Can a male/female Platonic relationship exist?

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:15

Yes, it's that old chestnut again! Really, though: Do you think a heterosexual man and woman can have a longstanding close Platonic relationship, as close as it's possible to be, without one or both of them falling in love?

CitizenofPhobos · 03/06/13 - 01:16

It is true, I have a few Female friends like this, lovely people but there is just no sexual attraction. It'd be like lusting over Mum with some of them.

Cryolemon · 03/06/13 - 01:16

I don't see why not.

fink · 03/06/13 - 01:17

No, I've had sex with all my female friends at least once.

copthis1 · 03/06/13 - 01:19

If she's a moose, yes.

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:20

CitizenofPhobos wrote: »

It is true, I have a few Female friends like this, lovely people but there is just no sexual attraction. It'd be like lusting over Mum with some of them.

Understood, but do you actually really LOVE these female friends?

zx50 · 03/06/13 - 01:21

I definitely think it can. I see no reason why a man and a woman can't enjoy themselves without the need for any sexual activity to take place between them.

Miss XYZ · 03/06/13 - 01:23

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

Understood, but do you actually really LOVE these female friends?

You can love friends without being "in love" with them.

vosne · 03/06/13 - 01:24

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

Yes, it's that old chestnut again! Really, though: Do you think a heterosexual man and woman can have a longstanding close Platonic relationship, as close as it's possible to be, without one or both of them falling in love?

Of course. My closest friends are mainly female and I love them to bits. But not in a sexual way.

agrainofsand · 03/06/13 - 01:25

vosne wrote: »

Of course. My closest friends are mainly female and I love them to bits. But not in a sexual way.

You crossed the line with Matilde though.

Brigon · 03/06/13 - 01:26

No. Close platonic friendship is impossible between a straight male/straight female, sure you can have male/female friends, but close friendships won't work.
Obviously though gay male/straight female, straight male/lesbian female & gay male/lesbian female close relationships can work.

vosne · 03/06/13 - 01:27

agrainofsand wrote: »

You crossed the line with Matilde though.

True dat

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:27

zx50 wrote: »

I definitely think it can. I see no reason why a man and a woman can't enjoy themselves without the need for any sexual activity to take place between them.

Enjoying each other's company isn't the same thing as loving each other. It's the separation of Platonic love from non-Platonic love that I'm interested in.

vosne · 03/06/13 - 01:27

Brigon wrote: »

No. Close platonic friendship is impossible between a straight male/straight female, sure you can have male/female friends, but close friendships won't work.
Obviously though gay male/straight female, straight male/lesbian female & gay male/lesbian female close relationships can work.

Am I imagining my life then? :eek:

SJ_Mental · 03/06/13 - 01:27

A good few years ago I would say it could, I was good friends with a couple and got on really well with both of them, I'd spend an equal amount of time with both separately and together and felt that we were nothing but good friends.
A few more years went by and I got the feeling that the lady in question was placing hints that there could be maybe more in our relationship, I was happy in my own and had no wish to be with this woman in any way.
I backed off a little and only went around when I'd know the husband was there whilst staying friendly with both, A few months later she started telling my family I was having an affair with her :eek:
She left her partner almost straight after this "reveal" and began semi stalking/spreading lies around about me.

imrightok · 03/06/13 - 01:28

Yep. Personally I feel the longer you are friends the harder it would be to start anything. Just my personal opinion.

Harper_Milne · 03/06/13 - 01:28

If they aren't interested in each other in that way, or both are in relationships then yes. I have loads of guy friends and I am most definitely not interested in them sexually, I just like hanging out with them.

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:29

Miss XYZ wrote: »

You can love friends without being "in love" with them.

But if you really love them very deeply and over a long time, wouldn't you want to show that love in the most meaningful way?

zx50 · 03/06/13 - 01:33

Brigon wrote: »

No. Close platonic friendship is impossible between a straight male/straight female, sure you can have male/female friends, but close friendships won't work.
Obviously though gay male/straight female, straight male/lesbian female & gay male/lesbian female close relationships can work.

So you're saying that there's no straight man and woman out there that are close friends and don't have sexual contact at all? I find that very hard to believe. I'd say there are.

Edit: What if by some coincidence they're both asexual?

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:33

Harper_Milne wrote: »

If they aren't interested in each other in that way, or both are in relationships then yes. I have loads of guy friends and I am most definitely not interested in them sexually, I just like hanging out with them.

But again, do you actually love these men?

[Deleted User] · 03/06/13 - 01:34

Yes they can.

Miss XYZ · 03/06/13 - 01:36

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

But if you really love them very deeply and over a long time, wouldn't you want to show that love in the most meaningful way?

Not if they're just a friend, no. If you find yourself wanting to have sex with them then you're seeing them as far more than just a friend. You can love a friend very deeply without wanting to jump into bed with them. I guess problems are likely to occur if one side ends up falling for the other and the feeling isn't mutual.

KorkyTheCat · 03/06/13 - 01:37

zx50 wrote: »

So you're saying that there's no straight man and woman out there that are close friends and don't have sexual contact at all? I find that very hard to believe. I'd say there are.

Edit: What if by some coincidence they're both asexual?

I didn't actually mention sex in the title, only falling in love.

vosne · 03/06/13 - 01:37

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

But again, do you actually love these men?

Korky, I'm answering you. Pay attention to me or I'll throw a three-legged cat at you.

Miss XYZ · 03/06/13 - 01:38

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

But again, do you actually love these men?

I think you are confusing loving someone and being "in love" with someone. They're two entirely different things.

wych · 03/06/13 - 01:39

KorkyTheCat wrote: »

Enjoying each other's company isn't the same thing as loving each other. It's the separation of Platonic love from non-Platonic love that I'm interested in.

What about the relationship between straight brothers & sisters? Doesn't that qualify?

Hey there!

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Can a male/female Platonic relationship exist?

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