Married women dropping their maiden names

Doctor BenchDoctor Bench Posts: 4,467
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In this day and age of gender equality, what's your verdict on women dropping their maiden names in favour of their husband's upon getting married? Misogynistic or mere tradition?

Women dropping their maiden names: right or wrong? 141 votes

Right: men are the head of the household and have a duty to protect their families
4%
finbaarzackai48PrincessTTSuper BanditBPL2011chopsim 6 votes
Unarguably sexist - men wouldn't be expected to change their surnames
19%
InkblotlazyjanehickenboksboxmalpascMoonbeanLisa.BSpikie ChickPink WafergamernewbieHogzillaCBFreakelliecatStinkerbellbiggle2000ErinsAuntieKathtiacatThe FBIDoctor BenchTardisSteve 27 votes
It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
61%
TobySwelwynroseEllie666The_OnechinchinPisces Cloud[Deleted User]ChrisEbleary_eyedMAWDPSElectraSJ_Mentalpixel_pixelfloozie_21molliepopsjpcmeEELoverSuper_SteveBonesy84 87 votes
Other/undecided
14%
angel.vampskp20040jesayaInMyArmsioliteGurglesParadise_Lostlea_ukJulesFJo09muggins14CreamteaArcanaRegis MagnaeJames FrederickbarlowconnorAn ThropologistLakieLadythelizzyukzPlucky_Octopus 21 votes
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Comments

  • CreamteaCreamtea Posts: 14,682
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    Other/undecided
    How about personal choice?
  • noise747noise747 Posts: 30,692
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    My next door neighbours son took his wife’s maiden name. Not sure what i would do if I got married.
  • James FrederickJames Frederick Posts: 53,184
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    Other/undecided
    Up to them not all do as it's not the law and in somecases the husband takes the wifes name.

    I have also read about some who both pick a new name altogether.

    In same sex marriage I think again some take their partners name and some don't a girl I went to school with is marrying her long term GF and is taking her name.
  • rumpleteazerrumpleteazer Posts: 5,746
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    Tradition, it makes sense if you're having children and don't want to give them a double barrelled surname. Saying that I have no intention of dropping my surname if/when I get married, and I don't like the idea of it being double barrelled so we'll see what ends up happening if I have kids. He can take my name if he wants :D
  • thefairydandythefairydandy Posts: 3,235
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    Tradition, it makes sense if you're having children and don't want to give them a double barrelled surname. Saying that I have no intention of dropping my surname if/when I get married, and I don't like the idea of it being double barrelled so we'll see what ends up happening if I have kids. He can take my name if he wants :D

    I'm keeping my name, and I think that kids should generally have their father's name (because generally speaking, a mother knows for sure they're her kids!).

    My boyfriend and I have agreed that any kids will have my surname as a last middle name. They can choose to use it or not. And, of course, if they are girls, and choose to take their partner's name in future, they will still keep my name as a middle name!
  • .Lauren..Lauren. Posts: 7,864
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    Do what you want, it doesn't matter, it's just a name.

    I imagine that I will double-barrel my surname as I want to acknowledge where I came from and who I am married to.
  • ElyanElyan Posts: 8,781
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    Double-barrelled name seem to be becoming more common.

    Not good if John Hammersmith married Jane Flyover.
  • Cissy FairfaxCissy Fairfax Posts: 11,782
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    I was happy for my wife to do what she wanted but she wasa absolutely insistent on taking my name, never contemplated otherwise. For tradition, shared name for children etc.

    Thinking about it of my closest 20 odd female friends or those relations in either family, I do not know a single one which has not taken solely the husband name.

    Likewise on my FB account which I occasionally dip into, I have 30-40 odd women who were in my year at school on my friend list. I think every one has a different surname to when at school. Not one is the same, nor any double barrelled so presumably are the partners name.
  • Cissy FairfaxCissy Fairfax Posts: 11,782
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    Elyan wrote: »
    Double-barrelled name seem to be becoming more common.

    Not good if John Hammersmith married Jane Flyover.

    Or if Princess Di had married Chris Rea.
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,828
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    I dont really have opinions on what others do .I do what suits me as do they
  • LuckyyemLuckyyem Posts: 598
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    I think it's personal choice.

    I wanted the same name as my daughter, who had her fathers surname and that was one of the biggest factors in us getting married (obviously love each other too!!).
  • jjnejjne Posts: 6,580
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    Entirely up to the individual. What has it to do with anyone else?
  • SillyBoyBlueSillyBoyBlue Posts: 3,233
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    What I don't get is divorced women who still keep their ex-husband's name. Surely getting divorced means you want nothing more to do with your ex?

