Right, been thinking about this, and whilst I'm adamant that it's purely because of pictures (everyone judges by them, regardless of what people say); that's a firm belief of mine. Anyway, thought I'd go ahead and get my PoF Profile pasted here. Let people pick it apart.
If you're going to comment on something (be it wrong, out of place, or best left out) please give examples of how to improve. Don't just say "you shouldn't say that" cause if you can't provide a reason or alternative, you're not helping and I'll just ignore your post.
I actually like it, Flash. It's very difficult nowadays to create a dating profile that's unique, and there's been some negative commentary lately about "typical contents of a dating profile", but I don't see how you can win - a hell of a lot more people are trying online dating than 10 or so years ago, so it's natural that some profiles will appear to be generic.
However, yours doesn't appear generic. It's honest, it's an interesting read, and it's warts 'n' all, so to speak. I think the only thing I'd be a bit iffy about (if I were on the dating scene) would be the size comments. You say you would avoid a size 0 and size 50, which is fair enough, but what about a size 14 or 18? Or 20? What's your limit, size-wise? Whatever it is, it's your call, but a beautiful lady of size 18 might feel you wouldn't be interested in her, whereas you actually might be. I hope you see what I mean with that.
Anyway, good profile, and good luck.
Edit: You wanted suggestions, or you'd ignore me haha! Well, this bit:
I don't think I've got a type, some people I'm attracted too, others I'm not. If you're a size 0, or size 50, it's unlikely we're going to be a match.
... could be amended so that your upper size 50 could be your own upper size limit. If you've got an ideal size (eg size 16, lots of curves) then say so. I'm just trying to increase your options, but others may be more savvy about this sort of thing.
Your profile is far to long, to much waffle. Very few chicks will want to read it all. PoF is a free dating site and I doubt you'll get very far with it. Join a site like Match.
A picture paints a 1000 words. What kind of pictures do you have of yourself on your profile? You can be great with words and prose but if you look vulnerable or odd nobody will want to contact you.
Shorten your profile. Let the chicks want to message you to find out more. Photograph yourself with animals and do some adventure sports like parachute jumping or something to give the image of a loving yet exciting guy.
Meanwhile book an escort as otherwise you'll be a 40 year old virgin.
Your profile is far to long, to much waffle. Very few chicks will want to read it all. PoF is a free dating site and I doubt you'll get very far with it. Join a site like Match.
A picture paints a 1000 words. What kind of pictures do you have of yourself on your profile? You can be great with words and prose but if you look vulnerable or odd nobody will want to contact you.
Shorten your profile. Let the chicks want to message you to find out more. Photograph yourself with animals and do some adventure sports like parachute jumping or something to give the image of a loving yet exciting guy.
Meanwhile book an escort as otherwise you'll be a 40 year old virgin.
Well, that surprised me. It just shows different tastes, I suspect? I found his profile interesting and not hard to read, and you found it waffly. I suppose it's up to Flash what he does with it, but it's definitely good for him to see different opinions on it.
Your profile is far to long, to much waffle. Very few chicks will want to read it all. PoF is a free dating site and I doubt you'll get very far with it. Join a site like Match.
A picture paints a 1000 words. What kind of pictures do you have of yourself on your profile? You can be great with words and prose but if you look vulnerable or odd nobody will want to contact you.
Shorten your profile. Let the chicks want to message you to find out more. Photograph yourself with animals and do some adventure sports like parachute jumping or something to give the image of a loving yet exciting guy.
Meanwhile book an escort as otherwise you'll be a 40 year old virgin.
This old chick liked it and would read it all.
I will be back with a few more words later, but got to go earn some money now.
I have known people who haven't had sex and they're in their 30's it doesn't make them bad people but the excuses just get bigger as each year passes and I find myself finding it quite annoying.
The World is full of billions of people, the likelihood of finding 1 person who wants to have sex is probably 100% probability.
See, I keep thinking about this; there's that many people on the planet, let alone the millions on the UK. You'd think I'd be able to find a couple of people that are interested?
So if you wanna do those sites go for it but I think you shouldn't expect too much AND also go and get an escort or something at the same time. A lot of worries are about culture, in the UK sex is so freakin prudish it's pathetic, when I went to Amsterdam they have women in windows you can pay for, sex museums on the streets and little cubicles in porn shops you can pop inside and masturbate in.
Hah, completely different culture out there; same with Prague. Still, thanks for your feedback.
