Married women dropping their maiden names
Doctor Bench
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In this day and age of gender equality, what's your verdict on women dropping their maiden names in favour of their husband's upon getting married? Misogynistic or mere tradition?
Women dropping their maiden names: right or wrong? 141 votes
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I have also read about some who both pick a new name altogether.
In same sex marriage I think again some take their partners name and some don't a girl I went to school with is marrying her long term GF and is taking her name.
I'm keeping my name, and I think that kids should generally have their father's name (because generally speaking, a mother knows for sure they're her kids!).
My boyfriend and I have agreed that any kids will have my surname as a last middle name. They can choose to use it or not. And, of course, if they are girls, and choose to take their partner's name in future, they will still keep my name as a middle name!
I imagine that I will double-barrel my surname as I want to acknowledge where I came from and who I am married to.
Not good if John Hammersmith married Jane Flyover.
Thinking about it of my closest 20 odd female friends or those relations in either family, I do not know a single one which has not taken solely the husband name.
Likewise on my FB account which I occasionally dip into, I have 30-40 odd women who were in my year at school on my friend list. I think every one has a different surname to when at school. Not one is the same, nor any double barrelled so presumably are the partners name.
Or if Princess Di had married Chris Rea.
I wanted the same name as my daughter, who had her fathers surname and that was one of the biggest factors in us getting married (obviously love each other too!!).
Although when celebrities do it, I'm sure the reason is to trade off the name (Jo Wood, Angie Bowie... I'm looking at YOU).
My Mum didn't change her name for years after my parents split up. For her it was more convenience. It was an amicable break up so there wasn't the nastiness associated with the name. Also she'd been that name for 16+ years so everyone knew her by that name and it was the name on all her documents/accounts etc.
That's another reason I probably wouldn't change my name, I'm too lazy to change everything that has my name on it
Or if you want a name to define you as a couple, how about choosing a new one between you?
Or equally the husband has a really unfortunate name you might decide that you suddenly don't believe in taking surnames.
I went to uni with someone who was engaged to a Mr Love-Fevre (French) and she was pretty excited abut having what is basically Love Fever as a surname, but they ended up splitting up.
I'm not surprised they were excited about that tbh.
And I've always thought that was totally wrong having a different name to your kids. I'd feel like the father was their natural father, and I was some stranger outsider, interloper and not their natural mum....
What I have always hated is why oh why, once the couple are married, are they always proclaimed as "man and wife" and not "husband and wife"....
I haven't thought it was sexist just merely a bit odd. A bit like saying "oh look, here comes the man and his dog"!
Like, the man still has his identity, whereas the woman is now simply known as "the wife".......
In what way is that 'totally wrong' if all the parties concerned are happy with that? It's obviously not something you would like, but I don't understand why you 'don't agree' with your sister's choice.
Well, that's one way of completely misunderstanding what marriage is, along with a very large and unnecessary chip on your shoulder.