation.
And it's only harder to say no if you care what other people think about your decision, if you can't make it to the wedding for whatever reason (or if you just don't want to go) then saying no is actually pretty simple.
I do have one friend getting married next year and her plan is to hire a cottage in Cornwall for 2 weeks - they'll have the wedding on the middle weekend and basically people can come for as long or as short a time as they like...Family will be paid for and staying in the cottage but the rest of us will need to find a local hotel.
I've told her (as diplomatically as possible) that there is no way on God's Earth I can afford to get myself and two kids to Cornwall, not even for a night. I suppose I could leave kids at home with OH but the expense to get myself there and back along with accommodation is still very high considering I'll be on maternity leave and earning a pittance.
It's all well and good to have there elaborate ideas about your wedding but you have to accept the fact that not everyone can afford the time and money to celebrate your big day.
My BIL and his partner will also be getting married next year and it will be in Spain. They've already said they'll pay for family (they are very wealthy and would want OH and the kids there - I am just part of the package
This is part of the reason why weddings can be very expensive. We paid for our closest guests stays and for the bridesmaids dresses and groomsmens suit hire.
What it is about weddings that makes usually calm and rational people selfish, demanding and oblivious to real life.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape.
Why has it suddenly become acceptable to exclude kids from the celebrations?
Probably because some parents find it acceptable to let kids scream/cry/run up and down the aisle during the most important moment of a person's life.
Con is a bit strong M'sieu Bickle, by your posts you seem a reasonable guy.
How about fils de salope,? or Blaireau? Un Blaireau is a badger, but the word also substitutes as something like 'moron'.
I may have gone for tete de noeud, but the first e in tete needs a circumflex over it, and I can't do that on this iPad
The last thing I need is a grammar nazi from the Academie francaise, (which needs an acute accent over the first e in Academie, and a cedilla under the c in francaise), kicking the door down and demanding to see my papers.
Some, but not all.
I went to a family wedding a few years ago where someone had to turn down the invitation for both the day and night due to not having any childcare because all of the babysitters they'd use in any other circumstances were at the wedding! The bride and groom were very rigid and refused point blank to budge on their "no children" rule, even for the night do. They knew the circumstances as well. It pissed off a lot of people in the family who thought there were out of order and mean spirited, and I know it's changed my opinion of them greatly as well.
I have absolutely NO desire to get into a kids okay/kids not okay argument, but, I have been to many weddings back home in France where kids are there at the reception, and in the church or mairie.
Often at the reception, a table is set up exclusively for the kids, where they'll sit and eat their dinner, dessert, cakes, whatever, some of the 12 - 14 year olds will be allowed one glass of wine too.
Often this kids table will be in the centre of the room or hall, surrounded by the adults tables, where the parents can cast a baleful eye if little Guillaume looks like he may be starting to act up.
Also the kids can see their parents and plead, "Maman, Papa, je veux quelque chose."
"Mum, Dad, I want something."
Any kid who looks like he or she may want to run around will be turned to stone by one look from their mothers, but the same mothers will dance with them when the music starts, and no kid, not one, will EVER get a smack.
Yes some but not all, however you often won't know if any of your guests fall into that "some" until they're allowing their child to ruin your day.
The bride and groom in your example probably refused to budge because they didn't want to deal with the moaning that would come from all the other people who hadn't been able to bring their children to the wedding. The bride and groom clearly didn't want the person there enough to change their rule and that is completely their prerogative.
It's not mean-spirited and it's not worthy of changing your opinion of someone... It was their wedding and it was their decision who they wanted there. It's not about you, or the person who couldn't make it, or any other members of the family - it's about the happy couple having the day that they want.
I prefer weddings where no kids are allowed... I get to let my hair down and enjoy myself without having to worry about being responsible for 2 children, and when my kids ask why I didn't take them I get to blame someone else. Win-win situation
I just think it's a bit sad. When I was growing up weddings were about family and fun, now they are all about out doing each other,, who has the best venue/dress/cars/presents etc. They seem to bring out the very worst in people as well, please don't get me started on gift lists or those silly poems asking for money!
But really and truly they should be about the couple and the happiness of the couple... And if that happiness comes from having a night of fun with no children there then so be it.
It doesn't have to be about oudoing each-other... Some people have small weddings that are child-free. Some people have a child-free wedding purely because they're having a small wedding and want to fill their limited space / use their limited budget on as many of their friends as possible, not a few of their friends and their kids.
I don't see anything wrong with a gift-list as long as it caters for those on a tight budget too... Better to get something you want and will use than to have guests waste money on a present that you have no need or desire for.
The poems asking for money are a bit cheesy though, better to just be direct and say that you want donations.
I fully agree with this.