Edit: You wanted suggestions, or you'd ignore me haha! Well, this bit:
... could be amended so that your upper size 50 could be your own upper size limit. If you've got an ideal size (eg size 16, lots of curves) then say so. I'm just trying to increase your options, but others may be more savvy about this sort of thing.
The whole "not size 0, or size 50" is meant to be more of a joke than anything else; specifically stating that I'm not interested in people who starve themselves, or eat more than their body weight. That said, I could probably do with rewording that to make it sound better, or just take it out!
Your profile is far to long, to much waffle. Very few chicks will want to read it all. PoF is a free dating site and I doubt you'll get very far with it. Join a site like Match.
I've had a stint on Match and didn't get any further.
A picture paints a 1000 words. What kind of pictures do you have of yourself on your profile? You can be great with words and prose but if you look vulnerable or odd nobody will want to contact you.
My pictures vary; I've got one of me on my bike, one playing crazy golf, two out in town, and two 'selfies'.
Shorten your profile. Let the chicks want to message you to find out more. Photograph yourself with animals and do some adventure sports like parachute jumping or something to give the image of a loving yet exciting guy.
I'd think it difficult to shorten my profile without leaving important stuff out. I swear some people write hardly anything and then wonder why they don't get contact (then again, I'm not getting any contact either). Hmm.
Little things improve so much like the ability to fantasise during masturbation as you actually know what a human contact feels like rather than just watching an image.
Sex dreams improve as well. (at least for me). Before having had sex, sex dreams would always stop at the moment of entrance if you get my gist, i assume as my mind had no reference for what that felt like. After i had parked the pink bus the dreams did not stop at that all too frustrating point...
Meanwhile book an escort as otherwise you'll be a 40 year old virgin.
If someone is never going to have sex without the use of a prostitute, what does that say about them in all honesty?
Personally, if I'm a virgin at 40, and I may well be, then that's a reflection of my popularity as a person and no amount of money can fix that, I was meant to be like that.
Life's a popularity contest at the end of the day, its an open market, some people are so undesirable that nobody wants to be with them, and then that's something you have to live with. I could spend loads of money on escorts, but that wouldn't solve any of the underlying issues would it?
Life's a popularity contest at the end of the day, its an open market, some people are so undesirable that nobody wants to be with them, and then that's something you have to live with. I could spend loads of money on escorts, but that wouldn't solve any of the underlying issues would it?
There appears to be more male virgins on here than female virgins. I have to say that I spent my single years trying NOT to have sex as every man I met seemed to try it on.
There appears to be more male virgins on here than female virgins. I have to say that I spent my single years trying NOT to have sex as every man I met seemed to try it on.
A man cannot be as much of a virgin as a woman can.
There appears to be more male virgins on here than female virgins. I have to say that I spent my single years trying NOT to have sex as every man I met seemed to try it on.
I get the impression that more men visit entertainment forums such as this, and thus the percentage is always going to be higher. You've also stated your trying not to have sex during your single years; which kind of implies that you did. I don't understand the relevance of your statement, apart from where you've said many men try their luck - and they do, half of them no doubt get somewhere when the other half don't, but for 50% (at least) of men trying, there's a woman who accepts.
I get the impression that more men visit entertainment forums such as this, and thus the percentage is always going to be higher. You've also stated your trying not to have sex during your single years; which kind of implies that you did. I don't understand the relevance of your statement, apart from where you've said many men try their luck - and they do, half of them no doubt get somewhere when the other half don't, but for 50% (at least) of men trying, there's a woman who accepts.
If you're not speaking about what I've replied to below, then I am clueless as to your meaning - and the reason you commented. Seems ... out of place?
With women, isn't it more a physical thing (in additional to emotional/mental), whereas with a man, it's purely emotional/mental?
Try saying that to all the men who tore their frenulum the first time they had sex!
I get the impression that more men visit entertainment forums such as this, and thus the percentage is always going to be higher. You've also stated your trying not to have sex during your single years; which kind of implies that you did. I don't understand the relevance of your statement, apart from where you've said many men try their luck - and they do, half of them no doubt get somewhere when the other half don't, but for 50% (at least) of men trying, there's a woman who accepts.
Things were different then. There was no internet, no dating sites, no Match.com. If you wanted to meet members of the opposite sex, then you went out.
Things were different then. There was no internet, no dating sites, no Match.com. If you wanted to meet members of the opposite sex, then you went out.