    Although when celebrities do it, I'm sure the reason is to trade off the name (Jo Wood, Angie Bowie... I'm looking at YOU).
  • dekafdekaf Posts: 8,398
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    Each to their own really, though it's not something I would do, as to me, it is stemming from the fact that once married you became the man's 'property'.
  • rumpleteazerrumpleteazer Posts: 5,746
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    What I don't get is divorced women who still keep their ex-husband's name. Surely getting divorced means you want nothing more to do with your ex?

    Although when celebrities do it, I'm sure the reason is to trade off the name (Jo Wood, Angie Bowie... I'm looking at YOU).

    My Mum didn't change her name for years after my parents split up. For her it was more convenience. It was an amicable break up so there wasn't the nastiness associated with the name. Also she'd been that name for 16+ years so everyone knew her by that name and it was the name on all her documents/accounts etc.

    That's another reason I probably wouldn't change my name, I'm too lazy to change everything that has my name on it :D
  • FizixFizix Posts: 16,932
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    It's just tradition. Dropping or keeping a maiden name doesn't describe what a couples relationship is like. An abusive, one sided or mysoginistic relationship will be as such regardless of traditions like marriage and the things that come with it.
  • stoatiestoatie Posts: 78,106
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    Depends on how awesome the surname of the person you're marrying is. I'd say there's no real reason for either party to change their name, but if you were marrying someone called Godzilla or something, you'd be a fool not to take the opportunity.

    Or if you want a name to define you as a couple, how about choosing a new one between you?
  • .Lauren..Lauren. Posts: 7,864
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    stoatie wrote: »
    Depends on how awesome the surname of the person you're marrying is. I'd say there's no real reason for either party to change their name, but if you were marrying someone called Godzilla or something, you'd be a fool not to take the opportunity.

    Or if you want a name to define you as a couple, how about choosing a new one between you?

    Or equally the husband has a really unfortunate name you might decide that you suddenly don't believe in taking surnames.

    I went to uni with someone who was engaged to a Mr Love-Fevre (French) and she was pretty excited abut having what is basically Love Fever as a surname, but they ended up splitting up.
  • FizixFizix Posts: 16,932
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    .Lauren. wrote: »
    Or equally the husband has a really unfortunate name you might decide that you suddenly don't believe in taking surnames.

    I went to uni with someone who was engaged to a Mr Love-Fevre (French) and she was pretty excited abut having what is basically Love Fever as a surname, but they ended up splitting up.

    I'm not surprised they were excited about that tbh.
  • cas1977cas1977 Posts: 6,399
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    It is hugely traditional to take the mans name, and so yes I agree with that. What I don't agree with are some women (my sister used to be one of them until they married..) giving their children the fathers name, and if they're only living together, obviously still having their maiden name.

    And I've always thought that was totally wrong having a different name to your kids. I'd feel like the father was their natural father, and I was some stranger outsider, interloper and not their natural mum....
  • SemieroticSemierotic Posts: 11,131
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    IMO the woman taking the man's name seems rather dated now. Still, the children have to have a surname so how's that decided?
  • cas1977cas1977 Posts: 6,399
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    dekaf wrote: »
    Each to their own really, though it's not something I would do, as to me, it is stemming from the fact that once married you became the man's 'property'.
    I can see your point though I would still prefer to take his name....

    What I have always hated is why oh why, once the couple are married, are they always proclaimed as "man and wife" and not "husband and wife"....

    I haven't thought it was sexist just merely a bit odd. A bit like saying "oh look, here comes the man and his dog"!

    Like, the man still has his identity, whereas the woman is now simply known as "the wife".......
  • Alfred ChickenAlfred Chicken Posts: 526
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    I for one wouldn't want to be married to the kind of woman who thinks this harmless age old and sensible tradition is "unarguably sexist" so it's not something I'm ever going to have to worry about.
  • JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    Other/undecided
    cas1977 wrote: »
    It is hugely traditional to take the mans name, and so yes I agree with that. What I don't agree with are some women (my sister used to be one of them until they married..) giving their children the fathers name, and if they're only living together, obviously still having their maiden name.

    And I've always thought that was totally wrong having a different name to your kids. I'd feel like the father was their natural father, and I was some stranger outsider, interloper and not their natural mum....

    In what way is that 'totally wrong' if all the parties concerned are happy with that? It's obviously not something you would like, but I don't understand why you 'don't agree' with your sister's choice.
  • Alfred ChickenAlfred Chicken Posts: 526
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    It's tradition - we're all equal but there's no harm done
    dekaf wrote: »
    Each to their own really, though it's not something I would do, as to me, it is stemming from the fact that once married you became the man's 'property'.

    Well, that's one way of completely misunderstanding what marriage is, along with a very large and unnecessary chip on your shoulder.
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