When my uncle and aunt married in 1979, the wedding was so lavish that it was quite overwhelming. A wedding breakfast at a five-star hotel, then a cathedral wedding and a wedding reception at the same hotel, then a morning breakfast before seeing the couple off for their honeymoon.
His wife's younger sister married two years later, and it was a simple affair. A local church wedding, then an open-air wedding dinner in the back garden of their parents' home.
Well, firstly, many thanks for introducing me to some new French swearwords - blaireau, who'd have thought it, eh? I always feel you guys are in the vanguard of European swearing, although I fear the Germans will continue to lead the field in this vital aspect of our culture.
As for your problèmes with reflecting French letters (no sniggering at the back) correctly on the ipad, have you tried holding the key in question? You should find the various options appear above and can be sélèçted.
Posted from my ipâd.
Erm, why are you bothering to get married if it is not for life? By the way, 'suave' is an adjective, not a noun. My sympathy goes to your future 'bride'.
BIB - Surely the whole point of getting married is to make a life long commitment to the person you love?
And that is exactly why I'll be having a big flashy wedding. I only intend to get married once and therefore I want it be something spectacular, a once in a lifetime event. Not a spread at granny's house or a buffet in a hired hall, that's the kind of party I would put on for a child's birthday or some other regular celebration.
However for couples that do want that sort of wedding, good for them and I hope they have fabulous days that they fondly remember for the rest of their lives. Hearing people criticise those who choose to have bigger weddings is getting tiresome though.
I think the whole atmosphere of wedding changed when it stopped being assumed (or pretended ) that the couple had not yet had sex. The old fashioned tradition of saying goodbye to the bride and groom after the family reception was based on the idea that they were longing to be alone together. Now we are probably safer to assume that they would far rather have a big flashy party with all their friends, and be treated as king and queen for the duration. I can't remember anyone ever dreaming of excluding children from the kind of church-and-dinner wedding of my youth, but if we are talking stately homes and classy themed receptions, children can come to strike people has nothing but noisy nuisances. I have seen someone on here bleating that pushchairs would ruin their wedding photographs; heaven help any friend or family member of that person who needs to use a wheelchair. I think it is a shame myself; but I still see weddings as a fundamental rite of passage and the union of two families, and think that children, as well as one's less ornamental uncles and aunts, are part of the deal.
My friend payed £1,500 for a buffet on the night, the day I do that is the day I'm a millionaire.
Yes, I completely agree with you.
What is a wedding if not a celebration of family and friendship? We seem to be turning so many things into flashy, vulgar displays of excess. School discos replaced by Americanised 'proms', hen and stag parties characterised by being expensive. We are losing something here.
Zut alors! Je serai l'oncle d'un singe! It works, it works!
I knew how to do it on an iMac, but I'd never tried it on the iPad.
Merci mon ami.
Our wedding was nice but not over the top and everybody says how it was the best wedding they have ever been to. We did/made most of the things ourself and hired a ceilidh band so everyone got up dancing and mingling instead of sitting bored and listening to the usual crap disco. Instead of a fancy evening buffet we had posh chip cones and bacon and sausage butties. We held it in an oak timbered and glass barn style function room overlooking a golf course. They had fairy lights and it looked magical. The whole wedding came in just under £3k which is still more than I would have liked to have spent.
We cut back on stuff like wedding cars which seemed a waste seeing as the wedding and reception took place in one venue so who was gonna see it anyway? Instead we decorated our cars with ribbon and bows and got our dads to drive us. We didn't bother dressing the chairs and putting bows on them as we thought again it was a total waste and also I think they look twee and aren't as comfortable to sit on. We had friends to do things like flower arranging and bought or made all the table decorations ourselves, made personalised favours and printed our own invites. I got a friend who's a toastmaster who by chance also does magic and is a kids entertainer so guests were entertained with table magic after the daytime meal and another friend who's an excellent amateur photographer. Instead of champagne for the toasts, the venue allowed us to buy our own for a small corkage price per bottle. However the venue didn't stipulate how big the bottles could be so we bought a case of those 3ltr bottles of Aldi lambrini copy and there was hardly anyone who didn't finish their glass unlike other weddings we've been to where hardly anyone likes the taste of champagne and half of it gets thrown away. The couple who's Karaoke we go to every week also run a flower shop so she supplied our flowers and button holes at cost price and arranged them for us for free as a wedding present and he ended the night with an hour of disco after the band had finished. Our biggest cost was the caterers, venue hire and my wife's dress which she had no option but to have custom made.
Personally if it was up to me I'd have said sod the lot of you and gone to Florida and got married on Miami beach with just close family and spent the money on ourselves but it was a great day and I'm not just saying that because it was our weeding. We've been to loads of weddings that have all been the same. Drab function room with buffet followed by a naff disco and people just sit around bored. Nobody was bored at our wedding as there was something for everyone.
I do think some people like the idea of a big flashy wedding more than the marriage itself.