With respect, you were the one that specifically mentioned here. I responded in kind.
Hi Flash. I've been following this thread for a few days now and just wanted to add my thoughts.
I met my partner 6 years ago on match. Up until that point I was a virgin too and worried I'd never find anyone.
I know you say you don't want to pay for a dating site but I'm not sure I understand why. If you'd pay for sex, why not pay for the opportunity to meet someone you may actually have a connection with? The problem with free dating sites is there's always the chance the person you're looking at might just be having a laugh and not be taking it as seriously. If you're paying for it, you care more.
Secondly, the first thing anyone coming to your profile will do is have a good look at the pictures. Many will move along without even reading. So it's best to get those right first. I don't suppose I can convince you to post one here can I? I understand if you say no, but sometimes it can honestly just be the case of using a bad picture. I haven't used PoF but on match I know the thumbnails they used to use made some pictures just look like crap. I'd recommend something that doesn't disguise who you are - stupid camera angles, mirror shots, don't hide behind shades or hats or anything like that.
Then onto what you've written... please don't be offended by this but ... ugh it's so vague! Everyone likes TV and music (well most people do) but what kind of TV do you like? What's you're favourite show? Why do you like it? What music do you like? If you're answer to that is "I listen to a bit of everything" then remove that statement as it's clearly not a passion. you say you like to cycle, where do you cycle? Is it for the scenery, to get fit etc? Do you have a nice bike, do you spend time working on it ... etc. Tell us why you do these things.
When my partner "winked" at me on match for the first time, his profile wasn't the first I'd read by a long shot. I got winks everyday, as I'm guessing most women do. First I saw his picture and I thought he had a lovely warm smile. He wasn't out cycling or climbing mountains but it looked like a real picture and a genuine emotion. Then I read his profile and was hooked. I hadn't read anything like it on match before. He talked about loving Japanese anime, gaming, metal, wwe, graphic design, animals, his family etc. It really built a picture of who he was in my mind before we ever spoke.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't use your profile to list things you do, use it to talk passionately about things you love. The clearer picture you paint of yourself the less likely someone will be disappointed when meeting you.
Hope that didn't come across harshly! Good luck and update us on whatever you decide.
Yeah sorry I know I sound like a right negative bastard. I suppose being 28 and in is the position has encouraged me to look at the glass half empty, and maybe that's part of my problem. Its hard to be positive and optimistic, and in many ways I still am, but there is a prt of me that thinks its not meant to be. Still all I can do is keep putting myself out there and create social opportunities. Its more than I used to do anyway when I was actively avoiding people!m
I suppose it's like buying a car (bare with me); everyone would love to buy a Ferrari or Lamborghini, and everyone looks in awe as one drives past, but most people own a normal car because they know they'll never be able to afford one of those top range motors.
Well there is your problem then.
FYI we don't all lust after a Ferrari or Lamborghini - either in car terms or people terms. Gosh as a female I'd hate to be the one you have to make do with as the better ones are out of your league!
I can't help thinking this mindset must be coming across in some way.
Do your escort thing by all means. But then I would stop trying to classify people and just try to strike up a relationship with someone you like for themselves.
I know you say you don't want to pay for a dating site but I'm not sure I understand why. If you'd pay for sex, why not pay for the opportunity to meet someone you may actually have a connection with? The problem with free dating sites is there's always the chance the person you're looking at might just be having a laugh and not be taking it as seriously. If you're paying for it, you care more.
You've obviously missed it; easily done with eight pages and a lot of text.
I did join Match.com for a three-month stint, and sure, I know it was only three months, but during those three months I did the same as I've been doing on PoF; in the sense that I'd sent out a fair number of unique, and individual messages. I never got any replies from any of them. I subsequently cancelled my subscription after that, or rather, didn't renew.
Secondly, the first thing anyone coming to your profile will do is have a good look at the pictures. Many will move along without even reading. So it's best to get those right first. I don't suppose I can convince you to post one here can I? I understand if you say no, but sometimes it can honestly just be the case of using a bad picture. I haven't used PoF but on match I know the thumbnails they used to use made some pictures just look like crap. I'd recommend something that doesn't disguise who you are - stupid camera angles, mirror shots, don't hide behind shades or hats or anything like that.
Then onto what you've written... please don't be offended by this but ... ugh it's so vague! Everyone likes TV and music (well most people do) but what kind of TV do you like? What's you're favourite show? Why do you like it? What music do you like? If you're answer to that is "I listen to a bit of everything" then remove that statement as it's clearly not a passion. you say you like to cycle, where do you cycle? Is it for the scenery, to get fit etc? Do you have a nice bike, do you spend time working on it ... etc. Tell us why you do these things.
I can appreciate that those items may be a little vague, but then it allows people to ask the question "what do you watch" rather than me listing an entire set of shows. PoF also has an interests section, and in there I've labelled Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead so people have some idea of what I watch.
The problem is, by adding every little detail to my profile, it becomes too much. That said, I suppose I could mention the type of shows I enjoy (rather than name them all; least it narrows the field down a bit).
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't use your profile to list things you do, use it to talk passionately about things you love. The clearer picture you paint of yourself the less likely someone will be disappointed when meeting you.
I thank you for your reply, and don't worry about being harsh; I did ask for it. ;-)
Yeah sorry I know I sound like a right negative bastard. I suppose being 28 and in is the position has encouraged me to look at the glass half empty, and maybe that's part of my problem. Its hard to be positive and optimistic, and in many ways I still am, but there is a prt of me that thinks its not meant to be. Still all I can do is keep putting myself out there and create social opportunities. Its more than I used to do anyway when I was actively avoiding people!m
Hah, don't worry about it. I'd like to think I know exactly how you feel, though maybe I'm a bit more optimistic? I don't know! I'm more of a "the glass has water in it" kind of guy; a realist (at least, that's what I tell myself).
Well there is your problem then.
FYI we don't all lust after a Ferrari or Lamborghini - either in car terms or people terms. Gosh as a female I'd hate to be the one you have to make do with as the better ones are out of your league!
I can't help thinking this mindset must be coming across in some way.
Do your escort thing by all means. But then I would stop trying to classify people and just try to strike up a relationship with someone you like for themselves.
With respect, I think you're completely missing what I'm trying (and failing) to say. I know what I want to say, but apparently can't put it into the right words.
Sorry I haven't read the whole thread - but I'd definitely go to an escort.
It won't give you experience on how to pleasure a woman, but it should increase your confidence that you're not totally unfamiliar with the "procedure", which will help when you do meet a non sex worker who's into you.
It would be hassle free to go to an escort, as because you are paying she'd treat you okay and not be a problem, providing you do your research on choosing one whom others have found okay.
Whereas, there can be a lot of hassles with picking up a woman for no strings sex; she could have an obnoxious personality and wound you with personal criticisms; she could become a nuisance due to having had too much to drink, etc, or, she may steal off you or give you an STD, or turn out to be a bunny boiler obsessive ... it could be a very bad idea.
I am another who says, forget rating women and yourself. Especially with the female sex, personality can be much more important, and physical attraction itself more quirky. Plus, there's no foolproof agreement on who's better looking or more mediocre; I have known men who say they dislike modelly appearanced ladies for looking "all artificial".
By the way, Million Dollar could, (could, I don't say does) have a point, I think. I think people do sense things about others by un obvious mechanisms. I remember when I used to go out thinking about sex and feeling sexy, I would get far, far more attention than when I was in an asexual phase, and no, that wasn't because of my body language or behaviour I don't think, as I'm not talking about times I was flirting.
I think your dating post is far too long.. I've nosied around on PoF a bit with friends (we are 25) and we wouldn't have read all of that.. It's good that you are putting up a lot of information, but why not save it for someone who messages you? Also scrap the bit about size, even if it was trying to be funny.
Take out the things that you don't like, it makes you look like a negative character. say you like going to pubs, but don't mention you don't like clubs. also the bit about tattoos. take it out. i get that your'e trying to be honest, but you can save that for a time when people actually start messaging you.
i also think you should just have fun with it, message random girls, don't be so intense, have a laugh, you're only 27!!!
Comments
I actually like it, Flash. It's very difficult nowadays to create a dating profile that's unique, and there's been some negative commentary lately about "typical contents of a dating profile", but I don't see how you can win - a hell of a lot more people are trying online dating than 10 or so years ago, so it's natural that some profiles will appear to be generic.
However, yours doesn't appear generic. It's honest, it's an interesting read, and it's warts 'n' all, so to speak. I think the only thing I'd be a bit iffy about (if I were on the dating scene) would be the size comments. You say you would avoid a size 0 and size 50, which is fair enough, but what about a size 14 or 18? Or 20? What's your limit, size-wise? Whatever it is, it's your call, but a beautiful lady of size 18 might feel you wouldn't be interested in her, whereas you actually might be. I hope you see what I mean with that.
Anyway, good profile, and good luck.
Edit: You wanted suggestions, or you'd ignore me haha! Well, this bit:
... could be amended so that your upper size 50 could be your own upper size limit. If you've got an ideal size (eg size 16, lots of curves) then say so. I'm just trying to increase your options, but others may be more savvy about this sort of thing.
A picture paints a 1000 words. What kind of pictures do you have of yourself on your profile? You can be great with words and prose but if you look vulnerable or odd nobody will want to contact you.
Shorten your profile. Let the chicks want to message you to find out more. Photograph yourself with animals and do some adventure sports like parachute jumping or something to give the image of a loving yet exciting guy.
Meanwhile book an escort as otherwise you'll be a 40 year old virgin.
Well, that surprised me. It just shows different tastes, I suspect? I found his profile interesting and not hard to read, and you found it waffly. I suppose it's up to Flash what he does with it, but it's definitely good for him to see different opinions on it.
Chicks?.... last person I heard using that word was Shaggy on Scooby Doo.
Try the website called 'Grannyslappers'..... there's some right old dollops on there.......
This old chick liked it and would read it all.
I will be back with a few more words later, but got to go earn some money now.
See, I keep thinking about this; there's that many people on the planet, let alone the millions on the UK. You'd think I'd be able to find a couple of people that are interested?
Hah, completely different culture out there; same with Prague. Still, thanks for your feedback.
Thanks!
The whole "not size 0, or size 50" is meant to be more of a joke than anything else; specifically stating that I'm not interested in people who starve themselves, or eat more than their body weight. That said, I could probably do with rewording that to make it sound better, or just take it out!
I've had a stint on Match and didn't get any further.
My pictures vary; I've got one of me on my bike, one playing crazy golf, two out in town, and two 'selfies'.
I'd think it difficult to shorten my profile without leaving important stuff out. I swear some people write hardly anything and then wonder why they don't get contact (then again, I'm not getting any contact either). Hmm.
Sex dreams improve as well. (at least for me). Before having had sex, sex dreams would always stop at the moment of entrance if you get my gist, i assume as my mind had no reference for what that felt like. After i had parked the pink bus the dreams did not stop at that all too frustrating point...
If someone is never going to have sex without the use of a prostitute, what does that say about them in all honesty?
Personally, if I'm a virgin at 40, and I may well be, then that's a reflection of my popularity as a person and no amount of money can fix that, I was meant to be like that.
Life's a popularity contest at the end of the day, its an open market, some people are so undesirable that nobody wants to be with them, and then that's something you have to live with. I could spend loads of money on escorts, but that wouldn't solve any of the underlying issues would it?
A man cannot be as much of a virgin as a woman can.
What do you mean? Surely a virgin is a virgin?
If you're not speaking about what I've replied to below, then I am clueless as to your meaning - and the reason you commented. Seems ... out of place?
With women, isn't it more a physical thing (in additional to emotional/mental), whereas with a man, it's purely emotional/mental?
Things were different then. There was no internet, no dating sites, no Match.com. If you wanted to meet members of the opposite sex, then you went out.
Not all men will tare their frenulum.
Not all women will tear their hymen:)
I met my partner 6 years ago on match. Up until that point I was a virgin too and worried I'd never find anyone.
I know you say you don't want to pay for a dating site but I'm not sure I understand why. If you'd pay for sex, why not pay for the opportunity to meet someone you may actually have a connection with? The problem with free dating sites is there's always the chance the person you're looking at might just be having a laugh and not be taking it as seriously. If you're paying for it, you care more.
Secondly, the first thing anyone coming to your profile will do is have a good look at the pictures. Many will move along without even reading. So it's best to get those right first. I don't suppose I can convince you to post one here can I? I understand if you say no, but sometimes it can honestly just be the case of using a bad picture. I haven't used PoF but on match I know the thumbnails they used to use made some pictures just look like crap. I'd recommend something that doesn't disguise who you are - stupid camera angles, mirror shots, don't hide behind shades or hats or anything like that.
Then onto what you've written... please don't be offended by this but ... ugh it's so vague! Everyone likes TV and music (well most people do) but what kind of TV do you like? What's you're favourite show? Why do you like it? What music do you like? If you're answer to that is "I listen to a bit of everything" then remove that statement as it's clearly not a passion. you say you like to cycle, where do you cycle? Is it for the scenery, to get fit etc? Do you have a nice bike, do you spend time working on it ... etc. Tell us why you do these things.
When my partner "winked" at me on match for the first time, his profile wasn't the first I'd read by a long shot. I got winks everyday, as I'm guessing most women do. First I saw his picture and I thought he had a lovely warm smile. He wasn't out cycling or climbing mountains but it looked like a real picture and a genuine emotion. Then I read his profile and was hooked. I hadn't read anything like it on match before. He talked about loving Japanese anime, gaming, metal, wwe, graphic design, animals, his family etc. It really built a picture of who he was in my mind before we ever spoke.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't use your profile to list things you do, use it to talk passionately about things you love. The clearer picture you paint of yourself the less likely someone will be disappointed when meeting you.
Hope that didn't come across harshly! Good luck and update us on whatever you decide.
Yeah sorry I know I sound like a right negative bastard. I suppose being 28 and in is the position has encouraged me to look at the glass half empty, and maybe that's part of my problem. Its hard to be positive and optimistic, and in many ways I still am, but there is a prt of me that thinks its not meant to be. Still all I can do is keep putting myself out there and create social opportunities. Its more than I used to do anyway when I was actively avoiding people!m
Well there is your problem then.
FYI we don't all lust after a Ferrari or Lamborghini - either in car terms or people terms. Gosh as a female I'd hate to be the one you have to make do with as the better ones are out of your league!
I can't help thinking this mindset must be coming across in some way.
Do your escort thing by all means. But then I would stop trying to classify people and just try to strike up a relationship with someone you like for themselves.
You've obviously missed it; easily done with eight pages and a lot of text.
I did join Match.com for a three-month stint, and sure, I know it was only three months, but during those three months I did the same as I've been doing on PoF; in the sense that I'd sent out a fair number of unique, and individual messages. I never got any replies from any of them. I subsequently cancelled my subscription after that, or rather, didn't renew.
Check your Inbox.
I can appreciate that those items may be a little vague, but then it allows people to ask the question "what do you watch" rather than me listing an entire set of shows. PoF also has an interests section, and in there I've labelled Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead so people have some idea of what I watch.
The problem is, by adding every little detail to my profile, it becomes too much. That said, I suppose I could mention the type of shows I enjoy (rather than name them all; least it narrows the field down a bit).
I thank you for your reply, and don't worry about being harsh; I did ask for it. ;-)
As you may have already read, the escort business is off the table at the moment.
Hah, don't worry about it. I'd like to think I know exactly how you feel, though maybe I'm a bit more optimistic? I don't know! I'm more of a "the glass has water in it" kind of guy; a realist (at least, that's what I tell myself).
With respect, I think you're completely missing what I'm trying (and failing) to say. I know what I want to say, but apparently can't put it into the right words.
It won't give you experience on how to pleasure a woman, but it should increase your confidence that you're not totally unfamiliar with the "procedure", which will help when you do meet a non sex worker who's into you.
It would be hassle free to go to an escort, as because you are paying she'd treat you okay and not be a problem, providing you do your research on choosing one whom others have found okay.
Whereas, there can be a lot of hassles with picking up a woman for no strings sex; she could have an obnoxious personality and wound you with personal criticisms; she could become a nuisance due to having had too much to drink, etc, or, she may steal off you or give you an STD, or turn out to be a bunny boiler obsessive ... it could be a very bad idea.
I am another who says, forget rating women and yourself. Especially with the female sex, personality can be much more important, and physical attraction itself more quirky. Plus, there's no foolproof agreement on who's better looking or more mediocre; I have known men who say they dislike modelly appearanced ladies for looking "all artificial".
By the way, Million Dollar could, (could, I don't say does) have a point, I think. I think people do sense things about others by un obvious mechanisms. I remember when I used to go out thinking about sex and feeling sexy, I would get far, far more attention than when I was in an asexual phase, and no, that wasn't because of my body language or behaviour I don't think, as I'm not talking about times I was flirting.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28850239
Take out the things that you don't like, it makes you look like a negative character. say you like going to pubs, but don't mention you don't like clubs. also the bit about tattoos. take it out. i get that your'e trying to be honest, but you can save that for a time when people actually start messaging you.
i also think you should just have fun with it, message random girls, don't be so intense, have a laugh, you're only 27!!!